Sweet sin, p.12
Sweet Sin, page 12
Leif and Kelly are married. Husband and wife.
What am I to Falcon? Can I go to him? Try to soothe him?
Does he even want me to?
I could say so many things.
He spent the last eight years behind bars, with no one to comfort him when he needed it.
Yet here I am. I’ve known him for less than ten days, and I’m living in his house.
I look up to meet his gaze, and I find him staring at me.
It’s almost a glare, but not one with any malice in it.
No, it’s filled with something else. He’s angry, yes, but not at me. Not at Leif any longer.
At the situation?
I’m not sure.
I’ve never seen this look on a man before.
Not even on Miles McAllister’s face.
I want to ask him what’s wrong, what I can do to help…
But something stops me.
Because looking at him right now—with that almost cruel and menacing look upon his face—I’m not sure anyone is safe here.
Anyone except me.
Something in his eyes tells me without words that he would do anything for me.
That scares me more than anything else.
I don’t want Falcon going down again because of me. He claims he’s innocent of the manslaughter charge, and I believe him.
I believe him because I believe in him. He’s a good man at heart. A good man who believes in the law, who knows right from wrong.
The problem is? He’s lost his belief in something very important.
He’s lost his belief in humankind.
I’ve been there, and I worked hard to get myself out of that mindset.
I can’t afford to be dragged back down into it by Falcon.
Except I already know I’ll follow Falcon anywhere.
I’m not sure what I feel for him can be called love. Love is almost too tame a word. Love isn’t supposed to hurt, but what I feel for Falcon does hurt. It’s a love so harsh and powerful that it guts me.
And not necessarily in a good way.
But not in a bad way either.
“Savannah?”
I jerk at Kelly’s voice. “Yeah?”
“You’re kind of staring into space, honey. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, fine.” I take a seat at the table. “Please, sit down everyone. It’s basic. Steaks and potatoes and broccoli. We have ice cream for dessert.”
“Sounds great,” Leif says.
Falcon doesn’t say anything. Why should he? He was with me when we were at the grocery store. He knows what we’re having.
I pick up the plate full of steaks and pass it first to Kelly. Once all our plates are full, we begin to eat.
So quiet, and so strange.
I’m still not feeling hungry, but the food tastes oddly good. Nourishing. Strengthening.
“So…” Leif finally says. “I guess I’m the loser.”
“Loser for what?” Kelly asks.
“We’re playing the silent game, right? First one to talk loses?”
She smiles at him.
“Just not much to say,” Falcon says.
I nod. “I agree. The past couple of days are still hard for me to process. It’s like they weren’t real.”
“They’re real all right, Vannah.” His gaze lingers on me.. “I swear to God no one will ever harm you.”
His words are raw and deep, and they cut into me, but not in a bad way.
Because I know I would do anything for him as well. Falcon Bellamy, ex-con, my parolee, and damn…
It may not be love. Love is pretty, sweet, nice. This isn’t any of those things. It’s something much deeper and more profound.
I’m in…
Love is the only word I know.
What else do you call the combination of lust and need and desire and passion bordering on obsession?
The only word available is love.
But it’s so much more than that.
Miles McAllister once told me he loved me.
I didn’t believe him, and I know now I was right not to.
Five years earlier…
“I’ve waited long enough for you, Savannah,” Miles says.
“I won’t. I won’t be married off.”
“That has no bearing on the issue. My father and your father made a deal.”
“This is the United States of America. You can’t force a person into marriage here. It’s not legal.”
Miles rolls his eyes. “You’re so naïve, Savannah.”
I glare at him. “Why do you want someone who doesn’t want you?”
“This doesn’t have anything to do with whether I want you or not. It’s what’s best for my family and yours. Besides…I…love you.”
The word “love” catches in his throat. It’s a damned lie, and we both know it.
From the conversation we’re having, we should be alone.
But we’re not.
My father, Vincent Gallo, sits next to me. Across from me sits Miles, and next to him, his father, Declan McAllister.
We both have attorneys sitting with us as well.
“We agreed to allow your daughter to finish college, Mr. Gallo,” the attorney for the McAllisters says. “Time’s up.”
“The young lady speaks correctly,” our attorney says. “We can’t force this marriage.”
“Not under any law in the United States or the state of Texas,” the other attorney says. “You know damned well, as I do, that we’re not dealing with those laws right now.”
Our attorney stays silent.
My father turns to me. “Savannah, you knew, when we allowed you to go to college, that you were expected to marry Miles when you were done.”
“I’m not a commodity, Daddy. I’m a young woman.”
“You are. But your mother was married off to me at eighteen. We hadn’t even met at the time.”
I shake my head. “I’ve heard the story a thousand times, Daddy. These things shouldn’t happen. They’re not supposed to happen.”
“We live in our own world, Savannah. You know that.”
How well I know that. This world took my brother from me, and I want no part of it.
“Maybe I have things I want to do.”
“We know that. You’ll be able to go to law school as scheduled,” Dad says.
“Yeah, and do the family’s bidding. But which family? My Gallo family or the McAllister family?” I shake my head. “I want no part of this.” I rise.
“Savannah, sit down.”
“I’m twenty-two years old now. I’ve been my own person since I was eighteen. I’m afraid I don’t have to take orders from you anymore.” I head toward the door, turn the knob—
It’s locked.
They’ve locked me in here. My skin goes cold.
“Someone needs to unlock this door,” I say. “Or I’ll call the police.”
“I’m afraid there’s no cell reception in here,” McAllister’s attorney says.
“I see a phone right there.” I point to a landline on the credenza.
“Which requires a code to access, which I don’t plan to give you.”
Prickles skitter over my arms, and I brush my hands over them. “I truly don’t have a choice, do I?” I say.
“I’m sorry, Savannah,” Dad says. “But you don’t.”
I take my seat. “What do I have to do to get out of this?”
“There’s nothing you can do,” Mr. McAllister says. “Your father and I made a deal, sweetheart.”
“Don’t you ever refer to me as sweetheart.”
“However,” Mr. McAllister says, “there might be one thing.”
My heart races. “What? Whatever it is, I’ll do it.”
The McAllisters’ attorney clears his throat. “You have a bachelor’s degree in criminal justice.”
“I do.”
“With plans to go to law school.”
“Yes. I’ve already been accepted at Georgetown.”
“That was never going to happen anyway,” Mr. McAllister says. “You’d be going here somewhere in Texas. Once you marry my son.”
Mr. McAllister’s attorney clears his throat again. “I’ve discussed this with my client, and we’ve had preliminary discussions with your father. If you truly don’t want to marry young Mr. McAllister here, you’ll need to put your law school plans on hold. Indefinitely.”
I rise, curling my hands into fists. “Being a lawyer has always been my dream! Daddy, how can you let them take that away from me?”
“If you marry Miles, sweetheart, you’ll still go to law school.”
“And answer to whom?” I demand.
My father doesn’t respond.
“There’s currently an opening for a parole officer in the area, and you meet the necessary qualifications,” the McAllisters’ attorney continues. “You take that job, and when we come to you and ask for a favor, you’ll do it.”
“And if I don’t?”
“Then you marry Mr. McAllister.”
Dad looks at me. “Sweetheart, it’s the only way.”
“What do you mean it’s the only way? None of this makes sense to me. I’m twenty-two years old, a legal adult, and you’ve locked me in a room.”
“Sweetheart, you know the kind of work I do. And unfortunately, family members are always affected.”
“Then why didn’t you leave? Why didn’t you leave instead of marrying Mom?”
“If I hadn’t married your mother, you wouldn’t be here.”
“True, and I wouldn’t be in this horrid position that you’ve put me in. Locking me in a room. Not allowing me to call the police. What kind of father are you?”
He rises then. “Savannah.”
I drop back into my seat.
And I hate myself for it. But when my father uses that voice, I obey.
23
FALCON
After dinner, Leif and I go out on the front porch and talk while we watch the dogs.
“How are your sisters doing?” I ask.
“They’re good. Laney just graduated from college. And Scarlett—What?”
“What do you mean what?”
Leif wrinkles his brow. “I mentioned Scarlett’s name, and the look on your face… It got…weird.”
I’ve got no problem with Scarlett Ramsey. But my brother Eagle is currently pussy-whipped over her, and I have a feeling he’s doing something stupid.
“You’re imagining things,” I say.
“I’ve known you a long time, Falcon. I know what your face says.”
“Do you?” I scoff. “We’ve been separated for the last eight years, Leif. You don’t know what the fuck I went through, and I don’t know what the fuck you went through. I think it’s safe to say that we’re not the same people we once were.”
“Yeah, sure. We’ll go with that. For now, at least. Anyway, Scarlett is living at home with Mom and Dad.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. She hates it, since she’s twenty-nine years old and all. But she got laid off from her job as a paralegal. The firm was downsizing.”
“Money trouble?”
“I don’t think so. Not as long as she’s living with Mom and Dad. She’s a smart girl. She’ll find her way.”
Yeah.
She’ll find her way all right. By way of my littlest brother, who’s gotten into some bad shit again.
“Have you talked to her lately?”
“Yeah. Kelly and I stayed with Mom and Dad when we first came out, while our house was being built.”
“You got a house built that quickly?”
“Money talks, but no. Kelly inherited a ton of money from her psycho father. So we’re having it built on the family’s property, but we did stay with Mom and Dad for a few nights. We’re set up in town right now, in a short-term rental.”
“I see.” I draw in a breath. “Have you seen Eagle?”
“Once. He came to the house to see Scarlett when Kelly and I were still living there. That was a month or so ago.”
“They’re not…involved, are they?”
“I don’t think so. Scarlett didn’t say anything like that.”
I nod.
“Why do you ask?”
“You don’t know? My little brother’s had a crush on your sister for years.”
“Really? She’s four years older than he is.”
“She is, and she’s also hot as hell.”
Leif scowls at me. “That’s my sister you’re talking about.”
I take the tennis ball from Sydney’s mouth and throw it into the front yard for her. “Be that as it may. She’s hot as all get out, and I think my brother’s doing some stupid shit at her bidding.”
“Hold on.” Leif goes rigid. “Scarlett wouldn’t do anything wrong.”
“Wouldn’t she?” I toss Sydney’s ball again. “How well do you know your sister?”
“I know her well enough, for sure. You watch your mouth, Fal.”
I rise and scoop up Sammy who’s chewing on a shrub. “Leif, I would’ve said the same thing about my brother. And I can’t tell you any more than that. But he let me down.”
“When you left—”
“When I left? When I was shoved behind bars is more like it. I didn’t leave of my own accord like you did.”
“Hey man, we’re not going back there again.”
Sammy wriggles out of my arms and runs toward his mother. “We won’t go back there. But I’m just saying, people change a lot in eight years. You and I both did. Maybe Scarlett did too.”
“Scarlett was here. Finishing college, going to paralegal school, working. She wasn’t watching people get killed in Afghanistan.”
“No, and she wasn’t listening to poor young boys screaming as they were raped every night in prison,” I say. “But that doesn’t mean she hasn’t been going through her own stuff, man. Open your eyes, Leif. I need to find out what your sister’s up to.”
“My sister is not up to—”
“Stop it. I’m not making any accusations. I’m asking you, as a friend, to look into it.”
Leif shoves his hair off his forehead. “You’ve been leveraging our friendship a lot in the past twenty-four hours.”
I cock my head as a memory—one nearly as old as we are—invades my mind. “Do you really want to go there, Leif? Really? Have you forgotten that you owe me?”
He drops his gaze for a moment and then meets mine. “No. I haven’t forgotten.”
“Good. Just check it out. That’s all I’m asking. I have a hunch my brother’s into something because of your sister. I need to keep him out of trouble.”
“You’re not his keeper, Falcon.”
I nod.
But I don’t say anything.
Because the truth is that I am my brother’s keeper. I have been since that fateful day years ago.
“I got the money,” I say to Eagle, Hawk by my side.
“What’s he doing here?” Eagle glares at Hawk.
“I was with Falcon when we found the drugs,” Hawk says, keeping his voice measured, “but I’ll be happy to get the fuck out if you don’t want my help, you spoiled piece of shit.”
Eagle and Hawk have always been a bit like wildfire and rain. Hawk, with his quiet fortitude, and Eagle, with his rebellious rambunctiousness. I’m always stuck in the middle—there’s a bit of both my brothers in me.
“Did you think I was going to keep this from Hawk?” I ask.
“You could have told me.”
“I did tell you. I told you Hawk and I found the shit.”
Eagle paces across the floor of his room. He’s withdrawing, and he’s a mess. But he made his own fucking bed. He’s my brother, and I love him, but I can’t take away his physical pain. Part of me wishes I could. Another part wants him to remember every single second of this agony so he’ll never do something so damned stupid again.
Then there’s the third and last part of me—part heart and part brain—the part that knows I must protect him at all costs because I’m his big brother, and it’s my job.
“So what do you think?” I ask.
“You haven’t said anything.”
“Right.” I need to get my mind in gear. Flashing back to the past won’t do me any good. My insides are knotted, and my body’s telling me to run. To run like hell. “Savannah and I need to get out of here. Seriously. Go on the run.”
“Are you serious?” Leif says.
“Yeah. And you know what that means, don’t you?”
“I know how much your family means to you. I know how much Raven means to you. You just donated bone marrow to her. So if you’re planning on leaving, you’d better have a damned good reason.”
“I do. And she’s in there, cleaning up my kitchen.”
“So you’ve fallen hard.”
“I think I already told you, man. I’d burn down the whole state of Texas for her.”
Leif touches my forearm, but I jerk away.
“Easy,” he says.
“I think there’s still a part of Savage in me.”
“Yeah, there is. There’s a part of Phoenix in me.”
“Phoenix?”
“It was my nickname in the SEALs. I had a knack for getting out of scrapes, so they called me Phoenix, like that bird that burns down and then rises from the ashes to live again.”
“I wanted to leave Savage in prison. But it’s not possible.”
“Nope, Falcon. It’s not.”
“They’re going to come for me, Leif. They’re going to come for me because that derelict died. They’ll say that because I’m an ex-con, it was premeditated or something. It doesn’t even have to be premeditated for manslaughter. I went on the inside to protect someone I love. And I would do it again. But that’s not what’s going on here.”
“Maybe you’d be protecting Savannah.”
“Savannah’s guy lived, thank God. The only way I can protect Savannah is if I’m by her side, guarding her. She’s got that rival Austin family after her, so I need to protect her.”
“You’re serious.”
“I am. These feelings I have for her, they’re…” I slam my fist against my heart “They’re maddening. Literally maddening, as if I’m losing myself in them. I feel like a rabid dog, going after anything that gets in the way of what I want. What I love.”
