“Right.” I shake my head and start the engine. Of course, Cass would gravitate towards a nutcase.

  We travel in silence as I follow the dirt driveway up a small incline until a white cottage comes into view. I pull up alongside the house and leave the car running as I wait for her to get out. “Are you coming inside?”

  “Is Cassandra in there?”

  “No. She’s staying in the cabin further down.” She points out the front windscreen as she speaks. “It’s towards the rear of the property.”

  “If I follow the driveway, will it lead me there?”

  “In the morning yes … she’s asleep right now … she had a big day today and needs her rest.”

  “Delivering piglets?”

  “She did a mighty fine job too. I’m very proud of her.”

  That makes me smile. Cassie needs more supportive people in her life. I understand why she’s hung around now.

  “Is it okay if I wait here, or are you going to threaten to blow my head off again?”

  “If you don’t come inside, I might just do that.”

  “You’d shoot me for not coming inside?”

  She taps her forefinger against her temple. “A hunter never reveals their hand.”

  “I’m pretty sure that’s a poker player.”

  “Hmm, you may be right. The question is, are you willing to take the chance?”

  “I’d prefer to stay out here if that’s okay with you.”

  “Have you eaten?”

  “No, not since lunch.”

  “That’s what I thought.” She opens her door, groaning as she swings her legs out. “Come, I bought some leftovers home from the dancing goat.”

  Food from a goat … that dances no less? This woman is crazier than I thought.

  Martha yawns as she rises from her chair and collects my plate. She was right when she said she had leftovers, and they were delicious. I also found out that The Dancing Goat is the name of the café where she works. It’s how she and Cass met.

  She happily chatted with me the entire time I ate. About her late husband, her animals, and everything Cassandra has been up to since she arrived.

  “How did you know I was parked in the street?” I ask as she rinses the plate I was eating off. The homestead is quite a distance from the road, so I know she wouldn’t have been able to see me from up here. Unless she sits at her window with a pair of binoculars, which doesn’t seem too far-fetched for this woman.

  “My husband installed a camera in one of the trees by the front gate. It came in handy when we used to lease out the cabins. It would alert us when our guests arrived.”

  “You don’t lease them anymore?”

  “That was his domain … the café’s mine. It’s a shame they’re sitting there unused, but I don’t have the time or the energy anymore. I’m busy with work and attending to the animals. That woman of yours has been a godsend, having her here has lightened my load. I’ll miss not having her around.”

  “She told you about us?”

  “A little. She went on and on about your good looks, but now I can see that girl wasn’t exaggerating. Hot damn.” The wink she gives me has me squirming a little in my seat. I’m not entirely comfortable being objectified. My looks have worked to my advantage over the years, but it gets old fast. “The first thing that stood out to me when we met, was her sad eyes, I get the feeling she’s been through a lot.”

  “She has.” So much more than I ever imagined. And as much as my heart breaks for her, I can’t help but admire her strength. The resentment I’ve been carrying around for the past week vanished the moment I read her letter.

  Martha wipes her hands on a tea towel, hanging it neatly over one of the cupboard doors before shuffling towards the doorway. “I’m going back to bed. Goodnight.”

  She’s going to leave a strange man in her house while she sleeps? “Ah, Okay. I’ll head back to my car then,” I say, standing.

  She waves her hand dismissing me. “Nonsense, I have a perfectly comfortable lounge you can sleep on. Make yourself at home. You’ll find pillows and blankets in the hall cupboard near the front door.”

  “Thank you again for the food,” I say to her retreating back. “And for not shooting me.”

  Martha throws her head back and cackles. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, young man. If you upset my Cassie tomorrow, I might have to carry through with that threat.”

  What a strange night this has turned out to be.

  Despite her invitation, I headed out to the car, turning off her lights as I went and locking the front door behind me. I didn’t feel right staying in her house, I barely knew the woman.

  I reach over to the passenger side seat where I dropped my phone and click on the screen to see the time. It’s just after three in the morning. Leaning back into my seat, I scrub my hands over my face and groan. Martha said Cass gets up at six to feed the animals before breakfast, but that’s hours away. I stare ahead into the darkness, in the direction that I presume her cabin is, and with each passing minute, I become more unsettled.

  I’m desperate to see her, and I can’t wait that long. I’m not game enough to start the car up though; I’m likely to have Martha shooting out my taillights if I do.

  Reaching for the door handle, I slowly open it, trying to be as quiet as I can. I’m not even sure how far Cass’s cabin is from here, but even if I can’t find it, a walk will do me good. Sitting here is driving me around the bend, and if nothing else, it will help kill some time.

  I click the torch icon on my phone, then start down the dirt road. I’m not used to such complete darkness, it’s so black out here you can’t see your hand in front of your face. Even the full moon and countless number of visible stars do nothing to light my way.

  I’m not a person who spooks easily, but the weird and creepy sounds coming from the distance, and poor visibility, have my senses on high alert. I hope I don’t come in contact with a wild boar.

  I’ve been walking for about five minutes now, and I still haven’t stumbled upon her cabin. I did pass through a cobweb though, which had me karate chopping the air like a ninja. Thankfully, nobody was around to witness that less-than-manly act. I checked myself over with the torch, and I’m pretty sure the spider isn’t on me, but my skin still crawls nevertheless.

  I continue along the road, shining the torch towards the ground as I go. After a while, I stop and lift my arm illuminating it in the distance, hoping to see her building. I hear some twigs crack beside me, and my body immediately spins in that direction. I remain as still as a statue, even going as far as holding my breath. I hear another twig snap and rustling of leaves, and I’m now regretting not driving. This place is as creepy as fuck. I’m guessing Martha and her shotgun would’ve been the safer route.

  My feet are killing me, and my usually polished dress shoes are now a dusty brown, along with the cuffs of my trousers. I should’ve changed into something more comfortable before I left, but I was in too much of a rush to get here.

  I glance behind me, but the way back to my car is probably longer than the one ahead, so I decide to keep moving forward. As I take a step, a large kangaroo jumps in front of my path. I drop the phone in my hand on instinct and raise my clenched fists ready to take him out if need be.

  He’s a huge buck, almost the size of me, and built like a brick shithouse. I’ve done loads of kickboxing sessions in my time, but I’m not sure if I’m any match for this motherfucker and his razor-sharp claws. It pauses for a moment; when it makes eye contact with me, I cock an eyebrow, daring him to make his move, but he bounds away instead. Pussy.

  “For fuck’s sake,” I growl as I bend down to retrieve my phone. Out of all the places my girl could flee, she chose the fucking country. Give me the hustle and bustle of city life any day.

  I swear I’ve walked a kilometre, maybe two, by the time the cabin comes into view. Her red Mercedes-Benz is parked outside, so I know it’s the right one. It’s a lot smaller than the main house, but quaint. It has a matching bullnose veranda. I shine the light around the vicinity; she’s so secluded down here, surrounded by nothing but bushland, and I don’t like it one bit.

  I move to the base of the stairs that lead to the front porch, and that sickly feeling I had in my stomach on the drive here returns. Will she even want to see me after the way I’ve acted?

  I’ve been so lost in my own head since I found out about the baby, I never once considered what she had gone through, and now that I know the truth, I feel like a colossal arsehole. This poor woman has been to hell and back, with zero support along the way.

  As much as my heart breaks for her and everything she’s had to endure, I admire the hell out of her, and the resilience she had to keep going, because her situation would’ve broken many.

  She was a kid, betrayed in the worst possible way by a person who should’ve protected her most. She’s suffered in silence for years all because she was trying to protect me and continued to smile through her sadness nevertheless. I fucking love her for that, but I wish she hadn’t.

  Legally, there is nothing her mother can do to me; I know it, and so does she. We were young and in love, and the only crime that was committed was by her. I imagine it would be easy to manipulate a child when they know no better. She was bluffing and poor Cass is so conditioned by that baby-murdering cunt, she took her threats as gospel.

  The real kicker here is that she’s a doctor … someone who has supposedly dedicated her life to saving others. I promise you one thing, by the time I’m through with Amanda Lewis she’ll regret the day she was born.

  I suck air into my lungs as I take the four steps and cross the landing in three long strides. Raising my hand, I pause. I don’t want to scare Cassie by knocking this time of morning, but I’ve come this far, and I need to see her.

  Shaking out my shoulders, I move my head from side to side a few times before raising my hand to tap twice. I wait about a minute before I do it again, this time with a little more force. A few seconds later, the door swings open and a squinty-eyed Cassandra stands before me, and fuck me if my heart doesn’t skip a beat. One look at her pretty face and it feels like the organ that’s been lying dormant in my chest since she left suddenly kicks back to life.

  She looks like a hot mess in that oversized T-shirt that hangs off one shoulder, and her usual immaculate hair is sticking up all over the place, but she’s a beautiful mess. My beautiful mess.

  “Connor,” she gasps in surprise.

  “I can’t believe you just opened the door in the middle of the night without even asking who it was.”

  “I thought it was Martha.”

  “I could’ve been an axe murderer, Cass.” Her caramel eyes widen as she bites the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth … she knows I’m right. I reach up and use the pad of my thumb to drag it free.

  I want to kiss her so bad.

  “What are you doing here? Am I dreaming?”

  She pinches a chunk of skin on her forearm, and when she winces, I smile. “You’re not dreaming, Princess,” I say. “I’m really here.”

  “Why? How?”

  “I read your letter today.”

  “You did?” she asks as tears rise to her eyes.

  “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for everything you went through.” My voice cracks as I speak. “I’m so fucking sorry, Cass.”

  When her sob breaks free, I engulf her in my arms, crushing her body to mine. “I loved our baby, Con … I loved it so much.”

  I clench my eyes shut as I struggle to keep my own emotions at bay. “I know, sweetheart,” I say, running my hand soothingly over her hair. “I know.”

  Chapter 21

  Cassie

  Connor Maloney was the last person I expected to see when I opened the door, but having him here—being in his arms again—is like a dream come true. I thought I’d lost him forever … that there was no coming back for us this time, but I’m glad I was wrong.

  I sob into his chest, for our relationship, for our child, for all the things that were taken from us. He doesn’t let me go for the longest time, and if I could stay cocooned in his arms like this, for eternity, I would. This is the only place I’ve ever truly felt safe.

  When he finally releases me and draws back, he does something completely unexpected. He tenderly cups my jaw in his hands, swipes the pads of his thumbs over my cheeks to wipe away my tears, and then he leans in and kisses me like his life depends on it. Devouring me like he’s starved of oxygen, and I’m the air he needs to survive.

  I don’t hold back either, I’m all in.

  I left Sydney on a quest to find myself, but I’m not naive enough to think it will happen overnight. It’s going to be a long and tedious process because I have years’ worth of baggage to unpack. I can only hope that now I’ve purged all of my secrets, I’ll continue to move forward with my healing.

  I’ve enjoyed the solitude that this place has brought me, as well as Martha and the animals, but when the chores are finished and night falls, the loneliness sets in. Having Connor here, for however long that may be, is something I’ll cherish.

  He tugs my body closer, and I whimper into his mouth. Crossing the threshold, he kicks the door closed with his foot, then walks me backwards across the room until we hit a wall. Our mouths part as he slides his hands underneath the T-shirt I’m wearing, palming my butt cheeks with his big strong hands.

  “Are you okay with this?” he asks, making sure this is what I want before he takes it any further. He’s always been considerate of others—which is only one of his many admirable traits—and I’m glad his suffering, at my hands, hasn’t robbed him of that.

  “I’m more than okay with this,” I answer, reaching for the buttons of his dress shirt. What I want to do is rip his clothes off with my teeth, but thankfully I manage to contain that urge.

  “I didn’t come here for this,” he clarifies. “I just needed to see you.”

  “I want this,” I reiterate, skimming my hand over his thick, dark hair. I have nothing holding me back now. No guilt, no lies … no secrets. “I want you, Con. I’ve always wanted you.”

  My confession has the corners of his lips tugging into a grin. “I’ve never stopped wanting you, Princess. Never.”

  I was twelve when we officially met, but I knew who he was prior to that, because we not only attended the same school, but Connor Maloney was the object of every girl’s attention. Like he was the sun and the entire female population were the planets that gravitated around him.

  “I feel like I’ve spent my entire life craving you.” My hand slides from his hair to caress the side of his face. His light stubble scratches against my skin as I do. “Especially when we were apart.”

  I can’t remember a time I didn’t ache for this man, even when he acted like he hated me.

  His eyes are locked with mine as his hands rise over my waist and skim upwards along my spine, bringing the T-shirt with him as he goes. I lift my arms in the air so he can tug it over my head. He glances at the tee before tossing it aside. “Is this my shirt?”

  I grimace. “I stole a few out of the washing basket in the laundry before I left.”

  He chuckles as he leans forward, nipping at my bottom lip. “I like that you were wearing my clothes, but I prefer you like this,” he admits as his gaze moves down to my bare chest. His hands gravitate in the same direction as the tips of his fingers skim over my ribcage, causing goosebumps to pebble in their wake.

  He palms my breasts in his strong hands before tweaking my hardened nipples between his forefingers and thumbs. My lips part as I tilt my head back and moan. I’ve been with other men since we broke up six years ago—which is something I’m not proud of—but none of the others have been able to make my body hum like he does.

  You can only find heaven if you back away from hell.

  I push his unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders and down his arms as his hands slide into the back of my satin underwear, squeezing my cheeks as he tugs my body closer. Skin to skin. My soft against his hard. He has the most amazing body … ripped and muscular.

  His looks and physique, although faultless in my eyes, are not his most endearing qualities. It’s his beautiful, gentle heart, and how he loves with his entire being. I’ve been in enough relationships in my time to recognise how truly special he is.

  His lips move down to my jaw, raining kisses along my skin as he goes. “I need to be inside you, Princess.”

  I need that too.

  We were interrupted by his sister the last time we were together, and there’s been nobody else since. I was so messed up in that moment, I never really got to appreciate what we were doing, but I won’t take this time for granted … I’ll cherish every second of my time with him, however long it lasts.

  He reaches for the buckle on his belt, quickly freeing himself. “I’m going to fuck you hard and fast against this wall, and then I’m going to take you to bed and worship every inch of this luscious body.” When he’s ready, his hands slide around, grasping the back of my legs, as he effortlessly lifts me off my feet. “Wrap your legs around me, Cass.”

  I could probably count on two hands how many times we’ve had sex. When we were younger, time together was always limited, given the fact that our relationship was a secret and he was already away at university by the time things got serious.

  Our alone time was spent in his car, at our special spot, or on a few occasions in my room when my parents weren’t home. He was always so sweet and gentle with me. Don’t get me wrong, he was an attentive and selfless lover, even back then, but this … what we’re doing now, is off-the-charts hot. We have a lot of lost time to make up for, and this grown-up version of Connor Maloney is most certainly going to be my undoing.

  He slides my underwear to the side and runs the head of his dick back and forth through my arousal. I’m ripe and ready for this man, so when he impales me in one swift motion, the euphoria overrides any pain. He’s so big … so hard and all man. Every delicious inch. I love it … I love him.

 

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