Seikou, p.17
Seikou, page 17
part #3 of Ren'Ai Rensai Series
It subsided as they cuddled, Aiko beneath Reina in a return to proper form. Communication was a wordless affair: the only necessary movements were careful caresses and nose rubbings.
After Aiko regained her bearings, she said, “Give me another minute and I’ll be ready to do whatever you want. Do you know what you want to do?”
Flashes of more erotic poses from the classic tribadism to asserting herself as male with a sex toy danced before Reina’s eyes. Anything would be wonderful. But none of them spoke to her current state of mind.
“I want you.” She rubbed her thumb over Aiko’s ear.
“Well, I should hope so.”
“No.” Reina’s hand glided down her wife’s spine, nails scratching over skin. “I want you to use that lovely tongue of yours to tell me how much you love me.”
Aiko’s eyes widened. “What’s gotten into you today?”
Reina smiled. “Hopefully, you.”
Before Aiko could stutter her surprise, Reina lifted her up into a kiss comprising both their wandering tongues. She explored the inside of her wife’s mouth: the underside of her tongue, the back of her teeth, the roof of her palate. Once Aiko eased into the motions of lovemaking again, she gently pushed Reina, willing her to return to her side of the bed.
She fell onto her pillow with the knowledge she may never move from that position again. That’s all right. Aiko clung to her, her familiar touch and scent the only things Reina needed for reassurance. She closed her eyes to her reflection hanging a few meters away.
“Daisuki no yo.” Aiko’s voice entered her ear on the flimsiest string of air. “I will kiss every part of you.”
She started with the lips, their old kiss resuming its former flames – but Aiko’s tongue was in control now, dominating Reina’s whenever it tried to enter her mouth. A hand stroked her breasts. Aiko’s thumb massaged one of Reina’s nipples and made her whimper like a virgin. I haven’t been one since three-hundred women ago. Aiko’s magic both confused and seduced her. Anyone who makes me feel like this is either a witch or my wife. Maybe both.
Aiko’s lips diverted, taking her tongue with her to her spouse’s cheek. Nothing about her kisses was mild or meek – she explored every facet of Reina’s face with a tongue deft enough to tame the wildest philanderer. As it lingered in her right ear, Reina struggled to contain the feminine groans coming from her throat.
“Like this?” Aiko whispered into her ear.
She gasped.
Her wife kissed her once more before descending to her throat. By that time Reina acquiesced to Aiko, for better or worse.
As long she didn’t open her eyes, Reina could thaw beneath her wife’s adoration with all the enjoyment possible. When was the last time they made love like this? When was the last time Reina let another woman pay attention to her like this? Never. Was it true? Not even Aiko? Had her lips really never passed over every patch of Reina’s skin, from her throat to her wrists, her chest to her navel? Not at once. No, not at once. Reina never knew how to relax and enjoy another woman’s attentions without asserting herself somewhere in the process. Her body tingled in desire, the kind of desire she figured only women experienced: the desire to have her lover inside her.
Her hands searched for things to grab as Aiko lingered over her breasts, her tongue giving each nipple a thorough thrice-over. For someone who had never had breasts sizable enough to warrant wearing a bra, Reina was amazed this attention could make her feel so feminine. Feminine enough to whine her satisfaction as she mauled a pillow with one hand and grabbed Aiko’s hair with the other. As every lick rocketed pleasure to Reina’s mind, they in turn vibrated through the back of Aiko’s skull.
Not until she finished fondling breasts did Reina realize how much her hips scurried on the bed and her legs tangled together. She’s going to destroy me. Aiko left sloppy kisses along Reina’s sides and pulled away from one grabby hand. Her tongue entered Reina’s navel and pushed the button there.
The closer she came to Reina’s pelvis, the closer her spouse got to either coming or panicking. If this sort of lovemaking made her feel more feminine, she didn’t know if she could handle being licked down there. No. Some places were still too intimate to disturb. Yes. Some places needed disturbing.
If anyone can do it… Aiko bypassed Reina’s hips and resumed kissing her by the knee. So that was her game. Reina’s temporary reprieve was shattered when her wife tickled the bottom of her foot.
She almost didn’t notice Aiko’s insidious actions, for she was so drawn into the nips at the ankle and the kisses to the calves. But every roll of her wife’s tongue brought Reina’s legs further apart, until she felt the clash of air diving into her open omanko. A bolt of panic shot up her spine, but Aiko’s hands were there, massaging away the tension from her hips.
Her legs drew up, almost involuntarily – almost, because in the far reaches of Reina’s mind she wanted it. She wanted her wife to enter her there as much as she wanted to take another breath. God, this is what it feels like! She sobbed in pleasurable surprise as Aiko’s tongue dove between shaking legs.
Clarity was lost and regained with every careful lap of the tongue: lost when it started near Reina’s opening and flicked upwards between her folds, regained when it lifted from both. In the few moments of lucidity, Reina became hyper aware of Aiko’s love for her, and she called her response to the ceiling above.
Aiko was a tender lover, but also a naughty one. When Reina moaned incomprehensible words for the third time, Aiko punched her tongue into her spouse’s opening as if she had always done so. Toes curled and sweat pounded down Reina’s brow. Her hands strangled the pillow and comforter.
Fuck me. Shame filled her from her stomach to her heart as she thought those words. Please, fuck me. She wanted it. She wanted her wife inside her, all of her, as deep as she could go until she found that shame and suffocated it with her loving grasp. “Irete!” she wailed. She didn’t recognize her own voice.
Reina also didn’t recognize the voice crying into a pillow as Aiko pushed her fingers inside. It sounded like some other woman’s, a woman who lurked inside her, only to appear in sultry reflections. Fuck her! No longer was that a curse. The rising heat in the pit of Reina’s stomach boiled the shame inside, and with its screams came her own demon’s, its make-up melting and golden earrings blasting into dust.
Her body ejected the shame the moment her unassuming wife removed her fingers.
It felt liberating to rid herself of that shame. After its first steady stream it trickled down into a pitiful pool of tears.
“Ara!” Aiko’s surprise managed to bring Reina back from her triumphant fight with the dead. “It’s all over me!”
Reina opened her eyes. Aiko shook her hand and wiped fluids off her face.
“Gomen.” Reina eased into the bed.
“Iya. Don’t worry about it.” A diabolical smile crossed Aiko’s otherwise sweet face. “Think you could do it again?”
Of course she could. Reina had hoarded a lot of shame over the years. And it wasn’t the first time she accidentally ejaculated onto some unsuspecting woman…nor would it be the last.
Their new routine was a team effort to evict every last drop of shame from Reina’s body. Aiko taunted it with her fingers, each one delving deeper than the last and searching every cache; Reina gathered the courage to kick it out herself, and every time she felt another burst coming on she yelled so her wife could move out of the way. Sometimes though, she didn’t, and she took that shame into her own body, where Reina could only assume it would be destroyed.
“I love you so much.” Aiko continued to encourage her. “Give me everything you have.”
Those relentless fingers and that fearless tongue drove Reina to sit up and grab her wife’s head, holding it down until she choked on the shame-laden aieki tearing out of her spouse’s body. Reina collapsed again and dropped her legs.
Aiko’s fingers gently pet the enflamed lips between legs. “You still haven’t come yet.”
Reina accepted a last kiss to the vulva. “I can’t yet.”
“Tell me what I can do.”
So much. An orgasm lurked inside her, left in the wake of her previous deeds. She inhaled the air that smelled of her sex and convinced herself she was prepared for what would finish this once and for all. To reclaim the person she once was and could be again.
“I’m ready.”
Aiko showed the slightest shock. She knew it. After one last kiss to the thigh she crawled to the edge of the bed. Thumps and screeches sounded, and soon the small blue toy emerged.
“No, not that one.”
“No?”
Reina averted her eyes. “It has to be mine.”
The pause in the air was not reassuring. “Are you sure? Reina, what if…”
“Do it.” She fought to keep her legs open. If I close them, it’ll all be over, and the shame will accumulate again.
Another pause. “Whatever you want.”
Reina didn’t “want” it. She needed it. All of it. The whole experience. She heard the straps whip against the nightstand. My straps. She heard Aiko curse as she fought to get it on. My role. She heard the familiar whumps of her other appendage hitting the bed covers. My body.
“Turn off the light. Please.”
Aiko hesitated before slinking off the bed and turning off the overhead light, casting the bedroom into a dark grotto. The lamp on Aiko’s side of the bed was still on, but it wasn’t enough to ban the encroaching shadows in the room.
Her wife straddled her, straps digging into Reina’s stomach. “Are you sure about this? It’s bigger. It might hurt you.”
Reina cupped her wife’s cheek. “You’re the one who told me that a body could accommodate that sort of thing.”
“Yes, but with practice.”
“It’s not that big.” It had to be small enough to hide in her clothing, after all.
“For you it might be.”
When Reina said nothing, Aiko maneuvered herself between her spouse’s legs again. The once gracious hole trembled. Fear attempted to creep into Reina’s heart, but she told herself how good it felt to have the woman she loved pushing her body to its limits. I want this. And I want it with no one else.
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes. Do you trust me?”
Aiko pushed her hair behind her ears. “More than anyone else.”
“Then I have nothing to fear.” I have everything to fear.
To stimulate Reina into the right frame of mind again, Aiko lowered her mouth and repeated their actions from earlier. Even Reina was surprised at how much more she had of “herself” inside her. She relaxed with all the ease she could muster, responding to her wife’s sweet words and strokes. After the last, languished expulsion, Aiko ran her fingers up and down her spouse’s labia, testing its adequacy. More than wet enough.
Reina wrapped herself in a cocoon where no one but Aiko was allowed. No one. That included the multiple parts of herself. There was no longer any room for both male and female inside her, only Reina.
Only me.
And no one could be so gentle, so understanding as Aiko, who eased Reina’s sex open with her fingers and inserted the head of her spouse’s phallus. Reina took a deep breath and calmed the nerves inside her. Now it truly will become a part of me.
She pictured Aiko in her memory, lying on their bed, legs spread and in the air, while her omanko received the fucking she had begged for. She makes it look like it feels so good. Aiko had a body and mind built to take that kind of lovemaking. Maybe Reina did too, since she did not halt the phallus turned against her, slowly entering.
Her body stretched with eagerness, just as Aiko said it would. Grateful for that, at least. My god! A fullness she hadn’t experienced since her teenage years overcame her. When it was in as deep as it could go, Reina realized her phallus fit her perfectly. It would.
Hence her sadness when Aiko eased it out. For that Reina whimpered again, her body incomplete without it. Aiko asked her if she was okay, if they should stop, if it was fine. All Reina could request was that she never pull it out again.
“Fuck me,” she finally said out loud.
She got her wish.
Reina would never have the right words to describe those first few minutes, when everything she had known for over twenty years crashed like the mirror on the wall. Peaceful. Right. Good. None of those words quite covered the extent of her battling emotions. The intensity of the moment, in which she felt her sex accept a thorough fucking from the mold of a male’s genitalia, went beyond her head and settled in the back of her mind. The intimacy, however, was not lost on her. She was aware of Aiko’s loving countenance, the thrusts of her hand, the quips of her tongue when it too joined in. Reina’s own phallus burrowed inside her, but Aiko’s heart guided it. No one else.
Something pined inside her, once she had her breath back. An orgasm. The one waiting for its arrival. It staggered in and out along with the pulses of the phallus, teasing her. She could feel it growing stronger with every second; she wanted it as much as she needed this moment.
“Please,” she said, her own sweat falling into her mouth. “Ai-chan, I need you.”
The emptiness left behind when Aiko pulled out was large enough to take back in all that shame. But Reina was done with it. She swore it. She just needed this last thing, this last one before she could put it all behind her and move on with her life. She needed what Aiko was about to do, her face stern and her fingers attaching Reina’s phallus to herself.
“Give me the full experience.” Reina took her hand. “Do me like I would do you.”
“Words and all?”
Reina released her hand. “All of it.”
Aiko nodded and fell on top of her.
Wherever that tender lovemaking from before went, it was gone now, perhaps never to return. Reina sank beneath the weight of her wife and wrapped her legs around her. It took only seconds for their bodies to reconnect, the fullness returning to Reina’s groin…and her ego.
But now all of Aiko’s strength was on the other side of it, thrusting into her with the vigor usually seen going in the opposite direction. She rubbed her chest against Reina’s and bit her skin, her hands holding her spouse down and her hips bucking against her. Pain seethed a little in Reina’s pelvis, but she convinced herself it was pleasurable, and soon, it was.
“Ii kimochi!” her voice screeched between breaths. She didn’t have time to wonder where that hyper-feminine ring came from.
“You like that?” Aiko’s was deep, rough. She learned that from hearing me talk. “You like it when I fuck you like this?”
The phallus stalled inside her – Reina arched her neck and groaned into the open air.
“You want more? I’ll make you feel like a woman.” She licked Reina’s throat. “Do you want to feel like a woman?”
“Yes.” For once in my life.
Reina had no idea all those sensations could become more intense, rocking her body up and down while it responded with hungry ardor. Her identity careened from her soul and escaped through the window; her tired thighs rose to meet the phallus plummeting into her over and over again.
“Tell me you want it.” How could Aiko keep talking like that? “Tell me you want me to come inside you.”
That’s not Ai-chan’s voice. Aiko spoke the words but they weren’t her own. They were Reina’s. Male Reina’s. In the split second their eyes met in the darkness, Reina saw herself in her wife’s face, which could only mean…
It’s me. That woman in the mirror, telling her how good it felt to get fucked, telling her how much she should want to be a woman instead of a man, whatever those words meant. Whatever gender was. I’m that woman.
“I want it!” Even her voice belonged to that woman, higher than any notes Reina had allowed herself to utter in years. “I want you to come inside me like a man!”
Wherever male Reina was, he gloated to hear it.
“Take it! Take it like a woman, then!”
The moment Aiko’s possessed voice floated away, Reina did as commanded, her body opening up below in order to take her to nirvana above. Her own phallus reached her heart, the intense sensation of her male self claiming the female self pushing her to the limits of her existence as merely a human being.
She was whole.
The rarity of Aiko going to Shinjuku by herself was enough to alert the local media. Perhaps she had only gone solo a handful of times in her life, and that was years before, when she had it in her head to join some lesbian feminist groups. Since then the only times Aiko ventured into Shinjuku alone was when she wanted to look at something in the lesbian bookstore – and that happened about once every three years.
What propelled her to sneak downtown that day was both a sense of curiosity and a drive to put a final lock on the closure she still craved. Thanks to handy cell phone technology, she and her GPS managed to find her intended destination in less than ten minutes.
The Peach Blossom sat a few blocks from the main road through Ni-chome, but its colorful rainbow posters and fliers depicting local LGBT events gave it away as another of Shinjuku’s gay-friendly abodes. A pair of men walked out holding a bag between them, a handkerchief draped over their holding hands. After so many years, Aiko had learned to look for the signs of a covert gay couple.
She put her phone in her purse and crossed the street.
The scent of teas hit her face before she was through the door. A bell jingled at her arrival, and somebody in the back corner called a lackluster “Irasshaimase” from the floor. Nobody stood behind the front counter.
Aiko remained in the middle of the small shop, unsure of where to look. Then the person in the corner stood up – Haruka, with her stylish hair and cropped jacket layered over a clingy T-shirt. Aiko clutched her purse as if it would run away from her.
“Can I help…” Haruka spun around, inventory clipboard in hand. The moment she recognized Aiko, however, she stopped, her countenance paling.
Clearing her throat, Aiko nodded her head and said, “Hello, Haruka-san.”
