Thunder jim wade the com.., p.24
Trusted Bond, page 24
He growled in the back of his throat, standing, moving the shirt he’d been holding against his wound, hurling it to the ground in frustration. He wasn’t bleeding anymore, and neither did he appear weakened. “You make things right with Jin saving my life and—”
“I was not trying to—”
“You’re a fucking liar, and we both know it!” Logan roared at him, stalking over to the semel-aten and fisting his hand in his gallibaya. “You tried to kill me last night, and you tried to do it again today. I never fuckin’ thought you’d be so stupid as to try it again with my reah watching over me. You sacrificed good men to a selfish cause, and you can stand there and try and defend it for the disgraceful act that it was. You wanted my reah, and when you couldn’t have him, then I couldn’t either. Since you can’t kill me, your next thought is to lock him up,” he finished, slapping Ammon across the face hard. “Fuck you and fuck this place!”
The man made a move like he was going to strike Logan, but my low snarl froze him where he stood. “You think you can get to me before he gets to you?” Logan asked him.
He took a step back, wary eyes on me. “I was thinking about challenging you, semel-aten,” Logan said flatly.
Ammon’s eyes were locked on his.
“But I don’t want any of this; I just want to go home.”
“You think you could take—”
“Oh yes,” Logan assured him. “I could take everything from you.”
Long, scary silence as the two men stared at each other. “Let there be peace between us for the remainder of the feast, semel-aten,” Logan said softly. “Stop the bloodshed between our houses.”
“Only my men are dead, semel-re.” He shivered hard, and I was certain that at least some of it was relief. “On your command, they attacked me and my reah; you alone sent them to their death. Your own greed killed them, nothing else.”
After a minute, he nodded. “Will you call a truce?”
“I have no choice.”
“There’s always a choice.”
“Yes, there is,” He agreed before sighing deeply. “Let us call a truce.”
Logan cleared his throat. “I need you to make the announcement that commends the action of my reah and will confirm his innocence.”
“Agreed.”
“Good,” Logan said, offering the semel-aten his suddenly shifted hand, claws where fingers should have been. “We are agreed, and this is maat.”
“This is maat,” Ammon echoed, grasping Logan’s wrist, his too shifted, the claws of each man buried in the other’s forearm, drawing quick blood.
When they pulled back, each drank the mingled blood, sealing their bond. Ammon cast one last look at me before he turned quickly and descended the stairs from his private box into the coliseum. I was shaking with the release of tension and then felt hands on my face. When I looked down, my eyes met Logan’s beautiful gold ones.
“Leave us,” he commanded the Shu.
I didn’t hear them go, but a quick glance around confirmed that they had gone. They moved as their name implied, like the wind. “And now, love,” he said, smiling up at me, stroking under my chin. “Shift for me.”
The trembling was involuntary, but I was scared that I couldn’t, scared that this time I was too far gone.
“Love.” The sultry voice, the hooded eyes, and the lift in the corner of his mouth was too much for me. He made me breathless.
I was unsteady on my feet for a moment before I found myself looking up into his eyes. “There you are,” he said with a smile before he bent and kissed me.
It was so tender, so gentle, I was lightheaded. His scent, the sound of him… how had I ever thought that I could be without my mate?
“Come here,” he said, taking my hand, releasing a deep breath as he walked backward for a moment before sitting down on one of the cushioned empire chairs. He pulled me down into his lap, and I straddled his thighs. “Better,” he said, letting out a deep breath. “Just us.”
I stroked my hands through his hair, over his face, traced his eyebrows with my fingertips. “I was scared.”
“So was I,” he said, chuckling, moving me forward, trapping my hardening cock between us, running his hands over the tops of my thighs. “But everything’s okay.”
“Yes,” he said thoughtfully, releasing a deep sigh. I studied him. “You’re hurt.” I passed judgment, looking at the dried blood on his collar, the scrapes over his jaw, the red blotches that might turn into bruises on his throat and collar bone. “You—”
“One shift and it’s gone,” he assured me. “You know that.”
I nodded.
“Jin, I—”
“Yes, my semel.”
“Christ,” he groaned, “how do you know that I—”
“I shifted back for you,” I told him, sliding off his lap to the floor. “And now you want more, you want to feel my submission, taste it.”
His growl of agreement was very sexy. I pushed his shirt up his body, over the rippling abs, and leaned in to kiss his hard, sweaty stomach.
“Your lips are so soft,” he said, his breath hitching. I smiled against his skin, fiddling with his belt before unzipping his fly, parting the folds and reaching underneath for the elastic waistband of his briefs. He lifted up, knowing the dance, and I eased the pants, as well as his briefs, down over his hips, releasing his beautiful, stiff cock, allowing it to bob free. Bending forward, I swept my tongue slowly over the end of the swollen, leaking head. “Fuck!” I was the servant in the present scenario, but I seemed to be the one with all the power.
“Jin,” he panted, “please.”
I groaned and leaned forward to take him into my mouth, down my throat, but instead of swallowing him fast, I lowered my mouth with deliberate slowness until he was writhing underneath me. He tried to buck up into me, bury himself in my throat, without success. I was drawing out the pleasure, making him conform to my pace. I was merciless in my desire to make him scream my name. “Jin,” he roared, clutching my hair, holding me tight. “Your mouth is so hot—so wet…. I’m gonna come…. God, what are you doing with your tongue?”
I sucked and licked over every inch of his long, thick cock, into the slit, around the crown, down the prominent vein that ran along the side, and back up underneath with teasing pressure that made him groan loudly and arch up against me.
“Baby,” he said, his voice only a raspy whisper. “My baby….”
He was so beautiful, head back, eyes closed as he squirmed under me, gasping my name, his cock like hot swollen steel in my mouth. He was lost in the exquisite sensations pulsing through his body, and I was the reason for his rapture. It was amazing because he was so strong, so full of heat and power, and yet I was the one he was begging, I was the one making him burn. He relinquished all his control to me. “Tell me what you want,” I said, laving his cock, nuzzling his balls, making everything slick and wet with saliva before again sinking my mouth down over his impressive length. “Stop torturing me and suck my dick… hard. Suck it hard.”
It was not a request, and the command in his voice made me whimper with my own need.
“Jesus, the sounds you make… you’re killin’ me.”
I swallowed his shaft down my throat, my face buried in his groin.
“Look at you,” he moaned.
As I deep-throated his erection, making the suction strong and fast, the head of his cock bumping against the back of my throat, I felt him swell even larger in my mouth, heard my name roared as he came, and my hair was gripped painfully so I couldn’t move, couldn’t pull away. I swallowed hard as hot semen coated and filled my throat. “Take it all,” he ordered, holding me against him as his body shuddered with his climax.
I held him in my mouth until he went limp, then licked him clean, finally leaning back and letting my body sink down onto the cushions on the floor. It was soothing, relaxing: the breeze, the fact that we were alone, that we would not be disturbed. Even out in the open, we were up so high no one could see, no one could reach us without us hearing. It was sublime. “Come here.”
I lifted my head to look at him, and he patted his thighs.
“There’s no way,” I said, laughing at him. “You can’t possibly.”
“No.” He laughed with me. “But I need to take care of you.”
“I’m good,” I sighed, realizing that I was. I was wrung out from the shift. I had wanted to give him pleasure, let him exercise his power over me, give him that gift, but my body was drained, sated with doing for him. “Come here. I wanna touch you… kiss you, taste me in your mouth.”
I grinned and climbed up into his lap, straddling his hips, my ass immediately pulled forward until I was seated over his groin. When I leaned toward him, he opened his mouth to receive my tongue, sucking it lightly, gently, stroking his over mine, and building new heat in me almost instantly.
“When we get home, I’m gonna keep you in bed with me for a week.”
“That sounds great,” I said, closing my eyes, leaning into him, hugging him tight. He held me, content to do nothing more.
Chapter Sixteen
THERE WERE people who wanted to see Logan, friends he had known for years, acquaintances as well, and so our suite was open as he entertained visitors. Normally I would have been at his side, but I found that I was uncomfortable. The more people that filled the rooms, the smaller they seemed. I was on the patio, having excused myself from speaking to another semel and his yareah and his children, when Delphine brought me a glass of ice water.
“You need more fluids,” she told me, taking my hand, “but you know that.”
I nodded. When she turned to leave me, I kept her hand so she couldn’t walk away. She turned and looked at me. “What?”
I swallowed hard. “I dunno.”
She squeezed my hand before dropping it, stepping close again, both her hands going to the sides of my face. “What do you need me to do?” she asked gently, under her breath so no one could hear but me.
I felt a wave of panic roll through me, and I shivered.
“Maybe you should lie down.”
“Maybe.”
She chewed her bottom lip. “Should I get Logan?”
“No.” I shook my head. “He’s gotta—he needs to do this, it’s important for him to keep his circle strong.”
“Maybe someone should lay down with you. Maybe Crane.”
My eyes flicked to hers.
“Just to hold you.”
I took a deep breath. “No.”
“You’re sure?”
I was having trouble breathing. “I’m sure, it’s okay.”
She walked away, and I was alone for a few minutes before Yuri joined me, stepping in close, protectively. “You’re hovering.”
“It’s what a sheseru does over his reah.”
I nodded. “Come into the bedroom and talk to me.”
“Delphine told you I should lie down,” I concluded, knowing that he was not this perceptive. “She said you were tired, and I agree. What you did today—you should be in a coma. I think you should eat again, have some more water, and go to bed.”
“Maybe I’ll just go in there where it’s quiet.”
“Good idea,” he agreed, his hand between my shoulder blades, easing me forward. He walked me into my room and took a seat in the overstuffed empire chair while I sat down on the bed.
“You just gonna stare at me?”
“Why don’t you lie down?”
I swallowed hard. “You look like you’re gonna cry, Jin. You want me to get Logan?”
“Why would I cry?” I asked breathlessly, wiping my tears.
“I think all of this, everything, is finally catching up to you, and I think you’re gonna fuckin’ lose it.”
“I never lose it.”
“Until now.”
“No. I’ll be all right. Go check on Logan, make sure he’s fine. There are a lot of people out there.”
He nodded, rising up out of the chair. He had to go look, check. Once I put the idea that Logan could be vulnerable in his head, he had to go see and make sure.
My vision blurred, and a second later I felt an arm around my shoulders, a head leaning against me. “I’m fine,” I told Delphine. “I don’t think so.”
“I am,” I said, putting my arm around her, pulling her close, kissing her temple before I got up. I felt like I was going to be sick. It was too much activity, too many people, too much noise, too much conversation, too much everything. I craved solitude. “I promise.”
“What can I get you?”
I had the urge to bolt out of there. It came on fast, the feeling that there was no air in the room. “Nothing, I’m fine,” I lied. “Listen, I’ll be right back, sweetheart,” I told her, trying so hard to smile.
“Okay,” I heard her say to my back as I left the room. I looked around but didn’t see Logan anywhere. I walked through the suite, weaving through the crowd, smiling, moving faster and faster to the door. I couldn’t breathe, and by the time I heard Crane call over to me, I was closing the door behind me. I heard Mikhail’s voice above me on the stairs as I went down. I called up to him that I would be right back, just needed some air. He told me to wait, that he would come with me. When I was outside in the courtyard, I took a deep breath. I didn’t feel like I was going to hyperventilate anymore. I closed my eyes a minute. The waves of panic were just washing over me. I was walking toward the center of town before I even realized I was moving. As I looked up and down the street, I swallowed hard so I wouldn’t throw up. My breathing was shallow, and my hands were clammy as I pressed them together. The flight reflex was choking me. I was shaking with it. I had to keep moving away from the noise. I wanted to run. I ran every other day when I wasn’t beaten and held down and put in dark places where I couldn’t breathe. It was enough, though, to be outside. It was good just to breathe, to feel the breeze on my face, not to have the walls closing in on me.
I walked fast, turning the corner at the end of the street and heading toward the park that I knew was there. I told myself I would stop and sit at the park. I had seen a table there, imagined how peaceful it would be to just sit and be alone. But when I got there, I just kept going, through the park to the center of town. My route was not a straight line; it went down alleys, behind buildings, through empty lots and across streets. And even though I was thirsty, I kept going. I felt better than I had all day. To be outside was bliss. I took more deep breaths and walked on.
IT WAS dark outside, and the suite was empty when I got back, not a soul around. Everyone was probably out looking for me, and I was there. I would go look for them after my shower. I felt gritty, and I was covered in dust and sweat. I was exhausted afterward and went to the fully stocked kitchen and grabbed six bottles of water before staggering back to the bedroom. I had pulled on pajama bottoms and a T-shirt, and after guzzling down the fourth bottle, crawled into bed. I told myself I didn’t need to go looking for anyone; they would find their way back eventually. I had to lie down. I was just about to close my eyes when I heard the door open and then my name called in the way he always did. “Jin?”
“In here,” I yelled back to Crane.
He appeared in the doorway seconds later. His eyes locked on mine, inspecting me the same as always, taking inventory of my features to see if I was all right. There was no lying to my best friend; I had been under his scrutiny my whole life. Other panthers would worry when he looked at them like that; they would confuse the steady gaze for menace and the threat of violence. But I knew Crane Adams, and I had cataloged all his looks years ago. All I saw was uncertainty and worry.
I smiled at him, making my voice soothing. “I’m not dead.”
“I can see that,” he said, crossing the floor to the chair beside the bed. I watched him sit down, dragging the chair closer. “I’m sorry.”
He nodded and leaned forward to touch me, a hand on my cheek. “Nothing to be sorry for.”
I stared at him, into his eyes. “You scared the crap outta me,” he growled, his hand moving to my hair, massaging my scalp. “Again.”
“I scared me too,” I told him, wanting to sit up but unable to lift my head off the pillow to save my life. “Shit—what time is it? Was I gone a long time?”
“Who cares? You feel all right?”
I swallowed hard. “I’m so sorry; I just had to get outta here. I couldn’t breathe. I thought I was going to suffocate or—”
“You had a panic attack.”
“That doesn’t sound like me. Does that sound like me?”
He shook his head. “For fuck’s sake, Jin, you just get back and you don’t rest and recover, you just push yourself like you always do, and then what you did today—”
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine!” he barked at me. “You’re not fine! What you went though—you should be a basket case!”
“Don’t have an aneurysm,” I snapped at him. “Jin!”
I groaned.
“You need peace and quiet, that’s what you need. There were too many people here.”
“That’s what I thought,” I sighed, “but I don’t think so now. I think… I dunno what I think.”
“Okay, listen to me, all right? You need to give yourself more time. I mean, I know you don’t wanna think about what that fuck did to you, but you gotta.”
“But what’d he do really? He… he beat me up a little and kept me in a dark place. Abused kids get worse than that every day.”
“Jin, are you kidding?” he asked me gently, his hand on my chest, over my heart. “He beat you, he cut you with a knife, and he made you think he was going to kill you and threatened you with rape. It was bad, okay? It was really, really bad. It’s a testament to how healthy you are that nobody can tell that you’re really going through something. But it’s a lot. I promise you it’s a lot.”
I was silent.
“I see you trying to act like you always have, like nothing’s different and you’re fine,” he sighed. “But you were made into a victim, and you gotta deal with that.”
