Seeker, p.12
Seeker, page 12
“It’s called respect, sweetheart,” he said, each word clipped. His voice was low, a warning. “You should look into it. I know your family doesn’t have it for anyone else but you don’t have to follow your family’s fucking script.”
“You want my respect?” Ellie asked. “Earn it.”
Irons opened his mouth, ready to say something, before he abruptly shut it. Licking his teeth with his tongue, he placed his hands on his hips.
“You’re fucking feisty, aren’t you?” he asked, cocking his head to the side. “You’re not just going to fall in line like the rest of the students here, are you, sweetheart?”
Ellie wrinkled her nose. “Don’t call me that,” she snapped. She hated terms of endearments, especially that one. Her father used to call her that, though it was filled with his abrupt condescending tone whenever she messed up or got something wrong.
Maybe next time, sweetheart or Oh, that’s incorrect, sweetheart. Maybe we should try something less difficult and leave things like that to your brother.
The words by themselves seemed encouraging, but he made sure she knew he was humoring her, made sure she knew he had no faith in her.
“I’ll call you whatever the fuck I want, you got me?”
“Why are you allowed to talk to your students this way?” I asked. “Aren’t you on some sort of leash? Can’t I just go to the dean of this place and muzzle you?”
At this point, she knew she crossed a line. The term of endearment triggered her to the point where she lost all semblance of control. Her chest rose and fell, her skin burned with anger, shame, with heat that made her bristle. Lashing out was the only thing that made her feel good about it, made her feel like she was finally doing something that caused her to stand up for herself.
His eyes widened. Surprise flickered across the simmering orbs, but it was gone in an instant. Instead of stepping back and taking space for himself, he stepped towards her, one foot, then the next. Ellie didn’t even think; she reacted. She put one foot behind her and then another until she was pressed against a wall and Professor Irons towered over her. He pressed the palm of his hand on the wall near her head so she was trapped in, caged, with no way of escaping.
A thrill went through her, like getting shocked by something. She shouldn’t be thrilled by being caught between a rock and whatever Professor Irons was. But there was something about his close proximity, something about the intensity of his stare, that was both dangerous and alluring.
“You want to know why I can talk to you however the fuck I want?” he asked in a low voice, every word a cut that went deeper and deeper. He was so close, she could feel his hot breath on her skin. Instead of being disgusted like she expected, something about the whole ordeal was intriguing. “Because after Arbuckle fucking disappeared over on Catalina Island, he put me in charge. You have a fucking problem? You come to me.”
Ellie’s brows shot straight up her forehead. If Irons was in charge, did that mean he knew things? He must, especially if he was the one running the research program.
“I’m sure you’re much too busy to deal with a miscreant like me,” Ellie said, mustering up all the sarcasm she could.
“For you, sweetheart?” Irons asked, the corner of his lips flickering up like a candle in the wind. “I’d make the time, understand me?”
Ellie swallowed. Her body thrummed with energy, energy she didn’t understand. She had never felt this way before and she didn’t understand it. Part of it was fear. That was something she could name, something she could identify. But there was more to it than that. There was something else, something that teased only her darkest parts of her that she didn’t know existed.
“Well?” he asked.
She realized he wasn’t going to let up until she answered him. The problem was, she didn’t trust her voice. Not right now. All she could do was bite her bottom lip to ensure no telling sounds came out of her mouth - no whimpers that might give her conflicting feelings a voice - and tilt her chin down. It was barely even a nod but it would have to do.
“Good girl.” His voice was low, almost a growl. Slowly, so slowly, he pulled away from her, letting his hand drop to his side. “Now, are you still interested in this shit? Or are you just a fucking tease, sweetheart?”
Ellie glared at him again, the anger flaring up just as quickly as it had left her. “I’m not a tease,” she insisted more defensively than she wanted to. It sounded so juvenile coming out of her mouth that her cheeks pinched. The last thing she felt like was a child right now.
Irons’ lips curled into a smirk, his white teeth flashing at her, causing her heart to skip a beat. “Whatever the fuck you say,” he asked, shaking his head.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Ellie asked.
“You’re a bright kid,” he said, taking another step back. “I’m sure you can fucking figure it out.”
“I’m not -” She clenched her teeth together. She was going to tell him she wasn’t a kid, but just saying that, insisting she wasn’t, wasn’t going to prove her point.
He raised his brows, daring her to say it.
She pressed her lips together and pointedly looked away. He started to chuckle, a low, languid sound that felt like silk and thorns on the back of her neck.
Before she could say anything, Maria came back out in a rush. Even the glare on Irons face didn’t deter her from being here.
“Professor,” she said. “Something went wrong. You’re needed in Cell H.”
Brielle
The last thing Brielle expected was Ellie stomping into her dorm room and slamming the door behind her, letting out a growl of frustration. Her fingers were balled at her sides, her nose wrinkled, blue eyes glaring at the floor underneath her feet.
Honestly, that was exactly how Brielle felt, she just hadn’t expressed herself like that.
Tom had a girlfriend. Of course, he did. Tom and Taylor. Taylor was gorgeous, if a little mild mannered, petite, like a pixie or a fairy or whatever it was that Tinker Bell was. Instead, Brielle slinked off to her room, hoping to call it an early night until her stomach yelled at her and she grabbed a snack. She had been staring up at the ceiling above her ever since, trying to figure out a logical reason why she would care so much about Tom.
“You okay?” Brielle asked, forcing herself to sit up. Her brown hair fell over her shoulder and she began to comb her fingers through it, if only to give herself something to focus on.
“Well,” Ellie said, stomping across the room, “my Bio professor is an absolute dick. The problem is, he happens to be the guy in charge of the school now that Arbuckle is dead and he runs the research department. Which means if we want information, I’m probably going to have to join the research department even though I really don’t want to.” She clenched her teeth together, whirling on the balls of her foot so she could stomp the other way. Brielle opened her mouth to say something when Ellie continued. “I just do not want to be anywhere near Irons if I can help it, you know?”
“Wow,” Brielle said, pausing her fingers in her hair. “He’s that bad?”
Ellie picked her gaze off the floor and nodded. “The worst,” she said. “He swears all the time. Fuck might be his favorite word. And I can’t prove it but I think he might be sleeping with his research assistant. Granted, I don’t think she’s technically a student or anything, but, I mean, conflict of interest, right?”
Brielle pursed her lips together, trying to figure out what the right thing would be to say to that.
“But, I mean, Jane and Depogare, Sophie and Will, it was basically the same thing,” she said, shaking her head. She resumed her pacing, though without the stomping. “Why does this bother me so much, though? I’m not a prude, Brie.”
“I know,” Brielle said quickly. She cleared her throat. “Would it be easier if I volunteered for the program so you don’t have to?”
Ellie paused, looking at Brielle as though she was seeing her for the first time. It was almost as though the thought hadn’t occurred to her in the first place. Brielle wasn’t sure how she felt about it, but she tried not to think about it. She needed a distraction - any distraction - even if it was Ellie looking at her like she just grew two heads.
“I…” Ellie pursed her lips. She looked away, suddenly tugging at her fingers. Her blonde curls fell forward, over her shoulder, masking her profile from Brielle’s view. “I don’t know, Brie. It’s not that I don’t think you’re capable. Trust me, you’re more of a badass than I thought. But it was my fault you were in that cage at the fight club and I don’t know how I would feel if something else terrible happened to you because of me.”
Brielle opened her mouth, ready to correct her, to tell Ellie that she was thinking too much about it, but stopped when Ellie held up a hand.
“Did you find any interesting information on Sanators?” she asked.
Brielle wasn’t sure how she felt about the abrupt change in conversation but decided to go with it. She tried not to think about the fact that talking about her research in the library would only bring up thoughts of Taylor which would bring up thoughts of Tom which would only cause her heart to pinch like touching a fresh bruise.
“Uh...no, not really,” Brielle admitted, reaching up to brush her own hair back. “I looked through some books, but I did find information on both Ethan and Michael Rochester.”
“Really?” Ellie took a seat on the edge of the bed, twisting her torso in order to face Brielle.
Brielle nodded, bringing her bent knees close to her chest. She wrapped her arms around them and continued to look at Ellie as she told Ellie everything. Except Tom. Except the breathing exercises he taught her. Except how badly she wanted to kiss him.
When she finished, Ellie reached behind her so she could lean back on the bed comfortably. “Huh,” she said. “Honestly, hearing that...I almost feel bad for Michael Rochester. Does that make me crazy?”
Brielle shook her head. “I felt the same,” she admitted. “It also makes me wonder what happened between him and Ethan. Ethan isn’t telling us everything, Ellie. And I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Ellie used her free hand and held it up. “I know this isn’t exactly flattering to Ethan, but he’s been nothing but good to us, to everyone he’s helped at AckPec. Maybe we should give him the benefit of the doubt before we pull out our pitchforks.”
“Maybe you’re right.” Brielle sighed. “Sometimes, my mind races and I start putting puzzles together, not stopping to see if they fit.”
“But, hey, I probably would think the same thing,” Ellie allowed, curling hair behind her ear.
Brielle smiled. It was one of the nicest things Ellie had done, try to make her feel acknowledged, cared for.
“I think I’m going to go to bed, though,” Ellie said. “We’ll talk tomorrow?”
Brielle nodded, though she couldn’t bring herself to say anything, couldn’t admit that sleeping was the last thing on her mind. How could she sleep when all she could think about was Tom and how badly she missed Greg?
The next morning, Ellie was already ready and dressed. She waited for Brielle to get dressed before the two of them went to get breakfast. Brielle was glad for the distraction. She hadn’t slept well last night because her mind was trying to convince her that the only reason she cared so much about Tom and Taylor was because she was still reeling from her breakup with Greg and not because she genuinely liked Tom. Sure, Tom was gorgeous. All Moyers were. But that didn’t translate into emotional attachment. She barely knew the guy.
Except, the problem with that was, each time she closed her eyes, she remembered how close he was to her outside, the way he told her to breathe, how badly she wanted to kiss him. And then her eyes would snap open and guilt would pool through her stomach because she was most definitely not allowing herself to fall for her friend’s brother, but what did it say about her relationship with Greg if she was already pining away for someone else? She wasn’t flighty. She wasn’t this type of girl.
“Brielle?”
Brielle looked up from her half-eaten banana nut muffin, only to find Tom, dressed for the day in a plain white buttoned shirt and dark slacks that fit him a little too well. His shirt was tucked into his waist, his sleeves rolled to the elbows, and his blond hair falling into his face kind of like a surfer.
He probably did surf before he was moved from Southern California to South Haven, Brielle realized.
“Tom?” Ellie sneered, not even bothering to look at her brother. She scooped up some of her parfait and stuck the spoon in her mouth. “What are you doing here?”
Her words came out garbled.
Tom ignored her, his blue eyes on Brielle. “Actually, I wanted to talk to Brielle.”
“Why?” Ellie asked flatly. She stood up. “You know what? Never mind.” She caught Brielle’s eye. “I’ll see you at lunch?”
Brielle nodded but couldn’t bring herself to respond. She, too, wanted to know why Tom was here to see her. Probably going to say he can’t train you after all.
Tom took the seat Ellie vacated, hunching over and lacing his long fingers together. He seemed unsettled for some reason, his forehead wrinkled. Confusion littered his blue eyes, though Brielle couldn’t say what that was. Tom didn’t seem like the type of guy who got confused. He seemed sure of everything, and if he wasn’t, did a better job at hiding it.
“I just wanted to come by,” he said, and then cleared his throat. His eyes searched the surface of the table, though what he was looking for, Brielle had no idea.
“Um, I know,” Brielle said. Her hands were tight in her lap and she began to shift her shoulders awkwardly. “I totally get it. Don’t worry about it.”
Tom’s furrow in his brow only increased as he brought his eyes up to lock them with Brielle’s brown ones. “Worry about what?” he asked.
“You can’t train me anymore,” she said. Slowly, as the words came out, she began to relax. She didn’t know why that was. Maybe because she accepted it. Maybe that made things easier. “I don’t want there to be any issues between you and Taylor or whatever. I know you’re some kind of TA so I don’t know if you’re even allowed to be dating her in the first place, but um…” Her eyes widened, cheeks turning pink. This was getting away from her. “Anyway, that’s not the point. What I’m trying to say is that I understand if you can’t train me.”
“What?”
“I understand if you can’t train,” she repeated.
“I…” He tilted his head to the side. “Why would you think I couldn’t train you?”
Brielle’s cheeks pinched even more, and she brushed hair from her face, trying to think of something to say. “Well, I just thought,” she began, but she didn’t know how to finish the thought.
“I can train you,” he insisted. “I just came by to apologize for yesterday, for…” He let his voice trail off.
Brielle still didn’t understand until she took in his entire face and not just his eyes.
Oh.
He was apologizing for Taylor.
“I should have mentioned her,” he said.
“It’s not my business,” she said quickly. She didn’t want to talk about Taylor. In truth, she had been trying to forget about her. “You do whatever -”
“Irons is pretty relaxed as long as everyone is consenting adults,” he said quickly.
“O-okay.” Brielle stood. “I should get to class.”
“Right. Of course. You get… to class. But you’ll come train?”
Brielle hesitated. She wasn’t sure she wanted to, even if he was still willing.
You really are going to squander the chance to train because your feelings are hurt? Come on, Brie.
“I’ll be there,” she said. Whether she wanted to or not.
Ellie
“Why the fuck are you back here?”
Ellie stepped into the research wing, still dressed in her uniform. Classes had been a blur, even Professor Irons’ class, only because she was trying to figure out if she needed to be here. She was still chewing over Brielle’s offer to let her handle the research part of this assignment. Brielle was better at research; she said as much, and Ellie knew her well enough to know that that was the truth.
But something made her hesitate. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Brielle. No way. Brielle was probably the only person she trusted right now. She wasn’t even sure what the hell her brother was thinking, dating a student at the facility he was supposed to spy on. Then again, she hadn’t understood him for years. This wasn’t any different.
“Yeah, I’m surprised myself,” she muttered, rolling her shoulders back. Clearing her throat, she eased into the room, glancing at Maria, who was seated at a fancy looking computer that Ellie didn’t recognize the brand of. Irons leaned over her, looking at something on the screen until he heard Ellie’s entrance. “So, can I help, or do I have to apply or something?”
“You?” Irons straightened, giving Ellie a cursory look. “Want to help.”
“Isn’t that what I just said?” she snapped before she could stop herself.
“Only graduates -”
“Maria,” Irons said, his voice curt. He didn’t take his gaze off of Ellie, looking at her with something akin to amusement in his dark eyes. Maria stopped whatever she was going to say and turned back to the computer, clearly chagrined. “You want to volunteer your fucking free time to do something like researching peculiars. I can’t even get my students to keep their fucking eyes open in my class when I talk about sex, sweetheart, and you want to help with research?”
“I mean, maybe not,” she said. “If something like sex is putting your students to sleep, you’re obviously doing it wrong.”
The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, and she chanced a quick look over at Irons, hoping he wasn’t furious with her. She needed to get into this program. She needed access to the information.
Instead of anger, however, there was amusement and something else, something that reminded Ellie of self-assuredness. He stepped over to her, arms crossed over his broad chest, until he stopped directly in front of her. Tilting his head down, he made sure she was watching him closely before he said in a low voice, “I can assure you that sex is not something I could ever possibly do wrong, sweetheart.”
