Caddy ever after, p.12
Caddy Ever After, page 12
Kiran and Mummy have met before, so I did not have to explain them to each other.
‘Hello, Mrs Casson!’ said Kiran.
‘Kiran . . . (sneeze) how lovely . . . (sneeze) Call me . . . (sneeze) Eve, darling,’ said my mother, her face muffled in a handful of kitchen roll as she backed away like mad. ‘Rose, I won’t kiss you because I think I may have caught something (sneeze-gasp-sneeze). I am going to go and have it in private in the shed . . . (sneeze).’
‘Oh!’
‘One huge germ,’ continued Mummy, pointing to her head to make things quite clear. ‘So off I go! Hope you had a lovely day at . . .’ (she sneezed so hugely that the sleeping bag fell around her knees) ‘. . . school?’
‘No,’ I said. ‘It was terrible. I’ve told you before. It gets awfuller every day.’
But I don’t think Mummy heard. She was concentrating on recapturing the sleeping bag. Saffy heard instead. She came out of the house just in time. Saffy is my other sister (i.e. the one who is not Caddy). Saffron: seventeen, stunningly beautiful, super-intelligent, and not to be argued with.
‘What gets awfuller every day?’ she demanded, herding Kiran and me into the kitchen and then rushing about collecting things for Extra Spanish which she does after school two days each week because she is so brainy. ‘You’re not ill too, are you, Rose? Perhaps you should go and live with Mummy in the shed. Indigo and I could leave you supplies at the door as if you had the plague. Don’t look like that, Kiran! She would love it!’
Yes I would.
No school.
It was a wonderful idea and I was about to start fake sneezing straight away when Kiran said, ‘She isn’t ill at all. It is Mr Spencer that gets more awful every day.’
‘Never heard of him,’ said Saffron, with her head in her bag.
‘Our new class teacher. He doesn’t like any of us. Do you know what he said to me last week? He said, “Kiran, you will undoubtedly find yourself in well justified but colossal trouble one day if you do not learn to understand the vital difference between plain fact and paparazzi-style fantasy!” That’s what Mr Spencer said. I wrote it down.’
‘Tell him less is more when it comes to adjectives,’ said Saffron, sounding very uninterested. ‘And pass me that blue file, please!’
‘He says we are all immature,’ continued Kiran (passing it). ‘And he says however will Rose manage at Big School in less than one year’s time if she cannot read!’
By this time Sarah, Saffron’s best friend, had arrived because she does Extra Spanish too. Sarah has a wheelchair that she uses for transport, emotional blackmail in queues, as an occasional weapon, and as a convenient place to hug people from. I got a quick, protective wheelchair hug as she exclaimed, ‘Of course Rose can read! What’s the man talking about?’
‘Books,’ explained Kiran.
‘Books?’
‘You know how Rose doesn’t read books? Mr Spencer can’t take it. She stares out of the window and it makes him so mad he—’
‘I didn’t know Rose didn’t read books,’ interrupted Sarah. ‘What, never, Rose? Not even at school?’
‘Lazy little disgrace!’ remarked Saffron.
‘You don’t know how it is at our school!’ I said, defending myself. ‘If you finish one book, they make you pick another. And as soon as you finish that, they send you off again. And each book is a little bit harder than the one before. It’s just like a story Indigo once told me about a dragon with two heads. And when the dragon’s two heads were cut off, it grew four. And when they were cut off it grew eight . . .’
‘I’ve never heard such rubbish!’ said Saffron.
‘It’s true! Do you know what happened when Kiran finished all the books in the school library last year? They got extra money from the PTA and ordered two hundred more!’
‘Actually I was pleased . . .’ murmured Kiran.
‘So at school now I just . . .’
‘Hand over your school bag!’ ordered Saffron.
‘. . . usually . . .’
Saffron turned my bag upside down and grabbed a book from the heap of junk that fell out.
‘. . . draw.’
To be continued . . .
Praise for Caddy Ever After
‘Full of warmth, vitality and irrepressible good humour’ Guardian
‘McKay has a genius for domestic comedy’ Sunday Times
‘More entrancing stories about the quirky Casson family’ Carousel
‘Eccentric, likable and entirely credible, their domestic exchanges reflect Hilary McKay’s exceptional ear for dialogue’ Julia Eccleshare, Guardian
‘Warm and witty’ Financial Times
‘Just the sort of crazy family you ache to be a part of’ Good Book Guide
‘We are so fond of this fresh, funny, foolish, wise, real family’ Horn Book Magazine
‘As wild and endearing as ever . . . Another charmer for
Casson fans’ Booklist
‘Laced with warmth, humour and adventures’ Kirkus
‘. . . touching and hilarious. Beautifully crafted descriptive language makes this offering a real gem’ School Library Journal
Also by Hilary McKay
from Macmillan Children’s Books
CASSON FAMILY
(suggested reading order)
Saffy’s Angel
Indigo’s Star
Permanent Rose
Caddy Ever After
Forever Rose
Caddy’s World
THE EXILES SERIES
The Exiles
The Exiles at Home
The Exiles in Love
The Skylarks’ War
Winner of the Costa Children’s Book Awards
The Swallows’ Flight
The Time of Green Magic
Straw into Gold: Fairy Tales Re-spun
First published in Great Britain in 2006 by Hodder and Stoughton
This electronic edition published 2021 by Macmillan Children’s Books
an imprint of Pan Macmillan
The Smithson, 6 Briset Street, London EC1M 5NR
EU representative: Macmillan Publishers Ireland Limited,
Mallard Lodge, Lansdowne Village, Dublin 4
Associated companies throughout the world
www.panmacmillan.com
ISBN 978-1-5290-3324-3
Copyright © Hilary McKay 2006, 2021
Cover illustration by studiohelen.co.uk
The extract from the tenth-century Irish poem, ‘Round the tree of life, the flowers . . .’ is by kind permission of Professor Brendan Kennelly, whose adaptation is reproduced here.
The right of Hilary McKay to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
Pan Macmillan does not have any control over, or any responsibility for, any author or third-party websites referred to in or on this book.
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Hilary McKay, Caddy Ever After
