Truly wanted, p.4
Truly Wanted, page 4
She had a standing weekly lunch with Sam on Wednesday, where they liked to try somewhere new each week. They had run out of places a while back and were now circling back around until somewhere new popped up, which never took long. Her heart beat a little faster as she thought about seeing Sam for lunch. What was wrong with her?
She grabbed her phone to ring Maddie, Jacob’s sister, and arrange Friday night. Maddie turned twenty-one earlier this year; she was barely an adult when Jake died. She doted on Finley, and he idolized her right back, not just because she spoiled him rotten. Maddie agreed readily to mind him Friday night; she would stay over at Brooke’s as she usually did, sleeping in Sam’s room. Sam would just crash with Brooke. Like they’d done many times in the past.
So why did the thought suddenly make her stomach flip?
Would it be weird? No, she needed to get her head back to normal if she had any hope of not ruining their friendship. Being weird about sharing a bed wouldn’t help.
Her stomach plummeted with her next thought. Would Sam even come home with her? She could end up going home with someone else. Brooke had watched Sam leave bars with other women after nights out together plenty of times in the past, but that hadn’t happened since Jacob died. Not with Brooke around, at least.
Sam was a grown adult and she’d asked Brooke to be a wingwoman. It wasn’t a girls’ night. Sam had no obligation to stay with Brooke for the night. That was the purpose of this, right?
Thankfully, Finley pulled her out of her thoughts right then with his impatience. As she strapped him into his car seat and drove to the library, she vowed to get it out of her head. Whatever happened Friday, she would be sure to be supportive. Encouraging. The best friend that Sam had been to her all along.
If only she could get over this irrational jealousy, all would be fine.
Chapter Four
The work week finally came to an end, and Sam was both excited and apprehensive about the evening ahead. The plan was to meet Brooke at eight p.m. at Blaze, the place that would be their usual if they went out enough to have a usual. It was the only specifically queer bar in the county. Some other places had LGBTQ+ nights here and there, but this place was run by a queer couple and it was always pretty packed. They served food until late, had some pool tables and arcade games that Sam had lost many a night glued to. Neither of them were big drinkers so the relaxed atmosphere suited them well.
Sam had a couple of hours after she clocked off work to get home, change, agonize over her decision to do this, and get the bus right on time. As she walked into the bar, she looked around but couldn’t see Brooke yet. Not surprising. Despite the fact that she lived close, with a toddler to wrangle, it was rare Brooke got anywhere on time. Sam was happy it was early enough to still get a booth. She grabbed a drink and sat in the one nearest the door to keep an eye out, scoping out the room as she did.
It was quiet, still early yet. There were a few familiar faces dotted around that nodded or smiled at her and some people she had never seen before. Those were the ones she was most interested in. She needed someone new, without the complications of history. A fresh start. Something she definitely wouldn’t find with Brooke.
That didn’t stop Sam from letting her eyes roam over Brooke’s body while she made her way through the door and toward the booth. In tight denim jeans and a dark blue halter that matched her irises perfectly, she looked beautiful. Sam was in her usual black jeans and shirt, this time red, but it suited her. As Brooke sat, Sam passed her the drink she had already ordered.
“Right, what’s the game plan? See anyone you like yet?” Brooke was awfully enthusiastic. Why wouldn’t she be? She wanted Sam to find someone so they could go on fabulous double dates with her and whatever her name was. Dani. As if the name wasn’t imprinted in Sam’s mind. Sam took another drink before she replied, “Nobody yet, but it’s early.”
They chatted easily for a while, as they always did. Sam almost forgot why they were even there. It could just be another night of hanging out with her best friend, her favourite thing to do. They discussed work, Finley, a TV show they were both watching, Finley, weekend plans, and, of course, Finley. Although it was good for Brooke to get the time to herself, they both cherished him and rarely tired of discussing the funny things he said and did.
The conversation shifted to their week, although they had only met for lunch on Wednesday and knew most of the interesting things. Or so she thought.
“When I met Dani for lunch on Tuesday, she mentioned this little place we need to try for our next lunch.” Brooke kept animatedly describing the place, but Sam froze. It only took Brooke a minute to know something was wrong. “What’s up?” Brooke enquired, brows furrowed. “You…met Dani Tuesday?” Sam tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, but it was hard to keep the irrational hurt from her voice.
“I…yeah. I did. I thought I mentioned it.”
The lie was obvious, but the reason for the lie was not. Brooke hadn’t mentioned it, and she knew it. Sam could tell she knew it. Why lie? Unless…she knew Sam felt more for her and she didn’t want to hurt her. That had to be it. Sam swallowed. Then she swallowed again. Brooke’s eyes were anywhere but on her, and she was glad for that as she blinked back tears and excused herself to use the bathroom. She sat in the cubicle and took a minute to breathe as the familiar ache gripped her chest and her thoughts spiraled.
Brooke knew, didn’t she? Of course she did.
Sam had only thought a minute ago how well they knew each other. As she ran her fingers through her hair and tried to get herself under control, her heart pounded. Why hadn’t Brooke said anything to her? But that part was obvious, wasn’t it? Sam’s heart squeezed as the words she had known she would eventually have to face flitted through her mind.
Brooke thought Sam had feelings for her, and she didn’t feel the same.
The pain ripped through Sam as she pressed her palm to her shaking knee. It was why Brooke insisted Dani was just a friend. Why she hadn’t told her about the lunch. The easiest way to find out the truth, instead of jumping to conclusions, was to go out there and ask Brooke. Ask her best friend about this as she would about anything else. But she couldn’t help but think that Brooke didn’t bring it up for the same reason Sam kept her feelings to herself. Because the pain of rejection could ruin their friendship. A friendship that was much too important for that. Which meant, right now, Sam needed to pull herself together.
Nothing had changed, not really. She was still here for the same reason, possibly more so than ever. She took one more moment to remind herself she was safe, and she got her breathing under control. Then she shook it off and left the cubicle. A woman stood at the row of sinks when Sam walked out.
“Hey.” The woman’s voice was smooth, her smile was genuine.
“Hey.” Sam was glad to see her reflection in the mirror didn’t portray the spiral of minutes ago. She let her eyes wander to the woman in front of her as they both washed their hands.
She was beautiful, with warm brown skin, rich black curls that fell just past her shoulder, and startling hazel eyes that appeared to be smiling. Sam gulped. The woman didn’t make a move to leave after drying her hands and neither did Sam. “Sam…me…that’s my name,” she stuttered and held out her hand. Like a weirdo. Did people even do that anymore? The woman didn’t seem to mind. Her smile got wider as she took Sam’s hand in hers, soft skin smoothly moved across her palm.
“Hi Sam, I’m Ruby.”
Sam pulled her hand back reluctantly. She stood there, unsure how to proceed. Luckily, Ruby had way more skill than she did. “I better head back to my friends. Maybe I could buy you a drink later? If you’re not here with someone, that is.” She added that last part with a hopeful smile that sent the butterflies in Sam’s stomach into overdrive. Sam marvelled at her confidence.
She usually had more skill than this, but she was never very outgoing; that’s why Brooke did most of the talking when they were out with other people. Sam was always anxious about what would come out of her mouth; social situations were a minefield she hadn’t quite mastered yet. “I am. I mean, here with someone. But she won’t mind.” Sam noticed Ruby’s eyebrow rise slightly.
“Hey whatever works for you both.” Sam frowned at the sentence before she replayed her own and got the meaning.
“Oh no, no, I mean not no, I don’t judge but—oh God, my mouth won’t cooperate with my brain’s demands to shut up.” Ruby laughed out loud at this and shook her head lightly.
“You’re okay. Take your time. This is far better than small talk.”
Sam took a breath and smiled at Ruby’s words. Small talk did suck, and she’d never been any good at it. Time to try again. “I am here with someone, my friend. We’re not dating. So yes, I’d love to grab a drink with you if you get bored of your friends and want to hear more barely coherent rambling.”
They walked out of the bathroom together and toward where Brooke sat. As Sam pointed the booth out to Ruby, she noticed the other side was now occupied by a woman she didn’t recognize. Her gut clenched at their hunched positions, deep in conversation. Worry lines on Brooke’s forehead made Sam think this wasn’t a random person trying to hit on Brooke. Sam stalled a little, thinking she would just tell Ruby that her friend was busy, and they should grab that drink now. Before she got the words out, Ruby barrelled ahead of her and tapped the woman on the shoulder. “I leave you alone for one minute and you replace me? Nice, Dani.”
Dani?
* * *
Brooke blinked rapidly, lost for words at the person standing in front of her. Dani hadn’t mentioned being here on a date. The woman laughed and quickly filled in the gaps at Brooke’s obvious confusion. “Sorry, sorry. I couldn’t resist. You’re Brooke, right? Dani has told me a lot about you.” She held her hand out to a still startled Brooke.
Brooke smiled and shook the outstretched hand, a little confused. “How’d you know my name?” Before the other woman replied, she noticed Sam approaching from her far-too-long bathroom trip. Brooke’s brain and mouth had disconnected so she sighed in relief when Dani started introductions. “Brooke, this is my friend Ruby. Ruby, this is Brooke, which you seemed to have eerily guessed already. I’m assuming that the confused person standing next to you, likely wondering why her booth has been invaded, is Sam?”
As Sam registered her name, she snapped back to attention. Ruby casually placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder as she spoke up. “Oh, I know Sam. We go way back. She pointed Brooke out to me, hence the name knowing.” The gears in Brooke’s head turned as she tried to place Ruby. She knew all of Sam’s friends. She would remember a beautiful woman with charm oozing from her pores.
Sam finally found her voice, likely as shocked at the bizarre situation as Brooke was. The night had veered off course and change was not Sam’s comfort. “Slight exaggeration. We just met. In the bathroom.”
Sam met this woman in the bathroom, who happened to be Dani’s friend? Bizarre was an understatement. She realized all eyes were on her and imagined the story that played out on her face. She tried to mask her discomfort and convey what she hoped was a picture of friendliness. “Nice to meet you, Ruby.”
Sam gave her a look that said she wasn’t fooling her. She wasn’t doing a great job at containing the jealousy that veered its ugly head as Ruby slid into the booth and made room for Sam. Brooke explained that she’d noticed Dani at the bar when Sam left for the bathroom. Being the only queer late-night hangout in town, it was unsurprising they’d bump into each other. She left out the part where she blurted out to Dani her worries about lying to Sam and the reasons behind it that she had yet to face.
Ruby bought Sam a drink, as if she were incapable of getting her own. Brooke kept her eye roll internal this time. They chatted, all four of them. Brooke made an effort to loosen up, especially after some pointed looks from Dani and quizzical ones from Sam. Honestly, as time passed, she started to enjoy herself. Dani and Ruby were both easy to talk to. She had been right about Dani and Sam getting along. Plus, Sam saw firsthand that Brooke hadn’t lied about being just friends with Dani. There were no discreet touches, no overt flirting, no gazing across at each other or under table footsie. Not between Brooke and Dani.
Ruby, on the other hand, was unabashedly doing all of those things with Sam. She worked in sales, and Brooke had no doubt she must be excellent at her job with the natural charm and confidence that shone. She even laughed at Sam’s jokes and listened to the off-topic side stories with genuine enthusiasm. Sam was very clearly flattered and charmed. After one too many arm caresses, Brooke excused herself under the guise of grabbing another drink at the bar.
Dani joined her and leaned close. “You holding up okay?” Brooke sighed. Lying or pretending would be futile. Even if they’d only known each other a short amount of time, Dani was the only person who got why her head currently spun with confusion and irritation.
“I’m okay. I have no reason not to be, right? Ruby seems great.” Dani took a moment before she replied. “She is. Really great. As is Sam. Actually, she looks really familiar, but I can’t place her. It’s been bugging me all night.”
Brooke was distracted, her brain still buzzed with an overlap of confused feelings. She barely took in a word that Dani spoke.
She realized after a beat she hadn’t replied. “You’ve probably run into each other before. It’s not like it’s a big place. Look, don’t mention anything to Ruby about your suspicions about me and Sam okay? I don’t want to ruin anything for her because I can’t get my hormones under control.”
Dani appeared to wrestle with her thoughts for a moment before replying. “Okay, I won’t say anything unless I think it’s going to hurt Ruby. But I need to warn you. Ruby’s here on a mission tonight. She’s not long out of a pretty shitty relationship and she’s ready to hop back in the saddle, so to speak. I don’t think she’s exactly looking for long-term.”
Brooke’s chest filled with irrational anger at the idea of Ruby using Sam as her saddle, for lack of a better phrase. Sam was worth more than that. “She’s most likely asking Sam to leave with her right about now. I wanted to warn you so you could try to hide that jealousy you’re still denying a little better when we go back there, if Sam accepts.”
Brooke appreciated the heads-up. Sam would accept. Why wouldn’t she? She was here tonight for the same reason, clearly they’d hop back in that saddle together and Brooke for one did not want to bear witness to that. The mental image it brought was enough to make that ball in her chest grow spikes.
She quickly grabbed her phone and told Dani she’d meet her back at the booth as she rang Maddie to check in on Finley. He’d be fast asleep, but it was her best excuse. She needed a break before she headed back there. Watching Sam walk out the door with Ruby would shatter any pretence Brooke still maintained that her feelings were nothing more than friendly.
Chapter Five
“Finley won’t settle for Maddie so I’m gonna go.” Sam raised an eyebrow at Brooke’s words. She was lying. Finley was down for the count by eight p.m. every night. That kid slept more than anyone she knew. Brooke looked at Sam and then pointedly darted her gaze toward Ruby, whose back was turned as she talked to Dani quietly.
Brooke was indicating that she was trying to get out of their hair. Sam’s brain, heart, and libido all wrestled for attention. Ruby had just asked her not so subtly to get out of here and get to know each other better, alone. Even she wasn’t out of the game long enough to not recognize code for sex. It’s not like she’d never been picked up on a night out before, and she had asked Brooke to be her wingwoman tonight, right? So why did it suddenly feel so very wrong?
Dani had returned before Sam answered Ruby, and was now talking quietly to Ruby. Sam focused on Brooke. She looked sad. Sam wondered what she and Dani had discussed so intensely at the bar.
Dani and Ruby seemed finished with their conversation and Ruby’s eyes were on her. Dani glanced between them all as Brooke stood, bag in hand like she was ready to flee. Sam shook her head and she could practically feel the lust-filled side of her brain scold her. “No worries, let’s go wrangle the kiddo.”
She turned to the two women who now regarded them curiously. “Dani, it was nice to finally meet you. Ruby, it was great chatting with you. I’m glad our bladders were in sync.” Had she really just said that? The amusement on the women’s faces showed her that yes, she had.
“No, Sam, honestly, stay. Enjoy the rest of your night.” Brooke was restless, which was usually Sam’s forte. Brooke was usually the calmer of the two.
Sam didn’t hesitate with her reply. “That’s all right, Brooke. />I promised Fin I’d be there in the morning. I’m coming with you.”
She stood her ground and Brooke had no option but to suck it up or make a scene. Sam wasn’t lying. Tonight was supposed to be her chance to get back in the game. Flirt a little, dance a little, maybe even find someone who made her want to know more. But she never had any intention of falling into bed with anyone, and as tempting as Ruby made it sound, she wasn’t one for breaking her promises. Finley wouldn’t be happy if he woke and Sam wasn’t there, ready for their day at the aquarium. It was a valid excuse, but a flimsy one. She had a feeling Brooke knew as well as she did that it was more than that.
Ruby, however, cut the conversation short and made it easy. “That’s okay, we’re heading off anyway. It’s about past my bedtime.” By the quirk of her mouth and the look in her eyes, Sam knew that was exactly where she had planned to continue their alone time. “It was great to meet you both. Maybe another time, Sam?” Her voice phrased it as a question, but she didn’t wait for a reply.
