Dear dandi hart, p.32
Dear Dandi Hart, page 32
"I would be delighted to, Lord Hart." Sir Coffin said.
"I should think the first person I meet is the accountant. I would also like to extend some invitations to my siblings to visit the hall and rooms for them, should there be a need. But perhaps I am not the person to write them." I looked at Ashling when I said this, and he nodded.
"I can arrange the accountant. Would you like me to handle the situation with your siblings as your tenuous relationship with Lady Churchill?"
"Yes, that is quite what I was getting at. It seems I need a neutral party."
...
Lady Churchill caught my eye, walking towards us and I scowled. Our party turned towards her. Benedict is at my mother’s arm, leading her though the crowd. Annette and Christopher were nowhere to be seen, and I wondered if she had argued with the two before finding me.
"Diana," Lady Churchill said and I stood, studying her as if she were a piece of furniture with dust upon it. But did not make a remark at her as she had not called upon me but some long forgotten daughter, someone I had never truly known.
"Do you know anyone with such a name Sir Coffin, I can't say I have met Diana?" Ashling said, looking over the group reproachfully.
"I can't say I have your highness."
I smiled at his snark, but apparently Lady Churchill did not appreciate his speech. "How dare you speak to me in such a way. Do you not know your place, you fae filth. Diana, I insist you tell your servant to hold his tongue."
It was apparent that Lady Churchill could not see nor hear, for she did not seem to realize she was standing in the presence of a monarch, or that Sir Coffin called him your highness. Perhaps that was how little she cared about fae politics, despite being half fae herself.
"Oh yes, hello Lady Churchill, quite good to see you after these long years. Why yes, I am good. Would you like me to introduce you to my lover, the crown prince of Olm? No? Well, that's a shame." I said, I nod to my brother and turn away from them. "Lovely to see you Benedict. Please come visit any time."
But Lady Churchill isn't giving up that easy. As I walked through the crowd, she almost shouted, "Diana don't walk away from me, I am still your mother."
I whipped around, daggers of ice in my eyes and venom in my blood. She shrank away from me as I moved forward. Then Moira was there beside me, as if from thin air, and looking fierce.
“He is not your son, he was never your son. He is my child, I claim him. I have always loved him. And you, you’ve hurt this family enough.”
Lady Churchill’s eyes went wide as she looked at her sister with a mixture of fear and sudden anger. “I took her in. When her father made the mistake of sleeping with you, made the mistake of producing that thing, I took her in. You didn’t want her anymore. You couldn’t handle being a parent. Even when she came crawling back to you, your wickedness created her, broke her, and I gave her a chance at redemption and truth, look where that got me.”
“Shut your mouth. You disrespect me, you disrespect my partner, you disrespect my mother, because you are not a mother, you never were, not mine." I said, “Now my grandfather, who took on the fatherly responsibility, who took me in when you shunned me, who was always loving, always there, who made me his heir in place of you. That is who my family is. You don’t get to be my mother when you choose it, you don’t get to turn your back on me when it’s convenient for you. This woman bore me and was twice the mother that you ever were in your whole life, all you ever gave me was a scar, all you have ever done for me is treat me poorly, and hurt me, again and again. So, Lady Churchill, you are not my family. You are nothing to me. I will not let you disrespect my family ever again.”
Sir Coffin, the more practical of our entourage, said very calmly, "In all accordance with the law and will of Lord Dandi Hart, he claimed Dandi as his son, and as Dan has said himself you are not even biologically his mother. So, you have no maternal rights over him. As I believe, I also have paperwork that was done when you kicked him out of the house where the lord took on fatherly obligations to raise Dandi. In contrast, the Lord left you penniless, to sustain yourself on the fortunes that your late husband left you. Therefore, you are nothing here Lady Churchill. Unwanted by the dead or the living,”
“You may leave whenever you choose Alicia, and let us hope, for the sake of your reputation, that it is quickly. For I believe we have a captive crowd."
Lady Churchill blanched and looked between us and then scowled. "You are a terrible child. I only wanted what was best for you, you have the workings of evil in you, may the all-father cut your branch out of this family tree."
Ashling stepped in front of me now and his wings flicked behind him as he rose slightly into the air. She shook, eyes wide and ghast as she took a step back.
"You will respect the lord of this house, in name and title, He is a good, honest, loving man. Something I am sure you had nothing to do with. Now, if you are done disrespecting Lord Hart I suggest you leave, before I have you thrown out on the street."
"How dare you talk to a lady in such a way, you filthy little fae." Benedict said and I have never wanted to punch someone more than this man, I do not recognize him at this moment.
"Get out of my house," Moira snapped, stepping deathly close to Lady Churchill ,who stepped back, her face white and terrified. I must impress upon you that Lady Churchill was shaking, and it was easy to tell why. well Lady Churchill had her wings removed at some point in her early marriage, leaving her weak and tired and without the use of her natural magics. You could clearly see her shaking under the power of her sister. Moira’s magic was still strong in her and even if she never used it, her wings tucked against her back were full of power and vibrance, making her something fearsome to behold when she stared at her sister with a vengeance to enrage her.
My eyes were burning, and I was not going to stand this any longer. The brandy glass held tightly in my hand as my knuckles went white.
"This whole thing is a charade," Lady Churchill said bitterly, turning to leave. I was aware of all the eyes in the hall on us. Every single person staring and, for the first time in my life, I didn't care. I didn't care what they thought of me.
"My life is a charade? I think not. If you wish to speak to me about charades, let us talk about this wake. I see not any Lady or Lord here that my grandfather actually knew. I see not a single person who would likely be in real mourning over his loss. In fact, I do not even know if you, his dear daughter, are truly missing him. That is the true charade, Lady Churchill, your un-breaking heart. I have never seen a dryer eye than this hall. Why do you insist on insulting me with such an event?"
"You didn't even come to see him in his dying days:" Benedict said, coming to her rescue because of course he did.
My eyes burned with tears, but I stepped close to him and the crowd moved away as I seethed. "Maybe you didn't know this about your dear mother, Benedict, but I was forbidden from entering your house as a man. I would have been there, and we know well that grandfather wanted me there. I have numerous notes from so many people telling me to just go to him, even if it was as Diana. But I could not do that to him or to me. Because that would be a heartbreak. I could not endure was seeing him embarrassed by his daughter. Because, unlike the rest of you, he accepted me for everything I was. Perhaps once Lady Churchill sees fit to name you a man in the world, when you have every right to take from her as a man, maybe then you will understand. Now get the fuck off my estate, you petulant child." As I said the last line, I threw the drink I was holding in my hand and the glass smashed onto the floor. People began to file out of the hall and I seethed, shaking.
Benedict looked at Lady Churchill then, suddenly, as if seeing her for the first time. “You’d said I wasn’t ready to take the title. You’d said that I didn’t know a thing about running an estate. I can’t be that much of a nave that I didn’t know it was a thing I was due.” He looked at her betrayed and she snapped at him.
“You are an idiot. Let us leave, Benedict.” And she turned away from me, leaving the room. His face was pale as he walked out beside her.
Others were already filing out as the help moved people out of the halls and home. Ashling moved close by me, whispering, "What do you need? What can I get you?"
"Just get them out, I want everyone out." I said, balling my hands into fists. My eyes burned as I closed them. The servants were escorting everyone off the property.
...
I found my way into my grandfather's study once more where we had been an hour before during the reading of the will. I supposed it was my study now. I stood at the tea cart and looked at Sir Coffin sitting in a plush chair by the fire.
"Want one?" I asked him as I poured myself a whiskey.
"Oh, no thank you, my lord."
"Very well," I nodded, then poured a large glass and drank it down sharply before pouring another and sat down in my grandfather's large leather chair behind the desk. It was warm and comfortable and just right to sit at the desk. I thought I might like this room just as it is, it might be one of the few rooms I would not want to change much in.
I stare at the fireplace and get lost in its flickering flames for a long moment, breathing deeply. "Today has been a very hard day." I said absently.
"Yes, wakes usually are. Was what you said true, lady Churchill barred you from seeing your grandfather while he was sick?"
"Yes, for more than a year I couldn't see him. The only time I did see him was at the queen's wake, the only time in over a year," I said, my jaw set and eyes hollow. How could she have done it to me? How could she have refused me?
"He asked for you, I told her to contact you. I sent letters. When was the last time you saw him? The queen’s wake, you said? Some 6 months?"
"Oh yes, and I knew he was sick, long before anyone else did, but she just swept in one day and took him in. I knew he wanted me there as well, everyone told me. I can show you the letters. I was acutely aware of the situation. Annette would send me letters about grandfather, and when grandfather was still well enough, he would send me letters wishing I would come. I don't know what she did with the ones I sent to him. Maybe he never read any of them." I tell Sir Coffin and swallow a large mouthful of Whiskey as tears trickle down my face and I don’t even bother to wipe them away.
"I am very sorry."
We fell into silence again and Ashling walked into the room. "There you are, I have been looking for you. Everyone left. Oh, Whiskey, yes please," he said with a deep breath and went to pour himself a glass.
"You know, I have worked for your grandfather for many years and now here I work for you, sir. I should think she hates me a great deal. Now, it is quite the thing that Lady Churchill may have tried to pay me to change your grandfather's will ehile he was sick, and I may have a letter with her script implying such a thing. Should you like to take legal actions? As well as her behaviour today and with the baring of you to see your grandfather, she could owe you a great deal of money.”
“What is money to me, Sir Coffin?” I asked, looking around at the room. “Is it all really mine?"
“Legally and binding,” he said with a nod.
I looked at Ashling, always my compass in these things and thought about our plans and what it might mean to do such a thing.
“And if I decided I didn’t want it, what then? If I just left?” I frowned and then Ashling took my hand, reassuring me that it was alright whatever I did.
“Left, Kosh? For say, Olm. Well, I believe the queen has some such ideas. There are options available to you, once the mourning period is over.”
“How strict is that?”
“If you do not adhere to it, you forfeit it all to your siblings.”
“I see. I should think I like to deal with such matters more privately. However, I would indeed think of removing her from the counsel. But laws are such finicky things, and I do not believe that if Ashling would think it appropriate to join in her place, the counsel would take it well. We are too involved in other matters.”
“Is your heart set in rebuilding Olm then?”
“Quite.”
“I’m sure someone else can be found. There are 12 days left in the mourning period, are you willing to stay that long?"
I looked at Ashling and he raised an eyebrow at me, then nodded. "Yes, 12 days post hence and then what, Sir Coffin?”
“Then you are technically an ambassador of Olm, and, as such, those cabinet seats are still yours to decide what to do with.”
“What if I seceded those seats to another, say a farmer or merchant?”
“Koshish or Olmish?”
“Aren’t we one and the same these days?”
“I suppose.”
“Would it be a problem if they were Olmish?”
“Only so much as the Olmish are fighting with the courts right now.”
“I am well aware, and what is there to do? Who do I secede the seats to? Who do I ask to take those problems away from me, without giving them to my mother?”
“Your brother or sister perhaps? Or, if not them, someone, at the very least, who is Kosh born.”
“That is the dilemma, as most people I would think to do such a thing have left the country. But there are still options. Well, it is almost done now. Thank you for your counsel and help, Sir Coffin." I said and he nodded his head.
"It was nothing my lord. Well, I should get going, give you your privacy," Sir Coffin said and bowed to us before leaving me to the halls.
Ashling and I sat in the study for a long while longer in silence, I curled against his side and closed my eyes.
Chapter 18
I walked to the table of liqueurs, and I poured myself a heavy whiskey.
"Whiskey for the nerves?" I asked Ashling.
"Whiskey is for everything," he agreed and I poured him a heavy glass.
“Since when are we lovers?” Asked Ashling and I smiled at him over the rim of my cup and laughed a little, shaking my head.
“I thought it would be shocking for her. I’m sorry.” I said, collapsing into the chair
“It's alright, I wouldn’t quite mind.” Ashling said, stepping closer to me and kneeling on the floor in front of the chair.
“Ashling, no,” I mumbled, and he put his head against my chest.
“I want you. Not like this, not now, but I want to be with you.”
“I’ve never done this,” I said. “I told Liz that my family has a curse on it. I don’t know, maybe we do. Grandfather never married again after my grandmother died in childbirth. My father died due to a bullet wound trying to protect my sister's virtue. What does all of that say about the love lives of my family members? How does it bode for me?”
“You're thinking too much again,” Ashling said, kissing my neck and a thrill went through me as I gasped for air.
“Ashling,” I said his name and pushed him away looking into his eyes.
“I know, I know.” He said, his face looked sad and tired. “I can wait, as long as it may take,” he said and kissed my hand.
“Come on, let's go watch the pyre for a bit.” Ashling stood up and I took his hand and was reassured that he was mine by just that simple action.
“I don’t know if anyone has been sitting with him.” I look out the window and see several body’s standing against the night and smile.
As we step into the cooler outdoors and let the breeze sweep over us, I look up at Ashling and smile at him.
“Thank you for being with me. I don’t know what I would have done without you today.”
“It was nothing. It’s easy to be strong for someone else when you...” his voice faded away and then he looked up into the sky.
“Do you think he would have liked me?” Ashling asked.
I chuckled and smiled at him genuinely and bright. “That one time you met him, when we brought him to bed and he asked to speak with me alone, he was trying to convince me to marry you. I think he liked you, he said you were the good sort, and I can’t disagree.”
“I suppose if it is his dying wish, I could marry you.” He said with a smile.
“Olm?” I said, as if reminding him of his promise to me the night before.
“Home.” He nodded and that seemed to be enough. We approached the fire and Annette turned to me with a smile on her face.
“Dannie,” she said and came over to me, taking my hand in her own.
“Hello again, I’m glad you stayed. Are you staying the night?”
“Could we? Dreadful drive back,” said James. Annette’s husband smiled at us. He had dark skin and curly hair, full lips and a sharp nose. His eyes were large, and out behind his back were two fluttering wings of silver that glimmered in the moonlight. I remembered suddenly why Annette and my mother were on bad terms and wanted to ask a question but thought it not the right time.
“Of course, and how are you James? It's been an awful long time.” I offered my hand to my sister's husband.
“Oh well, I understand things happen my Lord.” James bowed to me, and I smiled at him. He was a good man. He was a much better man than anyone my mother had intended for Annette.
“James, we are family. You can just call me Dan.” I smiled widely at him, and he smiled and bowed his head to me in reverence.
“Annette, I do not recall in any of your letters about the children, do they have wings?”
“Wings? Why yes,” Annette said, reaching out anxiously for her husband's hand, as if she had this conversation many times and it made her very nervous that I might bring it up.
“You didn’t, um, you didn’t clip them, did you?”
