Clothed with the sun, p.10
Clothed with the Sun, page 10
Part of me wondered what would happen if I never found Naomi. I wouldn’t let myself believe it, but what if? And what if the world kept on going? I wouldn’t just live in a hole. I’d go to Princeton, I’d make the world a better place. I had a fortune to spend. But first I had to graduate.
So I went back to school.
My dorm room was tiny and poor compared to our Fifth Avenue penthouse, but it felt more like home. I had a twin bed, a desk, and a shared bathroom down the hall. I ate meals with people I knew. It was simpler, with simpler expectations.
I’d missed more than a month of the semester. The school’s headmaster, without even asking where I’d been, had granted an exception for me. He just said he was sorry for my loss, and that the school had the deepest gratitude to my father for his years of support. I knew they wouldn’t turn away their richest student ever. But, to graduate, I still had to pass exams.
That meant I had to cram.
From dawn to midnight, I lived in a corner of the library. Without V, I had to rely on the school’s old-style tablets for my lessons and studies. I watched all the lectures I’d missed. I read book after book and even caught up on the homework. After five days, I took my first exam—English—and passed. I nailed the question about Holden Caulfield. I took my next exam two days later: precept coding. I aced it. ISA had picked me for a reason.
On the tenth day since I’d returned, I stumbled out of my last exam. I’d done everything required to graduate. Adam and Hoff were waiting for me when I walked out.
“Congratulations!” Adam said.
“Now you can do whatever you want,” Hoff announced. “There’s going to be a huge party tonight. We’re here to help you get started.”
“A party?” I asked, rubbing my eyes. “I’m exhausted.”
“It’s at the castle,” Adam said, as if that was all I needed to know. “Everyone’s going to be there. They’ll be expecting you!”
“Yeah,” Hoff added. “You’ve been MIA for weeks. People have all kinds of theories about you.”
“Theories? Like what?” I asked.
“Some of them say you’re a spy,” Adam suggested. “Like an international double-agent.”
“Ha,” I laughed, “what else?”
“Let’s see,” Hoff mused. “You disappear for a month without telling anyone, and then you show up at a train station in New York right after your father dies. And the guy who’s with you works for the International Security Agency.” He drew a line with his finger in the air. “Even I can connect those dots.”
I tried to laugh it off. “I told you I was in Rome when the earthquake hit. You know it took me a long time to make it back after that disaster.”
“I know,” Adam said. “But people always ask questions. You’re a popular topic these days, that’s all.”
“So why not make the most of it?” Hoff asked. “Why not live it up? Come with us to the party. Finish with a bang!”
That’s how I ended up at “the castle.” It was a couple miles from our school. An alumnus who’d made a fortune growing kidneys had built the place a decade ago. Once a year, a few days before graduation, he invited all the seniors from the boarding schools in the area for a party.
“The party,” Hoff clarified, as we walked up to the castle. There was a huge pool, a full band on stage, and a bar of champagne and cocktails. It seemed like a thousand frenzied seniors swarmed over the enormous space.
I mostly stayed on the balcony overlooking the pool and the fun. Adam and Hoff took turns bringing drinks. Lots of people came up to say hi. They said things like, Sorry about your dad, and What are you doing after graduation?
“Thanks,” I’d say. “Travel the world, then Princeton.”
We’d toast together, “Congratulations!”
The bubbles tickled my throat going down, and I mused about how these kinds of things might have mattered to me once. Inspiring awe in classmates, earning their respect, or at least their envy. But maybe it wasn’t me, I had to admit, it was probably just the money.
True to his word, Hoff helped beat off the girls. He let the pretty ones hang around. A blonde girl named Veronica sat beside me and made me laugh. After a while, Adam told a group around us about our sailing journey. He made up plans as he went. Some of them wanted to come.
“That’s okay with you, right Eli?” Hoff asked.
“Sure. I’ll buy a bigger boat.”
Our group grew as the evening wore on. We laughed more. We drank more. I forgot about ISA and my dreams. The band’s bass rhythm took over the party. It thumped and the guests danced and bounced around the castle. At some point, a group of us dove into the pool. The water looked nothing like a black swamp. It glittered under the castle lights as it played on my numb skin. The air was electric. The world spun around me in chaotic glee. I didn’t remember leaving or falling asleep.
When I woke up in my dorm room, my jeans and shoes were still on. The sun was bright on my bed. So was Veronica. How had she ended up here? I felt disgusting, my mind like a shaken jar of cotton-balls. I stood to head out for fresh air.
“You’re leaving?” Veronica asked, as I opened the room’s creaky old door. She was leaning up on her elbow. She was wearing one of my shirts.
“Yeah, I need some air. Have fun last night?”
“It was amazing!” she said. “Best party of the year. Hoff and I had to drag you to bed. You were hilarious—didn’t want to leave the pool. You kept shouting, It’s my black water!” Veronica laughed. “Remember?”
I stared at her blankly. What else had I said?
“Anyway,” she continued, “we managed to get you back, and you fell right asleep. Hope you don’t mind, I borrowed one of your shirts and crashed here. Hoff said you wouldn’t care. It would’ve been a long walk back.”
I shook my head, mad at Hoff but relieved that’s how the night had ended. “It’s fine,” I told her. “You can keep the shirt.”
“Thanks!” She swung her feet to the floor. “So I guess we’ll be flying out in a few days for our trip, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Can’t wait!” Her bright smile made me think of Naomi, only shallower.
I felt desperate to get out. “I have to go,” I said.
“Okay.” She waved goodbye. “See you on Sunday?”
“Hoff is coordinating everything. He’ll let you know where we’ll meet.”
“Sounds good. Bye Eli!”
My head spun and throbbed as I walked out. If this was what everyone expected of me, I might have a problem.
Thankfully, I graduated two days later.
THE DAY AFTER graduation, seven of us took my jet straight from Massachusetts to Brazil. We’d settled on a week sailing around a virgin archipelago off Brazil’s northeast coast, known as Fernando de Noronha.
A limo picked us up when we landed, taking us toward the ocean. I saw the boat before I saw the harbor. It seemed bigger than the harbor itself, with a metallic mast and white sail reaching high into the sky. At Hoff’s suggestion, I’d bought this brand new sixty-foot catamaran with a vintage cedar interior. From the pictures, it looked epic, so that’s what I named it: Epic. It was even more impressive in person.
As we stepped out of the car, a man rushed to us along the dock. He was like a bronzed Brazilian god, barefoot and barechest. Long dreads were pulled back behind his head, and he wore bright green tropical shorts.
“Ho’ there! Goldsmith party?” His accent was foreign and relaxed.
“You’re the captain?” I asked.
He turned to me. “None other, mon.” His dreads bounced as he bowed his head. “Call me Ronaldo. This ya crew?”
I nodded. “I’m Elijah.” I pointed to the others one by one. “This is Hoff, Adam, Veronica, Liz, Penelope, Adley, Bea, and Madison.” Hoff had insisted on the two-girls-to-one-guy ratio.
“Welcome, friends,” Ronaldo smiled, “you a fine-lookin’ bunch, but ya boat has already stolen my heart. She’s a thing of beauty. Good times awaitin’. We still leavin’ for Fernando today?”
“That’s the plan,” Hoff said. “I’ve heard it’s the best destination in the hemisphere for secluded beaches, clear water, and fresh fish?”
Ronaldo laughed and held his muscled arms out wide, as if measuring a fish. “Finest yellowfin ya ever taste.”
He led us onboard and showed each of us to our quarters. He prepared to set sail after that. Within an hour, we were cruising the open seas. Land soon drifted out of sight. While Ronaldo worked the boat, the rest of us drank piña coladas and laid out on the deck.
“I like this guy,” Hoff was saying about Ronaldo. “Where’d you find him?”
“Funny story,” I said. “With only a few days’ notice, there weren’t a lot of options. A friend I met in DC had sailed with Ronaldo before.” I didn’t mention it was Brie, or that I remembered that she and Chris had spent a week sailing with him. That trip was one of the holes in her memory, so I’d poked around the memory’s edges as much as I could. No leads, except Ronaldo. “Turns out,” I continued, “he doesn’t have any listed contact information, so you have to know someone who knows him. That’s how we got him.” Or so I guessed. After I’d given Bruce the name, he took care of the logistics.
“Well done,” said Hoff. “Always pays to know someone.”
“That’s why we’re keeping you company, Eli,” Adam joked. “Someone has to keep you from paying for the wrong things.”
I smiled at the group around me. “Money couldn’t buy any finer company.”
The girls laughed. They were like stripes of a rainbow, each with a bikini in a different neon color. I let my eyes close. I felt the ocean breeze and remembered Naomi’s face. As much as I tried to distract myself, I missed her.
After a while Ronaldo brought another round of drinks.
“Stay and have one with us,” Hoff said.
“Nah mon, I don’t touch the stuff. Who’s going to keep this ship going straight?”
“Your loss.” Hoff sighed and took a sip. “But nice work…it’s delicious.”
Ronaldo tipped his head. “Keep enjoyin’ the ride.” He turned to me. “Ain’t no wound a lil’ ocean salt can’t cure.”
And so went the sailing. We made it to Fernando de Noronha that day, with Epic slicing through waves faster than the dolphins leaping from the water at our sides. Hoff’s skin had burned like a lobster after he fell asleep on the hull. I assigned Penelope to watch after him. It was clear enough she wanted to.
The first island where we stopped was perfect for escaping all the things that are easy to escape. But not thoughts, not memories. The bars of those cages are strong around a mind.
The next day, when we all drank too much and slept on the beach, Ronaldo planted umbrellas in the sand beside us. He also built a fire and cooked fresh yellowfin tuna. We woke and ate under the stars, with the sound of lapping waves.
The second day we explored the island. It was empty except for lizards and birds. Hoff and Penelope stayed behind. The other girls were fine company. They followed Adam and me around and laughed at our jokes. It was a blur of rum and skin and sun.
We found an outcrop of twenty-foot cliffs dropping into the water. I dove off first. I scraped up my back pretty bad on the coral. Nothing too serious, but the girls took turns rubbing on aloe.
By the third day I’d mostly stopped thinking about my family, Don, ISA, or anything else of consequence. The only exception was Naomi. I still thought about her as often as I breathed. Veronica and the other girls only made it worse. Sure, they looked great. They were fun to drink and dance with. But they were empty of substance—weightless compared to Naomi. It seemed like the further I ran, the heavier she was in my soul, and the worse her words hurt: please don’t try to find me.
I did not remember falling asleep any of the nights. I kept V turned off, so I had no record of what happened except for the group’s hazy memory. All I knew was: wake up, pour a bloody mary, and dive into the water. By noon, my head would stop throbbing and start grooving to Ronaldo’s steel drum music. Then it was fresh fish, rum, and Epic until I woke up again.
BY THE FIFTH day, I was bored and annoyed. Hoff was spending all his time with Penelope. Adam cared only about the girls. It seemed like they’d given up on me.
Maybe they were afraid. I’d heard them whispering about things I said in my sleep. Apparently the dream pills had limits. I said things I couldn’t remember. This morning Veronica had asked me about Naomi and the dragon. I wondered what it would be like if the group left me alone.
I’d asked Ronaldo to prepare the biggest feast yet. Now, as the sun dropped below the horizon, he was cooking a pot of lobster on a roaring fire on a secluded beach. I was drinking by myself while I watched him work. The others were swimming and laughing by the shore. Epic gleamed behind them, in the cove.
“Ya missin’ the fun,” Ronaldo said.
“Fun?” I kicked at the sand, burying my feet under the fine white powder. “This was supposed to be an escape. Now I just want an escape from them.”
“They’s tried to cheer you up, mon.”
“Not hard enough.”
“Mon, you got it bad. Can’t see what ya got till ya lost it. I figure that’s the way most of us do.”
“Just watch,” I said, “I’ll be better off without them.”
“I’ll watch, but I’ve warned you, mon.”
“I’m in charge here.”
“As far’s a man in charge, I guess that’s right.”
We were quiet then. I finished my drink and poured another. A full moon rose over the water. It lit a silvery path to the horizon.
Eventually Ronaldo looked out to the others. “Lobster’s ready!” he shouted.
The group of them staggered toward us.
“You should have come!” Hoff said to me.
“The water’s perfect!” Veronica laughed, her chest heaving and sparkling in the moonlight. “After we eat, you’ve gotta come. Someone’s gotta show Adam how to keep his hands to himself.”
They all laughed as if it were some inside joke. Veronica grabbed my hand, swaying this way and that, trying to pull me to my feet.
I yanked my hand free. “What if there isn’t a next time?”
“Come on, Eli!” Adam rubbed his hand in my hair. “Lighten up, buddy. We’re just having a laugh.”
“That’s all you guys want to do. Have a laugh.”
“Aren’t we here to have fun?” Hoff asked. “You got a better idea?”
“Yeah.” I sprang to my feet. “You can all leave, go home.”
“Come off it!” Hoff said, grinning drunkenly.
“I’m serious.”
“Yeah, we can see that,” Adam said, his voice rising. “One minute you’re all fun, then next you’re all dark and stormy. Get over yourself!”
I stepped forward, into Adam’s face. “You think I invited you so you could just take whatever you wanted?”
Veronica stepped between us, facing me. “Guys, it’s okay, take it easy. Eli, what’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” I tried to move around her but slipped in the sand and fell into her and Adam. The three of us went crashing down.
Next thing I knew, Adam and I were going at it. We rolled in the sand, shoving and kicking. I managed to pin him down and pulled back my fist to knock him out.
Then something pulled me off, my arms and legs flailing in fury. “Let me go!” I shouted.
“Nah, mon, I allow no fightin’ among my crew, no matter what’s the reason.”
Ronaldo’s burly arms gave me no quarter. My body sagged and he let me go. The world spun too fast under my feet. I willed myself to stand straight as I squared off against Adam again.
“I’m leaving,” Adam threatened.
“Fine. Go ahead. Pack up tonight.” I wiped my mouth. There was blood on my hand. I looked around at the group. They were staring at me as if I was crazy. “Ronaldo, make arrangements for a helicopter to fly them back at dawn.”
Veronica stepped forward. “But—”
“All of you!” I shouted. Then I stormed off, without a clue where I was going.
I GAZED UP at the dragon. He was on the mountain’s peak again. I’d seen him there before, with the baby in his mouth. Now his mouth was empty, except for razor teeth and a serpent’s tongue. He blinked at me in contempt, as if he had no use for me.
His giant wings unfurled and flapped. The wind almost knocked me back as he took flight. His long body soared like an eagle away from me, toward flashing lights in the distance.
Not just lights. Bombs. Explosions.
I knew I could not stop the dragon. I could not stop the bombs. I could only run. Run and hide.
I turned the other way down the mountain and sprinted. I leapt over rocks and bounded toward the vast plain below. Half way down my foot caught against the root of a gnarled little tree. I tripped head over feet. I tumbled down, my body out of control. I fell and fell, reaching and searching for something to stop me.
There was nothing but the sense of falling.
After what felt like an eternity, I slammed onto the bottom. It was a flat plain, the earth cracked with dryness. I laid on my back, my body scraped and bruised, knowing this pain would take time to heal.
I breathed deeply and opened my eyes.
I was under a palm tree. I must have forgotten my dream pill and everything else before falling asleep.
My head was throbbing. My mouth was parched. The bright morning sun was painful in my eyes. My only solace was the sound—gentle lapping waves, singing tropical birds, and a soft melody on a ukulele.
Ronaldo was sitting on the shore, strumming the strings and gazing out over the perfect blue water. Epic was still anchored in the cove. There were no other signs of activity.
I was tempted to turn on my precept for the first time since Don had hacked into it. V would be good company. She’d confirm that all the others were gone. She’d give me reports on more disasters around the world, on people with real suffering. There was nothing like a dose of true pain and loss to cure the whining of the privileged.
