Jordy army, p.20
Jordyn's Army, page 20
“Braxton, the guy you met last time you visited, is the dad.” I gulp when a sob bursts free. “I’m so sorry, Dad. I’m so sorry.”
I bury my face in his chest, soaking his t-shirt with my tears. I can’t hear anything over the sound of my own cries and shattering future. I’m not sure when it happens, but it does. His strong, steady palm covers the side of my face as he begins rocking me back and forth. It means more than anything he could say. I relax into him, letting it all go.
I had no idea how much it was hurting me to keep this secret from him. It has ruined me, making me second guess everything about myself. Now that it’s gone, I feel free, broken, put together, and exhausted.
“I’m sorry, Dad,” I repeat again.
He doesn’t stop rocking or holding me. “No need to be sorry, Annie. No need.”
Mom rubs my back while Dad continues.
“I’ve told you a thousand times that I’d love you no matter what and this doesn’t change a damn thing. I’ve got you and always will.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. “I can’t look at you. I don’t want to see the disappointment.”
“Nonsense.”
Before I know it he has me pried away from his chest and clutching my cheeks. He waits until I open my eyes.
“Does this look like disappointment to you?” he asks.
It’s the furthest thing from disappointment. He has tears of his own welling up in his eyes, but it’s the smile on his face that tells another story.
“It has been eating me alive the last few days because I knew something was off with you. Scared the shit out of me. I thought the worst.”
“The worst?” I ask, wiggling my nose so he’d loosen his grip on my cheeks.
“Yeah, you know, drugs, crime, online betting. Hell, I nearly drove myself crazy.”
“Being pregnant wasn’t on that list?”
“Nope.” He shakes his head. “Not gonna lie, it’s going to be one of the toughest jobs of your life but also the best ever. How could I be disappointed in you for that?”
I shrug and he lets go of my cheeks. I fall back onto his chest. “I’m scared, confused, and exhausted. I’m just so…I don’t know.”
“I get it, kid. I so get it. I’ve been in your shoes before. The only thing you can do is take it one day at a time.”
I nod.
“Babe.” He peers over my head. “Did you just find out and break her cellphone?”
There’s confusion in his question. I giggle at it.
“No! I was talking to Annie and Br-”
I sit up with confidence. “No, I don’t want to hear his name again. This is my story and he doesn’t get to ruin it. You can tell Dad later.”
We spend the next hour talking about everything and nothing. Mom fills us in on the plans for Corn Days, the annual celebration in town.
“Guys, I hate to be the party pooper, but I’m exhausted.”
They both grumble but finally concede, each hugging and kissing me.
“Hey, can we keep this between us just for a little longer?” I ask.
“Of course.” Dad kisses the top of my head.
“I’m going to warn you, though, Lacey is like a living, breathing pregnancy detector, so there’s that,” Mom adds.
“I’ll take my chances.”
Dad wraps his arm around mom’s waist hugging her to his side. She melts into him on instinct. He stops in front of the full-body mirror by my door. He looks from side to side then adjusts the ballcap on top of his head.
“I’m going to make one sexy ass grandpa.”
5
The sun shining in the room finally wakes me up. I haven’t slept this good in months. There are no phantom pains and my mind and soul are finally at ease after relentless self-torture. I roll over to check the time and realize I can’t because my phone is in pieces.
A picture propped on my nightstand captures my attention. I grab and smile wide when I see it and the note attached to it.
My Sweet Girl,
You were out last night when I brought this to you, so I’m writing this. In life, you’ll find there are ups and downs and detours when you least expect them. If you let the detour haunt you and beat yourself up for it, then you lose.
Accept what’s facing you and decide how to make the best of it. Mom told me how worried and upset you were that I was going to be disappointed. I can’t lie and write that this is what I wanted for you. Because it’s not. I wanted you to live out your college years and then settle down, but the fact is you’re still my daughter and I love the hell out of you. I could never be disappointed in you. End of.
This picture is my all-time favorite. It’s right after I swerved on the road facing the biggest detour of my life. The day you were born. I can’t remember who snapped this picture, but it shows and tells all. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. The moment you were put in my arms my life changed forever. Keep this. Hold it close and dig deep when you’re scared. And always know I’m in your corner and here for you no matter what.
Love,
Dad
The tears begin streaming and I’m not even out of bed yet. This picture is everything. The note was a bonus, but I didn’t even need it because the photo shows it all. Dad looks so young, clueless, and absolutely in love, studying me in his arms. It’s all you need—love and a little faith. And that will be my new motto that I thrive, repeat, and live on.
“Ten minutes and we are on the road.” Mom opens the door and hollers.
“Shit.” I sit up and toss my feet over the bed. “Give me at least twenty-five.”
“Chop, chop.” She claps her hands. “The parade judges will be sitting right in front of The Shop. I need to get my booths set up and the food stand going.”
“I’m going. I’m going.” I wipe the sleep from my eyes.
Mom grumbles something to herself as she walks away from the door. She gets like this every time there’s some big annual celebration in town or an event at The Shop. She may love us kids and my dad like no other, but this town is her heart and soul. It’s the place where she healed, grew, and thrived. It will always be her first love.
I hustle through a shower and decide to tie my damp hair up in a messy bun, forgetting make-up. Cut-off shorts, a black tank, and my white Chucks will do. Curiosity gets the best of me as I begin to walk out of my room. I grab my Macbook and fire it up, strumming the top of my dresser, waiting for it to come to life.
It all happens at the same time. The screen glows bright and the notifications flow in. I tap on the text messenger app, bite on my bottom lip and dive in. And now I know Mom wasn’t overreacting last night.
Braxton: Thanks for last night, baby. I’m missing you tonight.
A dick picture follows.
Braxton: Can’t wait until you get off work. I have something for you.
I don’t bother reading what Mom wrote. I don’t need to. The cheating son of a bitch. My roommates warned me about this. They couldn’t stand him, but I was in love, or thought so. I didn’t think much heartbreak could come my way, but it does. It’s not for me this time. It’s for the innocent baby growing inside of me. Guilt could consume me if I allowed it. I’m no fortune teller, but I know he wants nothing to do with us.
Me: You’ve made your intentions crystal clear, Braxton. I won’t ask anything of you or continue to reach out to you. I sure thought you were a different man. I was so very wrong.
And with that, I shut the lid on the Macbook and walk away. I want nothing more than to curl up in my bed and sleep away the rest of the day, avoiding my reality. It’s not an option today, so with my chin held high I walk downstairs to find Mom, Lacey, and Willow waiting at the table for me. All three of them glance over at me at the same time. With these strong women at my side, I crack wide open.
I clear my throat and let it all out. “I’m pregnant. Braxton, my boyfriend of over a year, is a cheating son of a bitch who sent me a dick pic last night meant for another woman. He has ignored me being pregnant. This is me.”
I throw my arms out wide, exposing all of me. Tears sting and spill over and I’m wrapped by all of them in a matter of seconds. No words are spoken as they embrace me, sharing their love and support. My situation isn’t perfect, but it is what it is and now speaking the final part out loud took a one-ton boulder off my shoulders.
The kitchen door slams and we all glance over to it. Dad walks in and freezes when he sees the whole situation. He doesn’t say a word, walking over to the cabinet, reaching in and pulling something out. He sets his phone on the iPhone speaker dock. Stuck Like Glue by Sugarland thumps throughout the kitchen and that’s when I see the container of sprinkles in Dad’s hands. So, so many childhood memories flow back in. Dad always had sprinkles, good music, and his dance moves on shitty days. It was magic brightening any dark day. Today isn’t any different.
“Milly, my daddy will cook you mac n’ cheese whenever you want it. When you are having a really bad day, Daddy even sprinkles magic dust on your mac n’ cheese to take away all your sadness. He does it for me all the time.”
I give Dad a serious look and say, “Daddy, you better get those special sprinkles.”
Dad makes his way across the kitchen and comes back with a bottle of sprinkles. He opens the lid, then does a funny little dance, wriggling his hips and spinning around, while sprinkling my and Milly’s mac n’ cheese at the same time. He even tosses some over his shoulder, spraying us with sprinkles. That’s my favorite part. Daddy always makes my really bad, bad days great ones.
“You now have magical mac n’ cheese! Enjoy!” Dad says and then bends over, kisses my forehead first then Milly’s. Today is the best day ever.
“Twust me, it works, Milly!” I place a finger on my lips. “Don’t tell anyone, it’s magic.”
Sprinkles spray in the air over his shoulder toward us girls as he busts out his moves. His hips sway and head bops. He reaches out, grabs my hand and tugs me with him, raining sprinkles down over us as he dances me around the kitchen. Laughter rings out with nothing but love and joy surrounding me. And this is exactly how I’m going to make it through everything ahead of me.
6
Pork sandwiches have sold out, the parade is long over, and the sun tingles my skin. I’m exhausted. Hell, I feel like I’ve been saying that every hour lately, but this exhaustion is good in a great way.
“Where do you want this?” Weston rounds the corner of The Shop with a large box of Solo cups in his bulging arms.
“Um—” I cross my arms. “Mom said to put everything we didn’t use back in the storage room.
“Got it.” He nods.
Everyone has a weakness and Weston was always mine. The way my body is reacting, it seems he still might be. His black trucker hat sits backward on his head, that white t-shirt hugs his chest, and don’t even get me started me on his worn blue jeans.
I follow with him with the last box of bows and tutus that were for sale during the parade. Everyone has now made their way down to the pond where the dance and more vendors are set up. This community takes corn very seriously. It’s our livelihood and the main commercial product of our community. This celebration happens the same weekend every summer and has for years.
Weston turns around when I enter the storage room. “You going down to the lake?”
“Yeah.” I nod, setting the box on a shelf. “Been wanting a damn footlong corndog all day.”
It slips before I realize it. We loved getting those back in high school. So many damn memories with Weston. Leaving my hometown was the hardest decision of my life. Weston was the one to push me, let me go. I went through so many emotions during that time from hate to appreciation. He couldn’t go with me even though it was always the plan. He stayed home and took care of his sick mom and let me go live my dreams.
“Yeah, me too.” He winks. “Want some company?”
I shrug. “Yeah, I do.”
We walk down the sidewalk toward the lake, shoulder to shoulder but not touching. It takes restraint because it’s the only thing I want to do.
“How’s life, Weston?” I ask.
“Not bad. Momma is having a good month and working for your dad keeps me pretty damn busy.”
“That’s good,” I reply, not knowing what to say.
“How about you?” he asks.
I let out a loud breath, knowing the truth will eventually come out so I tell him now. If I’ve discovered one thing over the last few days, it’s that holding in secrets is unhealthy and a mindfuck. “I’m not going back to school. Still have to break that one to my parents.”
“Really?” He stops and turns to me.
I glance down at my Chucks and twist my fingers before looking back up into his piercing blue eyes. “You know I hurt my knee and had to sit out, right?”
He nods.
“Yeah, well, and I’m pregnant.”
He doesn’t react, not even in the slightest. Not a flinch or even an eye blink, so I continue.
“Braxton, the dad, well he’s a piece of shit, so here I am.”
He doesn’t say a word, but this time his jaw does clench and his knuckles grow white.
“So, yeah, broke the news to Dad and Mom and now I’m just trying to find my place in life.”
He scrubs a hand over his hand. “Damn, Tink, you’ve been busy.”
I shake my head at the old nickname and then find myself smiling. Weston always called me Tink because I’d work with him on the farm or projects, and he said all I did was tinker around, not getting much work accomplished. He was right. I just wanted to be by his side.
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through,” he adds.
“Yeah, it’s a pretty big shit storm I’ve caused.”
“Naw.” He shakes his head then shocks me by lacing his fingers in mine until he has me. Now, this is home. “I got you. We all got you.”
We walk the rest of the way to the lake in silence. We enjoy corn dogs, kettle corn, and fresh lemonade, catching up on the fun stuff of our lives and reliving old memories. Weston holds my hand through most of it. When my family sees us, they don’t blink or make a big deal out of it. It’s as if it’s a natural thing for us to be together. And it really is. I’m not saying we are riding off in the sunset with wedding rings and all that jazz, but our souls were meant to be.
The dance under the blanket of stars has started. Kids and couples of all ages fill the wooden dance floor. Dad requests a song and I know exactly what it is. It’s the first one he and mom ever danced to. It’s now been coined the “pirate dance.” Odd, I know, but it happened on Halloween and that was his costume.
Somebody Like You by Keith Urban begins to play. Weston doesn’t ask me to dance with words. He leads me out on the dance floor, wrapping his strong and loving arms around me. I lay my cheek on his chest, inhaling his woodsy, sweet scent. I bring a hand to his strong jawline peppered with stubble and live each second of the dance.
It’s over all too shortly. We dance to the next few songs until his phone goes off in his pocket. I take a step back letting him take the call. My dad grabs me for the next dance, and I let him swing me around the floor with a grin plastered on my face and my heart soaring.
He grabs Rose next and I go to find Weston. I watch as he nods, listening to whoever is on the other line while tucking a hand deep down in his pocket before hanging up.
“Hey, everything all right?” I ask.
He nods, leans down, and presses a sweet kiss to my forehead. “Mom’s nurse has to leave early tonight, so I gotta go.”
“Okay.” I nod, understanding the need but completely disappointed.
“Annie.” He drops his forehead to mine.
“Yeah.”
He closes his eyes, remaining quiet for a few beats. “I’m not letting you go this time.”
“Okay,” I whisper.
He places one more kiss before walking away. I can’t tell you what it is or how I know, but this time is ours. Coming home has never been so sweet and such a perfect time.
I spend another hour dancing and hanging out with my family before I announce I’m ready to go home. Mac walks me back to The Shop to get my truck. He makes sure I’m in and the truck starts before leaving. A flash of pink catches my attention and when I turn, I see a dozen baby pink roses on my passenger seat. I grab the folded note on them.
Tink,
I always bought you a dozen roses at Corn Days from old man Frank. I’ve missed doing that these last couple of years. Just having you back around and in my life is something I’ll always cherish. I’ll always be here for you in any way you’ll have me.
Love,
W
PS—I never stopped loving you.
I clutch the paper with his blocky script scrawled on it. There’s so much unknown facing me, but the one certainty may just get me through it. Weston was so much more than my first love. He was my best friend and that’s exactly what I need right now. A best friend. The rest will just be colorful sprinkles on top of an iced cake.
The End For Now!
About HJ Bellus
Thank you for reading and an even bigger thank you for supporting this anthology. What an amazing project! If you enjoyed this story and haven’t checked out CREE, TRIPP, and MILES FROM me they are available on Amazon!
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Roses for Rachel
Sam JD Hunt
1
I swear Rachel woke me up that fateful summer morning with these words: “Wake up, Jonah, it’s time to live.”
“It’s all in your foggy, hungover head,” I scolded myself, taking a big whiff of stale desert air.
Sometimes life comes full circle, and there I was. Not by choice, that’s for damn sure, but due to life kicking me in the gut, I was once more stationed at Nellis Air Force Base in “fabulous” Las Vegas, Nevada.
