The female, p.30
The Female, page 30
Besides, I prefer to eat the snacks hidden in the bottom drawer of my desk.
Gray’s good about keeping it stocked, and he knows what I like.
I resist the urge to sigh as I glance at the clock. I’ve never thought or cared much about Gray’s schedule before, but now that he’s insisting I hang around Rock whenever he has to step away, I’m more interested than ever.
He only had time to hastily explain that he doesn’t trust Shay and is trying to keep me safe when he woke me up and dragged me out of bed this morning. I didn’t even get a warning that I would have a babysitter, and I don’t understand why I couldn’t stay in our room.
My eyes are still puffy with sleep, and I want to remain as hidden as possible. Last night was a moment of weakness, and I don’t want to see Aziel.
I don’t care about him, and I hope he knows that.
I’ve already decided I’m going to live in intentional blissful ignorance and pretend last night never happened. I didn’t watch Aziel fuck a carbon copy of me, and I sure as hell didn’t let Gray touch me while it happened.
“I’m going to wait in Gray’s office,” I decide.
Rock nods and follows me without a word, and I can’t help but glance at Aziel’s door as I leave my office. Gray didn’t tell me what his urgent meeting was about, but I’m willing to bet all three are in there right now.
I hope they’re not discussing me.
With a shake of my head, I push Gray’s office door open and welcome myself inside.
Rock continues reading his book as he finds his way to the couch in the corner of the room and plops down on it. I’m sure it’s not fun being woken up at the crack of dawn to babysit me, and Rock’s making his displeasure of it quite known.
I wander around Gray’s room and look at all his knickknacks before sitting in the chair behind his desk. I don’t usually come in here without him, but his meeting is now in its third hour and I’m bored.
I fish my translator out of my pocket before getting to work snooping through the papers on his desk. He always leaves it so messy, and I’ve been dying to organize it. How he gets anything done is beyond me.
Rock snorts, prompting me to turn to him with a playful glare.
“Something I can help you with?” I ask.
He makes a show of closing his book and setting it on his lap.
“I didn’t realize how much of a snoop you are.”
“I’m not snooping. I’m organizing.” I’m quick to defend myself. “Besides, don’t act like you haven’t peeked at their things now and again.”
Despite not seeing his face, I can tell he’s scowling. Rock’s in a mood this morning.
“No. Unlike you, I have self-restraint. Besides, if you get caught going through Gray’s things, he’ll probably get you off before shoving more food down your throat. The help doesn’t get the same, easy treatment.” Rock tilts his head back and runs his thumb across his throat for emphasis.
I shrug. I’m sure Gray wouldn’t kill somebody for going through his things. That’s dramatic, even for him.
Holding in a smirk, I level my gaze with Rock and lean back in Gray’s chair.
“Somebody sounds jealous,” I tease.
“Excuse me?”
“If you want Gray to touch your penis, I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to oblige. I can even put in a good word for you.” I laugh as Rock splutters and fumbles to grab his book.
I’m willing to bet his face would be beet-red if he were a human. I raise my eyebrows as Rock pretends to be so entranced by his book that he can’t even hear me. One point for me, zero for Rock.
As I begin translating the papers on Gray’s desk, I can’t help but wonder about Gray’s prior relationships with the staff. I’ve gathered that almost everybody is attracted to the sex demons. I’ve also concluded that the sex demons have no issues fulfilling those desires.
Has Gray ever been with Rock? The thought has never crossed my mind, but I hope he hasn’t. I know sex and intimacy are a necessity of survival for Gray, but it’d be nice not to constantly be surrounded by people who’ve touched his dick.
“Have you and Gray ever…?” I ask, hesitating and trailing off at the end.
Rock shakes his head.
“An incubus of his status would never be with a shadow. We can’t give him a satisfying feed, so it’d be pointless,” he explains, setting down his book. “It isn’t my place to comment on this, but I know our customs are new to you.”
Rock pauses and clears his throat, clearly uncomfortable. “Incubi are sought after, especially to the lower demons like me. Giving them away for an evening is a common gift among demons. I respect you enough to treat your offer as the joke I know you intended it to be, but most won’t.”
I grimace and look away, thoroughly embarrassed. I had no idea.
“Gray’s got enough weight with Aziel and Silas backing him that I’m sure he could get out of a promise without too much backlash, but it’d still reflect poorly on the house,” Rock continues, each word only furthering my shame.
The silence in the room is deafening as he returns to his book and I return to my translating, both of us pretending this conversation never happened. I’m thankful Rock knew it was only a lighthearted joke.
Gray would kill me if I offered him up and got him stuck in that position.
I glance at the clock again before returning to Gray’s papers. What are they talking about? Maybe Aziel is trying to convince them to send me back to the auction house.
I trust Gray wouldn’t let them do that, but the thought still sends shivers down my spine.
My spirits lift as I continue stacking and organizing Gray’s messy desk, the hardwood surface slowly coming into view. Either he will be happy I’ve taken the time to do this or annoyed I messed with his stuff, but that’s a bridge I’ll cross when I get to it.
I bend and pull open the drawers beneath his desk to look over the folders within them. My need to type everything into the translator slows me considerably, but thankfully, Gray isn’t one for decorative language. He’s straight to the point in his notes and labels.
My lips curl as the translator comes back with the word FEMALES, and I glance at Rock to ensure he isn’t looking before grabbing the file. I do my best to remain stealthy as I pull out the papers and begin to translate the headlines.
Gray’s been avoiding talking about it, but this is too perfect of an opportunity to pass up.
The headlines line up closely with what Silas told me the other day, and I let out a sigh of relief before continuing to flip through the stack. There are a few charts and lists that are quick to translate, and each one raises my spirits.
I don’t quite understand all the science, but from what I’m seeing, these odds don’t look too bad for most breeds. Some will go extinct, but most will see a full recovery if action is taken soon.
I’m practically bouncing as I resist the urge to squeal. I’ll ask Gray can read this to me later so I can hear all the intricate details. I’m sure I’m missing a ton by only getting the headlines.
My excitement grows as I continue my way through the stack. There’s an extensive timeline filling two pages near the middle, and I place them next to one another so I can view it in its entirety. My lips twitch as I try to make sense of it.
These dates are all in the past? I groan and type them into the translator for clarification, confused when they come out confirming my initial assumption.
“Rock?”
He hums, and seconds later, I hear the hushed rustle of fabric as he approaches.
“What are these dates?” I ask, assuming I’m misreading.
The demonic language is complicated on its best day.
Rock leans over and glances at the paper. He sucks on his teeth before going into teacher mode.
“This is going to be the day, this is going to be the month, and this is going to be the year,” he says, sliding his finger to each set of numbers.
I’m stunned, and I hardly listen as he explains the differences in how humans view time and yearly calendars. I don’t understand why these dates are so far in the past. Why would somebody create a report and give timelines for something that’s already happened?
I gulp before flipping to the very front of the report. Rock continues his one-sided conversation as I scan the sheet for a date.
There’s absolutely no way they’ve been sitting on this information. They’d never do that. Even Aziel, who’s a complete dick in every way, shape, and form, wouldn’t do that. There’s no way.
I shake my head as I find the date of the report listed on the backside of the first page. I type it into the translator to be sure.
They’ve had this information for fifty-four years.
Rock goes silent and begins to flip through the pages as he notices what I’m doing.
“What the fuck?” he whispers, his voice hushed and full of shock. “I knew they had some information on the females, but I had no idea it was this comprehensive.”
At least I’m not the only one who’s been left in the dark.
Rock reads aloud at my request, his words barely audible as he does his best to keep the trio in Aziel’s office from overhearing. I wring my hands underneath the table as I listen intently to the information he shares, my heart plummeting with each ominously written warning of danger and extinction.
The only warning I have of Gray’s return is the sudden gust of wind against my side as Rock hurries back to his spot on the couch. He gives me a sharp glance before burying his face in his book.
Gray busts into his office with a grin so wide, his eyes are practically shut. He nods toward Rock, his gaze moving briefly to the book in the shadow’s hands.
“Did you borrow that from Silas?” he asks. “He never lets me borrow his books.”
Rock grumbles, his ‘angry at being forced to babysit’ attitude back. “Yes. Some of us are actually careful with his things.”
Gray laughs, and Rock shoots me another sharp look before leaving the room.
I remain silent as Gray turns to me.
“I’m so sorry! That went on a lot longer than I expected,” he says. “Want to get some lunch?”
I don’t move. Gray cocks his head to the side, his eyebrows furrowing as he tries to figure out why I’m so angry. He blinks and steps forward to see what I have laid out on his desk. I watch recognition spread across his face as he realizes.
“Charlie, I ca—” he starts, stopping as I hold up my hand to stop him.
I point to the chair opposite his desk. “Sit.”
Gray looks scared as he lowers himself into the seat I point to, his expression similar to that of a dog cowering in the corner after being kicked. I don’t let up on my glare as I wait for him to get comfortable, my current disgust for him too great to hide.
“When did you find out about the females?” I ask, cutting straight to the point.
I refuse to let him skirt around the subject any longer. A small part of me hopes he’s going to tell me the report is misprinted and he hasn’t been sitting on this information for decades, but a larger part of me knows that’s not going to happen.
I visibly recoil when Gray responds with the year stated on the report, and the last bit of hope I was hanging on to dies. Gray winces at my body’s reaction to him, his shoulders rolling forward and chin dropping to his chest in what I assume is supposed to be a display of shame.
“Why?” I ask.
I can’t bring myself to look him in the eye as he shifts in his seat and sighs. Instead, I flip through the report until I reach the page on extinction. Dozens of breeds were estimated to be extinct in the next fifty years, and I feel an overwhelming sense of grief as I read through them.
This could have been prevented.
My body tenses as I find humans on this list, my kind estimated to go extinct in seventeen years. It’s a miracle we’re still around, but it’s no secret we’re hurting. Even if we wanted to, I doubt we’ll ever be able to repair what we’ve lost. The human gene is spread thin, and unless all the other human females and I procreate exclusively with human males, we’ll be diluted until there’s nothing left.
“It was only supposed to be for ten years, but then we got busy and, I don’t know, we just didn’t think about it,” Gray explains, each word feeling like a knife to my chest. “We never—”
I raise my hand, unable to handle hearing another pathetic justification. There’s nothing he can say to make this better. There’s no excuse.
My bottom lip quivers as I read the list of now-extinct breeds. Gray remains quiet as I make my way through them, his hands running through his hair and messing up the neatly styled strands. He’s visibly uncomfortable as I force him to hear the names of all the species he’s condemned, but I don’t care. He deserves it.
“What was so important that it came before the females?” I ask.
Gray sucks in a sharp breath and glances to the left. I watch with a clenched jaw as he gnaws anxiously at his bottom lip. After a good minute or two of waiting, I realize he doesn’t have an answer.
Nothing was stopping them. They just didn’t care enough to do anything.
I push back my chair and stand. I need to get out of here.
“You’re a selfish prick,” I scoff.
Gray shakes his head and stands, his need to defend himself only worsening my current contempt.
“Charlie,” he pleads.
“Millions of people have died because of you!” I cut him off as I grab the report and roughly shove the papers in his direction. “All because you didn’t find it worth your time to tell anybody you found the cause for the extension of an entire fucking gender.” I step back as he moves forward.
Gray comes to a halt as I scramble away from him. The absolute last thing I want is his hands on me.
“Ten years? Why the fuck did you decide to wait ten years in the first place?”
“To give the Wraths time to get their numbers up before—”
“You’re not even a fucking Wrath!” I scream, losing the last bit of composure I have.
I run my hands through my hair before gripping and tugging the strands. All this for the fucking Wraths? Is Gray so desperate for Aziel’s approval that he happily agreed to let us die out? Is he that fucking pathetic?
“Charlie, I’m sorry!” Gray pleads, taking a step forward. I back away. “It’s not too late to do something. We can still make it better.”
I let out a dry laugh. Is he serious? I don’t trust Gray as far as I can throw him.
“I promise. Aziel changed Wrath’s laws and built female rehabilitation centers all throughout the kingdom. The women are happy, and we’ve had a boom in female births these last twenty-five years. We can help others do the same,” he assures me.
“I don’t believe you,” I hiss.
Gray recoils and turns toward the door just as Aziel and Silas wander in. Both men look confused as they glance between Gray and me, clearly coming to investigate what all the yelling is about.
I glare at all three of them, my blood boiling as I stare at the reason my life is the way it is. They’re all monsters. Heartless, selfish monsters.
“Why’s the human yelling?” Aziel asks.
“Why am I yelling?” I retort, my sarcasm thick. “I’m yelling because you three are a bunch of selfish pricks.”
Aziel blinks, looking shocked at my sudden outburst. Silas mirrors that reaction, and Gray stares at me like a lost puppy. An evil, face-eating, human-murdering puppy.
“It’s your fault I was sold,” I say, gesturing wildly in their direction. “It’s your fault my father’s dead and my mother’s stuck in some facility. I would have a normal fucking life if it weren’t for you three!”
My voice cracks, but I manage to keep my eyes dry and tone level despite my heightened emotions.
Aziel rolls his eyes, his clear disrespect and disinterest in how his decisions have affected mine and millions of other females’ lives making me blind with rage. Before I can think better of it, I grab the paperweight from Gray’s desk and chuck it at him.
He steps to the side and watches it sail past his head. My chest heaves as adrenaline rushes through me, my body gearing up for a fight. I shouldn’t have done that.
Aziel picks up the paperweight as Gray moves to grab me. I skirt away from him and shove at his chest when he gets too close. Gray frowns at my rejection, his lust slipping out before he collects himself and reels it back in.
I ignore the involuntary clenching of my sex as the pheromones reach my nose.
“I’m disappointed in all of you,” I say. “Which should be surprising, considering how low my expectations were in the first place.”
“Charlie,” Gray pleads as I grab the doorknob.
I pretend I don’t hear him as I turn the handle and rip open the door.
“Go fuck yourself,” I add for good measure, wanting to make sure he knows where he currently stands.
The room goes silent as I curse at Gray. I know I’ll have to talk to them eventually and probably face punishment for throwing a weight at Aziel’s head, but I can’t bring myself to think about that.
I storm out of the room.
They casually sat by and watched as the female numbers dwindled. It never occurred to them to share the information even as they saw us subjected to harsher and harsher treatment. Males have grown feral with desperation, and they sat back and let it happen while Wrath flourished.
I’ve realized their age has made them jaded and callous on specific subjects, especially death, but what they’ve done here is beyond that. It’s monstrous.
They are monstrous.
I can hear Gray following me, but I ignore him. He comes to a halt as I approach my bedroom, and he thankfully doesn’t try to enter as I step inside and slam the door shut.
I didn’t think to grab anything to entertain myself with, and I regret not taking the female report and translator with me.
Figuring I’ll grab those later, I throw myself onto the bed and crawl underneath the covers. My clothing feels uncomfortable and itchy, but I don’t bother removing it. Hiding beneath the sheets, I curl into a tight ball and try to recall all the information I read.
