Killer dreams, p.12
Killer Dreams, page 12
“That should definitely exhaust you.”
“Sometimes.” He paused. “Sex does the job better.”
“I’m sure it does.” She stared at him in sudden suspicion. “Were you trying to embarrass me?”
“Just clarifying. You were asking what helped me.”
“And you were only supplying me with facts.”
He smiled. “No, I was actually making an opening move toward trying to seduce you. It’s the truth, though. There’s no release like sex. Don’t you agree?”
“If I agreed, it would keep this discussion going and that’s not what I want. Are you going to tell me what this dream is about?”
“No. Not right now. Maybe when we know each other better.”
It was obvious from his smile that the bastard meant “know” in the biblical sense. She stood up. “Go to hell. I was trying to help you. I should have known better.”
His smile faded. “I don’t want to be your patient, Sophie. I’m not your son. The last thing I need is for you to hold my hand and soothe me. And I’ve no desire to be entirely cured of my nightmares.”
“Then you’re crazy.”
“What a term. How very unprofessional of you.”
“I’ve lived with Michael’s pain and I know the hell those nightmares bring. The word nightmare comes from the Old Saxon mara, which means ‘demon.’ And nightmares can roast you alive like the demons they’re called. They may not be as dangerous as the night terrors, but they’re bad enough. Why the hell wouldn’t you want to be rid of them?”
He was silent a moment. “They keep the memory fresh. They keep the rage bonfire high. They keep the focus sharp on what I have to do.”
Bonfire high.
She was glimpsing the inferno of rage now behind that hard-edged exterior. “My God, you’d do that to yourself? I know what torture those dreams bring.”
“Sanborne and Boch did it. That was their gift to me. I might as well keep it around to use against them. So don’t waste your pity on me.”
“I won’t.”
“Yes, you will. You can’t help yourself. You’re a do-gooder who carries the world on your shoulders.” He got up and went to the bed. “You wouldn’t have sunk neck deep into this mess if you hadn’t wanted to help your father. You’re bleeding because you can’t heal your son. Now you think I need you, and I could play you like a fiddle if I chose.” He got into bed and pulled up the sheet. “But I don’t choose. So go to bed and let me get to sleep.”
“I will, you son of a bitch.” She strode toward the door. “And I hope your nightmares turn to night terrors and you have a lifetime of—” She stopped. “No, I don’t. Not that.”
“See?” Royd asked softly from the bed behind her. “You’re even afraid of laying a curse on me.”
“Night terrors are too personal to me. But there are all kinds of terrors. I can think of several I could wish on you that would make a man like you turn pale.”
“Such as?”
She gave him a cool glance over her shoulder. “May your balls wither away and you develop an allergy to Viagra and all its counterparts.”
He looked at her, stunned. And then he suddenly exploded into laughter. “God, you’re a formidable woman.”
“No, I’m not. I’m soft, remember?”
She slammed the door behind her.
“Is the boy still sleeping?” MacDuff asked as Jock came down the stairs.
“He should be for a while yet. He was exhausted but so wired he didn’t manage to fall asleep until almost three A.M.”
“Can you come for a walk with me? We need to talk.”
Jock shook his head. “I can’t leave Michael even for a few moments. I promised Sophie.”
“I rigged you with that wireless wristband.”
“And if he has a terror and falls into apnea when I’m ten minutes away we have a dead boy.”
“Point taken,” MacDuff said. “Come out into the courtyard. That’s only three minutes away from any room in the castle.” He smiled. “You should know. You were all over the place as a child.”
“And you never made me feel inferior because my mother was the housekeeper here,” Jock said as he followed the Laird out into the courtyard. “It never occurred to me that you could have been a real bastard until I got out into the real world.”
“This is the real world, Jock.”
Jock looked up at the turrets of the castle. “For you. It’s part of your blood and bones. You live for the place. To me it’s a pleasant memory and the home of my friend.”
“It should be home to you, too.”
Jock shook his head.
MacDuff was silent a moment, gazing out toward the Run. “I want you to stay. I let you go before because I knew you needed to distance yourself from me. You felt I was smothering you with care because you…weren’t yourself.”
Jock chuckled. “You mean, I was nuts.”
He smiled. “Let’s just say, you had periods of disorientation and loss of control.”
“Nuts,” Jock repeated. “You’re not going to hurt my feelings. I still have times when I’m not totally in control.” He met MacDuff’s gaze. “But the times are coming less and less frequently. And I don’t need to be here under your eagle eye. You’ve invested too much effort and worry in me already.”
“Bullshit. It’s not too much effort until you’re totally healed and healthy again.” He paused. “And what if I said that it was me who needed you. Not the other way around.”
“I wouldn’t believe you. As you said, you step on your own cockroaches.”
“For God’s sake, you have more value to me than a damn exterminator. You have a brain.”
“You think it doesn’t take a brain to be an exterminator?”
“Jock.”
“Very well, tell me how you want me to use my fine brain.”
“I haven’t found Cira’s gold yet.”
“Cira’s gold?” Jock chuckled. “You’ve started to search for that long-lost family treasure again?”
“I never stopped. I’ve been searching off and on for the past year. I won’t lose MacDuff’s Run to the National Trust. It’s mine.”
“And Cira’s gold could be a myth.”
“Then stay around and we’ll find out if it is together. What an adventure, Jock.” MacDuff’s voice lowered coaxingly. “I’ve searched almost the entire property here at the Run. I need a fresh mind and viewpoint to help me find a new path.”
Jock found himself tempted. MacDuff really knew how to push people’s buttons. “You want to distract me from Sophie and the boy.”
“Partly. But I do need you. You’re like family, and I’d only trust family to find that chest of gold. It’s priceless, and I’m not a trusting man. Help me, Jock.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Do that.” MacDuff clapped him on the shoulder. “You’ve no need to go back to America. We’ll take care of the lad until it’s safe for him to go back, and then I’ll deliver him back to his mother myself.” He saw Jock’s expression change and he shrugged. “Okay, you can take him home. Just turn around and come back here on the next plane.”
“I believe you’re pushing a wee bit.”
“More than a wee bit. Have you ever known me to take small measures?”
“Never.” His smile faded. “But we may have to do more than wait it out with Michael. I may have brought Sanborne down on you. I was thinking on the plane here that Sophie’s ex-husband knew I was on the scene. Michael told him I was a relation, but Edmunds knows my name now. What Edmunds knows, Sanborne may find out.”
“We’ll face that when it happens.”
“Sanborne’s a very powerful man.”
“Not here, not on my property. Not with my people. Let him come.”
Jock laughed. The answer was so characteristic of MacDuff that it gave him a warm feeling of homecoming. “Then I take it you don’t want me to take the lad away and hide him elsewhere?”
“What are you talking about? I took responsibility for the boy. Try to take him from me and I’d have to fight you for him.”
“Then I’d better not try to do that.” He started up the steps. “I’ve got to check in on Michael and see if he’s okay. Even if he’s not having one of his night terrors, he’s a child a long way from home.”
“He’s ten. You were only fifteen when you ran away from home and decided to explore the world.”
“But that was my choice. Not a smart one, but Michael had little choice in coming here.” He looked back over his shoulder. “And I had you to come after me and save my neck. Michael has only me.”
“Then he couldn’t be luckier,” MacDuff said quietly. “I’d choose you to be in my corner anytime, Jock.”
For a moment Jock didn’t know what to say. He had always been the charge, not the guardian. He had known with his mind that he and MacDuff were now on equal footing, but his emotions were another matter. Jesus, he was touched. He smiled with an effort. “That’s good to know. Does that mean you’re not going to try to tuck me and Michael away in the dungeon for safekeeping?”
“Hell, no. It doesn’t mean any such thing. I always do what’s necessary.” He grinned as he followed him up the steps. “But it happens that the dungeon is flooded from the spring rains at present. So you might be fortunate enough to escape that fate.”
“They’ve found out you and Michael weren’t in the house,” Royd said when Sophie walked into his room the next morning. “The fire department announced it last night.”
“It was bound to happen soon.”
He nodded. “We were lucky to buy as much time as we have. It just means that we have to be extra careful not to have you running around and being identified. Not only will Sanborne and Boch be after you, but the police may also have a few questions about why you haven’t come forward.”
“I’m not planning on running around anywhere unless you have something productive for me to do.” Her eyes narrowed on his face. “Do you?”
He shrugged. “I heard from Kelly. He said that the best time to short-circuit the power is at nine tonight. They’re picking up some more equipment from the labs about that time and they’ll be stumbling over each other in the dark. The more confusion the better.”
“And can he arrange it for that time?”
“He said he could,” he said shortly. “He wants my okay to set it up.”
“Then give it to him.”
“Not unless I can work out a way to get you out of there.”
“If Kelly can get me in, then he should be able to get me out.”
“That may not follow. Particularly if the power comes on too soon.”
“Then you work it out. I’m going in.”
He was silent. “I’ll tell Kelly to meet us outside the facility at eight-forty-five to get our ducks in a row.”
“That will be nice. Since I don’t even know what he looks like. Do you have a photo?”
“No. Kelly looks like a red-haired Fred Astaire.”
“Well, that’s certainly descriptive enough.”
“And he manages to tap-dance his way out of a good many tight spots, but I don’t want him to have to do that tonight.” He nodded at the table. “I picked up orange juice and a breakfast sandwich at Hardee’s. Sit down and eat.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Eat anyway. It’s good for you. It will give you the energy to lambaste me when you take the notion.” He paused. “Unless you’re too pissed to sit down at the same table with me.”
“I’d be stupid to let my personal feelings get in the way. Jock warned me I’d probably be annoyed with you at least once every day.” She sat down and unwrapped the sandwich. “He underestimated. He must not know you as well as he thinks he does.”
“He knows one part of my personality very well indeed. The rest he’s basing on judgment.”
“Which part does he know?”
“The part that chafed beneath the chains, the part that he went through too.”
“Chains?”
“Mental, sometimes physical. Suppression of free will, the knowledge that you have no choice but to obey.” His lips lifted in a sardonic smile. “You’re so eaten by guilt that I’m sure you think Jock and I are too. I can’t speak for Jock, but I’m too selfish to worry about the sin of committing crimes when I had no control. I hated being made a slave to those bastards. Of being too weak and not being able to fight off that damn drug and its side effects and not being able to kill those sons of bitches who gave it to me.”
“I gave it to you,” she whispered. “Or I might just as well have done it.”
“Bullshit, if I thought that, you’d be a dead woman.” He dropped down in a chair and pulled the tab on the orange-juice carton. “So stop moaning and take the healthy, selfish view I do.” He poured the orange juice into her glass and then his own. “If you want me to shut up about Garwood, I’ll do it. But I’ve always thought air and sunlight are good for a wound.”
“And a little hate thrown into the mix?”
He nodded and lifted his glass in a mock toast. “Now you’ve got it.”
“I do hate Sanborne. How could you doubt it?”
“I don’t doubt it. We just approach it differently. Perhaps it’s because your job is full of mercy and mine is basically the job I was trained to do at Garwood.”
“And you have to keep the bonfire high.”
“Oh, yes.”
She changed the subject. “Where are we going to meet Kelly?”
“There’s a creek about two miles from the facility. No security cameras are near there.”
She remembered the creek from the day she’d had to run from the security guards. “Has he located the safe?”
“He’s located a safe. It’s in an office near the lab but it’s not an executive office. It’s in the human resources department.”
“It could still be Sanborne’s safe. A little sleight of hand.”
He nodded. “It’s worth Kelly checking out. I’m not sure it’s worthwhile to have you go in with him.”
“I’m sure.” She finished her orange juice. “If he blows the power, then everyone in the facility is going to be under suspicion. He may not get another chance.” She stood up. “I’m going, Royd.”
He shrugged. “Suit yourself. Why should I care?”
“Because if you lose me, you lose your bait.”
“I never said I’d use you for bait.” He frowned. “Well, maybe I did, but it would be a last resort.”
She shook her head. “By God, I believe I see a sign of softening.”
“No way.” He leaned back in his chair. “I’m probably trying to deceive you into thinking that a nice guy like me wouldn’t be too bad to go to bed with.”
“Nice guy?” She gazed at him in astonishment. “You have a long way to go, Royd.”
“‘The longest journey begins with a single step,’ ” he quoted. “Maybe you’re reforming me. What do you think?”
“I think you’re being ridiculous.”
He smiled. “Well, you’re into therapy and we have all day with time on our hands. You have to hole up and keep a very low profile. Want to come to bed and we’ll get all loose and relaxed for the job tonight?”
“No, I do not. You’re disgusting.”
“Not in bed. In many other phases of behavior, but not between the sheets. You’d like me.”
“Arrogant bastard.” She started for the door to her room. “I’m not interested in sex with you.”
“I believe I detected a trace of interest and I’m such a horny son of a bitch I have to take what I can get.”
He was outrageous. She gazed at him lolling lazily in that chair, positively radiating sexuality. Yet suddenly she was aware of something else. A puckish twinkle behind that bold stare. Her annoyance ebbed. “That’s not why either of us is here.”
“But I might not get another chance to lay you if you get yourself killed tonight.” His smile was sly. “And you could miss the experience of a lifetime.”
“If I get killed tonight, I won’t have a lifetime to regret you.”
“When you’re as good as I am, every minute you spend with me is a lifetime.”
In spite of herself she couldn’t keep her lips from twitching. “I believe I’m getting ill.”
“Okay, I’ll knock it off.” His smile faded. “But if you’re not going to let me pleasantly distract you then I suggest you find something else. If you don’t, you’ll be nervous as hell by tonight.”
“I can always find something to do. I don’t have my files but there’s nothing wrong with my memory. I’ll do some thinking about the patients I’m having problems with and make some notes.” She paused. “But there’s something I want you to do.”
“I’m at your service…maybe.”
“I can’t call my friend Cindy Hodge, but you could do it for me. Tell her you’re phoning for me. You’ll need some sort of proof….” She thought about it. “Remind her that we always had a date to see the Star Wars movies the first afternoon they came out. I want to know if she’s alive, and if she is, then I need to warn her to run.”
He nodded. “Give me her telephone number. I’ll phone her from the convenience store down the street.”
“I’ll get it from my cell directory. When will you do it?”
“When do you think?” he asked roughly. “You asked me for a favor. You’re worried. Am I supposed to keep you on pins and needles? It’ll be done within the hour.”
“Thank you.” She closed the door behind her.
Christ, he was an enigma. Rough and hard-edged, sensual and raw, passionate and cold. And yet that sliver of humor that she had been surprised by only moments ago had touched a response in her. There hadn’t been many moments of humor or repartee in her life in the past years. Even when she was married to Dave, they had been too busy concentrating on their careers to have much time for anything else.
Not that the sex hadn’t been good. Sex was always good if two people were considerate of each other. God, that sounded boring and cerebral.
How would sex be with Royd? There was no guarantee he’d be considerate. And he probably wouldn’t be gentle. Every time she was with him she could sense that leashed animalistic explosiveness. The physical signals that he sent out were almost tangible.
