Come fly with me, p.18
Come Fly With Me, page 18
Maya grinned. ‘I knew you kept throwing us together on purpose.’
‘And yet you still show up.’
‘Of course I do.’ She hugged Julie back. ‘Now show me around the house again; let’s park the subject of Dad and me for now. I’ve taken what you’ve said on board. I promise.’
‘Do you really promise?’
‘Yes. Now I want to see more, including the drawings for the loft conversion.’
‘Okay, I’ll let it go for now but only because I can’t wait to show you the plans.’
‘Lead the way.’
Maya arrived at Conrad’s with so many containers of pre-cooked food ready for his freezer that he could have a dinner party for ten, three times over. He’d transferred her money for the shopping and as it was way too much for what she needed, she’d gone for it, batch cooking for hours so that she could cut down on these visits. The freezer was almost at bursting point and even he couldn’t argue that his one-armed abilities would hamper his nutrition now.
‘I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this, Maya.’
Well, he could. But that didn’t mean she hadn’t had enough. She was over it. She didn’t want thanks. She didn’t want gratitude. She wanted her freedom back. And she’d heard a whispering from someone else at the air ambulance base that Conrad, or someone who looked very much like Conrad, had been spotted out again after dark nipping in to pick up a box of beer from the supermarket.
‘I’m going to have to shoot off, I’m afraid.’ She put on enough regret to be believable but not so much he’d take it as sarcasm. It was a fine line, especially when she was annoyed at him for the pretence.
‘You all right?’ he asked, holding the shoulder of his bad arm with his good one to make sure she didn’t forget his injuries.
‘I am, work has been really busy lately. Same shifts as usual but we’ve had a lot of callouts each time. It doesn’t always work like that but recently…’
‘How’s Noah?’
‘Noah is good. So is Bess. So is Nadia.’ She refused to take the bait.
She picked up the empty cardboard box she’d used to transport the containers and held it against her body so she wouldn’t have to face the lingering hug he liked to give if her guard was down. She spotted some files on the sofa. ‘Are you working?’
He shrugged. ‘I asked work to send me something. I want to keep my mind active, you know. And they’re always happy to offload paperwork.’
She headed for the front door rather than questioning him further. The day Conrad volunteered for paperwork would be the day she’d look up and see pigs flying between the clouds. He was a man who wanted to be involved with cases, out investigating; he didn’t want to sit there shuffling papers.
‘You working tonight?’ he asked before she reached the front door.
‘No, I’d be useless to anyone this evening. I’m going to take a bath, have an early night.’
She was straight out of the door and to her car, she had the engine on within thirty seconds and she pulled away from the kerb in less than another ten.
Maya’s home was small but the bathroom was fitted perfectly with a slipper tub with Victorian-style taps, a sink, toilet and shower and a window low enough that when she lifted up the blind, she could see out to her back garden. It would be nice when she got around to sprucing it up a bit, but for now she closed the blind so she didn’t have to think about it or Julie’s claims that her dad wanted to help.
She started the bath running, added some bubble bath and when her landline rang, she ran into the bedroom to grab it because she knew it would be Conrad. It wasn’t that she wanted to speak to him but she wanted him to know she was here. He had a habit of doing this, calling her on the landline and pretending he’d hit the wrong button in his contacts rather than calling her mobile number. It was his way of checking she was where she claimed to be and right now, she’d rather pander to his need than have him repetitively calling her.
She took the phone into the bathroom. The water thundered from the taps, the bubbles rising. ‘Conrad, I’m about to step into the tub.’
‘Sorry, it was a butt dial,’ he laughed.
Did he seriously expect her to believe that?
‘Well, an accidental dial at any rate,’ he corrected.
She leaned over and the taps squeaked as she turned them off. Whizzy padded into the bathroom to keep her company.
‘I’ll let you go,’ he said when she didn’t engage in more conversation.
‘Yep, don’t want the water to get cold.’
She must have been tetchier than she realised because his amused tone altered. ‘No need to snap.’
‘It’s been a long day.’ She didn’t point out that as well as work, she had the emotional turmoil of Isaac and Conrad churning over in her head constantly, not to mention being a meals-on-wheels service for a lying ex-husband. ‘I want to climb into a warm bath and then go to bed.’
‘There was a time when you did that here.’
‘Conrad, we are divorced. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?’ She calmed herself by fussing over Whizzy.
‘Marriage did.’
‘I have to go.’
‘Have you thought any more about Ireland?’
‘Seriously, you want to talk about this now? No, I haven’t thought about it.’
She couldn’t see it but no doubt there’d be an amused sneer on his face right now as he said, ‘Maya, don’t push it, babe.’
‘Please don’t call me babe.’ She hadn’t liked it when they were married and she sure as hell didn’t like it now. ‘I’m going now, Conrad.’
‘Suit yourself.’ And so that he had an upper hand of sorts, it was him who put the phone down on her.
Maya sank into the tub, Whizzy leapt up on the small faded-blue cabinet with drawers beneath that she’d painted and put at one end and curled up into a ball, happy to be near her for the company.
Maya didn’t have the long bath she’d wanted, not that Conrad bothered her again. But after ten minutes, she couldn’t relax and so she climbed out, dried off, pulled on her jeans again and hoped that Noah’s offer of a beer was an open invitation for tonight too.
24
Noah had had an impromptu visit from Paul again this morning but when he saw the car pull up, he’d purposely run with Eva to the back of the house and closed the kitchen door, where he’d stayed until the knocking ceased and he was sure Paul had gone. He knew he’d have to face the guy sooner or later but he was still fuming at his audacity, asking for money, proving that he had zero interest in Eva. What sort of man could do that? He had no idea but he did know if Paul was to come here before he’d had a chance to calm down some more, Noah might well kill him with his bare hands.
It was the height of summer, which meant the days went on forever, sunlight lasted and lasted, but still Noah had the curtains in the house closed at the front. Nobody could get around the back, not without scaling fences and bushes, so at least that was something. Eva had refused to go down for her nap today and so every time she picked up one of her toys, he cringed at its volume in case Paul came to the door and he would know they were inside.
Before he became Eva’s guardian, Noah would have assumed that babies who skipped a daytime sleep would sleep for much longer at night. But it didn’t work that way. She was grouchy and his attempt to put her down early had met with screams and the kind of sobbing you couldn’t ignore unless you were prepared to have your heart totally broken.
He was pacing in the lounge, shushing Eva, the little girl in his arms with barely open eyes by now. She was fighting the sleep, or she was so overtired her body wouldn’t let her settle. And whatever he tried didn’t work. He attempted to sing a lullaby – that went about as well as if he’d blasted out Metallica on the stereo. He tried to give her a teething ring – she slung that across the room with a deft flick of her wrist and it crashed into a glass he’d left on the mantelpiece, sending it toppling to the floor with an almighty smash. It was as if the universe knew this was a trying time for Noah, more so than usual, and it wanted to make him doubly pay for even wishing this guy Paul into their lives.
Noah had to leave Eva to scream in her cot while he cleaned up the glass and made sure every last speck of it was gone from the rug and it had been torture listening to her cry for him, but he had no choice.
Her tear-stained face when he finally went to get her rested against his cheek but she began to settle in his arms as he paced in the lounge, jostling her up and down a little by bending his knees as he walked.
A knock at the door sent him hot-footing it out to the kitchen at the back.
‘Shit.’ He’d have thought he’d hear the roar of that obnoxious engine on Paul’s car which had one of those annoying exhausts boy racers thought were a status symbol, the sort of exhaust that pissed off everyone within a mile’s radius apart from the car’s occupant, who was convinced it gave him bigger balls than anything else.
The knocks kept coming. Did this guy ever give up? He’d said he’d be in touch, but Noah hadn’t expected him to be this persistent, showing up twice in one day.
With Eva quiet apart from the odd whimper, he tiptoed out of the kitchen and hovered at the door to the lounge, which he’d left open this time. And then he heard a voice coming through the letterbox. And it wasn’t Paul’s.
He went into the hallway and opened up the door. ‘Maya.’
Her face registered his exhaustion.
‘Oh, God, I shouldn’t have come. You’ve got your hands full—’
He reached out with one arm before she could turn and leave and he tugged her gently to come inside. ‘I have but I don’t mind you being here. I could use the company.’
She closed the door behind her and followed him into the lounge. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Absolutely.’ And right now, he really needed a friend.
She took one look at him and then at Eva and held out her arms. ‘Give her to me for a bit; sometimes a change is good. If you’re tense, she’ll pick up on it.’
He expected Eva to make a fuss as he handed her over, but she didn’t; she nuzzled her head against Maya’s neck as if she knew her.
‘It’s been a day,’ he told Maya, but the way she looked at him had him adding, ‘Who am I kidding? It’s been months of total chaos and not knowing what the hell I’m doing.’
‘I know the feeling.’ Maya seemed content holding Eva. Perhaps she needed the cuddle too.
‘How long can you stay?’
‘A while,’ she smiled.
‘Then we’re going to need coffee, hot chocolate or a beer.’
‘Hot chocolate, please,’ she said softly, the little girl still in her arms, lulled into what looked very much like a wind-down routine. Maya had the magic touch.
While he made the hot chocolates, Maya went into the lounge. From where he was, he heard the soft strains of Maya singing a lullaby and by the time he went through with the two mugs, Eva had fallen asleep.
Noah led the way to Eva’s bedroom, which was already dimly lit, and Maya lowered her inside the cot before he pulled up the rail as quietly as possible.
They tiptoed away, collected the hot chocolates from the lounge and headed out back. He excused himself straight away though and went back to put the chain on the front door, have a peep through the curtains to be sure there was no sign of Paul.
When he joined Maya again on the back porch, he talked as though everything was fine. ‘I didn’t expect to see you this evening.’
‘It was spur of the moment. One minute, I was exhausted and pissed off with Conrad, then I was in the bath trying to relax, then I was dressed and coming here.’
He knew he shouldn’t be thinking it when he had so much other stuff on his mind, but he liked the connection between her in the bath and then coming to see him.
‘What’s he done this time?’ It was easier to focus on someone else’s problems than delve into his own, at least for tonight.
‘Nothing different to usual.’ She sounded weary and he wondered how long this guy had been a pain for her; had it been their whole marriage? ‘It’s wearing me down, that’s all.’
Noah took a sip of hot chocolate, in far more need of this than a beer. Having Eva had been a massive change in the obvious ways – moving here to Whistlestop River, exchanging a bachelor pad for a cottage, having responsibility. But being a parent to his niece had subtly softened his edges too – he made sure he got as much sleep as he could so that he was alert and available for Eva, he spent more time at home between shifts, and now he chose hot chocolate rather than alcohol.
There was a gentle breeze out here on the back porch and it was still light but cool, so at least he wouldn’t have to worry about Eva waking because she was too hot.
Maya’s fingers threaded through the handle of her mug. ‘How did it go with Eva’s biological father?’ One look told her all she needed to know. ‘That bad?’
He ran a free hand across the back of his neck. ‘He floated the idea that instead of him going for custody, we come to some sort of arrangement.’
She sat forwards. ‘That could be a really good thing. Visitation rights. Then you’ll keep Eva in your life, you both get to see her, she’ll have two father figures.’
‘Yeah, don’t get too excited. That wasn’t exactly what he meant.’ Tension built inside him again. ‘By arrangement, Paul meant that I pay him a sum of money – twenty thousand – and he’ll drop his case for child custody. He’ll disappear again, so he says.’
Maya’s reaction was almost the same as his had been when Paul suggested it – at least in terms of shock. She probably didn’t have the same urge to punch the guy in the face, though.
‘He wants you to pay him to keep Eva in your life? What a lowlife, and that’s way too polite for him. Who does that?’
The biggest dickhead to walk the earth?
‘Not anyone nice or a person with morals. I could’ve strangled him when he said it. It’s lucky for him I was holding Eva.’
‘Surely you say no and when he tries to get custody, you let your lawyer know what he suggested. That shows exactly what type of man he is: not the sort you want parenting a young child, no matter the blood ties.’
‘Nice in theory,’ Noah sighed. ‘But he says if I say anything, he’ll switch it around and tell everyone that it was me who offered him money to take Eva. After all, I’ve given up a lot to be here. My girlfriend left me, I gave up my apartment, my job in London, the life I once had. And I’m afraid that with him being the father, and with that accusation, he’ll be believed and he’ll get Eva.’
Maya set down her mug. ‘I didn’t realise you were in a relationship.’
‘I was, but it’s fine, honestly. Eva coming into my life so suddenly taught me about the woman I was with. I have no regrets that we ended, none at all.’ He was sure about that, especially since meeting Maya.
She waited a beat. ‘Can I ask you something? And when I say this, I really don’t mean to offend.’
‘Go on.’
‘Do you want to be a full-time dad to Eva? Permanently?’
He hesitated before answering. ‘If you’d asked me that question when I first came here, I would’ve said no, that I was doing it out of duty to Cassie, and that I thought her biological father would be the better parent.’
‘And now?’
‘Now I know what Paul is like, I know without a doubt I don’t want him anywhere near Eva. And it isn’t only that. With every day that passes, I love Eva that little bit more and I’m beginning to realise how hard it’ll be to imagine her not in my life on a full-time basis.’
He finished his hot chocolate and set the empty mug down on the ground. ‘I haven’t told you what else I found.’
And as the sun showed signs of getting ready to give up for the day, Noah told her what had happened after Paul left earlier today.
Noah had given Eva lunch and for once, she ate it quite happily. It was a small victory that made him feel like he was getting somewhere with this parenting lark, which only served to remind him that it might well not be forever, and he was all over the place with how to feel about that.
Noah smiled at Eva as she finished up the last of the stewed lamb and carrots. He’d served it in the little plastic bowl and spoon he’d picked up from the supermarket when Eva started on solids because he hadn’t had the time or energy to go through all of Cassie’s things to find the little set his sister had bought for her daughter. He’d felt bad not finding it, but he’d been focused on survival. Today, however, he felt he was doing a disservice to his sister’s memory. She’d shown him the set when Eva was only two months old, every day getting closer to when she’d be able to use it herself. Cassie couldn’t wait to see it. And then she’d been gone before Eva had a chance to reach that particular milestone.
And it was that memory that had led him to search for the set. He’d shoved a whole load of boxes way up high in the wardrobe in Eva’s room when he moved into the old signal box cottage with every intention of going through them at some point. And that point hadn’t arrived until now.
‘Where is it?’ he sighed. Eva had shuffled over to the baby gym she didn’t use now unless it was to tug at its parts and see what moved, what made a noise, what didn’t do much at all.
He climbed onto a chair and pulled out a box he’d pushed onto the uppermost shelf. He rifled through it to find the tiny sleepsuits Eva had worn when she first came home from the hospital. It was hard to believe she’d ever been that small. He put the box down by the door. Those would go to a charity shop for someone else to use now she’d grown out of them. He pulled out another plastic bag filled with muslin squares and wraps that would be too small for Eva, followed by a much bigger box. That one was filled with Cassie’s stuff, however, not Eva’s. He put it on the floor out of the way so he could yank out the bag from the very back which almost tumbled down on top of him.
Settled on the floor, with Eva amusing herself with the wooden shape sorter he’d bought her for her first birthday, Noah opened up the bag. First, he took out the monitor and set it to one side; maybe he’d use it at some point, could be handy. And then he pulled out the set: the cream plate and bowl made of the type of thick plastic necessary for babies and toddlers so it would survive being dropped, thrown, bashed against things. ‘Bingo.’
