Building blocks by desig.., p.13
Building Blocks (By Design Book 7), page 13
“She did?”
“Yeah, she did,” Marianne said. “The other night when I found her up drinking coffee at three in the morning. I sort of gathered that maybe she needed to talk.”
“What did she say?” Candace asked.
Marianne took a sip of her tea in order to gather her thoughts. She met Candace’s expectant gaze and smiled. “She was angry,” Marianne said. “Furious, actually. Not just about the name calling, but the fact that this woman had the audacity to speak about you so harshly. Not her, Mom—you. I think she was feeling…. Well, helpless if you want to know the truth. I think if she thought she could get away with it, she would have beat the shit out of Lawson Klein and Laureen Cosgrove. And, I’m not kidding.”
Candace took a moment. She licked her lips and then bit down gently on the lower one in thought. “Did she say that?”
“Yes, actually.”
Candace nodded.
“But, she said she would never do that to Cooper or to you. She was frustrated and angry, Mom.”
“I know. That’s part of the reason she was running so much the last few days. Jameson is used to being able to fix things,” Candace explained with a smile. “Whether that’s the leaky roof or my mood,” she laughed. “This one requires more than her tool belt or some Chinese take-out, I’m afraid.”
“Do you think that you can shield him from it?”
Candace shook her head. “Not forever. For now, and I’m thankful he is too little to understand the words he might hear. But, someday he will hear them. I think for both Jameson and me, we realize that now more than ever before.”
“What do you mean?”
Candace sighed. “The truth is, Marianne if it were not Lawson Klein, it would eventually be someone else. It will be someone else. If it is not about me or about Jameson and me, eventually it will be about who Cooper is or rather what some people will see him as.”
“You mean his color.”
“I do,” Candace said bluntly. “I knew that. Jameson knew that when we adopted him. Hearing it? It’s vile.” Candace closed her eyes. “He’s our son, Marianne. I know how Jameson feels—helpless as you put it. I can’t stop it. I can only try and guide him through it.”
Marianne felt frustration, anger, and pain rolling off her mother. She took Candace’s hand. “Mom, we will all be there for him—all of us. After today? Well, if Spencer turns out as much like you and Rick as I suspect he will? I pity the idiot who messes with his uncle.”
Candace smiled broadly. “Ah, so that was the answer to the Green Monster—make him the protector.”
“Not exactly. He assumed that role all by himself,” Marianne explained. “When I think about it, he has been doing that all along. He’s a leader like his Nana.”
Candace’s pride was evident in the sparkle in her eyes. “He’s confident because he has always felt secure,” Candace said. “That’s why, Marianne. You have as much if not more to do with that than Jameson or me or anyone else for that matter. You’re his mother.”
“I’ve been lost for a while. We both needed you,” Marianne admitted hoarsely.
“I know. That’s what moms are for,” Candace told Marianne. “Some time or another, probably more than a few times, Maddie or Spencer will lose their way for a moment and you will step in to support them and guide them. You did that today with Spencer and Cooper.”
“Not the same thing.”
“Isn’t it?” Candace challenged her daughter. “Sure it is. Those boys love each other. I swear, sometimes they remind me of twins they are so in sync. They need each other. Spencer, he needs to lead,” Candace said. “It’s part of who he is. It’s also how he emulates Rick, Marianne. It’s part of coping with a loss he feels but is too young to understand. And, Cooper? He needs a friend that will be his protector. Someone who is a peer but who will stand up for him. He doesn’t have that confidence yet. They need each other. I’m sure that whatever happened between them hurt them both, not just Cooper.”
Marianne found herself listening to her mother in rapt fascination. She had told Spencer the truth earlier in the day. Marianne often wished that she possessed her mother’s gift for understanding and relating to people. Shell was affable and an excellent communicator, but it was Jonah who had inherited Candace’s natural ability with people the most. He was less boisterous than Shell and less direct than their mother. Sometimes that prevented people from seeing Jonah as he truly was. Marianne chuckled as it occurred to her for the first time why Jameson and Jonah shared such a unique connection.
“Was something I said funny?” Candace was a bit bewildered by Marianne’s laughter.
“No,” Marianne said. “I was just thinking about Jonah.”
“Jonah?”
“Yeah, and J.D.”
“I confess, I am lost.”
Marianne smiled. “When I was talking to Spencer earlier I told him that Cooper looks up to him. He didn’t understand at first. Cooper is older and taller,” Marianne explained. Candace giggled at the raw innocence of her grandson. It was incredibly endearing. “So, I explained that it’s a bit like how I look up to Jonah,” Marianne told Candace. The statement piqued Candace’s curiosity. “Surprised by that?” Marianne asked.
“Curious,” Candace corrected her.
“I was just listening to you talking about the boys. You have this way of seeing people, Mom that most people never can—of understanding them somehow.”
“I’ve lived a while,” Candace winked.
“No, it’s not that. It’s just part of you, I think. Shell is great with people too, but not in the same way. Jonah? Jonah got that gift,” Marianne said affectionately. “He’s always had it, even when he was little. I think people don’t notice sometimes because he is quiet. He does, though.”
“And, that made you think of Jameson?”
“Of Jonah and Jameson. You know, Jonah thinks of you two as his parents. I mean, he loves Dad, but he doesn’t call Dad—ever. To him, you are his parents. Jameson loves us all; I know that, but Jonah is special, I think—because he is actually the most like you. It sort of makes sense.”
Candace smiled softly. She had never taken the time to analyze Jameson and Jonah’s relationship. She was sure that neither Jonah nor Jameson had either, but Marianne’s observation was astute. Candace looked at her daughter proudly and shook her head. “I wish you could have heard yourself just now.”
“Why?” Marianne wondered.
“I’d say that you have a wonderful sense about people,” Candace complimented her daughter. “Sometimes it’s easier to see those traits in someone else than in yourself.”
Candace picked up her tea cup and brought it to the sink. Marianne reached her feet, and Candace pulled her into an embrace. Marianne held onto her mother tightly. Not for the first time in that last few days, Candace felt the fear her family had endured and the relief that followed. She heard Marianne sniffle and held her more tightly. Candace had realized one thing since arriving home, if Jameson had been the one running around trying to take care of everyone else, it had been Marianne who had focused on trying to alleviate the stress for Jameson. A few years ago, Candace would never have imagined that scenario.
“Thank you,” Candace whispered.
“I didn’t do anything,” Marianne said.
“Yes, sweetheart, you did,” Candace disagreed.
Candace pulled back and smiled. Marianne had turned an important corner. As much as Candace enjoyed nurturing her children, she found herself feeling an immense sense of pride in the woman standing before her. Marianne had been through hell. She hadn’t simply survived; she had grown. Candace pressed her palm to Marianne’s cheek, musing that no matter how old her children grew to be, she still saw the same pair of eyes looking at her as the first time they had each been placed in her arms.
“You, my love, have done far more than you know,” Candace said. She kissed Marianne on the forehead. “What do you say we round up those boys and get some rest?”
Marianne nodded and began to follow her mother from the room. “Mom?”
“Hum?”
Marianne choked a bit on her words. “I love you.”
Candace smiled. “I know. I love you too, sweetheart.”
“Is it weird that sometimes I wish I could be Cooper and crawl into your lap?”
Candace laughed. “Not one bit. You’d have me committed if you knew how many times I still wish I could crawl into Pearl’s.”
“Never changes, huh?” Marianne asked as they headed to find the boys.
“Nope, thank God.”
CHAPTER NINE
Candace closed the door to the bedroom quietly, replaced her sweater with an oversized T-shirt and climbed into the bed beside Jameson. She inhaled a deep breath, feeling her body begin to relax for the first time in days. Jameson was lying on her side and Candace scooted closer. She draped her arm over Jameson’s middle and pressed her lips to Jameson’s shoulder lightly. Jameson sighed and turned slowly to face her wife.
“Did I wake you?” Candace asked. Jameson shook her head. “You haven’t slept at all?” Candace asked with concern. Jameson shook her head again. “Jameson.”
“I didn’t want to fall asleep without you. What took you so long?”
“I was talking to Marianne,” Candace explained. “And, then the boys wanted to camp out in Spencer’s room,” she chuckled. “So, we helped them pitch a make-shift fort.”
“Are you okay?” Jameson asked.
“I’m fine. I promise, the most strenuous thing I did all day was walk up the stairs.” Candace watched as Jameson closed her eyes and let out the hint of a sigh. “You need some rest,” Candace said.
Jameson opened her eyes and shook her head again.
“Jameson, I’m right here. Did you sleep at all the last two nights?” Candace asked directly.
“Not really,” Jameson answered truthfully. “I don’t know; my mind was spinning. I kept thinking about you there. I just…”
Candace placed two fingers to Jameson’s lips. “I understand,” she said. She leaned in and replaced her fingertips with the softness of her lips, kissing Jameson gently but deeply.
“I missed you,” Jameson whispered. “Not like when we are usually apart. It felt different. I didn’t like it.”
Candace took Jameson’s face in her hands. “I’m okay.”
“I know you are, but…I can’t explain it to you.”
“You don’t need to,” Candace said before leaning in and kissing Jameson again.
Jameson held onto Candace’s hands as their kiss deepened. She felt the rising tide of arousal begin to heat her skin and pulled back. “No strenuous activity.”
Candace smiled. “Jameson, are you feeling strained?” she teased.
Jameson pursed her lips. “You know exactly what I mean. You are not up to that kind of physical activity, and we both know it.”
Candace snickered and kissed Jameson’s lips softly. She let her hand drift sensually down Jameson’s body and lifted her eyebrow playfully. “What makes you think I am going to strain myself?” she asked flirtatiously. “I don’t find touching my wife particularly strenuous. In fact, I find it rather enjoyable.”
Jameson’s eyelids fluttered and closed when Candace’s hands wandered up her shirt and over her breasts. “Candace…This is…”
“Shh,” Candace whispered in Jameson’s ear before nipping it gently. “You just stay in my arms and let me remind you that I am here.”
“Candace,” Jameson gently protested.
“I’m right here,” Candace repeated. Candace’s lips met Jameson’s tentatively, teasing Jameson deliberately until Jameson was helpless to do anything but invite Candace to explore further.
Jameson attempted to resist Candace’s gentle assault, but she had lost her resolve to fight. Candace’s touch was tender and searching. It conveyed passion, but Jameson knew that Candace meant to communicate something far deeper than lust. Candace had sensed Jameson’s lingering fear. Everything about Candace’s touch told Jameson that Candace understood what Jameson needed most. She needed to be reminded that Candace was safe. Jameson turned her head and lost her breath the moment Candace’s lips strayed to her neck.
Candace sucked gently on Jameson’s pulse point as her fingertips softly brushed over Jameson’s nipples. She sighed at the sound of Jameson’s quiet moan of pleasure. Tender, loving, soft and slow—that is how Candace intended to make love to Jameson—so softly that Jameson would fall into Candace without warning and in complete surrender. She mapped out the flesh of Jameson’s stomach and traced patterns downward to Jameson’s thighs. Candace felt Jameson’s body begin to tense. She coaxed Jameson to look at her just as her fingers began to explore lower.
“Look at me,” Candace said. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere, Jameson. Just feel me right now.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Jameson said.
Candace smiled at Jameson’s honest concern. “Loving you could never hurt me,” she promised.
Candace kissed Jameson softly and continued to tease Jameson gently with her fingers. Jameson clung to her and Candace was sure that Jameson was close to overload. She kissed Jameson passionately and pulled back when Jameson’s body began to tremble slightly.
“Let go,” Candace told Jameson. “I’m right here. Feel me, Jameson. Just feel me and let go.”
Jameson opened her eyes and looked at Candace. Candace smiled lovingly at her, speaking a truth that no words could ever hope to explain. The connection between them had always astonished Jameson. She felt it acutely in the simplest moments, in the gentle grasp of Candace’s hand, in an exchanged smile from across a crowded room, even in the tone of Candace’s voice when she answered one of Jameson’s impromptu calls.
“Candace,” Jameson reached for Candace’s face and held it as she felt herself begin to fall away from reality and into the woman that she loved.
Candace gentled her touch and Jameson’s body immediately began to quake beneath her. “I’m right here,” Candace repeated her promise.
Jameson let go completely. Her hands moved to Candace’s back and held onto Candace firmly as Candace’s touch lifted her again and promptly sent her body spiraling downward in blissful surrender.
“Don’t leave me,” Jameson nearly cried.
Candace pulled Jameson closer as the quaking in Jameson’s body subsided into gentle tremors. She kissed Jameson’s forehead and let her lips linger. “I’m not leaving you anytime soon if I can help it.”
Jameson opened her eyes. “I love you, Candace. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
Candace smiled. “I love you. I don’t want to think about life without you either, believe me,” she professed.
Jameson pulled Candace down and into her protective embrace. “When you are feeling better, I am taking you away for a couple of days,” Jameson said.
“Oh?”
“Coop can stay with my mom for some Grandma time.”
“And, where are you taking me?” Candace asked. She breathed in Jameson’s scent and traced delicate patterns over Jameson’s skin as Jameson held her.
“Don’t know. It won’t be anywhere in New York or Washington. That much I can promise you.”
Candace grinned. “Why is that?”
“Because…I’m selfish and I want you without people clamoring to share you. Just for a couple of days.”
Candace propped herself up and looked at Jameson. “Do you miss it? Just being us?”
Jameson shook her head. “No. It was never just us,” she laughed. “I would like to make time for just us every now and then. I think we both deserve that once in a while.”
“I agree,” Candace said.
“You do?”
“Why does that surprise you?”
“I don’t know. You’re used to having everyone around, I guess. I mean…”
“Jameson, you are the most important person in the world to me. You know that, don’t you? I love the kids. I love Pearl. I love what I do, but I will tell you something. When Drew helped me in that car the other day, the first thought I had was you. I wanted you at that moment more than I have ever wanted anyone with me in my life.”
“You really were scared.”
“Yes, I was,” Candace confessed. “I worry about losing you too, Jameson.”
“Me? I’m not going anywhere.”
“Well good, neither am I,” Candace declared as she fell back into Jameson’s arms.
“So…. Shell and Mel are finally gonna take the plunge,” Jameson chuckled.
“I’m glad Shell figured it out.”
“Did she tell you? What prompted it?” Jameson asked.
“No, she didn’t have to. She’s wanted to marry Melanie for months. She’s just afraid of failing at it somehow. Sometimes, a little wake-up call that forever can come to an end on its own is what you need,” Candace said. Jameson sighed. “Is that sigh about what I just said or something else?” Candace wondered.
“A little of both. I’ve been worried about you. Now, I’m worried about Laura and I’m worried about Coop.”
“Well, you can rest easy about me. As for Cooper and Laura, so am I,” Candace replied. “What did Jonah say today when he called?”
“Not much. Enough that I know Laura told him something about her father…Candace,” Jameson began cautiously.
“Hum?”
“Do you think that the Klein family had something to do with that young boy’s beating all those years ago?”
“Pearl told you.”
“I asked,” Jameson replied.
“The truth is that I don’t know,” Candace said. “My gut tells me, yes.”
“Your gut is usually right,” Jameson pointed out.
“Oh, I don’t know about that. Seems it was pretty full of rocks for a while.”
Jameson chuckled. “You call me a lunatic?”
“Must be contagious.”
“Mm-hm,” Jameson mumbled and then yawned.
