The fallen, p.12
The Fallen, page 12
part #1 of Heroes of Gylinnar Series
To Alexian it seemed… familiar.
More shouts, of both pain and terror, followed the light, which faded, and made the shadowy form of the creature disappear into the fog again.
Immediately, Salina, Veillia, Garoth, and all the rest uttered various curses, and started backing up.
“What kind of devil spawn is that?” Samuel asked in a whisper, trembling.
“It’s like nothing I’ve ever heard of,” Said Salina.
Alexian could hear the rising panic in her voice.
Soldiers had stopped running to try to aid those shouting, and all were now fleeing blindly in different directions from the creature lurking in the fog.
“What should we do?” asked Veillia, who was still standing firm, despite the terror they all felt. “Stand or retreat?”
Just then, there was the thumping of large wings beating, and a wave of air hit them. The wave sent currents spinning through the fog, momentarily making it easier to see through.
The form of the large creature could be seen faintly, no longer on the ground but instead flying through the air.
Almost too late Alexian realized the direction it was going. “Move!” he shouted.
They all dashed a different direction, barely avoiding the creature as it impacted with the ground. But just the force of its landing was enough to knock them all over. Only a quick spell from Garoth had kept him from falling to the ground as well.
Alexian jumped to his feet as fast as possible, and turned to see the creature.
Standing on its four powerful legs, in the spot they had just been standing; twice the height of the command tent; covered in black scales; with spikes all down its long neck, its spine, and its tail; curved, sharp horns protruding back from its long, angular head; with large, snarling jaws full of pointed teeth; and razors on the end of its giant wings; was a dragon.
The dragon turned it’s head to scan the humans around it. It’s eyes were slitted like a cat’s and full of malice. It stopped abruptly when they landed on Alexian.
Why does the universe hate me?
The dragon took a step toward Alexian, and swiftly lowered its head to within an arm’s reach of his face.
Alexian was paralyzed. He was sure he was about to die, but instead of attacking, the dragon did the last thing Alexian expected it to do. It said, “An Aleysian? I did not sense your presence.”
It’s voice was just as deep and powerful as it’s roar had been, and Alexian was frozen with both shock and dread at hearing it. He had no Idea what he should do.
“What is your name Aleysian?” it asked.
“I— I am Alex,” He replied weakly, then, after regaining more of his wits, added, “—ian. I am Alex—ian.”
“And why have you come here to these mountains with this army?”
Alexian had no idea why the dragon was asking him questions, but he thought it was better than it attacking him. He had a feeling that his crossbow bolts wouldn’t do anything to the dragon’s nearly seamless, unblemished scales, so all he could think to do was continue answering its questions.
“I— we are just passing through this side of the mountains to reach Fenric’s mines further north,” he answered, doing his best to control his fear.
The dragon’s great yellow eyes glared down at him, as if trying to determine if he was telling the truth.
Alexian couldn’t take his eyes off of the dragon head mere feet in front of him, but out of the corner of his eyes he could see Salina and the others staring at him and the dragon, frozen with looks of amazement, still in the places they had been sent from the force of the dragon’s landing.
“None have entered these mountains and returned. Why would you attempt to pass through here to reach your destination?” the dragon finally asked.
“We did not choose to,” said Alexian, “We were forced in here by Fenric’s army.”
“Who is this ‘Fenric?’” it asked.
Alex couldn’t decipher the expression the dragon asked the question with. It may have been curiosity, or anger, or it may not have really cared at all. But Alexian was sure that if they were going to survive, he had to convince the dragon to let them.
“He is a dark magician who has conquered almost all of Illia,” started Alexian. “These mountains are one of two places he has not conquered yet. But rumor says he has been gaining in dark power daily, and soon he will invade here too. This army is the last chance of stopping him.”
The dragon seemed to contemplate Alexian’s words. For a moment it raised its head, and looked off into the fog, as if looking at something only it could see. Then it turned back to Alexian, lowered its head even closer to him than before, close enough to bite him in half, and said very coldly and quietly, “My kind were created by Mellina over one thousand years ago to protect the kingdom she made in these mountains. She no longer trusts any person not to try to use her own or other Aleysian’s power for themselves. She made a kingdom where Aleysian’s can live in secret, and be able to live free from other humans’ fear and abuse. For this reason, no person has ever been allowed to leave these mountains. Not even other Aleysians.”
Alexian didn’t dare move as the dragon took in a deep and deliberate breath before continuing.
“Speak truthfully, and I will know if you are lying. Is this Fenric truly a danger to Mellina’s kingdom?”
Alexian thought about everything he had seen and heard about Fenric and his power. “Yes,” he answered.
“And if you leave these mountains, will you destroy him?”
“Yes.”
“Do you swear it?”
Again, the words of the prophecy came into Alexian’s mind:
‘Born on the back of a hero sworn.’
Can I really make this promise? If I do, I’ll be completely resigning myself to fulfilling the prophecy.
Alexian didn’t need to consider the question for long.
“Yes.”
After hearing Alexian’s answer, the dragon pulled back it’s head, and rumbled, “Very well. I and the other guardians will allow you to leave these mountains, but if you do not hold to the promise you have made, we will hunt you and every member of this army down.” Then the dragon raised its powerful wings, pushed them down to the ground, and took off into the fog, blasting Alexian with a gust of wind that knocked him back on the ground, and disturbing the dense fog around him. It’s wingbeats could only be heard for a few seconds as it flew away to the east, then it was gone.
Once the sound of the wings was no longer audible, Alexian released the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.
Did I actually do it? Is it really gone?
Almost unable to believe what had just happened, he shakily got back to his feet, and looked around at the others, those who had fallen also getting back to their feet. All of them were staring at Alexian with more than just amazement. None of them looked relieved like him.
Salina and Garoth eventually walked up to Alexian, and Salina said, “Alexian… Wh-what did you just… do?”
There was a hint of dread in her voice that Alexian didn’t understand. “What do you mean?”
Garoth said in a voice filled with awe, “That thing, were you talking to it?”
Alexian was confused by the question. “Yes. I was. I wasn’t expecting it either, but you could hear it couldn’t you?”
“We heard you saying something,” said Salina. “But I’ve definitely never heard any language like that.”
“I have,” said Garoth. “Those were words of power, the same ones used to cast spells! But, for them to be used in a conversation…. It’s unheard of. I didn’t even know it was possible!” The size of his amazement causing him to lose his practiced precision with words.
“But they were just normal words,” insisted Alexian. “What made them words of power?”
“Normal words? I didn’t understand a single thing you or that monster said! I only recognized a few as words of power. I had no idea the words had actual meaning beyond the spells they cast! The implications it has for all of magic… and Aleysians...”
Alexian could see that Garoth was rapidly growing excited by the conversation. He had a massive grin on his face, and threw his arms around with increasing fever with each sentence.
Salina noticed it too. She quickly interrupted Garoth, and said, “We can discuss this later. Alexian, what did you say to that thing? What was it saying? Do we need to be worried?”
“I convinced it to let us pass through the mountains. Apparently dragons are what kill anyone who enters these mountains.”
Garoth asked, “Dragons? Do you mean that monster that you spoke too?”
“Of course. You could see it right? Long neck, scales, and wings?” asked Alexian. By this point he wouldn’t be surprised if there had been some kind of magical disguise around the dragon that only he could see through as an Aleysian.
“That’s what I saw,” said Garoth, slipping from his practiced, deliberately concise word use. “But I’ve never even heard of anything like that before.”
“Neither have I,” said Salina in a voice that conveyed her terror, and the others, who had silently approached the conversation, shook their heads in agreement with Salina.
Alexian was as taken back by this as he had been to hear the dragon speak.
How could they not know what a dragon is?
Then another thought occurred to him.
Why is that so surprising? It makes sense that if nobody ever left these mountains alive, nobody would have returned to tell others about dragons. But I knew about them, and I was surprised when they didn’t.
Salina asked, “What did you say to convince that, dragon, to let us pass?”
The dragon had said that the first Aleysian, Mellina, had made them.
“Alexian?” asked Salina.
Does that mean dragons are in Aleysia? Is that why only I recognized it, and was so surprised when they didn’t?
“Alexian!”
Alexian was pulled out of his thoughts by Salina’s shout.
“What? What did you ask?” Alexian felt light headed as he turned back to face the others.
“What did you—,” Salina cut herself off. “Alexian, are you ok?”
“I—,” was all Alexian could manage. He was feeling weaker every moment.
“Oh no,” said Garoth. “The words of power! They didn’t cast any spells but using them may still have drained his energy!”
“What!?” Said Salina. “How many did he say?”
“Too many,” replied Garoth, looking grim. Then he turned, and ran off into the fog.
By this point, Alexian no longer had the energy to stay standing, and fell backwards. He didn’t have the strength to stop himself, and hit the ground with a hard thump. His eyesight was dimming. All the sounds around him were growing feinter.
Alexian could just make out the form of Salina and Jorund appear above him.
With a distant and muffled voice, Salina shouted,”Alexian! Stay with us! Don’t you dare go to sleep!” Then Alexian was gone.
Chapter 15
A Glimpse
…
Alexian felt weak. Too weak to move. Too weak to think.
Even his senses were dulled by his lack of energy. He could faintly hear a thumping, pounding sound: marching; as well as the creaking and groaning of wooden wheels turning. He could feel himself laying on top of something that bounced and bumped him up and down ever so slightly.
But then it was all fading away. It was as if all those sensations were leaving, sinking under a river while he remained at the shore.
Suddenly there were new sensations. He was still laying down, but the bouncing and jostling was gone. The sounds of the wheels and marching were replaced by a soft, quiet hum, as well as a single note of a song, repeating endlessly, over and over every couple seconds.
Something felt different about these new sensations. It felt as if, instead of his previous sensations sinking, it was him who had been rising, and now he was at the surface, where the current sensations were no longer blocked by the water, and his old ones were drifting away.
Alexian wanted to stay where he was. Some instinctual part of him was latching on to the current sensations, and didn’t want to let go. He felt a welcoming familiarity here, like coming home after a long time away.
He opened his eyes as much as he could with how weary he was. Light was fracturing in front of his eyes, distorting everything in sight. He saw glimpses of something beside him, standing slim and tall over him, like a protective sentinel. The fractured light was coming from the metal body of the sentinel, reflecting from some invisible source.
Alexian wanted to reach for it, but his body didn’t respond to his thoughts. He felt like his mind was between two worlds. For a moment, he desperately wanted to go fully into the world he was seeing now, the homely feeling drawing at him, but he held himself back. He didn’t know how he knew, but he knew that if he did go into this world, he would be leaving the world of Illia, Annaliese, and the Resistance behind forever.
Part of him wanted to do it anyway. A voice in the back of his mind argued that this was his chance to leave all the problems of Illia behind forever. He wouldn’t need to face Fenric, he wouldn’t need to kill, he wouldn’t have to worry about disappearing.
But Alexian couldn’t possibly do that. Annaliese needed him, Donovan needed him, Salina needed him, the whole world needed him. He would be a monster as bad as Fenric if he decided to abandon them all at his first chance.
He began pushing to go back down to his senses in Illia. In the same unknowing way he knew before, he knew making this choice would be costly. To go back after surfacing this far, he would need to leave part of himself behind here, to let go of the part that was pulling him here, a part of himself he would never have back if he did. But he couldn’t abandon everyone, especially not Annaliese, so he let the piece go, and felt himself begin sinking back to his other senses, leaving the world from his memories behind. His eyes shut once again, and he sank back down.
In his weakened state of mind, Alexian quickly forgot what he had seen. All he was left with was a lingering feeling of what the other world had felt like, and a desire for that feeling he had, yet didn’t know. As if waking from a pleasant dream.
Chapter 16
Broken
How long have I been asleep?
Alexian woke sometime in the middle of the day. When he looked to his side, he found himself lying in the back of a medical wagon, like the one that he had seen carrying soldiers who had been badly injured in Fenric’s attack. There was still fog in the air, making it impossible to know the exact time, but it was lighter than it had been before. He could both feel and hear the wagon moving beneath him, along with the sounds of other soldiers marching.
He tried sitting up, but a sudden lightheadedness made him fall back down on his back with a groan.
He laid there for some time. While waiting, he tried to remember what had happened before he passed out. He could remember the unbelievable and terrifying conversation he’d had with the dragon, but after that his memory got fuzzy. He remembered Garoth and Salina asking him questions about the conversation, and he remembered how he had apparently been using ‘words of power,’ but he still didn’t understand what that meant. He’d just been talking normally.
The marching continued for another few hours. Alexian figured he was better off lying on the cart than trying to get up again just to join the march.
As he lied on his back, looking up at the white expanse of roiling fog filling the sky, old worries resurfaced in his thoughts.
He still knew nothing of what his life had been before he fell from Aleysia. He might have had a family, he might have been in love, he might have had a whole life free of the life and death concerns he had now. But as these thoughts returned to him, they didn’t seem as worrying as they had before. The words of Annaliese came back to him:
“You can make new memories.”
He spent the rest of the ride smiling in remembrance of Annaliese’s unfailing optimism and the encouragements she gave him.
Eventually, he heard someone call for a halt. Both the marching and the wagon stopped in obedience.
Now that he’d stopped moving, Alexian risked sitting up again. He did it slowly, and was rewarded with a light headache afterward, but he successfully sat up. Next he tried to stand up, and get out of the wagon. It was much more difficult because of the pain in the center of his head, but he managed to do that too.
Why isn’t the amulet curing my headache?
He looked down his shirt to make sure it was still there. It was, but to his surprise, the amulet was glowing as if already healing him. Despite this, his headache still prevailed.
Is it just taking a long time to cure it? How long has it been trying to heal me?
Even as he thought this, the glow died, and his headache was blissfully gone.
Now standing outside the stationary wagon, he could take a look at his surroundings. The fog was much lighter here; he could make out groups of soldiers breaking formation, and starting to set up camp around him.
A man came around from the front of the wagon, and jumped when he saw Alexian. “Oh! You are awake!” he said. Then he turned, and gave hurried orders to a nearby soldier.
The soldier nodded, and ran off into the fog. The man, who Alexian now recognized as a healer, the same one who’d been with Salina both other times he saw him, came up to Alexian, and began pushing him back toward the wagon, saying, “You need to lie back down. Salina will be here soon but you need to rest in the meantime.”
Not having an alternative, Alexian complied with the healer, and got back inside of the wagon. However, he didn’t rest. He’d spent the last few hours resting in the back of the wagon waiting for the march to end. Instead, he sat with his legs hanging off the back, and took the time to think about how he felt about everything, as he so often had to do. Ever since waking up, he’d felt different. He didn’t know why he felt different or how exactly he was different, but something had changed, and he could feel it. It was as if there had always been a constant noise in the back of his head, but now the noise was gone, and he’d been unaware that it had even existed until it was gone. What the absence of the noise meant, and whether he should be happy or worried for its disappearance, he didn’t know.
More shouts, of both pain and terror, followed the light, which faded, and made the shadowy form of the creature disappear into the fog again.
Immediately, Salina, Veillia, Garoth, and all the rest uttered various curses, and started backing up.
“What kind of devil spawn is that?” Samuel asked in a whisper, trembling.
“It’s like nothing I’ve ever heard of,” Said Salina.
Alexian could hear the rising panic in her voice.
Soldiers had stopped running to try to aid those shouting, and all were now fleeing blindly in different directions from the creature lurking in the fog.
“What should we do?” asked Veillia, who was still standing firm, despite the terror they all felt. “Stand or retreat?”
Just then, there was the thumping of large wings beating, and a wave of air hit them. The wave sent currents spinning through the fog, momentarily making it easier to see through.
The form of the large creature could be seen faintly, no longer on the ground but instead flying through the air.
Almost too late Alexian realized the direction it was going. “Move!” he shouted.
They all dashed a different direction, barely avoiding the creature as it impacted with the ground. But just the force of its landing was enough to knock them all over. Only a quick spell from Garoth had kept him from falling to the ground as well.
Alexian jumped to his feet as fast as possible, and turned to see the creature.
Standing on its four powerful legs, in the spot they had just been standing; twice the height of the command tent; covered in black scales; with spikes all down its long neck, its spine, and its tail; curved, sharp horns protruding back from its long, angular head; with large, snarling jaws full of pointed teeth; and razors on the end of its giant wings; was a dragon.
The dragon turned it’s head to scan the humans around it. It’s eyes were slitted like a cat’s and full of malice. It stopped abruptly when they landed on Alexian.
Why does the universe hate me?
The dragon took a step toward Alexian, and swiftly lowered its head to within an arm’s reach of his face.
Alexian was paralyzed. He was sure he was about to die, but instead of attacking, the dragon did the last thing Alexian expected it to do. It said, “An Aleysian? I did not sense your presence.”
It’s voice was just as deep and powerful as it’s roar had been, and Alexian was frozen with both shock and dread at hearing it. He had no Idea what he should do.
“What is your name Aleysian?” it asked.
“I— I am Alex,” He replied weakly, then, after regaining more of his wits, added, “—ian. I am Alex—ian.”
“And why have you come here to these mountains with this army?”
Alexian had no idea why the dragon was asking him questions, but he thought it was better than it attacking him. He had a feeling that his crossbow bolts wouldn’t do anything to the dragon’s nearly seamless, unblemished scales, so all he could think to do was continue answering its questions.
“I— we are just passing through this side of the mountains to reach Fenric’s mines further north,” he answered, doing his best to control his fear.
The dragon’s great yellow eyes glared down at him, as if trying to determine if he was telling the truth.
Alexian couldn’t take his eyes off of the dragon head mere feet in front of him, but out of the corner of his eyes he could see Salina and the others staring at him and the dragon, frozen with looks of amazement, still in the places they had been sent from the force of the dragon’s landing.
“None have entered these mountains and returned. Why would you attempt to pass through here to reach your destination?” the dragon finally asked.
“We did not choose to,” said Alexian, “We were forced in here by Fenric’s army.”
“Who is this ‘Fenric?’” it asked.
Alex couldn’t decipher the expression the dragon asked the question with. It may have been curiosity, or anger, or it may not have really cared at all. But Alexian was sure that if they were going to survive, he had to convince the dragon to let them.
“He is a dark magician who has conquered almost all of Illia,” started Alexian. “These mountains are one of two places he has not conquered yet. But rumor says he has been gaining in dark power daily, and soon he will invade here too. This army is the last chance of stopping him.”
The dragon seemed to contemplate Alexian’s words. For a moment it raised its head, and looked off into the fog, as if looking at something only it could see. Then it turned back to Alexian, lowered its head even closer to him than before, close enough to bite him in half, and said very coldly and quietly, “My kind were created by Mellina over one thousand years ago to protect the kingdom she made in these mountains. She no longer trusts any person not to try to use her own or other Aleysian’s power for themselves. She made a kingdom where Aleysian’s can live in secret, and be able to live free from other humans’ fear and abuse. For this reason, no person has ever been allowed to leave these mountains. Not even other Aleysians.”
Alexian didn’t dare move as the dragon took in a deep and deliberate breath before continuing.
“Speak truthfully, and I will know if you are lying. Is this Fenric truly a danger to Mellina’s kingdom?”
Alexian thought about everything he had seen and heard about Fenric and his power. “Yes,” he answered.
“And if you leave these mountains, will you destroy him?”
“Yes.”
“Do you swear it?”
Again, the words of the prophecy came into Alexian’s mind:
‘Born on the back of a hero sworn.’
Can I really make this promise? If I do, I’ll be completely resigning myself to fulfilling the prophecy.
Alexian didn’t need to consider the question for long.
“Yes.”
After hearing Alexian’s answer, the dragon pulled back it’s head, and rumbled, “Very well. I and the other guardians will allow you to leave these mountains, but if you do not hold to the promise you have made, we will hunt you and every member of this army down.” Then the dragon raised its powerful wings, pushed them down to the ground, and took off into the fog, blasting Alexian with a gust of wind that knocked him back on the ground, and disturbing the dense fog around him. It’s wingbeats could only be heard for a few seconds as it flew away to the east, then it was gone.
Once the sound of the wings was no longer audible, Alexian released the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.
Did I actually do it? Is it really gone?
Almost unable to believe what had just happened, he shakily got back to his feet, and looked around at the others, those who had fallen also getting back to their feet. All of them were staring at Alexian with more than just amazement. None of them looked relieved like him.
Salina and Garoth eventually walked up to Alexian, and Salina said, “Alexian… Wh-what did you just… do?”
There was a hint of dread in her voice that Alexian didn’t understand. “What do you mean?”
Garoth said in a voice filled with awe, “That thing, were you talking to it?”
Alexian was confused by the question. “Yes. I was. I wasn’t expecting it either, but you could hear it couldn’t you?”
“We heard you saying something,” said Salina. “But I’ve definitely never heard any language like that.”
“I have,” said Garoth. “Those were words of power, the same ones used to cast spells! But, for them to be used in a conversation…. It’s unheard of. I didn’t even know it was possible!” The size of his amazement causing him to lose his practiced precision with words.
“But they were just normal words,” insisted Alexian. “What made them words of power?”
“Normal words? I didn’t understand a single thing you or that monster said! I only recognized a few as words of power. I had no idea the words had actual meaning beyond the spells they cast! The implications it has for all of magic… and Aleysians...”
Alexian could see that Garoth was rapidly growing excited by the conversation. He had a massive grin on his face, and threw his arms around with increasing fever with each sentence.
Salina noticed it too. She quickly interrupted Garoth, and said, “We can discuss this later. Alexian, what did you say to that thing? What was it saying? Do we need to be worried?”
“I convinced it to let us pass through the mountains. Apparently dragons are what kill anyone who enters these mountains.”
Garoth asked, “Dragons? Do you mean that monster that you spoke too?”
“Of course. You could see it right? Long neck, scales, and wings?” asked Alexian. By this point he wouldn’t be surprised if there had been some kind of magical disguise around the dragon that only he could see through as an Aleysian.
“That’s what I saw,” said Garoth, slipping from his practiced, deliberately concise word use. “But I’ve never even heard of anything like that before.”
“Neither have I,” said Salina in a voice that conveyed her terror, and the others, who had silently approached the conversation, shook their heads in agreement with Salina.
Alexian was as taken back by this as he had been to hear the dragon speak.
How could they not know what a dragon is?
Then another thought occurred to him.
Why is that so surprising? It makes sense that if nobody ever left these mountains alive, nobody would have returned to tell others about dragons. But I knew about them, and I was surprised when they didn’t.
Salina asked, “What did you say to convince that, dragon, to let us pass?”
The dragon had said that the first Aleysian, Mellina, had made them.
“Alexian?” asked Salina.
Does that mean dragons are in Aleysia? Is that why only I recognized it, and was so surprised when they didn’t?
“Alexian!”
Alexian was pulled out of his thoughts by Salina’s shout.
“What? What did you ask?” Alexian felt light headed as he turned back to face the others.
“What did you—,” Salina cut herself off. “Alexian, are you ok?”
“I—,” was all Alexian could manage. He was feeling weaker every moment.
“Oh no,” said Garoth. “The words of power! They didn’t cast any spells but using them may still have drained his energy!”
“What!?” Said Salina. “How many did he say?”
“Too many,” replied Garoth, looking grim. Then he turned, and ran off into the fog.
By this point, Alexian no longer had the energy to stay standing, and fell backwards. He didn’t have the strength to stop himself, and hit the ground with a hard thump. His eyesight was dimming. All the sounds around him were growing feinter.
Alexian could just make out the form of Salina and Jorund appear above him.
With a distant and muffled voice, Salina shouted,”Alexian! Stay with us! Don’t you dare go to sleep!” Then Alexian was gone.
Chapter 15
A Glimpse
…
Alexian felt weak. Too weak to move. Too weak to think.
Even his senses were dulled by his lack of energy. He could faintly hear a thumping, pounding sound: marching; as well as the creaking and groaning of wooden wheels turning. He could feel himself laying on top of something that bounced and bumped him up and down ever so slightly.
But then it was all fading away. It was as if all those sensations were leaving, sinking under a river while he remained at the shore.
Suddenly there were new sensations. He was still laying down, but the bouncing and jostling was gone. The sounds of the wheels and marching were replaced by a soft, quiet hum, as well as a single note of a song, repeating endlessly, over and over every couple seconds.
Something felt different about these new sensations. It felt as if, instead of his previous sensations sinking, it was him who had been rising, and now he was at the surface, where the current sensations were no longer blocked by the water, and his old ones were drifting away.
Alexian wanted to stay where he was. Some instinctual part of him was latching on to the current sensations, and didn’t want to let go. He felt a welcoming familiarity here, like coming home after a long time away.
He opened his eyes as much as he could with how weary he was. Light was fracturing in front of his eyes, distorting everything in sight. He saw glimpses of something beside him, standing slim and tall over him, like a protective sentinel. The fractured light was coming from the metal body of the sentinel, reflecting from some invisible source.
Alexian wanted to reach for it, but his body didn’t respond to his thoughts. He felt like his mind was between two worlds. For a moment, he desperately wanted to go fully into the world he was seeing now, the homely feeling drawing at him, but he held himself back. He didn’t know how he knew, but he knew that if he did go into this world, he would be leaving the world of Illia, Annaliese, and the Resistance behind forever.
Part of him wanted to do it anyway. A voice in the back of his mind argued that this was his chance to leave all the problems of Illia behind forever. He wouldn’t need to face Fenric, he wouldn’t need to kill, he wouldn’t have to worry about disappearing.
But Alexian couldn’t possibly do that. Annaliese needed him, Donovan needed him, Salina needed him, the whole world needed him. He would be a monster as bad as Fenric if he decided to abandon them all at his first chance.
He began pushing to go back down to his senses in Illia. In the same unknowing way he knew before, he knew making this choice would be costly. To go back after surfacing this far, he would need to leave part of himself behind here, to let go of the part that was pulling him here, a part of himself he would never have back if he did. But he couldn’t abandon everyone, especially not Annaliese, so he let the piece go, and felt himself begin sinking back to his other senses, leaving the world from his memories behind. His eyes shut once again, and he sank back down.
In his weakened state of mind, Alexian quickly forgot what he had seen. All he was left with was a lingering feeling of what the other world had felt like, and a desire for that feeling he had, yet didn’t know. As if waking from a pleasant dream.
Chapter 16
Broken
How long have I been asleep?
Alexian woke sometime in the middle of the day. When he looked to his side, he found himself lying in the back of a medical wagon, like the one that he had seen carrying soldiers who had been badly injured in Fenric’s attack. There was still fog in the air, making it impossible to know the exact time, but it was lighter than it had been before. He could both feel and hear the wagon moving beneath him, along with the sounds of other soldiers marching.
He tried sitting up, but a sudden lightheadedness made him fall back down on his back with a groan.
He laid there for some time. While waiting, he tried to remember what had happened before he passed out. He could remember the unbelievable and terrifying conversation he’d had with the dragon, but after that his memory got fuzzy. He remembered Garoth and Salina asking him questions about the conversation, and he remembered how he had apparently been using ‘words of power,’ but he still didn’t understand what that meant. He’d just been talking normally.
The marching continued for another few hours. Alexian figured he was better off lying on the cart than trying to get up again just to join the march.
As he lied on his back, looking up at the white expanse of roiling fog filling the sky, old worries resurfaced in his thoughts.
He still knew nothing of what his life had been before he fell from Aleysia. He might have had a family, he might have been in love, he might have had a whole life free of the life and death concerns he had now. But as these thoughts returned to him, they didn’t seem as worrying as they had before. The words of Annaliese came back to him:
“You can make new memories.”
He spent the rest of the ride smiling in remembrance of Annaliese’s unfailing optimism and the encouragements she gave him.
Eventually, he heard someone call for a halt. Both the marching and the wagon stopped in obedience.
Now that he’d stopped moving, Alexian risked sitting up again. He did it slowly, and was rewarded with a light headache afterward, but he successfully sat up. Next he tried to stand up, and get out of the wagon. It was much more difficult because of the pain in the center of his head, but he managed to do that too.
Why isn’t the amulet curing my headache?
He looked down his shirt to make sure it was still there. It was, but to his surprise, the amulet was glowing as if already healing him. Despite this, his headache still prevailed.
Is it just taking a long time to cure it? How long has it been trying to heal me?
Even as he thought this, the glow died, and his headache was blissfully gone.
Now standing outside the stationary wagon, he could take a look at his surroundings. The fog was much lighter here; he could make out groups of soldiers breaking formation, and starting to set up camp around him.
A man came around from the front of the wagon, and jumped when he saw Alexian. “Oh! You are awake!” he said. Then he turned, and gave hurried orders to a nearby soldier.
The soldier nodded, and ran off into the fog. The man, who Alexian now recognized as a healer, the same one who’d been with Salina both other times he saw him, came up to Alexian, and began pushing him back toward the wagon, saying, “You need to lie back down. Salina will be here soon but you need to rest in the meantime.”
Not having an alternative, Alexian complied with the healer, and got back inside of the wagon. However, he didn’t rest. He’d spent the last few hours resting in the back of the wagon waiting for the march to end. Instead, he sat with his legs hanging off the back, and took the time to think about how he felt about everything, as he so often had to do. Ever since waking up, he’d felt different. He didn’t know why he felt different or how exactly he was different, but something had changed, and he could feel it. It was as if there had always been a constant noise in the back of his head, but now the noise was gone, and he’d been unaware that it had even existed until it was gone. What the absence of the noise meant, and whether he should be happy or worried for its disappearance, he didn’t know.
