Cultwick the sweeper bot.., p.2
The Mace, the Wizard, and the Robot Kitten, page 2
And since they all have emotions now, they’re totally traumatized. Especially the kitten.
I hate cats.
INSTRUCTOR
Norman? Would you like to respond to anything that’s been said? Any questions?
Norman?
Whoa! Where did you get that mace?
NORMAN!
* * *
Thank you for reading THE MACE, THE WIZARD, AND THE ROBOT KITTEN! I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it.
And if you really liked this little story, you might want to know that there’s more where this came from…
From the festive mind of BILL ALIVE, author of the acclaimed steampunk comedy THE PUNCTUALITY MACHINE, comes a short, sparkling tale of time travel, sibling rivalry (well, cousins), and love.
What if we’d gotten time travel instead of the Internet?
It’s 2005, and Marvin, a still-mostly-aspiring actor, is turning thirty. His brilliant, blowhard cousin Drew, though only two weeks older, has just made it onto the illustrious “Time Team” at MIT… and he makes sure everyone at Marvin’s birthday party knows it.
Marvin has spent his whole life trailing his successful cousin. If Drew manages to pull off actual time travel, will Marvin ever live it down?
Maybe Marvin needs to take matters into his own hands… before he runs out of time himself.
If you love alternate history and funny, thoughtful, short science fiction that imagines how future tech might really play out, don’t miss this party of a story with the Birthday Boy.
ONE-CLICK Birthday Boy NOW!
Get More from Bill Alive!
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Books by Bill Alive
The Empath Detective Cozy Mysteries
Murder Feels Awful
Murder Feels Bad
Murder Feels Crazy
Murder Feels Deadly
Murder Feels Evil (forthcoming)
The Wonder Springs Cozy Mysteries
Murder With a Psychic Touch
Murder With a Psychic Zap
Murder With a Psychic Kiss
Murder in a Psychic Prison
Other Mystery Short Stories
The Affair of the Hideous Vase
Fantasy and Science Fiction
The Punctuality Machine (And Other Tales of Time Dysfunction)
Comedy
Rich, Skinny, and SUPER Spiritual! Transform your ENTIRE LIFE In Just 24 HOURS!! For Real!!!
Wild, WILD Wealth! A Totally Real Self-Help Book Starring Alexio Fairfax, Internet Gazillionaire! (forthcoming)
Don’t Dance on the Lobsters (A Modest Collection of Spoof TV Skits, Podcast Parody, and Further Minor Literary Crimes)
Don’t Name Your Baby (A Modest Collection of Spoof Self-Help, Parody Short Stories, and Other Minor Literary Crimes)
“Elves” Rob Shoe Franchise (And More Silly News Satire From The Fabricated Press)
The Brave Little Mailman (And Other Stories)
Can Someone Who Knows They Exist Go Call the Police? (A Romantic Comedy. With Philosophy.)
Five Philosophy Comedies (Big Ideas. Bigger Laughs.)
A Tale of True Like (A Romantic Comedy)
Waiting for Perot (And Other Goofy Comedies I Wrote in High School)
Love Stories
Crags in the Sunset (And Other Love Stories I Wrote in High School)
Literary (ish) Stories
The Sofa King (And Other Stories)
For Children
How to Talk to a Rock
Julie and the Wishing Rock
The Shopping Mall Dragon
The Trapped Math Book
Whispering Tomatoes
Rosa’s Third Rhinoceros
The Playground Queen
Available at all major online bookstores at:
billalive.com
About the Author
Bill Alive writes award-winning comedy, mystery, and fantasy and science-fiction—often all in the same books. His two cozy paranormal series, the MURDER FEELS AWFUL series (starring an empath detective) and the WONDER SPRINGS series (starring an entire family of secret psychics), both bring you smart, funny, action-packed mysteries, where the relationships are just as much fun as the hunt for the killer.
In his parody self-help series, Rich, Skinny, and Super Spiritual!, Internet gazillionaire Alexio Fairfax and his ragtag band of loyal content producers get up to ridiculous hijinks (and land in serious hot water).
He also loves writing short fiction, such as his time-traveling steampunk romantic comedy “The Punctuality Machine”, the large-cast audio production of which was a finalist for the Parsec Award. You can read that and other stories in The Punctuality Machine (And Other Tales of Time Dysfunction ).
Several more collections of his stories are now available as well.
When he’s not writing, you might see Bill wheeling around on his adult-size kick scooter (seriously, you have to try it), preferably along with one or more of his excessively adorable children. Whenever possible, he also name-checks his wife Beth, because if you think your favorite writers are amazing, you clearly have not yet met the spouses who put up with them. Thanks, Beth! (he says).
And thank you, Dear Reader, for actually reading this humble author bio. As a rule, we writers of author bios are not prone to vanity, but even we require the occasional solace of reflecting that our work has not wholly been in vain. Happy reading!
Read more books from Bill Alive!
billalive.com
The Mace, the Wizard, and the Robot Kitten A Fantasy Short Story (Critiqued)
Copyright © 2025 Bill Powell
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the author. Reviewers may quote brief passages in reviews. Please do.
Cover art by Chris Capio.
Cover and layout copyright © 2025 Bill Powell.
This is a work of fiction. All stories, names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, products, wizards, kittens, unicorns (however tedious), or, heaven forfend, actual critique groups, is intended or should be inferred.
Published by Villette Press.
v25A03
Bill Alive, The Mace, the Wizard, and the Robot Kitten
