“Hey, Wendy,” I say as I pass the kitchen in the house next door, finding Ruby’s mom in her usual seat.

  “Hi, sweetie. Good day?”

  “Yeah, not bad.”

  “She’s up in her room waiting for you.”

  The image that pops into my head at her words is completely inappropriate considering her mom said the words, but I can’t help it.

  Thoughts of her being laid out on her bed in just her underwear and wearing a seductive look on her face assaults me.

  “Fucking hell,” I mutter as I climb the stairs, rearranging myself as I go.

  I can fantasize all I like, but Ruby’s not interested in me. Not like that, anyway.

  “Right, I’m ready to be your decoration bitch,” I announce, throwing her door open and marching inside without thinking.

  A squeal hits my ears that would sound more at home in the house I just left before my eyes land on the reason for her over the top reaction.

  “Shit, sorry. Sorry,” I mutter, backing out and hiding behind her door so she can pull the top on that was clutched to her chest when I barged in.

  “Okay, you can come in now,” she calls out a couple of seconds later.

  I walk inside a little more hesitantly this time with the reminder I needed that she doesn’t want me like I do her.

  “I’m sorry,” I say again when I find her sitting cross-legged in the middle of her bedroom floor now wearing a pair of shorts that show off almost all of her curvy legs and a Chargers jersey that I already know has my name on the back.

  “It’s okay. I’m sure it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.” She doesn’t look up at me as she mutters the words, reaching out for a new packet of tissue paper, so she misses my teeth grinding in frustration at her statement.

  Fucking Natalie, I silently seethe.

  “Where do you want me?” I ask, already knowing I’m not going to get the response I crave.

  “Come sit with me, I’ll show you how to do it. I’ve ordered pizza. It’ll be about twenty minutes,” she says, checking the time on her cell and still not looking up at me as she wrestles with some of the tissue paper.

  Taking a seat opposite her, I stretch my leg out, brushing my foot against hers.

  Finally, she looks up.

  “Hey,” she says, her shy smile that I love curling at her lips.

  “Hey.”

  “Everything okay at home?”

  “Chaos as usual. I managed to escape unharmed.”

  Twenty minutes later and I’m surrounded by disastrous looking tissue pom-poms while Ruby’s perfect decorations are lined up beside her.

  “I’m wasting more tissue than anything,” I say, giving up on the mess in my hands.

  “No,” she says, as if she’s talking to one of my younger siblings. “You’re still learning. They’re getting—” She glances down at my latest disaster. “B-better.”

  “I appreciate the praise, RuRu. But they’re shit. How about I just cut the shapes out for you and then you tie them all together instead?”

  “Okay,” she says happily, and I don’t miss the relief in her tone. “You should be good at this really. You’ve got talented fingers,” she says, referencing my skills on the football field and my guitar playing but the second she hears her own words, she cringes, her cheeks turning a bright crimson.

  “Oh yeah?” I ask with a smirk, I can’t help myself.

  The sound of the doorbell rings through the house and she hops up more than willing to end that awkward conversation.

  “Pizza’s here.”

  She’s hopping over the mess we’ve made, giving me a close up of her smooth skin before she passes me, as well as giving me a chance to get a good look at my number on her back.

  “Be right back. Don’t… um… don’t touch anything.”

  “With my talented fingers?” I ask, holding them up. She groans loudly before heading for the door. “I’m done anyway. These are all yours.”

  By the time she reappears with a giant pizza box in hand, I’ve abandoned her floor in favor of her bed.

  She crawls onto the bed beside me like she has a million times and sits so close that our shoulders and thighs brush.

  Sparks shoot around my body at the contact, my blood beginning to boil and my cock swelling.

  Knowing that I’m going to eat more pizza than her, she places the box on my lap hiding any evidence of how her close proximity affects me.

  “Mom’s just leaving for work. She’s got a double shift. She said to tell you that you can stay as long as you like.” It doesn’t need saying. I spend almost as much time here as I do in my own home.

  Wendy and my mom are friends. She’s more than aware of just how crazy life in my house is, and thankfully, she’s more than happy for me to hang out here.

  “Oh man,” Ruby moans, taking her first bite. “I needed this.”

  With a slice of pizza halfway to my mouth, I watch her as she chews. Her eyes closing in delight as the flavors hit her and then her tongue sneaks out to wipe away a little stray sauce.

  Maybe coming here this afternoon was a bad idea.

  Every day that passes now, I know that we’re a day closer to when I’m going to leave town—leave her. And I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not ready.

  All our lives we’ve dreamed of graduating, of prom, of college. We’ve spent hours researching places we wanted to go, after agreeing to go somewhere big. We’ve spent our entire lives in Cherry Falls, and it was time for us to spread our wings and try out a new city. We finally decided on Chicago. Or more specifically Northwestern.

  I always knew it was a pipe dream. The Wildcats are a division one football team. I never in a million years thought they’d be interested in me. The small-town wide receiver no one’s ever heard of. My other option was obviously music, but I didn’t feel any more confident with that either.

  I spend most of my time playing to myself, or Ruby. I’ve never been the kind of guy to stand up in front of an audience and showcase myself.

  In my head, I was fully prepared to end up closer to home, playing for a lower division team, dividing my time between the athletic facility and the music department, and hopefully finding some success to open up opportunities for my future one way or the other.

  The last thing I expected was to be offered a full-ride and a place on the team.

  All of it was beyond my wildest dreams.

  And then when Ruby was accepted as well, I really thought everything was happening as we planned.

  Until she dropped the bomb that she wasn’t going to be able to go because she has no way of paying for it, even with her mom’s support and working at the ice cream parlor.

  She was going to turn down her place and forget all about it, but I convinced her to defer.

  I figured that a year late is better than nothing. But she doesn’t seem to agree because despite having her place and her deferment confirmed, she’s still talking as if it’s never going to happen.

  I know it’s expensive and I know she’s concerned about taking her mom’s money and ruining her dreams, but I don’t think she realizes that Wendy’s biggest dream is seeing her only daughter succeed and be happy. Something tells me that Wendy would sell the house and anything of value around them if it meant allowing Ruby to follow her dreams.

  Ruby still won’t have it though.

  “What’s wrong? Aren’t you hungry?”

  “Y-yeah. Sorry. Got a lot on my mind.”

  She turns to me, her knee running up my thigh and her hand resting on my forearm.

  “Want to talk about it?” she asks, her eyes soft and caring.

  I stare at her, all the things I want to say to her right on the tip of my tongue.

  But then her lips part as if she’s going to say more and my eyes drop to them.

  It would be so easy to lean forward and do the exact thing I’ve been imagining since I was thirteen.

  My fist curls at my side, hidden beneath the box as I continue to stare at her lips.

  “W-what is it? Do I have sauce on my face?”

  My cell pings in my pocket totally ruining the moment—not that I think for a second I’d have actually done anything.

  We’ve had moments like this numerous times over the years, but I’ve never been brave enough to make my feelings known for fear of ruining years of friendship by doing something she’s not going to want.

  “Y-yeah. Sauce,” I mutter, ripping my eyes from her as she wipes at her lips, inspecting her finger for the sauce I’ve told her that’s there while I pull my cell from my pocket.

  My heart drops when I see the name on my screen.

  Of fucking course she’d be the one to ruin the moment—my fantasy.

  3

  Ruby

  My heart thunders in my chest as I furiously scrub at my lips, embarrassment threatening to swallow me whole knowing that the only reason Holden wants to look at my lips is because I’m a total goofball who can’t even get my food inside my mouth.

  “Holy crap,” Holden gasps, pulling his cell back from his view a little as he takes in whatever he’s been sent.

  “What’s up?” I ask, grateful to be able to think about something else other than how badly I wanted him to kiss me just then, even though I knew it was never going to happen.

  “Nat just sent me pictures of her prom dress shopping.”

  “I thought she already had her dress,” I say through gritted teeth as I reluctantly think about his prom date and the girl he’s got a little too friendly with recently if the gossip buzzing around the hallways at Cherry Falls High are to be believed.

  I haven’t outwardly asked him about what he’s been doing with her for fear of puking my guts up if he so much as confesses that he’s kissed her.

  I know that up until now, he’s not kissed anyone so knowing he’s given his first to that cheerslut will sting.

  We never so much as uttered the words over the years, but I’ve always secretly hoped that we could be each other’s firsts. The second he joined the football team, I knew that hope would be shattered because we all know what the team and the cheer squad are like.

  “Yeah, so did I,” he mutters, still unable to take his eyes from the screen.

  “Let’s see then.”

  After a beat, he turns the screen my way.

  “Oh w-wow, that’s… revealing,” I say, staring at the low-cut, high slit, completely inappropriate dress.

  “It’ll certainly turn some heads.”

  “Well, you seem fairly taken by it,” I murmur seeing as he’s still got his eyes glued to the image.

  Everything about that photo feeds into all my insecurities about myself. She’s tall, has curves for miles, and long blonde hair along with gorgeous, sparkling blue eyes. She wouldn’t be out of place on the front of a men’s magazine; she’s that glamorous.

  And then there’s me.

  Nondescript, not straight and not curly, mousey brown hair, murky gray eyes and barely any curves. At one point, I didn’t think I was ever going to grow boobs. Thankfully, they arrived, but I haven’t exactly got a lot.

  I’m certainly no Natalie Pinkham. It really is no surprise that Holden doesn’t even realize I’m a girl when he’s got the likes of her hanging off him.

  “I mean… yeah. You’re right though, it’s a bit much.”

  “I’ll stand out like a sore thumb if that’s what all the girls are going to turn up wearing.”

  “Your dress is stunning, Ru,” he assures me.

  He hasn’t seen me in it, but he has seen it hanging in my closet.

  “Yeah,” I mutter, picking up another slice of pizza as he looks at the photo for another few seconds before shoving it into his pocket without responding. Assuming that she’s standing in a fitting room somewhere expecting a response yet she isn’t about to get one makes a smug smile play on my lips.

  We spend the rest of our evening together like we usually do, laughing, joking and enjoying each other’s company, but unlike usual, it’s tinged with the knowledge that it’s coming to an end soon. That and the lingering feeling Holden left behind within me when he stared down at my lips the way he did. It’s easy to twist things in my head and convince myself it was because he wanted to kiss me.

  “Aren’t you glad you took this week off?” Meg says, glancing over at me from her lounger.

  We didn’t hang around school after class. Holden had a thing with the guys so Meg offered to drive me home, saving me from taking the bus or walking which were my other two alternatives seeing as I refuse to spend the money I have saved on buying a car.

  Every cent I have is for college, not that I think I’ll ever actually have enough.

  What I need is a freaking miracle at this point if I’m going to find a way to get to Chicago with Holden like we always planned.

  That’s if he even wants it any more. We’ve barely talked about the future after I told him that I wasn’t going to make it this year. That I might never make it.

  I deferred my place like I told him I was going to, but quite frankly, I feel like I could just be torturing myself by keeping the possibility alive.

  “I guess,” I mutter, finding it hard to match her excitement for life right now.

  She’s buzzing, and with good reason. Her wealthy parents have plenty of money to send her to any Ivy League college of her choice with no worries about doing anything other than studying and having a good time.

  “Oh come on. I know you're scared that things are changing but we’ve got so much coming up to look forward to. Prom, graduation, a summer of nothing but sun, sun, sun and maybe a little sex.” She wiggles her eyebrows.

  That’s another major difference between the two of us.

  I let out a sigh.

  “You’ve still not done it, have you?”

  “I’m not going to, either.”

  “But—”

  “Enough, Meg. Begging me isn’t going to change my mind.”

  “But—”

  I glare at her, my argument clear in my eyes it seems because she finally backs down.

  “Okay, okay. I just think he’d love it, is all. Anyway, were you planning on getting changed anytime soon? That tank will give you awful tan lines for your dress,” she says, glancing down at my clothes before pulling her sunglasses on and resting back in her itty-bitty bikini top and hot pants.

  “This is fine.”

  Despite her huge glasses, I don’t miss her brow rising in question.

  Glancing down at the straps over my shoulder, I know she’s right. I’m already going to feel out of place, I don’t need any more reasons for Holden’s date to look down on me.

  “Okay, I’m going.”

  “Bikini, Ruby. You’ve got a banging body, you need to start embracing it.”

  I’m shaking my head as I walk through the house and up to my bedroom.

  Mom is out with a friend before she starts her double shift again tonight so I’ve got the house to myself.

  After stepping over the damp towel I abandoned before school this morning, I rummage around in my drawers, I pull out the only bikini top that I own, it still has the tag on just to prove my point that I don’t show off my body, and a pair of cut-off denim shorts to replace my cropped pants.

  Standing in front of the mirror with the scraps of black fabric covering my less than generous breasts, I wrap my arms around my middle, not used to having it on display.

  It’s only, Meg, I tell myself. You’ve got no reason to feel self-conscious.

  “Yes, girl,” she hollers when I finally re-emerge exposing way too much skin. “Here.”

  “Where did you get these from?” I ask, taking the cold bottle of beer from her.

  She taps the side of her nose and laughs.

  I already know she didn’t find it in this house.

  “Stole them from Dad’s beer fridge when I swung by my house.”

  Of course her dad has a refrigerator just for beer. I bet her mom has one just for wine too.

  “You need to relax. You’re way too tense.”

  “I just hate this, Meg.”

  “I know you do. But there’s nothing either of us can do about it. What I do know is that you’ll regret not embracing these last few weeks.”

  I know that. I do. But I just can’t seem to pull myself from this slump.

  Changing the subject, I recall what happened last night.

  “You should see Nat’s prom dress. It’s bordering on obscene.”

  “That doesn’t surprise me. She’s a whore after all,” she states, lifting her bottle to take a pull of her beer. “I can’t believe he agreed to go with her. She must give good head.”

  My stomach churns uncomfortably at her words. And from the way she glances over her glasses at me, I’d say she got the exact response she was hoping for.

  “You’ll still look better than her.”

  I smile at her, appreciating her words. But the truth of it is, we both know that my dress was from our local goodwill, probably worn by one of last year's seniors, while Nat’s will be from some high-end designer that her Mom probably had personally flown in from Christ knows where.

  “I don’t want to think about them. Have your parents decided when they’re leaving for Italy yet?” I ask, in the hope that the mention of her summer alone in her huge mansion might distract her from my disaster of a life.

  “Right after graduation, apparently. I’m thinking we should party there that weekend. It’ll give me a chance to put it all back together before they return.

  “I thought the party that weekend was going to be at Weston’s?” I ask, thinking of Holden’s captain and star QB of Cherry Falls High.

  “Yeah. But did you want to go to a football party to celebrate?”

  She’s got a point. Spending the night with them is the last thing I want, but they also include Holden and we always said we’d do all these things together.

  But then I guess he screwed that up by agreeing to be her date.

  We never specifically said we’d go together, as friends or as dates, but I kinda assumed it was just happening.

  Safe to say that the rug was pulled firmly from beneath my feet when that rumor began to spread around the hallways. I thought it was a joke, until I questioned him on our ride home from school that night and I saw his reaction.

 

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