No murder here, p.28
No Murder Here, page 28
‘And what a remarkable thing this clameur is,’ Hermitage said. ‘Imagine anyone being able to simply recite a plea for aid from the duke, and he is bound to respond. Anyone wronged can say a few words and their claim has to be heard in court.
'Duke William takes it so seriously that he wants this one looked into.'
Ranulph de Sauveloy stifled a yawn.
‘Now, of course, Duke William is King William of England.’ Hermitage looked directly at de Sauveloy, his exposition giving him a courage he never usually possessed.
‘What if King William wanted to introduce a clameur for England?’
There was the slightest twitch at this from de Sauveloy.
Wat whistled long and slow. 'All those Norman nobles helping themselves to great swathes of the country would have clameurs coming out of their ears. I'll warrant there would be a good long list against Lord de Sauveloy himself.'
‘I’ve seen no sign of us getting one,’ Cwen complained.
'Not yet,' Hermitage agreed. 'But wouldn't it be better for those nobles if such a thing never happened? In fact, wouldn't it be better if the clameur vanished from everywhere? Gernesey included?
‘And what more certain way to make people decide a clameur was not the way to go, if everyone who declared one died?’
‘What a fanciful mind you have,’ de Sauveloy chuckled insincerely.
‘So, who killed Pierre?’ Cwen asked. ‘I think we all agree that this is just the sort of scheme Lord de Sauveloy would come up with, but we have to admit that he hasn’t been here. Unless he has?’
Hermitage shook his head. ‘No, I think he has arrived only recently, but strangely, he has come straight to visit Mauger and Thoret and not the island officials.
‘Why come all the way to Saint’s Bay to see an exiled archbishop who rebelled against the duke?’
‘I said I wouldn’t put anything past Thoret,’ Wat said with a contemptuous look for the skeletal familiar. ‘Mind you, if it was him who attacked Preauex, he’s not much of a brute, is he?’
‘This next bit is speculation,’ Hermitage admitted.
‘I think you’ll find it is all speculation,’ de Sauveloy drawled.
Hermitage ignored him. ‘The erstwhile Archbishop Mauger may well harbour ambition to recover his position, which would make him a cooperative fellow. Someone close to the king could get him to do as he pleased.
‘He and Thoret could have been told to look out for a clameur and then to take action. The devil Adel reported could have been real.’
He looked to Thoret who helpfully cackled madly.
‘And the poor woman only raised the clameur because a bit of cloth washed up at her door,’ Wat accused Thoret directly, but the peculiar man took no notice.
‘And then, when Adel went and died of shock, instead of being murdered, a knife in Pierre. And an attack on Preauex. And leave the knife in the boy to let everyone know what has happened.’
'Why us?' Cwen asked. 'This all seems a hideously complicated way to go about things. Why send three Saxons into the middle of all this? Why not proper Norman officials who would know what they were dealing with?'
‘I suspect that Norman officials were exactly what the king wanted,’ Hermitage said. ‘They would have known all about the clameur and would have closed the business in no time.
‘In fact, he may even have said that we were the last people who should be allowed anywhere near this. But the message was diverted, distorted. Deliberately.’
‘In the hope that we would never get to the bottom of it, because we were Saxons and wouldn’t have a clue what was going on.’ Cwen nodded. ‘Which we didn’t.’
‘And people would simply start to think that raising a clameur was as good as a death sentence.’
‘Lord de Sauveloy could then report to the king that the whole thing had gone horribly wrong, and perhaps it would be best if there were no such thing as a clameur anymore,’ Hermitage concluded.
There was a silence in the room before the seneschal spoke up in a weak voice. ‘I only came here because Mauger wants to marry my niece.’
‘Bad luck,’ Wat said.
Ranulph de Sauveloy clapped his hands together and rubbed them as if they were cold.
‘Well, this has all been very interesting, and a fascinating little tale. Unfortunately, it is all complete nonsense. How three Saxons can come up with such a fancy is beyond me.’
‘Nothing to do with you, at all?’ Wat said. ‘In which case, I suppose the clameur fails and Preauex gets the wreck?’ He spoke as if discussing the weather.
De Sauveloy waved a hand that this was of little interest, and never had been.
‘Of course,’ Cwen said. ‘When we get back, we probably need to report to the king. As he wanted this looked into, we had better tell him what we found.’
‘Get back?’ De Sauveloy sounded puzzled.
‘Back to England,’ Cwen specified.
Wat had a horrible look on his face that said he knew there was a problem with this. 'The king doesn't know we're here, does he? He's not expecting us to report anything.'
The silence between the Saxons said that they all saw the problem now.
‘Why, I do believe that’s right.’ De Sauveloy sounded as if he was grateful someone had pointed this out as he would never have thought of it himself.
‘But,’ Hermitage began. ‘We have our instruction from the king.’ He scrabbled about and found the parchment. He held it out for de Sauveloy who opened it up. As he did so, Hermitage realised that he had just very effectively argued that this wasn’t from the king at all.
‘Hm,’ the Norman said, regaining some of his control. ‘This appears to be very bad Latin from someone called Urse d’Abetot.’ He turned it over and considered the scribbles on the back. ‘And the Standard Bearer? What on earth do these people have to do with any of this?’
‘D’Abetot is one of your commanders,’ Cwen said sharply.
‘Is he, indeed? Well, I shall have to find him and have words. He can’t go around usurping the king’s word like this. His interference has led to the wrong people being sent.’ De Sauveloy shook his head and tutted. ‘This thing most certainly did not come from the king’s scribes. Shocking.’ He didn’t look shocked.
‘And we know too much,’ Wat said with resignation. ‘We can’t be allowed to go back and tell anyone. If William holds this clameur thing dear, and de Sauveloy has been scheming against it, the archbishop won’t be the only one in exile.’
Hermitage swallowed. It was all very well uncovering deceit in high places, but things falling from high places did the most damage. They were three Saxons on a distant Norman island. No one would ever know what happened to them.
‘He can’t kill us,’ Cwen said, although she didn’t sound convinced. ‘The next time William wants a real murder dealt with and sends for Hermitage, the workshop will say that we went to Gernesey.’
Ranulph didn't seem concerned about this. 'When we last spoke, I don't think the king could even recall who you were.'
‘I’m sure he’ll remember me,’ Wat said. ‘The one who did all those disgusting tapestries? He’s bound to wonder where I’ve gone. If only to complain about me.’
‘You flatter yourself,’ de Sauveloy said.
‘He frequently does,’ Cwen muttered miserably.
‘What is to be done, then?’ Hermitage asked. He realised that they were entirely at de Sauveloy’s mercy. If they vanished, never to be seen again, they would be just three more Saxons who weren’t around anymore.
He was sure that Hartle and the others at the workshop would ask after them, but that might not be for months. After all, they had left with the serious possibility that they wouldn’t be coming back anyway.
‘He shouldn’t kill us,’ Wat said as if negotiating the price of a tapestry.
De Sauveloy raised his eyebrows.
‘Once we’re dead, we’re dead. Gone and gone.’
The Norman looked as if he liked the sound of that.
‘So, we can never be brought back if needed. Never presented to the king if he ever did ask for us. Never used as an excuse for why everything went wrong on Gernesey. Wretched Saxons, what can you expect?
‘And they went there of their own accord, without any instruction from the king.’ Wat nodded. ‘I think Lord de Sauveloy is a clever fellow. He wouldn’t throw something away that might get him out of trouble in the future.’
‘Now you flatter me,’ de Sauveloy said.
Wat held his hands out in acknowledgement.
He considered them all very carefully, and even Hermitage could tell that at this moment, their very lives were in the balance.
‘You know,’ the Norman said thoughtfully. ‘If there’s one thing this whole sorry business has shown me, it is that the island could really do with someone to look into things like this should they ever happen again.
‘The Seneschal and the greffier are all well and good, but we don’t have a, erm..,’
‘Investigator?’ Hermitage offered and hoped it was willingly.
‘Just so.’
‘Derby is our home,’ Cwen pleaded.
‘Home is where I say it is,’ de Sauveloy said with a flash of his true nature. ‘Unless you’d prefer me to arrange your graves somewhere local?’
‘We have to stay here?’ Hermitage asked, his voice breaking.
‘You can’t do this,’ Cwen insisted, sounding on the verge of tears.
‘Mauger here has been exiled for rebelling against the duke. Think of this as your exile for rebelling against me.’
‘I wasn’t aware that we served you,’ Cwen said bitterly.
‘Which is probably where you’ve gone wrong,’ de Sauveloy said nonchalantly. ‘Of course, anyone who demonstrates loyalty can hope for their exile to be ended.’
‘Oh, really?’ Wat asked with interest. ‘Could it be that Archbishop Mauger was promised that his exile might be ended if he cooperated with the right people over the clameur?’
De Sauveloy did not reply.
‘I imagine he’s going to be disappointed,’ Wat added.
‘And how are we supposed to demonstrate loyalty?’ Cwen demanded.
De Sauveloy shrugged. ‘Absolutely no idea.’ He smiled at them all in that annoying manner he had, the one that said he had power over everyone and there was nothing anyone could do about it, and they had better simply acknowledge that he had won. Again. ‘But you’ll have plenty of time to think about it.’
‘We have to stay here,’ Hermitage repeated, this time with heart-sinking resignation. ‘Wait ‘till we tell Egland, he’s going to be furious.’
Finis.
Brother Hermitage’s Gernesey Chronicle continues with
“Not Another Murder”
coming soon.
Historical notes: Yes, really!
The Lord’s Prayer in Guernesiase, George Metivier, published by Louis Bonaparte, London 1863.
The Clameur de Haro remains a legal instrument in Guernsey. The cry must be ‘Haro! Haro! Haro! A l’aide mon Prince, on me fait tort’, followed by the Lord’s Prayer in French. It was raised on 16th February 2023, concerning a disputed property inheritance. Ref_i
“Turstinus filius Rollonis vexillum Normannorum portavit” ("Turstin son of Rollo carried the standard of the Normans.) He was the third to be asked, the previous two having turned it down, much to William’s annoyance. Ref_ii
Duke Robert, William's grandfather, was driven to Guernsey by a storm and received hospitality from the monks of the Vale for which he granted them land. He had fortifications improved and had the bridge known as the Devil's bridge constructed. Ref_iii
Urse d'Abetot (c. 1040 - 1108) was a Norman who followed King William I to England and became Sheriff of Worcestershire. Ref_iv
William reallocated land in the islands to gain support from Norman nobles, including giving Alderney to the Bishop of Coutances. Ref_v
Samson d’Anneville was sent by William to repel ravagers who had landed on the west coast. Ref_vi
Archbishop Mauger was Duke William’s uncle and excommunicated him. For this, and for being involved in rebellion against the duke, he was banished to Guernsey where he went to Saint’s Bay, and practised magic with his familiar, Thoret. He took a local wife by the name of Gille and had many children. Ref_vii
Up until the 1900s, most islanders also believed in Pouquelayes, the sometimes helpful and often petulant Channel Island pixies who lived in the caves. Setting them apart from the others, the Sark Pouquelayes had detachable heads and enjoyed smoking pipes. Ref_viii
Saint Magloire retired to Sark where he established a monastery. Ref_ix
Most of the rest was made up. Ref_x
i The Guernsey Press, 17 February 2023
ii Orderic Vitalis, Historia Ecclesiastica
iii The Story of the Channel Islands, 1966, Uttley, J. Faber and Faber p34
iv Oxford Dictionary of National Biography
v The Story of the Channel Islands, 1966, Uttley, J. Faber and Faber p34
vi Guernsey, A History, Whelan, K, 2023, Writers Block Guernsey
vii The Story of the Channel Islands, 1966, Uttley, J. Faber and Faber p45
viii www.Sark.co.uk
ix The Story of the Channel Islands, 1966, Uttley, J. Faber and Faber p26
x No Murder Here, 2024, Warwick, H of, The Funny Book Company.
1 The Case of the Curious Corpse; very awkward indeed.
2 Hermitage, Wat and Some Murder or Other; he does get about.
3 Hermitage, Wat and Some Druids; pretty poor, as experiences go.
4 Honest and fighting in several of the Chronicles.
5 In The Garderobe of Death; it’s a book.
6 Brother Hermitage’s Christmas Gift references Griffins and how much they’re worth.
7 The Bayeux Embroidery; the boat was more in charge, really.
8 The Hermes Parchment; full of it.
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Howard of Warwick, No Murder Here
