‘Lucy—what you are asking me to do is a huge undertaking on my part. The last thing I want is for you to hate me afterwards should you have any regrets.’

  ‘I could never hate you, Charles—and I think I’m perfectly capable of deciding what I want.’

  ‘At this moment, perhaps. But not when I leave Kassam—when I leave you and move on.’

  ‘I’m not asking for tomorrow,’ she murmured. ‘I told you—no commitments. All I’m asking for is tonight. Help me move on from the past.’

  Seeing the way she was looking at him—the softness in her eyes—he knew he should leave now, tell her no, but instead, taking her face between the palms of his hands he lowered his head and kissed her lips. ‘Then that is what you will have,’ he murmured against her mouth. ‘Tonight.’

  His arms went round her with infinite care, bringing her in close contact with his lean, hard frame, savouring the warmth of her body against his. His mouth came down on hers. Her lips parted freely and, with that instant response from her, the taste of her, Charles knew there was no turning back.

  Sliding his fingers through her hair, revelling in the silken feel of it, he kissed her long and deeply. Her voluptuous bloom of womanhood evoked in him a strong stirring of desire. He could not believe how much he wanted her, that the body his own had so fiercely craved from the moment he had first laid eyes on her was in his arms.

  Sensitive to her vulnerability, he knew that if he was to dispel the memory of the terrible thing that had been done to her, then he had to take it slowly, to be patient, to wait until she was ready. He tore his lips from hers and buried his head in the curve of her neck, his hands sliding down to her slender waist and drawing her close. His fingers caressed the small of her back, pressing her body closer still.

  Scooping her up into his arms, he carried her to the bed, settling her on the cool covers. With her hair spread about her in lustrous waves, he had never seen her look lovelier. He looked down at her face. ‘Is this what you want, Lucy? Are you sure?’

  She nodded, taking his hand and placing her lips on his open palm. ‘I do—more than anything. Just the two of us, here, in this room.’

  He smiled. ‘Two lonely people finding solace in each other arms.’

  ‘I would like to think it is more than that,’ she murmured, losing herself in those blue eyes gazing down at her, now hazy with desire.

  Slowly Charles’s hand slipped about her waist as he drew her body against his and kissed her gently, amazed and intrigued by the mixture of innocence, boldness and fear which fired this woman. He would like to make her body sing before they were done, to shatter her demureness and reserve and lay bare the woman of passion.

  He kissed her again and again, lost in the heady beauty of her. By God, she was lovely, and he wanted her with a fierceness that took his breath away. An uncontrollable compulsion to make love to her overwhelmed him and he kissed her until she was moaning and writhing in his arms and desire was pouring through him like hot tidal waves, but he had to contain himself, to be patient, to wait until she was ready.

  Slowly he shoved aside her robe, exposing the softness, the curves of her naked body. He bent his head, again covering her mouth with his, his hand gently caressing her neck. Her eyes darkened and she tried to cover her breasts with her arms, Charles gently caught her hands and pulled them away. He knew he must be gentle lest her fear destroyed the moment.

  ‘No, Lucy. Open your eyes and look at me.’ Slowly, she met his gaze and his heart sank on seeing the apprehension and fear in their dark depths. Leaning up on his elbow, reaching out he tenderly smoothed the wayward strands of hair from her face. Pride surged through him at her courage. The beautiful, brave young woman was prepared to give herself to him, and him alone. He wanted to make up to her all that she had suffered in the past, when her virginity had been taken with brutal swiftness.

  ‘I don’t know what you’re thinking,’ he said softly, ‘but you look terrified. Don’t be afraid. I’m not going to hurt you, I promise,’ he said reassuringly. ‘I want to please you.’

  Lucy swallowed, lowering her hands, but she continued to clasp the edges of the robe to her body. He wondered if she was going to change her mind. He wanted her, wanted to continue kissing those soft lips, to span that invitingly narrow waist with his hands and draw her hips beneath him. The fierceness of his wanting startled him, but he would not force her. Hearing her faint inhalation, he held back, looking down at her.

  ‘What’s wrong, Lucy? Keep your robe on if you like. But if this is not what you want, then it is not too late. We can stop now.’

  ‘No—don’t stop, it’s just—I—I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.’

  ‘Then I’ll show you—slowly—every step of the way. Any time you want me to stop, just say the words and we will go no further. You have my word.’

  His hands stroked downwards, over the curve of her hip, and then upwards along the velvet softness of her inner thighs. She gasped, reflexively tensing her muscles and clamping her legs together. Once more, Charles stopped what he was doing.

  ‘Lucy,’ he said huskily. ‘You don’t have to do this.’

  * * *

  Above her, Lucy could see his face was tense, his eyes dark with passion, yet there was so much tenderness in their depths that her heart ached. ‘Yes,’ she murmured, ‘I do.’ The pull of his gaze was too strong for her to resist. It was as though he were looking into the very depths of her heart and soul. It was as if he knew her fear that twisted within her chest, as if she were so transparent, he could see all she had kept hidden laid bare. She felt the touch of his empathy like healing fingers soothing her apprehension like a balm.

  Like a celestial being she raised her arms and wrapped them about his neck. Charles gathered her to him in reverence. Her fear was like a cutting edge and yet sublime, and when it left her and she felt the warmth of his lips, she was wide open in a flood of wondrous new emotions.

  He took her soft lips she was offering in a long, sweet kiss that was almost beyond bearing, then, releasing her, he divested himself of his clothes and slipped his naked body on to the bed beside her.

  Tentatively she moved her fingers over the furring of dark hair on his chest and felt the slight increase in the steady thudding of his heart. Very slowly he began to kiss her, long and lingeringly, with all the aching tenderness in his heart and she, after a few moments of tense passivity, began to kiss him back. Her slender arms slid up his chest and went around his neck and she pressed herself to the full length of his hard, unyielding contours.

  Charles groaned, his mouth opening passionately over hers. Gently moving her robe aside, his hand slid to her midriff, then moved upwards, cupping the ripeness of her breast. She trembled beneath his touch, but instead of pulling away, as Charles expected her to do, the stiffness flowed out of her body and she relaxed, surrendering to his gentle, insistent persuasion.

  She moved closer to him, fitting her body against his, her heartbeat increasing with a mixture of pulsing pleasure and fear when she felt the demanding heat of his maleness pressing against her thigh. Instead of pulling away, she gave herself up to his caresses until there was no more fear, only an exquisite, aching need to have him inside her. His hand continued to caress her, glorying in the softness of her flesh, and when he shifted her on to her back and leaned over her, what Lucy was feeling was drugging, delirious and quite wonderful.

  She looked up at him, her eyes enormous and unblinking in her small, flushed face, and her mouth was rosy, as though waiting for further instructions on how to proceed, as if she wanted to take a more active part in what was slowly becoming a pleasant pastime, but was not sure how to go about it. It was as though what Charles was doing to her unlocked her heart.

  She could sense the need in him, the need he had of her and her body, and she gloried in it, but when his fingers reached that part of her that was totally private, she stiffened and bit her lip, briefly recalling he was not the first to touch her like this. Even though she could not remember what had happened to her at that time, she doubted that other man had treated her as lovingly and gently as Charles was doing. Immediately she thrust the unpleasant thoughts away and concentrated on what he was doing. She had to. She owed this to herself and would not let what that monster had done to her take away her capacity for loving.

  The sensations Charles was arousing in her were utterly erotic, burning her flesh to a compelling, melting, quivering need, to go on until the very core of her ignited and inflamed every part of her body. Nothing else in the world mattered. They were completely absorbed with each other.

  Leaning on his forearms, Charles gazed down at her lovely face. ‘I want you, Lucy,’ he whispered against her parted lips, his voice hoarse with tenderness. ‘I want you very badly. Are you ready for this?’

  Lucy nodded. ‘Yes,’ she whispered. ‘Please—don’t stop now.’

  A fierce exhilaration swept through her as he slowly, tenderly entered her, filling every vein with liquid fire. She wrapped her arms around him, lost in incoherent yearnings. With his lips devouring hers, more eloquent, more demanding than before, he moved inside her, his eyes never leaving her face.

  Some essential part of her that Lucy had not been aware of until now awoke and she ceased to think at all. She felt something unfold inside her, spreading and filling her with warmth, with colour and light and reaching every nerve in her body, when suddenly a shudder rocked him and he let out a gasp as he thrust against her one last time.

  A shimmering ecstasy pierced Lucy’s entire body, sending sparks of pleasure curling through her that increased until they became a flame inside her and they lay together in sweet oblivion.

  They lay for a long time, not speaking, reluctant to shatter the tranquillity and completeness of what they had found with one another during this magical night. After a moment when their bodies ceased to tremble, with an overpowering wave of tenderness, Charles rolled on to his side, taking her with him, cradling her in his arms, reluctant to let go of her. With her face resting in the curve of his jaw, Lucy experienced a joyous contentment, a languorous peace—and exultation, that the terrible thing that had been done to her had not taken away her capacity for loving.

  ‘Are you all right, Lucy?’

  Hearing the concern in his voice, Lucy felt an overpowering wave of tenderness wash over her. ‘Yes—at least—I think so.’

  ‘What are you thinking?’

  ‘That now I am indeed a fallen woman—and I feel no shame, no regrets, just an incredible joy that has opened like a flower inside me—and I have you to thank for the way I feel now and I shall be forever grateful. For the first time since...’ She faltered. ‘I won’t speak of that. I have no wish to tarnish the exquisite joy I feel now with the past. I feel vibrant, alive, and I want nothing more than for this moment to go on for ever—even though I know it must soon end.’ Closing her eyes, she pressed her cheek against his chest and sighed, listening to his heartbeat.

  ‘It must—when the time comes for you to return to Nandra.’

  ‘Don’t,’ she whispered. ‘Don’t say it, Charles—not now. We’ll deal with that when the time comes.’ She nestled closer to him. She would allow nothing to steal the joy, the quiet glow of absolute bliss, which was with her now.

  The room had become a magical place, their own private heaven. Sighing now, she placed tantalising little kisses on his chest, their naked bodies fitting together in sweet perfection. Lucy could smell him now she had her senses back, smell his skin, the scent of his cologne and a musky odour she could not identify, not an unpleasant odour—an odour of sensuality, one she knew she would always associate with this moment. She heard him sigh with contentment.

  ‘You were a delight, Lucy. Something truly special.’

  ‘And I am delighted to hear it,’ she murmured.

  ‘Do you realise how desirable you are?’

  ‘Am I?’ she whispered curiously. ‘I’m amazed you can say that, for I never thought you felt anything for me but irritation—at least that’s the impression you gave me when we first met.’

  He chuckled softly. ‘Was I that bad? I suppose you were irritating at times—and I was in a great deal of pain, don’t forget,’ he teased, tightening his hold on her.

  ‘There you are. I was right.’

  ‘Call it self-defence.’

  Laughing delightedly, she wriggled away from him and stretched her body for him to inspect. ‘I don’t think I care for that remark. I think I’m going to have to punish you.’

  ‘And how do you intend to do that?’ he asked, devouring her with his eyes, his fingers tweaking a lock of her hair.

  ‘By insisting that you make love to me again.’

  ‘You call that punishment? I call it pleasure.’

  And to prove his point, leaning over her he took her hands and held them above her while he carefully inspected her breasts, her waist, the curve of her hips. He knew her now, every part of her, knowing the true nature of her.

  His senses were alive to every inch of her form languorously stretched out before him and, desire pouring like boiling lava through his veins, he kissed and nuzzled and caressed her until she felt the heat return to the pit of her belly. She sighed with absolute delight as he took her again with a lovely languor, consumed in a passion infinitely more powerful than before.

  Afterwards, Lucy felt sleepy with contentment and her eyes fluttered closed. For a long time, she had been like a captive bird and now Charles had opened the cage and let her fly free.

  * * *

  The golden glow of the night washed over them as they lay clasped together, their moist skin cooling in the night air. They were breathing heavily as they waited for the slow and powerful beating of their hearts that follows climax to return to normal and to preserve the moment of their union a moment longer, as though afraid to disturb their fragile link by moving.

  Gazing at the incredibly lovely young woman resting in the crook of his arm, her satiated body aglow from the force of her passion, Charles felt strangely humble and possessive. The enchanting temptress who had yielded to him without reservation, who had writhed beneath him as he had made love to her, was gentleness and goodness personified. He revelled in the sweetness of her as he stroked her spine, trying not to think and to hold on to the fading euphoria. He had been surprisingly enchanted with her and her body’s responses to his own, and recognised the needs of the flesh without the complications of the heart.

  Lucy asked for no more of him than he did of her. So why did it bother him that they were to go their separate ways? The answer was a mystery. He admired her tenacity and resolve. She had the ability to amuse him and he liked being with her. She was also honest and kept her word, which was somewhat rare in the women he had known previously. She was exciting to be with and he enjoyed her company, but it was time to put a stop to it before she began to expect more of him than he was prepared to give.

  Besides, she was not free. She was still caught up in a web from which she could not escape—a web which the man she had been betrothed to and the man who had ruined her had woven round her. She could lead a happy and dignified life—but always her thoughts would turn to Johnathan. For the first time in his life Charles experienced a real, bitter jealousy. It was a cruel emotion; one he was not accustomed to.

  * * *

  With the dawn came the reminder that he had promised to accompany the Rajah on another hunt. Lucy wasn’t aware when he reluctantly slipped away from her, kissing her bare shoulder before pulling on his clothes and leaving her to slumber.

  * * *

  When Lucy awoke, little remained of the girl who had been a victim of a rapist. She was a creature of the past. The mysterious alchemy of her inner self, mixed with elements inside Charles, had worked the miracle of transformation. The change in her was clear, and for the first time in years she felt at peace with herself.

  A great burden had been lifted from her and she felt so happy it was like walking on air. It was as if she was waking up after a long dark sleep and what her soul had craved for the past seven years. She realised that she had turned a corner in coming to terms with the events of what had been done to her and it was Charles that had helped her to do that.

  Her mind was filled with images of Charles and she held the memory of their loving as it wrapped itself about her like a warm blanket. Her mind and her very soul had been possessed by that perfect body, a body without flaw. It was no use hiding from the fact that they had been attracted to each other from the beginning, despite her initial show of indifference, but she must not mistake the kindness and tenderness he had shown her for something deeper.

  Charles had the infuriating ability to pluck at the worst of her nature, to see what no man had ever seen before. But, she thought, on a warm tide of feelings, he also had the ability to tease, to cajole, to delight her senses in a way no other man had succeeded in doing before. He had created yearnings inside her she was a stranger to, yearnings she wanted to satisfy, and only Charles could do that.

  Yet no matter how intense her feelings were for Charles, how constant, dominating her every thought, the burden of guilt she still carried in her heart over Johnathan’s death, that he would still be alive if not for her, continued to plague her and she felt undeserving of any kind of happiness.

  Throwing back the shutters, she noticed the flush of rose and apricot in the sky, along with a tinge of lilac and orange. A flock of small birds came and settled in the trees. She glanced at the sun rising behind the low hills, now the colour of ochre and gold. It enchanted her. It seemed as if they were living things, changing colour depending on the sun and the time of day. This was the colour of India in all its magical glory, she thought.

 

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