Concealment, p.2
Concealment, page 2
Elblag, Poland
"You need to go," Claire told Eleana.
"Go?"
"El, you've worn out your welcome."
"With you?"
"Never with me. Gregorovich will be more suspicious than he already is if you stay."
"Claire, I know that we—"
"I love you, El. You have always been my best friend. That's what I need to be for you. Go home to Jonathan. Take the drive to him. Get back to your life."
"Jonathan is on his way to see my father."
"Good time for you to catch up," Claire offered.
"I don't want to see him."
Claire took Eleana's hand and led her to sit on the bed. "You were right, you know? I avoided you. I stayed away because it hurt."
"Claire—"
"It hurt to see you happy, and that made me feel like shit. It hurt because it could have been me—maybe if things had been different. But things weren't different. I was happy for you. I am happy for you. I hated myself. I hated me for what I put you through—for what I let go. And I hated my father for causing it all. Except, he didn't."
"He did."
"No, El, he didn't. He took away a memory," Claire said. "It was cruel. He never took away my choice."
Eleana bowed her head.
"I know why you're angry with him."
"Claire, my father had a hand in hurting you. He had a part in deceiving Cassidy and breaking her heart. He offers excuses."
"But you still love him," Claire said. "I remember how you ran to him when he visited us at school. Papa! You would jump into his arms. He smiled and twirled you around. I envied you. He loved you. Just loved you. He didn't try to make you into anyone or anything you didn't want to be. He just loved you."
Eleana's heart ached from Claire's sadness. "Your father loved you, Claire."
"My father didn't know how to love," Claire said. "That wasn't my fault."
"Is that what you've thought all these years?"
Tears gathered in Claire's eyes. "Isn't that what we all think? Somehow, whatever brokenness they have becomes ours. Who are you angry with?" Claire asked. "Edmond, because he isn't who you want him to be, or you for believing he was someone else?"
"I don't know anymore."
"None of us can make someone love us, El. It doesn't mean we don't love them just the same—even when they turn out to be someone we never knew at all."
"Claire, you know that I—"
"This isn't about you and me—not now. We made our choices—both of us. Mine pushed you away for years. I accept that. You chose Jonathan. I chose Hawk. That will never change how I feel about you. Nothing will ever be able to do that. You will never be able to stop loving your Papa. Stop trying. Face him, El. Say what you need to say. You'll be glad you told him, even if you choose to walk away. I can never do that," she said. "Never tell my father. Never tell my mother."
"Claire."
"Don't become me," Claire said. "If you can still love me after everything I've done, then there is room for Edmond." Claire kissed Eleana's forehead lightly. "I need to call Hawk," she said.
"Claire?"
"Yeah?"
"You're right. We've made our choices. Maybe it's time you stop dwelling on the ones you can't change and start looking at the ones you are making right now. You put up a good front. You forgive everyone except yourself. I'll talk to Papa. Do me a favor? Look at the person in the mirror today. She's pretty amazing."
Claire choked back her mounting tears and nodded. "If she is, it's because you taught her."
Eleana held her breath until Claire walked out the door. "Someday, Claire, you'll see what we all do. Someday."
Westport, Connecticut
Cassidy heard the front door open and close. She stepped into the hallway and watched Alex toss her bag at the foot of the stairs. "Hi," she said. She made her way to Alex and stepped into a warm embrace. "You look as tired as I feel," Cassidy said.
"No rest for the weary," Alex replied. She kissed Cassidy's forehead. "I missed you."
"Yeah?"
"You know I did."
"Did you sleep at all?" Cassidy wondered.
"Nope. You?"
"Not really," Cassidy admitted. "You should go up to bed."
"I'd rather sit down here with you for a while."
"You just drove over two hours on no sleep."
Alex shrugged.
"Overload?" Cassidy guessed.
"Something like that."
"How about some tea?"
Alex snickered. "We really are getting old."
Cassidy swatted her. "Stop it."
"I need to sit," Alex confessed. She headed for the sofa in the living room. She reached down to untie her boots and winced.
"Sit back," Cassidy directed her wife. "Let me."
Alex was too tired to protest.
"You should have stayed at Jonathan's tonight," Cassidy said.
"No thanks. Thank God Mom is staying there this week."
"Why is that?"
"I only know one person who can make a bigger mess with a diaper than Fallon."
Cassidy laughed. "I'm sure he does fine."
"If you like poop on your hands, in your hair, and on your desk, he does great."
"So, that's what you and Pip did for two days and two nights? Diaper duty?"
"Until Mom got there and saved us."
"I'll make the tea."
"Cass? Come sit down."
"It'll only take a minute."
"Sit. Tell me what happened with your dad."
Cassidy reluctantly took a seat next to Alex. "Nothing happened."
"Something happened that upset you. I heard it in your voice when we talked this morning."
"There's nothing to say. He says a lot of words that have absolutely no meaning," Cassidy told Alex. "You know, I feel like a fool."
"Why?"
"Even if he did leave because he was worried for me and Mom, he never stopped, Alex. You have to know that. Whatever he was doing with your father and Edmond didn't stop when he disappeared. Tell me that I'm wrong."
"I wish I could."
Cassidy covered her face and sighed.
"I don't know, Cass. Maybe they tried. Maybe they thought they had to stay on the inside if they hoped to change anything."
"Like you?"
The question took Alex back.
"That is what you think, isn't it?" Cassidy questioned. "That you have to be in the middle of the mess in the world if you want to make a difference."
"Someone has to be."
"Do they?" Cassidy got up from the sofa and put some distance between them.
"Cass, I didn't ask for this."
"Yes, you did, Alex. You, Claire, Pip, even Eleana—you did ask for this."
"That's not fair."
"It is fair," Cassidy argued. "You're all so angry with your fathers. You think it's their fault you are stuck in this mess. Maybe they led you, but you put yourself in it, Alex. Just like they did."
Alex took a deep breath. She wanted to fight back. It was pointless. She'd spent the car ride home warring with herself over this topic. She had choices. She had enjoyed a quiet life with Cassidy and their children for years. She went to work in a classroom. She coached Dylan's high school track team. She drove Mackenzie to soccer games and sleepovers. She was home every night and woke up beside Cassidy every morning for over five years. She could deny everything Cassidy said. It would be a lie, and if Alex was tired of anything, it was lies. "You're right," she said.
Cassidy nodded. "The only way this ever ends, Alex, is if people stop allowing it to continue."
"In a perfect world," Alex said. "That might be the case. We don't live in a perfect world, Cassidy. Whether it was my father or yours—no matter who it is, someone is always hellbent on doing the wrong thing simply because they can. I wish it were all different. It isn't. If I walk away—if people like me take the safe road—more innocent people will be hurt. So, you're right. I'm not one of the innocent people. The choices I've made guaranteed that I would lose my innocence to this world. If you don't think that I regret that choice some days, you're wrong. I can't go back in time. What would I choose if I could go back? College sororities? What would I have become? A broker? A businesswoman? A translator? A coach? I don't know. I can't unsee what I have seen. I can't wipe my memory clean. Maybe if I hadn't seen what I have, if I didn't know what I know, I could walk away. I can't live with myself knowing I might be able to help and chose to do nothing."
"I know that," Cassidy replied.
"Where does that leave us?"
"I love you, Alex. I will always stand by you—always. I can't pretend with you anymore. I can't sit here and tell you that this life you lead is what I would choose for us. I chose you. I knew what that meant when I married you. I'm tired. More than that, I'm terrified."
"I don't want you to be afraid."
"I can't help it, Alex. It keeps coming. Year after year. It doesn't stop."
Alex made her way to Cassidy.
"I don't want to know who he is," Cassidy said. "I want him to be the illusion I created," she admitted. "Sometimes, Alex, I think it would have hurt less if he had stayed dead."
Alex held Cassidy. "I'm so sorry, Cass."
"It's all starting again," Cassidy said. "I don't want to imagine where it might lead. The truth doesn't always set you free, Alex. Sometimes, it takes you prisoner."
"No matter what, Cass, your father loves you."
"I know. That doesn't make it easier. In some ways, it makes it harder. I thought I'd reconciled it all," Cassidy said. "So much of me, who I thought I was—it's tied up in him," she explained. "I was his princess, Alex. The world could be anything that I dreamed of. There were knights, faeries, and magic everywhere—good always found a way. I know his stories were stories. I thought he meant them."
"He did," Alex said. "He meant them for you." Alex stepped back. "He created the world he wanted for you, Cass. He created the him that he wanted you to see. I don't condone any of it and don't know what is next. People we love need me to find answers. I might not be able to change everything. Maybe I can help Candace change some of it. Maybe we can help keep her safe and prevent a few people from getting hurt. Maybe that's all we can hope to accomplish. You're right; there are things none of us want to know. Not me. Not Claire. Not Pip. Not you. We have each other. Not everyone has that to fall back on," Alex said. "If what our fathers have done," she continued. “If it still has the power to hurt people, I have to do what I can to end it."
"I know you do. Please, Alex," Cassidy begged. "I don't want their sins to destroy us—any of us. This is our life. I know you have to do this. Promise me—please, promise me you will remember who you are. You're not your father any more than I am mine."
Alex understood the message. She had searched for years to discover who her father was, the life and work that gave him his identity. Too often, she had linked who he had become with who she thought she should be. "I promise, Cass." She sighed.
"What haven't you told me?" Cassidy asked knowingly.
"What would you say if I told you I'm headed back to Carecom?"
Cassidy stared at Alex.
"Jonathan is on his way to France to meet Edmond."
Cassidy waited for an explanation.
"Edmond wants him to take the reins at Technologie Applique," Alex told her.
"You're not kidding."
"No."
Cassidy didn't know what to say. She returned to the sofa and plopped onto it with a thump.
"Think of it as a good thing," Alex said.
Cassidy looked back at Alex as though Alex had gone mad.
"I'll be in the Connecticut office most days," she offered. "It will be like—"
"Like what? Like old times?" Cassidy closed her eyes and shook her head.
"Cass, come on, I won't be carrying a gun every day."
Cassidy didn't know what to say. She felt the ground shifting beneath her for weeks. She thought she was ready for anything.
Alex grew nervous. "Do you want me to quit?"
"I would never ask you to do that."
"I won't lose you."
"I'm not going anywhere, Alex. I need some time to process this—all of it. I don't have any regrets in our marriage. None. This feels like going back in time. And there are a lot of things about that time I don't care to repeat."
"I understand."
"I'm tired," Cassidy said. "I think I'll head upstairs."
"I love you, you know?"
"I know you do. I love you."
"I'll be up in a few minutes," Alex said.
"Take your time."
"Cass? There were a lot of good things about that time, too."
Cassidy nodded. "Yes. There were."
Tuesday
Paris, France
“Papa.” Eleana hugged Edmond.
“I’m glad you came.”
“I was in the area.”
“I heard,” he said. “Walk with me.”
“Why now?” Eleana asked. “Why do you want Jonathan to come here now?”
“Because my time has come to step away.”
“A changing of the guard?”
“Something like that,” he told her. “He has many questions.”
“You have the answers,” Eleana said. “Why won’t you tell him? Why won’t Jim tell Cassidy the truth?”
“You think there is one big secret we are determined to keep from you?” Edmond observed.
“I think there is more than one.”
“There are wheels that spin, Eleana. Jim and I are cogs in the machine. Nothing more. We have access. We have resources. We are not the ones turning the wheel. We have changed its direction from time to time. This isn’t our world any longer. It is yours. That’s why.”
“Papa?”
“You want to know about Claire.”
“No. I want to know why you stayed.”
“Stayed?”
“In the Collaborative.”
Edmond offered his daughter a complacent smile. “It is what I know.”
“What about me? What about Elliot?”
“Elliot’s path was carved both for him and by him. Much like Claire,” he said. “You and Jonathan? Alex? Nicolaus and I tried to deter you. Somehow, you found your way into it all before you knew what role we played.”
“What role did you play?”
Edmond’s brow furrowed.
“It never ended, did it? The quest to create us.”
“Eleana, you were never a creation.”
“Wasn’t I? Are you so ashamed that you can’t bear the truth?”
“You want to believe that we forced you without your consent,” he said. “I can’t change what you choose to believe any more than I could change the determination you felt to pursue your agenda.”
“My agenda?”
“To become an agent in the Collaborative.”
“I didn’t know I had,” she reminded him.
He smiled. “That it had a name? Perhaps not. You all knew. Long before we gave you a name to attach to it. You knew. You will learn one day, my sweet Eleana, who you are is who you choose to become.”
“Interesting that Cassidy made a different choice,” Eleana observed.
“Is it?”
“One day, Papa, we will all learn the truth.”
“But will you accept it?”
Warsaw, Poland
Wednesday
“Claire Brackett.” Andrei Orlov held out his hand.
“That’s what the nametag says—if I had one.”
He laughed raucously. “You are as I imagined.”
“Is that like saying my reputation precedes me?”
He winked. “Pytor tells me he owes you a debt of gratitude.”
“Is that so?”
“It is a risk to betray the confidence of your president.”
“Technically, I betrayed the confidence of my former partner.”
“And technicalities matter.” Orlov poured her a glass of wine.
“Tell me,” Claire said. “Why would Pytor Gregorovich send me to dinner in Romania only to send me to dinner in Poland?”
“Do you have something against dinner?”
Claire took a sip of the wine he handed her.
“Dinner is fuel,” Orlov told her.
“And you are in the energy business.”
“I am.”
“Is that lucrative for you?” she asked.
“Everyone needs power, Claire.”
Claire raised an eyebrow.
“Power is everything,” he continued.
“And you have a unique way of achieving it.”
“We have a unique method of providing it—for a cost.”
“And how do I fit into this method?”
“Access,” he replied.
“You provide the power; I provide the access?” Claire asked.
He grinned.
Claire raised her glass in a toast. “Where do we begin?”
CHAPTER
ONE
Arlington, Virginia
Tuesday, October 10th
Life was constantly in flux, and it was always challenging to navigate. Even positive changes came with their uncertainties. Cassidy watched as Claire gazed into her coffee cup, lost in thought. She let out a sigh, pulled out a chair from under the table, and took a seat across from her sister. “Do you want to talk about what’s on your mind, or should I try to guess?”
Claire looked up slowly with a half-hearted smile.
“Claire,” Cassidy began gently, “No one expects anything from you—not Mom or Dad.”
The thought of having her parents living close by in Connecticut stirred up a whirlwind of emotions for Claire. While she appreciated the chance to form a bond with Rose, a sense of inadequacy still lingered within her. With Jim living nearby, she couldn’t avoid him even if she wanted to. They had an unexplainable bond that went beyond shared interests and experiences. Jim had known the man who raised her and referred to the parents she’d known as friends. The idea of seeing him frequently stirred up a whirlwind of conflicting emotions within Claire—unsettled yet undeniably intrigued. Ironically, that made her even more determined to keep her distance from him. “Don’t you think it would be better for Jim to stay in DC?” she asked.
