The wish, p.7
The Wish, page 7
Lauren brings Mandy a cup of tea from the machine. ‘One sugar,’ she says with a smile.
Mandy takes it gratefully, and sips. She’s so thankful for the support of all these mothers, all who have similar worries, similar fears. She knows what Jesse’s prognosis does for the other families on this ward because she felt it too – huge grief and concern for the children and parents involved mixed in with the fear that death might touch them too, that it was catching. And it’s obvious that this is what Dean’s unreasonableness about it all – her car, Alex, Jesse’s wish – is all about: fear of death.
Finally, Dean breaks away from watching the football game with the other fathers, catching Mandy’s eye. She nods at him – it’s time to go back and be parents to their children. She gives Lauren a hug goodbye, whispers ‘thank you’ in her ear, and waves at the others.
Together, they walk silently back to Jesse’s room. Amy is stretched out on her bed reading; she looks up from her book and throws them a warm smile. Jesse and Sam are sleeping in each other’s arms. Mandy is overcome with love for her children. They fight and bicker, just like normal siblings, but it’s moments like this, the quiet moments where their love for each other shines so beautifully, that Mandy wants to bottle it up, to keep it safe for a moment in the future when she needs to access that memory.
‘I don’t want some stranger spending time with her when we don’t know how much longer we’ve got,’ Dean whispers, breaking the moment.
Mandy fights back anger, determined to remain calm. She wishes Dean could move past his fear to see how badly Jesse needs to have her wish come true.
‘Jesse knows what she wants and what’s she’s doing. We have to trust her,’ Mandy says, not making eye contact.
They regard their children in silence for a few more moments. ‘School tomorrow,’ Mandy says finally.
‘I’ll take Sam back home and wait for you there,’ Dean says.
Kissing Jesse on the forehead, Dean carefully picks up Sam. Cradling him in his arms, he carries him out. Jesse wakes and struggles to sit up. Mandy gently pushes her back onto the pillows, stroking her daughter’s forehead, like she used to do when she was a toddler. ‘It’s all right, darling, you sleep.’
‘Mum, my wish—’
‘You’ll have your wish, darling, I promise. I’ll not let anything stop you and Alex.’
‘But Dad—’
With a conspiratorial smile, Mandy whispers, ‘You leave him to me.’
Jesse giggles. ‘How many times have you said those words to me?’
‘Probably too many for your father’s liking.’
‘So, you’ll meet Alex?’
‘We’ll all meet him and do everything we can to help the two of you make your wish come true.’
‘It will be worth it, Mum, in the end it will be worth it, I promise you.’
‘I know. Now shush, go back to sleep, I’ll sit here a little longer.’
The smile doesn’t leave Jesse’s face, even as she falls asleep. Mandy looks over at the pinboard, noticing gaps she’s sure weren’t there before. She looks questioningly at Amy, who smiles a secret smile and goes back to her book.
Chapter 11
‘Alex, long time no see!’ Steve calls out.
Dammit, Alex thinks. He didn’t want to draw attention to himself – it’s been days since he’s shown his face in the office as he’s been doing some deep diving into Jesse’s project. It’s turning out to be even more work than he thought it would be at first. Truth be told, he’s a bit daunted by it.
He strides across the office floor, acknowledging his colleagues with a nod or flick of his hand. At his desk, he gets down to business as quickly as possible, logging on before he even has his jacket off. He wants it to look as if he has been at work for a while.
Steve leans over the cubicle. ‘So, how are you getting on?’
‘Good, yourself?’ Alex answers, facing his monitors.
‘I’m good, considering we’ve all had to cop Ian’s bullshit every day you’re not here. What are you up to?’
Alex sighs and swivels his chair round to face Steve. ‘I think I can do it, but I’m going to need help.’
‘Anything, mate, you just have to ask. Have you talked to Ian about it?’
‘I was hoping to circumvent him, you know what he’s like. He’ll want to string me along before he says yes.’
‘That’s true,’ Steve scratches his head. ‘I’ve got a deadline coming up, but I could work on it after hours. Maybe back here after dinner?’
‘Or at my place, if you’re up for it? I’ve got a pretty good set-up.’
‘I’m sure you have.’ Steve leaves his cubicle and pulls up a chair. ‘How about you tell me about this game you’re designing, this wish.’
Alex winces. ‘Ian got that wrong. It’s not a game; it’s an interactive 3D video experience.’
‘Whoa.’ Steve whistles. ‘Tell me more.’
‘Jesse has shown me photos of her family at their favourite places. I’d like your help to go to these places and film them. Then, with the other material she has given me – drawings by her brother, poems from her mum, family photographs – we create a film for them. Next up, we bring them into the studio to recreate their special moments. What do you think?’
‘So, are you saying we’re going to be using the studio? We’d need permission from Frank for that.’
‘Permission shouldn’t be a problem – I’m doing what Frank asked me to do. I’ll ask Frank about the studio when we get to that stage of development.’ Alex thinks, but doesn’t say, if we get to that stage … He needs to stay positive about this. ‘Would it help if I show you what I’ve done so far?’
Steve nods, so Alex goes onto the server and navigates to a private folder. Here he’s scanned in Sam’s drawings, the handwritten poetry. He’s created mood boards and references, trying to establish the visual tone and atmosphere of the piece, something realistic, but also charming, like stepping into your very favourite day. He’s put together some concept art and sketches, based on their conversations and used some 3D models to roughly block out shots and camera movements.
Steve whistles. ‘You’ve got this done in a few days when it takes weeks to put together a three-minute commercial? Are you sure you need me, mate?’
Alex laughs. ‘I absolutely need help. I’m having trouble with the coding between the life shots and the animated. I need a specialist effects artist to work with me.’ He grins at his friend. ‘You don’t happen to know someone, do you?’
‘I can do it. The issue is when I can do it. Ian’s constantly peering over our shoulders to see what we’re up to, he’ll never go for it.’
‘Well, in that case, you’re probably not going to like what I’m going to say next …’
Steve leans back in his chair and folds his arms. ‘OK. Hit me with it.’
Here goes nothing … Alex thinks to himself. He’s been building up to ask Steve this question. ‘So, like I said, at home I’ve got a lot of the equipment we need. I’m just missing the team that brings it together.’
‘The team. So more than just me?’
‘Yeah.’ Alex is feeling a bit sheepish now. ‘I was hoping you would have a word with Phil and Sarah, and maybe Charlie too, to see if they’re interested in helping us.’
‘We’re officially an us, huh?’
‘Steve.’ Alex sighs. ‘Look, eventually, I can get this all done on my own. But even with your help, I’m going to be pushed for time. And Jesse …’ Alex peters out. He’s not sure he can find the right words.
Steve’s expression turns serious. ‘It’s OK, man, I get it. I’m in. I’ll have a word with the others. If coding’s your problem, Sarah’s your answer.’
‘Thanks, mate. Appreciate it.’ The two men sit in silence for a moment. ‘There’s just one other small thing I’m worried about.’
‘Alex?’ Ian shouts out from the far end of the room.
‘Speak of the devil,’ Alex says wryly.
‘How’s it all coming along?’ Ian asks, slapping him on the shoulder with his usual half-aggressive fake friendliness. ‘With all that time you’re taking off, must be almost done by now.’
Alex shrugs off the hand. ‘It’s a big job, Ian. I’m actually on my way out.’
‘Out. Out where?’
‘I’m going back to the hospital. I need a bit more information for the, ah, game.’
‘That’s the attitude, boy, good work. So, it’s looking good?’
‘Yeah, it’s good, Ian. I might need to borrow some camera equipment; I need to shoot some live scenes to help make it work. Wouldn’t mind if I could borrow Steve at some point too?’
‘Yeah, sure, take what you need, hope you’re not making a miniseries though,’ Ian says, laughing at his own joke.
‘Not a series Ian, just a feature,’ Alex laughs back at him before turning to Steve, who shakes his head, knowing now what Alex is planning.
As Alex walks away, Ian calls out to him.
‘Just let me know when you’re done, I’ve given your current assignment to Bronwyn to finish, she’ll probably do a better job than you would have anyway.’
‘See you, Ian,’ Alex calls out as he leaves, hearing the usual encouragement Ian gives to his colleagues yelled out:
‘Now get back to work the lot of you.’
Chapter 12
Back on the ward, Alex enters Jesse and Amy’s room to find it empty. He wonders if Jesse is with Kelly and is surprised at how the thought of finding the two of them together pleases him. He’s hovering outside, not sure what to do, when Sandy walks past, does a double take, and stops. ‘You came back then?’ she states with a grin.
He shrugs. ‘I said I would.’ He clears his throat. ‘Do you know where Jesse is?’
Sandy checks her watch. ‘She should be just about finished with treatment. Are you in a rush?’
Alex doesn’t quite know how to answer this – the fact is, he wants to get on with the project, but he needs to chat a little more with Jesse before he can. ‘Sort of,’ is all he can manage. ‘I just need a bit more background before the next stage.’
Sandy nods. ‘Well, then, why don’t you wait in her room while I see if I can track her down? I’ll be back shortly.’
Alex steps into the room, feeling uncomfortable. He’s not sure he should be here really, and is about to head back out, to wait outside, when he’s drawn to the family photo on Jesse’s bedside table. Picking it up, he stares at the faces of a family. A family bound to each other physically and emotionally. This photo was taken when Jesse had a head of beautiful hair. He stares at the photo for a long time, so caught up that he doesn’t hear Jesse enter the room, wheeled in by an orderly.
‘Have you got any photos of your family I can see?’ Jesse asks, startling him as she steps out of the wheelchair, grasping her IV pole, and standing beside Alex. He quickly replaces the photo before turning to face Jesse, putting on a fake smile, shaking his head no.
‘You should carry a photo of your family with you.’
Jesse steps closer to the bedside table and studies the photo he has just replaced.
‘When I’m not feeling so good I look at them and know they love me and that I must be strong for them.’
Alex tries to read her face as he watches her, looking so lovingly at her family. ‘Aren’t they meant to be strong for you?’
‘That’s not the way I see it.’
Jesse climbs onto her bed, drawing her knees up under her chin.
‘What’s wrong?’ Alex asks as he pulls up the chair and sits beside the bed.
‘There’s something I should probably tell you about my family.’
Alex fiddles with the bag in his lap, giving Jesse the time to decide what she will say.
‘My parents are separated; they don’t live together anymore. Sam and I, well, when I’m not in here, we live with Mum, but we still see Dad a lot.’
Alex nods. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘My dad has trouble with me being sick. He just can’t deal with it, and he and Mum were fighting all the time, so he moved out.’
‘That’s rough.’
‘Do you want to know what they were fighting about?’
‘I presume it was about you.’
‘Yeah. It was all sorts of things, really. Like, my dad was spending all his time researching cures in other countries, contacting hospitals here, there and everywhere. Once, he even flew to Cyprus because they had a hospital that claimed it could cure me.’
‘And your mum?’
‘She got several opinions, of course, but they were all saying the same thing.’
‘What about you, what did you want?’
‘You know, you’re the first person to ask me that. It was like they were the parents, they knew what was best for me even if they couldn’t agree.’
‘So would you—’
‘Have liked to go to another country? I never really thought about it as I wasn’t asked, I just overheard all the fighting. And I couldn’t do that to Sam, drag him away from his school and friends. I spoke to Sandy and Christine and asked them what they thought was best.’
‘What did they say?’
‘They showed me the other countries’ data relevant to my situation, and no one had treatment better than what they were giving me here.’
‘So, you stayed here and your dad doesn’t like it?’
‘It was more that he couldn’t accept that Mum wouldn’t even try, but she was trying, trying to make these past two years as easy on me as she could. My mum’s not a quitter.’
‘I bet you take after her.’
‘I hope so. I didn’t really want to be around strangers. At least here there’s Amy, Ryan and Luke.’
‘I’m sorry, Jesse.’
‘You already said that.’
‘Would you like me to come back when you’re feeling better?’
Before Jesse can answer they are interrupted by the sound of her name being called out as a young boy runs into the room, a woman right behind him. Alex recognises them from the photos. Sam and Jesse’s mum, Mandy. Sam stops stock still when he sees Alex, a look of apprehension on his face.
‘Hey, Sammy, come and give me a hug,’ Jesse says to her brother. ‘There’s someone here I want you to meet.’
Walking slowly to the bed, his eyes never leaving Alex, Sam hops up and is enveloped in a hug by his big sister.
‘Is this him?’ he asks Jesse cautiously.
Alex stands as Mandy walks towards him, her hand outstretched.
‘Hello, you must be Alex. I’m Mandy, Jesse’s mum, and this is Sam.’
Alex takes Mandy’s hand and gently shakes it, not knowing what to say.
‘This is Alex,’ Jesse proudly says.
‘It’s a pleasure to meet you, Alex,’ Mandy says with genuine warmth.
‘Nice meeting you too, Mrs—’
‘Mandy is fine.’
‘Thank you, Mandy.’ Alex turns to Sam who hasn’t stopped looking at him. He holds out his hand. ‘Hi, Sam.’
Sam shakes Alex’s hand while Mandy is making herself comfortable on Jesse’s bed. She hugs Jesse tightly, kissing her on both cheeks, then hugging her some more.
‘How are you, my darling?’ she finally asks. ‘I’ve just spoken with Sandy and Dr Christine; they said you tolerated the chemo really well today. How are you feeling?’
‘I’m fine, Mum, but you have to let me go so we can talk to Alex.’
With her arm still around Jesse, Mandy turns to Alex.
‘I want you to know how grateful I … I mean, we, are for your making Jesse’s wish come true. It’s so important—’
‘Mum, he’s not doing it on his own, he’s working with me, we are doing it together.’
Mandy gives Alex a conspiratorial look, as if to say, ‘That’s teenagers for you!’ but Alex knows she’s not criticising her daughter. She just seems to want to be beside her, hug her, comfort her. Sam is acting the same way. Alex is not used to such overt displays of affection, though he recognises that these are special circumstances.
‘Well, we won’t interrupt you any longer, we just stopped by on our way to Sam’s tennis lesson. We’ll be back later. Will you still be here, Alex?’
‘Yes, he will, he needs to meet all of you. All my family,’ Jesse answers firmly for Alex.
The look of concern on Mandy’s face doesn’t go unnoticed by Alex. But with one final hug, Mandy takes Sam’s hand and helps him down from the bed. Then, calling out goodbye, they leave. Sam hasn’t said a word.
‘Did my mum make you feel uncomfortable? I mean, you looked uncomfortable.’
‘I don’t know what you mean,’ Alex says, his tone defensive again.
‘Didn’t you like your mum hugging you?’
‘Which one?’ Alex says bluntly.
‘Huh?’
Looking down at his lap, Alex says, ‘I had about ten “mothers”.’ He looks up into Jesse’s face. ‘My mum died when I was seven. I hardly remember her.’ He immediately regrets having been so honest.
Jesse looks down, begins fiddling with a blanket. ‘And what about your dad?’ she asks softly.
‘Never knew him,’ Alex says. ‘But hey, that’s all ancient history. I just know you’re very lucky.’
Amy enters the room and sees Jesse and Alex, both with their heads down. ‘Somebody died?’ Amy asks with a gleam in her eye.
Jesse begins to laugh. Alex is shocked when Amy walks up to him and pokes him in the side.
‘Nope, not dead, but not exactly full of life. How’s the wish coming along?’
‘We keep getting interrupted,’ Jesse says still laughing.
‘Well, I’ll put a stop to that,’ Amy says, climbing up on the bed to sit cross-legged opposite Jesse. The two girls immediately carry on as the fun-loving teenagers they are. Alex cannot fathom the dramatic emotional changes around him and walks back to the pinboard, focusing on the photo with Jesse and her father listening to music through shared headphones. He turns back to the girls.
