Savage bite den of shado.., p.30
Savage Bite (Den of Shadows Book 1), page 30
“Friends of yours?” I asked through our mental link.
“They helped infiltrate Karn’s to drop the magical bombs.”
The high demon hooked his thumb over his shoulder. “Let’s get back to Savannah then.”
Fane shook his head. “Sentries will be all over the door tonight, searching for the two of us. We can’t risk it, Perry.”
Perry, the high demon, crossed his arms, crinkling his Iron Maiden t-shirt. Piercings ran along one ear, and a hoop with a silver ball hung from his septum. “That wasn’t the plan. We were supposed to get you in to find her and then take you both back to Savannah.”
“Plans change. I wasn’t expecting to kill Karn, but he had her pinned to a wall and wasn’t going to let her go.”
Perry’s face blanched, and the dux demons stopped scanning the street, giving Fane their attention.
“Shit. You killed the fucker?” Perry dragged his hand through his locks, pulling on the roots. “I was not anticipating that.”
The dux demon on the left grinned, making his blue eyes glow. “Ruin won’t mind that Karn’s dead.”
Perry rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck as if he was loosening up for a fight. “This doesn’t change things. You can’t stay here. Karn’s allies will be pissed when they find out.”
“I know.” Fane stepped back until his body became flush with mine. “We’ll lay low tonight at Logan’s and head back to Savannah tomorrow. Trust me. I don’t want to be here any longer than necessary.”
The high demon nodded and then tilted his head to peek at me beyond Fane. “It’s nice meeting you, Tatum. I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Uh, thanks.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Maverick.” Perry jerked his head for the dux demons to follow him.
Once they disappeared, I turned to Fane. “Who were they?”
He shrugged and grabbed my hand, towing me through the gathering bystanders who came to see the destruction unfold at the demon lord’s place. None of them paid us any attention as their gazes remained transfixed on the mansion that had now caught fire, flames leaping into the pitch-black sky. “Just some demons who are good at destruction. That’s all.” He cleared his throat. “Let’s hope we can find a bike.”
Fane used a key hidden behind a loose brick to let us into Logan’s one-story stone house on the edge of Vlehull, tucked at the end of a street and bordered by a patch of forest. Not many knew the high demon owned this spot, so the chances of Karn’s minions finding us tonight were slim. But not impossible.
“Stay here while I do a quick sweep of the place.” Fane cut on a tall lamp in the corner to spill dim light over the cozy living room. “Maybe you should sit down.”
I absentmindedly nodded, and his presence faded. We’d stolen a bike outside a seedy bar, but it still took thirty minutes to reach Logan’s. Aches pulsated everywhere, and dizziness tried to drown me more than once. If Fane hadn’t shouted in my mind a couple times, I would have passed out and fallen off the back of the bike.
Luckily, most of Karn’s underlings and guards had gone the opposite direction toward the gate to Savannah like Fane predicted. Once we made it a few blocks from the mansion, the chaos receded, and the streets emptied.
I swayed and grabbed onto the wall, so I didn’t crack my head open on the glossy hardwoods. As my vision cleared, the dried, flaking blood covering my hand caught my attention.
Human blood.
Images of the past few hours assaulted me, coming fast and angry like visions from hell. The torture Karn inflicted—forcing me to relive some of my worst moments as he feasted on my soul—mingled with my fight to the death between Arisa and Oliver.
Arisa’s raven curls were too similar to Jayla’s, and I cringed at the memory of her tiny frame sprawled on the ground, the demon stealing her life.
My lids fluttered, and that warehouse emerged around me, but I was the monster leaning over Jayla. Claws tore from my fingers, and my teeth grew into fangs. Bloodlust ravaged my senses, and my eyes, reflected in her terrified ones, glowed as the pupils elongated to slits like they had when I tormented that demon.
Tears ran down Jayla’s cheeks. “Please don’t hurt me, Tate. I’ll be good. I promise.”
A growl slithered up my throat, and I grinned, wickedness flowing through my veins. I had murdered her that night. Not the demon.
Her death was my fault. Her blood stained my hands.
The waking nightmare shattered, and I stumbled away from the wall, crashing into a table and knocking over a metal vase. I regained my balance, my lungs struggling for air as if my windpipe had transformed into a slender straw.
My head slowly lifted, and I met my reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall. Ice wrapped me in its unwelcoming embrace, and frost crystallized around my heart, freezing my veins. The thing staring back was a monster that had crawled out of the depths of hell after murdering the innocent.
Dried blood caked my hair, turning the ends burgundy, and more covered my skin. Some of the scarlet coating had flaked off, but most remained crusted in a thick layer over me. My clothes had become stiff from all the blood.
Some of it was mine.
Most of it was not.
Invisible chains coiled around my lungs, and the living room spun as queasiness flooded my system. Darkness crept around the edges of my vision. I needed to get this off. I needed it to be gone. Their life had drained out all over me as I killed them.
I raked my nails over my arms, trying to peel the layers of blood off, but it only opened the healing slashes from Arisa’s knife attack. The stains remained as I scratched my chest and neck.
“Teague! Stop.” Fane snatched my hands before I could do any more damage.
I fought his hold. “I have to get it off.”
“Then take a shower.”
“I killed them. I killed them.” My voice cracked, and it felt like someone had used a crowbar to pry my ribs apart. “They’re all over me. I killed them. Humans.”
“I know.” Fane released my hands and roughly gripped my cheeks, forcing me to meet his stare. “I know it’s human blood. I saw the bodies before I killed Karn.”
My bottom lip trembled. “They made me believe they had Hawk and were going to kill him, slit his throat right in front of me, but it was a fae with a glamour I couldn’t see beyond. He was just a stupid fae, and I killed them for nothing.”
Fane lowered his face toward mine. “Karn wouldn’t let those humans live one way or another. They were already dead before you fought them.”
I squeezed my lids closed and tried to breathe through the talons ripping at my insides. Words stuck in my mouth, but honestly, I had nothing to say. The feel of their warm, sticky blood washing over me as their life faded consumed my thoughts.
Why was Hawk’s life or mine more important than theirs? I was a raven. I was supposed to sacrifice myself for the innocent, and the one time I was given a choice, I saved Hawk and myself. Except Hawk had never been in danger.
“Come on.” Fane rested his hand on my lower back and directed me into the hall. Instead of going to the room I used before, he steered me into another where his scent lingered. He clicked on a lamp and then drew me into the bathroom, using the dimmer switch to lower the light.
My boots squeaked on the gray tiles as I halted in front of the white countertop. As my gaze lifted to the mirror above the sink, Fane used his hand to block my reflection.
“Don’t look.” He gently lowered me onto the closed toilet lid, opened the glass door to the shower, and cut on the water. Steam quickly filled the room.
I reached for my left boot, sucking air as a sharp pain ripped through my side where Oliver stabbed me. Fane kneeled on the ground and removed my shoes. His face strained, and some of the pain ravaging me melted away.
“Don’t do that,” I muttered.
He arched one eyebrow. “Do what?”
Somehow, Fane was taking my pain. He’d also done it when Dirgos tried to connect with the Infernal Sol. Maybe it was just a special gift he had, but more likely, it stemmed from the link between us.
“I need it right now.” The physical pain helped dull the emotional agony trying to shatter me into a million pieces.
He didn’t say anything or acknowledge his ability as he stood and shucked his shirt.
“What are you doing?” Even with dirt smudging his cheeks and collecting in his hair from the explosions that rocked Karn’s, Fane was still one of the most beautiful creatures I’d ever seen.
Deadliest too. He proved that when he easily ripped the demon lord to shreds.
“I’m taking a shower.” He pressed a hand on the counter and leaned over me. “Do you really think I’m going to leave you in there alone when you just tried to claw your own flesh off?”
My lips thinned as memories of the last time we took a shower together simmered forward.
Fane’s fingers rested under my chin to lift my face, his barely more than an inch away. “That was different,” he said, sensing where my mind had gone. “We’re just going to get clean.” He tilted forward, his lips almost brushing mine as he gripped the edge of my shirt and slowly drew it over my head.
My teeth clenched as agony whipped through my upper body. When I looked down, my throat convulsed. Their blood had soaked through my clothes and stained my torso. I shut my lids as I tried to breathe through the coppery scent choking the air.
Fane finished undressing me as I kept my eyes closed to avoid the gruesome sight, and a few moments later, the hot spray hit my chilled skin.
A gasp blew from my mouth, and I jerked out of the water, cursing.
“Too hot?” He reached over to fiddle with the temperature, but I grabbed his hand.
“It’s fine. I’m just cold.” Ice sank all the way to my bones.
He still used the brushed metal lever to lower the heat a tiny bit and then pulled me under the spray again. My teeth gritted as the water hit the cuts on my arms, the stab on my side, and the one in my leg. A barely contained roar ricocheted against the shower walls, and I lifted my head as Fane scrutinized my injuries now that they were more visible as the blood washed away.
Tension wove through his scarred, tattooed physique until every muscle popped and strained. His nostrils flared, and I resisted the urge to cover myself while he continued his examination. We were bared before each other, but there was nothing sexual in this. My injuries preoccupied him, and unlike the other night in the shower, I wasn’t starving for a release.
Maybe I was starving for something else.
His attention rested on the center of my chest where an oddly shaped bruise formed around a shallow cut. “What happened here?”
I choked back the bile oozing up my esophagus. “Karn used a magical stone to find information on the Infernal Sol while he sucked my soul, but I distracted him with other memories.”
“A black Verity stone.” Fane’s jaw twitched. “You showed him what’s in your nightmares.”
My voice wouldn’t come so I nodded.
Fane’s thumb gently swiped over the bruise, his touch so soft compared to the fury building on his face, cutting harsh lines into it. “Turn around.”
Without arguing, I turned my back on him, keeping my head up to avoid the pink water swirling down the drain. A bottle clicked, and the hint of honey and warm spices perfumed the shower. And then Fane Maverick rubbed his fingers along my scalp as he lathered shampoo in my hair.
The concept of him washing my hair was so unexpected I almost laughed, but my lip trembled instead. Not many had showed me a lot of genuine kindness over the years. Fane didn’t like me. I’d killed his brother and stopped him from getting the Infernal Sol. He had to bite me to save my life. He had to be close to me, share a mental link with me, and break me out of Karn’s hold.
Fane needed to keep me alive to recover the demon amulet—for whatever mysterious reasons he had—but he didn’t have to be kind. He didn’t have to keep me from falling apart. He didn’t need to stay in the shower to watch over me or wash the blood from my hair.
My breath hitched as tears poured down my cheeks, mixing with the water. The hell I’d been through in the Underworld crashed over me, mingling with the memories Karn’s stone dredged up. Anguish tightened around my heart until it wanted to crack and dissolve into dust. Or maybe the pressure would turn it into a diamond, too hard for anything to penetrate.
Fane quietly spread conditioner through my hair as a few sobs I couldn’t contain leaked out. His body heat warmed my bones more than the hot water. After he rinsed the conditioner, he grabbed a loofa, coated it in soap, and carefully smoothed it over my back, legs, and arms. Now he’d seen all of my scars. If he’d seen enough of my nightmares, he’d know what had caused each blemish.
But did he know I’d also inflicted my own pain onto others? Had he witnessed me brutally robbing Griffin of his life during that fight? Would he treat me with such kindness if he knew just how fucked up I really was?
His brother wasn’t the first to provoke the violence lurking inside of me.
“I killed a human before those two at Karn’s.” Even though my voice was barely more than a whisper, Fane heard it, and the loofa paused between my shoulder blades. I needed him to know so he could decide if I was worth his compassion. “I’d just turned sixteen and beat a guy to death.” My head lowered into my hands, and I breathed through the pain consuming me.
The loofa moved again before Fane spoke. “Did he attack you?”
A strangled laugh slipped out. “We were just two opponents in an illegal fight. I figured getting busted up in the ring for money was better than selling myself and having some disgusting john do it. I was really good. That’s why Remy paired me with Griffin that day. I’d already beat all the females on the roster.”
Fane gripped my shoulder and gently spun me toward him. His expression remained blank except for the nearly invisible line between his brows. “What happened?”
“He said something about this kid I’d been looking after. A girl.” My fingers curled into fists so tight they trembled. “He threatened to…” I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have snapped.”
The crunch of Griffin’s bones echoed in my ears, colliding with his screams. A bitter aftertaste spilled over my tongue. “He begged me to stop, but I was so angry that he would consider doing that to her. I had to keep him from hurting her any way I could.”
Hot and cold descended over me, and my knees shook as the memories of that day flooded in. So much blood, just like now.
Death followed me. Or maybe I was just his harbinger.
“I’m a monster, Fane.” The words came out stilted and choked through my sobs. “And I’m being punished for the deaths I’ve caused and the ones I couldn’t prevent.”
Fane tossed the loofa back on the shelf, soap suds running down the wall, and he gripped my face. “We’re all monsters, Tate. The only thing that matters is why you became one.” His hands lowered to the circular scars spotting my ribs. “Surviving and protecting others doesn’t make you like the beasts that gave you these. It doesn’t make you like the supernatural monsters you’ve fought since joining the ravens either.”
“I still deserve to be punished.”
A low growl rippled through Fane as he shook his head, his mouth opening to argue. But he knew nothing he said would shatter my belief, so he pulled me into him and let me fall apart in the safety of his embrace. The floodgates opened, and sobs poured out, my tears blending with the water running over us. His hold tightened as I trembled, and I buried my face against his scarred chest, trying to shut out the rest of the world and all the nightmares scraping against my mind.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
I had no idea how much time had passed when Fane finally shut off the spray and pulled me out of the shower. He wrapped me in a soft towel, rubbing my arms as if he knew how cold I was on the inside.
Would I ever be warm again?
The same pain I tried to bury reflected in his eyes, and the claw marks and scars around his heart and running across his chest seemed more prominent. His life had been as lonely and agonizing as my own. We were two creatures from opposite worlds, but we shared much more than I thought possible.
Fane twisted a towel around his waist, water dripping from his wet hair onto his shoulders. “I’ll be right back.”
I remained in the same spot, staring at the gray tiles as he fumbled around in the bedroom and returned with a t-shirt and a pair of women’s underwear.
“Where did you…?” I waved my own question away. At this point, I was just thankful to have clean panties.
Fane helped me into the soft cotton t-shirt that smelled like him, and I handled the underwear on my own as he slipped on a pair of sweatpants. Neither of us spoke while he bandaged some of my more severe injuries with gauze. They’d heal, but I’d rather not bleed all over the place.
“Thanks,” I muttered as we left the bathroom.
He pulled down the green and black covers on the bed. “Get some sleep, Tate,” he whispered, his voice a rough caress in the shadows.
He’d said my first name twice tonight.
Before I could stop myself, my fingers wrapped around his wrist. “Stay with me.”
He opened his mouth to refuse, but as he studied me, the thick walls around him faltered.
“Just this once, Fane. I don’t want to be alone.”
His resistance crumbled to ash, and he strode to the other side of the bed, crawling in next to me. His warmth spread over me as I stretched out, and I dared to scoot closer, pushing the boundaries even more. Instead of resisting, Fane’s arm wrapped around my side, and he dragged me the rest of the way into his body, curling around my back like a protective barrier against the horrors that still gripped me.
When I woke up in the darkened room, fear didn’t claw my insides like it usually did in unfamiliar settings. That probably had something to do with Fane’s scent and presence permeating the room. He wasn’t in the bed, but he hadn’t gone far.
