Lady macbethad, p.31
Lady MacBethad, page 31
Duncan was moving towards the door. Stumbling out of bed in my shift, I followed him, trying to think of a way to keep him in the room.
‘Should he not be at your Coronation?’
Duncan shook his head – perhaps he did not wish MacBethad to be able to contest his ascension.
‘Wait! I’ll come with you,’ I said.
‘There’s no need.’
‘Please, I want to be there, by your side.’
Catching his hand, I drew him to me. A guard could see us through the open door but I took the risk, kissing Duncan. His lips were thin and tight, his embrace awkward as he wrapped his arms around me, as if he did not know how to hold a woman. Worried our encounter had done more damage, I pulled away but Duncan was beaming.
‘Come along then,’ he said, and I clothed myself hurriedly.
We hurried down corridors, Duncan pulling me behind him in his haste. Out of excuses to delay him, I only hoped that MacBethad would think of something. When we entered the throne room, a large crowd had already gathered.
Duncan made his way to the dais and for a sickening moment I thought I would not be able to warn MacBethad in time. But a young thane arrested our progress by calling out a greeting so enthusiastic that Duncan could not help but reward the young man’s joy at seeing him.
MacBethad was at the far end of the room, and though it was reckless, I rushed to his side. The look of alarm on my face pulled him away from his companions and he came to meet me.
‘My lords,’ Duncan called out, catching the attention of all those in the room. I was out of time.
‘Suggest a hunt,’ I murmured to MacBethad.
‘A hunt?’ he asked as the thanes began to cluster around Duncan.
‘Now.’
‘But to interrupt him. . .’
‘Now!’
The urgency in my voice was enough to convince MacBethad, who spoke loudly for the benefit of all those gathered in the hall.
‘A hunt!’ he cried.
Every head turned to him including my own. He rebuked my obvious disapproval of his clumsy delivery with a quick shake of his head.
‘Cousin,’ MacBethad boomed again. ‘We were just discussing the prospect of a hunting trip in Grandfather’s honour. I am told it was one of his favourite past-times, and can think of no better way to celebrate his life.’
Duncan could easily force everyone to remain so he could lay his claim to me with all the ceremony I was sure he wished to bestow upon it, but he was the last man to deny his thanes anything they wished. Despite his frustration at being interrupted, Duncan needed to be the great and generous hero of every gathering. Leading such a hunt was an irresistible prospect. I saw it all play out on his face.
‘So be it,’ he said, and a great cheer went up in the hall. Duncan smiled as the thanes clapped him on the shoulder, all excited for the chase. I rushed back to Duncan’s side to appease the shadow of suspicion I had seen in his eyes when he noticed me with MacBethad.
‘No matter,’ I whispered. ‘You can announce MacBethad’s mission and your plans for me tomorrow.’
Duncan nodded without speaking, his mind already on the hunt.
‘Will you ride with us?’
‘I don’t think your men would appreciate my presence,’ I said. ‘Perhaps I can attend on Suthan.’
‘Mother is watching after her,’ Duncan said, eager to be following the crowd as they spilled out of the hall on their way to the stables.
‘I shall relieve her so she can rest,’ I stated. ‘And if I am to be your wife’s companion, I must appear to take some interest in her.’
‘I suppose,’ he replied, still reluctant. MacBethad was heading for the stables with the others, and I hoped I might catch him before they departed. We needed more than an intimate moment. We needed a plan.
‘If you like, I can come to the stables to see you off?’
Duncan beamed at last, and I felt that his doubt had fully dissipated.
As we emerged into the stable yard, men and horses milled all around us. Duncan had wanted me to stay by his side, but in the chaos I was able to duck away as he was brought his mount. Weaving in and out of the throng, I at last found MacBethad, still surrounded by thanes. His growing popularity was proving to be as much of an inconvenience as a gift.
He saw me and, understanding the rarity of an unguarded moment, brought his horse over. Though I had resolved to speak quickly and suggest a practical way forward, my head swam as he approached and it was all I could do not to grab him and kiss him and pull him down with me to the ground.
‘A hunt?’ MacBethad asked. I tried to order my scattered thoughts.
‘Duncan was going to send you after Gillecomghain this morning, and claim me in your absence.’
‘I will keep him engaged so that he doesn’t blurt that out while we ride,’ MacBethad said, his countenance grave.
‘I don’t think he will,’ I countered. ‘He requires due ceremony in everything he does. We must ensure he does not have the opportunity to speak of this to the court before we decide how to find Gillecomghain.’
‘I need to tell you something,’ MacBethad said.
But we were cut off by the hunting call.
As he turned his horse, his arm brushed against mine and he held it there deliberately for a moment longer, pressing against me, needing to touch me as much as I needed to feel him. I was thankful for the cover of mayhem all around us as the hunters filed out of the courtyard.
Steadying myself, I went to find Duncan at the front, leading the party, a little prince. I waved enthusiastically to him and he grinned like a child. My movement drew attention from a few of the men who jeered at what they believed to be my desperate attempts to flirt with the king to be.
I didn’t care. They would know soon enough where my loyalities lay.
Standing in the stables, I watched as the last of the men disappeared through the gates. The horns’ blasts carried over the wall, and a great pounding of horses matched the beating of my heart as I thought of MacBethad riding out with them.
‘It won’t work.’
My entire body stiffened as a familiar chill flooded my senses – I knew it was Bethoc. Unwilling to face her, I continued to watch the disappearing party as if I hadn’t heard her. But she stepped in front of me, blocking my view.
She stood there, meeting my eyes unflinching. She meant to intimidate me, or force me into speaking first, giving away some invisible ground in our never-ending battle.
But I was not the helpless little girl I had been in Fife when she humiliated my mother. Nor was I still the young woman whose fate lay in her hands as it had in Dunkeld. I let the silence draw out, heartbeat after heartbeat, refusing to be crushed by it.
‘It won’t work,’ Bethoc said again.
She hadn’t asked a question so still I said nothing.
‘You may think you can seduce Duncan, but I can assure you that I will never let you marry him. You will never be Queen of Alba.’
‘I have no desire to marry Duncan.’
I studied Bethoc and, behind her customary coolness, sensed deep hatred. Her disdain, her arrogance – these things I knew to expect from her. But I had never done anything to elicit the vitriol she could now barely contain.
‘Why do you hate me so much?’
Bethoc rolled her eyes as if dealing with a child.
‘I don’t hate you. I don’t think of you.’
But I heard the lie and saw her control slipping.
‘You do. You have hated me since we met.’
‘When we met you were a mewling little girl who tried to use lullabies to intimidate.’
She remembered me then, from Fife.
‘And in Burghead?’
She flinched.
‘You hated me in Burghead. You and Crinan travelled the length of our kingdom to propose an engagement and yet you hated me.’
‘Duncan needed a queen.’
Bethoc flinched again as she mentioned the crown.
There.
There it was.
As if a wild animal lay trapped inside her, desperate to break free from its confines and rip out my throat.
‘You are the daughter of King Malcolm,’ I said, ‘and yet you crossed the length of the country to put that “mewling girl” on a throne you yourself could never ascend to,’ I said, understanding at last the source of her animosity.
Bethoc gritted her teeth and I thought she would snarl.
‘By that same logic, I should hate Suthan.’
‘That puppet of a thing? No. She is the best you could hope for in Duncan’s wife, a woman utterly at your mercy.’
‘You were at my mercy in Dunkeld.’
‘But you knew it would not last. I cannot be contained. I am a granddaughter of King Coinneach, a granddaughter of druids. I was born to be a queen. It is my birthright.’
‘Do not speak to me of birthrights!’ Bethoc spat. ‘You are the daughter of a pagan bitch. Your father was a coward. Your husband is a pathetic excuse for a mormaer. You have no power, no authority.’
‘If that were true, you would not be standing here trying to convince yourself of it.’
She was shaking with fury. I pressed on.
‘Duncan will no longer heed you as he might have in his youth. Your father is dead. He can no longer protect you. Your husband cares only for his abbey. I will be a powerful queen, but your time has come and gone.’
Bethoc shoved past me, and I felt the strength go from my legs. I didn’t realise in the moment how much the confrontation had taken from me, but as I leaned against the stone arch my breath grew ragged and my vision blurred.
MacBethad’s passion for me had possessed me with an unwarranted confidence when in truth everything still hung in the balance for us. Nothing was secure. I had won a victory but at what cost? Bethoc might not have the power she once did, but if she was not already actively trying to destroy me, she would start now. And yet I would not rescind my words to her.
‘Are you well?’
A quiet voice spoke at my shoulder and I turned to see Suthan standing beside me in her night shift, a shawl wrapped around her slight shoulders.
‘I am.’
She seemed smaller somehow, outside in the afternoon light, than she had done sitting next to me in the feasting hall. Her face was full of concern for me. Although I might have been touched by that, her presence here unnerved me. How could this frail little Saxon woman unwittingly throw my life into such disarray for a second time?
‘I’m sorry to hear you’re unwell,’ I ventured when she said nothing further.
She shook her head, looking towards the gate as if she longed to walk out of Scone and never return.
‘It’s nothing.’
Life had dealt her no better hand than I held, and while she might not have an ounce of my survivor’s strength, still she had managed to become Queen of Alba – no matter how poorly suited she was to the role.
‘I love him.’
She spoke so quietly, I almost missed her words.
‘I didn’t mean to become queen or . . . I just wanted him.’
She gazed at me, willing me to understand her, and I wondered if rumours of my behaviour towards Duncan had reached her quarters.
Of all the people in Alba, I should be the least trusted by her after all she had taken from me. But somehow, in her innocence, she saw only a friend by her side, someone to confide in. My pity for her cooled. We had not been dealt the same hand – I did not have the luxury of being so unsuspecting. Had I even the smallest measure of her naivety, I would have died long ago.
‘I must find my son,’ I said, turning my back on her, pulling myself away from her unsettling vulnerability, desperate to be comforted by the smell of Lulach’s hair and the feel of him in my arms.
Before I turned a corner, I glanced over my shoulder to see if she had followed me. But she stood in the archway, silhouetted against the bright light. Scone would be the end of her.
Chapter 28
Mam!’
Lulach’s little voice bounced off the walls as I found him in the servants’ quarters with Sinna. He pelted towards me down the hall and I fell to my knees, allowing my son to bowl me over. I squeezed him as he wrapped his arms around me and showered my face with kisses. I thought I would weep with relief. He had been from my side too long.
I sat up and pulled him into my lap as he jabbered about all that he and Sinna had done. Brushing my hands through his hair, I allowed the hum of his voice to ease my anxiety and the softness of his curls beneath my fingers to ground me in the present. Sinna sat beside us. For a few blissful minutes, I thought of nothing but the precious child before me.
‘There is a secret store of fruit that one of the cooks showed me,’ Lulach was saying. ‘They have apples and pears – and buckets of berries have just been brought in. Shall I show you?’
We wandered to the kitchen, my hand in his, and he introduced me to the various servants he had met. They took to his enthusiasm as those in Burghead had taken to mine when I was his age. I wished Grandmother could meet him and call upon Brighde to show what glories lay in his path. No matter. I would ensure he shared the destiny of kings.
As we left, a horn sounded somewhere in the distance – the return of the hunters.
I could prolong this moment no longer.
The chase had ended sooner than expected, lasting an hour at most. Even as I hurried with Lulach and Sinna towards the stables, I began to turn over all the things that might have gone wrong. Perhaps I had misjudged Duncan and he had made his announcement already. Perhaps there had been an accident with MacBethad’s horse.
By the time I broke out into the courtyard my heart was racing. But the men were shouting to each other excitedly. The body of a stag was being dragged off an anxious mare, who shook herself violently when she was rid of the burden. I tried to pick up news, but all was indistinguishable commotion and I gleaned nothing. Duncan’s voice somehow managed to carry above it all.
‘It is a large stag, I warrant, but not quite as large as the one that hangs in my room. Cousin, I must show you.’
He boasted loudly, too loudly. I prayed that MacBethad hadn’t been the one to kill the beast. Duncan’s fragile pride couldn’t handle that. I lifted Lulach into my arms and found MacBethad in the crowd. Tending to his horse; he hadn’t seen me. His expression was blank and, I suspected, concealed intense irritation. I longed to rush over to him, but Duncan blocked my path.
‘Gruoch!’ he exclaimed. ‘You welcome back the victors!’
His enthusiasm was so strained it was a wonder he didn’t break beneath the weight of it. He ruffled Lulach’s hair before I could pull my son away.
‘You killed that magnificent beast they just led away?’ I asked hopefully.
‘One of the young thanes did,’ Duncan replied, slapping a young man on the back as he passed by. ‘I nearly had him, but this upstart swept in before I’d even raised my bow.’
The man in question looked as if he was already regretting his well-intentioned intervention. I thought he was going to apologise, but Duncan, perhaps sensing the same thing, clapped him on the back once more.
‘Well done.’
The boy bowed before dashing off. Over Duncan’s shoulder, I saw MacBethad praise the young man as well. But instead of bowing his head sheepishly, the thane lifted it a little higher. MacBethad’s ability to inspire pride would be an incredible asset in Moray.
Duncan followed the direction of my gaze, and when he saw MacBethad he frowned.
‘I’ve been thinking I will wait until I’m crowned to withdraw my protection to send MacBethad after Gillecomghain.’
‘A wonderful idea,’ I exclaimed, with all my attention fixed on him.
‘It will be my first action as king, establishing me as a strong ruler in the eyes of our people. If I were to do it now, it would quickly pass from their minds in the excitement of my Coronation, but I want them to remember my strength and generosity.’
‘Inspired.’
I was relieved to have bought a few days.
‘Tomorrow it is!’ Duncan said.
‘Tomorrow?’
‘We will move the coronation to tomorrow.’
‘But. . .’ I began. Duncan held up his hand.
‘I know it is customary to wait a week, but Grandfather would have had no objection, I’m sure. And all the bishops and necessary mormaers are already gathered. There is no reason to wait a moment longer.’
He smiled and patted Lulach’s head again. I was thankful my son remained in my arms or I might have slapped the prince.
‘Don’t worry,’ he said, mistaking the cause of my consternation. ‘All will be settled soon. I have much to attend to. I will see you this evening.’
With that he disappeared into the keep. MacBethad too was heading inside.
‘What should we do next, Mother?’ my son asked.
‘I want you to meet someone.’
MacBethad said whatever was dear to my heart would be dear to his, but I wasn’t sure how he would react to my child. Still, it would be better to learn now if he would accept Lulach as his own before I worked out how best to proceed.
‘Who?’ Lulach asked, his little face filled with curiosity.
‘He is a great warrior,’ I explained as Sinna and I followed MacBethad at a safe distance so none might see my intention. ‘Do you know the dagger I keep with me always?’
He nodded. Lulach preferred to gaze at swords rather than wield them. He adored their cool metal, and had often run his fingers over the carved hilt of my blade.
‘He gave it to me as a gift when we were children.’
We entered the royal quarters and passed by intricately carved doorways and thick tapestries depicting King Malcolm’s rule. Duncan had been wise to keep MacBethad so close. If anything were to happen to the prince, his cousin’s proximity would immediately throw him under suspicion. Though such forethought was more likely the work of Bethoc or Crinan.
MacBethad had disappeared, but Sinna nodded to an oak door.
