“Yes, I do.”

  “Then learn from your mistakes and move on. That’s all any of us can do.” She pulls me into a hug.

  “How can you forgive me so easily?”

  “Because you didn’t mean to hurt Trevor and me. You may not have thought about the consequences of your actions, but you didn’t set out with ill intent directed at us specifically.”

  “I hope Owen can find it in his heart to forgive me, but I have a sinking feeling that he’s through with our relationship.”

  “You won’t know until you ask him. Call him.”

  “You’re right. I might as well find out. At least then I’ll know one way or the other.”

  As difficult as it was, I made myself wait until tonight to reach out to Owen. I wasn’t sure what his plans were and I wanted to be home when I made the call.

  The phone rings twice and my heart races from nervous energy.

  “Hello.”

  “Owen.”

  “Eliza.”

  “How are you?”

  “I’ve been better.” I want to shout at him that he’s a fucking liar because he looked fine to me, but I know that’s not going to help this situation any.

  “I know you need time, but I wanted you to know that I really am sorry and I miss you.”

  “Yeah, thanks.”

  “When are you going home for break?”

  “I’m not. I have to work.”

  Crap. I leave tomorrow and won’t see him for over a month.

  “Enjoy your holidays.”

  “Thanks, you too.”

  “Owen?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Are you breaking up with me?”

  He sighs in my ear. “Eliza, do we have to do this now?”

  “Well, I’d kind of like to know.”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “How can you not know?”

  “Look, if you need a definitive answer at this moment then I guess I am breaking up with you.”

  “I’m sure Hannah has nothing to do with it.”

  He laughs, it’s hollow and void of any emotion. “You can tell yourself that, if it makes you feel better. But it doesn’t make it true.”

  “I’m sorry for everything, Owen. Merry Christmas to you and your family.” I end the call and drop my phone on my bed before rolling over and sobbing into my pillow. Whoever said it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all doesn’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. Loving and losing is worse than not knowing what you’ve been missing out on.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Owen

  This has been the worst day. Maybe not the worst. That was two days ago when I found out about Eliza’s blog. Today is a close second, though.

  I can’t believe I’m sitting in a coffee shop with Hannah as if the last six weeks haven’t happened.

  She cornered me on my way to my afternoon class and begged me to grab a coffee. I didn’t really want to, but there’s some unresolved business between us and it would be good to get that cleared up.

  She smiles. “What’s been going on with you?”

  “I haven’t been able to play football since your husband tried to kill me.” There. Is that clear enough for you?

  “I’m so sorry that happened to you. I didn’t realize he’d hired a private investigator to follow me. He’d been watching me for weeks. I found pictures of you and me in his briefcase.”

  “He didn’t learn about us that day?”

  “No. He’d known for a long time. He just waited for the right time to attack you. I’m not sure why he chose that particular day.”

  “Did you find a new job?”

  “I did. I’m working at an all boy prep school. I enjoy it. The boys are too young for me though,” she jests.

  I bark out a laugh and she places her hand on top of mine. “You know, since my husband is out of the picture we could pick up where we left off.”

  The sound of something crashing to the floor calls my attention to the front of the shop. Eliza stands there, eyes locked on us, her coffee in a puddle on the floor at her feet. Her mouth is frozen open in shock and the hurt expression on her face has my chest aching painfully.

  Slipping my hand from underneath Hannah’s I’m about to call Eliza’s name when she runs from the shop.

  “Where were we?” Hannah leans forward.

  “You know, I need to get going. It was nice seeing you, and I wish you the best.” Pushing my chair back, I rise and stare down at her.

  “But?” she asks.

  “Let’s leave the past in the past. A lot’s happened since then, a lifetime of things, and I just want to keep moving forward.”

  “I understand and wish you the best. You’re a hard act for a guy to follow, Owen.”

  “You’ll find the person who’s meant to be with you.”

  “What about you? Will you find her?”

  “I think I already have. I’m just not sure how it’s going to work out.”

  “If you love her, don’t let her get away, no matter what.” The way she’s looking at me has me wondering if she felt more for me than she let on.

  “Take care of yourself, Hannah.”

  “You too.”

  Grabbing my backpack from the chair, I hurry out to the sidewalk looking both ways for any sign of Eliza, but she’s disappeared on me. “Fuck,” I mutter under my breath as I start heading toward my class.

  Slamming the apartment door behind me, I drop my backpack to the floor with a loud thud.

  “Uh-oh, buddy, that didn’t sound good,” Trevor comments from his place on the couch.

  I kick off my sneakers and stalk to the kitchen for a beer. Once I remove the cap, I guzzle the entire contents down and open another one.

  Moving into the living room, I drop down on the other end of the couch and exhale a deep sigh. I sound pathetic.

  “What’s up, man?”

  “Huh?” I take a deep pull of beer still feeling frustrated, angry, sad, and a plethora of other emotions.

  “What’s going on? You’ve been weird for two days.”

  “You know the Boston Terriers Buzz Blog?”

  “How could I not?”

  “It’s Eliza’s.”

  “What do you mean it’s hers? She works for it?”

  “Nope. I mean it’s all hers. She owns it, writes the posts, and chooses the pictures. She does everything.”

  “Oh, shit.”

  “Yep.” I raise the bottle to my lips and suck down some more of the refreshing liquid.

  “How did you find out?”

  “I saw a post that she was writing and confronted her.”

  “What did she say? Is there a valid reason for her doing it?”

  “Does anything constitute a valid reason for the things she did?”

  “Maybe.”

  “She started the blog to get revenge on Cameron for denying he’s Beatrice’s father and for every other thing he did to her.”

  “Sounds like a good reason to me.”

  “She said she started to get more people following and that put money in her pocket through sponsors. She uses the money to support Beatrice.”

  “Those are some pretty solid reasons if you ask me.”

  “I don’t have a problem with the why. I’m struggling with the content she chose to post. She almost cost you and Grace your relationship.”

  “But she didn’t. And a lot of the problems Grace and I had weren’t because of the blog post. There were things Grace had to work out for herself. In your case you were seriously hurt because of the post about you.”

  “Actually, I’m not sure that’s true. I had coffee with Hannah today.”

  “Dude, tell me you’re not going back down that dead end?”

  “Hear me out. Hannah told me her husband had hired a P.I. to watch her. She found pictures of us that he’d had for weeks.”

  “Then it wasn’t Eliza’s fault.”

  “Everyone else found out from her.”

  “They did, but you didn’t end up in the hospital because of what she did.”

  “That doesn’t change the fact that she’s been posting shit about friends of ours for almost three years now.”

  “No one forced people to believe what she wrote. You can’t put the blame all on her.”

  “I don’t know how to come to grips with what she did. If she had told me right away…” I shrug. “Maybe I’d have had an easier time with it.”

  “No, you wouldn’t have. The only thing that would’ve happened is you two wouldn’t have had a relationship. You never would’ve given her a chance if she came clean.”

  “Can we not talk about this anymore? My head’s killing me and all I want to do is forget about Eliza Michel for five fucking minutes.” If that’s possible.

  My phone conversation with Eliza comes to me as I drive over to the frat house. Fuck. Was I too hard on her? I was angry and buzzed when she called. I don’t really want to sever all ties to her, but I’m not sure I can forgive her. I need some time away, and the holiday break is coming at the perfect time. Christmas is my favorite holiday and it will be a great distraction for me. I can work more hours in the next couple of weeks leading up to the holidays. Goliath’s is always packed with workplace parties, and the tips are great.

  Parking in front of the house along the curb, I shiver from the icy bite of the wind. Burying my hands in the front pocket of my hoodie, I jog up the front stairs. The door’s unlocked, so I let myself in.

  “What’s going on, bro?” Clancy asks as I walk into the frat house living room.

  “Not much. I just came from physical therapy.” I settle into one of the wide armchairs and place my feet on the ottoman. I drop my keys on the small table to the side of me.

  “How’s it going? Any arm pain?”

  “It’s sore now that they worked it out, but it’s feeling better every day.”

  “Glad to hear it. The team will be glad to have you back.”

  “No one will be happier when I can play again than me.”

  “Hey, look who’s here.” Flynn walks into the room and flops down onto the large couch. “How’s it going?”

  “Not bad.” I flex my fingers a few times. “The arm’s on the mend.”

  “Nice. You must be stir crazy by now.”

  “I am. Fortunately, I can get back to working more shifts now. Maybe I can recoup some of the funds I lost being out of work.”

  Flynn shoots a glance at Clancy. “Should we bring him in on our plan?” He grins.

  Clancy runs his hand over his beard as he thinks. “We could. Three brains are better than two.”

  “Uh-oh, the two of you scheming never ends well for someone. Who’s the victim this time?”

  “Nolan’s our target.” Flynn smirks.

  “You mean unsuspecting victim,” I retort.

  Flynn shrugs. “Potato, Potahto.”

  “I can’t be in on anything that will fuck with Nolan. He saved my life. But I definitely want to know what you two derelicts are planning for him.”

  Clancy laughs, “We’re going to auction off his virginity.”

  “Does he know?”

  “Fuck, no. We’re going to set it up online and the money we make will be used for charitable services.”

  “Does keeping enough beer in the fridge count as a charity?” Flynn inquires.

  “You guys are like a couple of evil geniuses, but let me ask you something. How do you know he hasn’t already banged some chick?”

  They chuckle, sharing an amused glance before Clancy answers, “He told us when he was drunk last night.”

  “What if once he finds out, he doesn’t want to go through with it? Have you two thought about that?”

  “Come on. What nineteen-year-old guy’s going to turn down guaranteed pussy?” Clancy states.

  “I think Nolan might. He hasn’t done the deed yet and I’m sure he’s had opportunities since he’s been at school.”

  Flynn kicks his booted feet up onto the coffee table. “No matter what the outcome, it’s an awesome joke. Plus, when would we ever have this opportunity? He might be the first nineteen-year-old virgin we’ve met.”

  “And girls have done this, so why can’t a guy?” Clancy throws his palms up.

  “There’s no way to prove he’s a virgin though.” I’m trying to be the voice of reason, but it doesn’t seem to be working.

  "They’ll have to take our word for it, and as soon as they meet him they’ll know for sure. He’s awkward as fuck around girls,” Clancy reasons.

  “How are you going to weed out the real ones from the people just fucking around?”

  “They’ll have to pay a fee to be considered. A nonrefundable fee.” Clancy nods, proudly. “And we’ll have to have some parameters so he doesn’t end up losing it to some granny.”

  Flynn barks out a laugh and I even find myself chuckling. “Wouldn’t that be rich. Come here darlin’ granny wants to get a better look at your meat stick,” Flynn parodies.

  “Dude, that’s fucking gross.” I shake my head at him. “When are you planning for this to take place?”

  “We’ve only just begun brainstorming.” Clancy shifts his weight and props his heel on his knee. “But most likely we’ll have everything ready to go for Valentine’s Day. It seemed fitting that it should happen then.”

  “I hate to be a killjoy—”

  “Then don’t,” Flynn cuts me off.

  “Keep in mind that you’re screwing with someone’s life. It seems funny now, but what if it goes badly?”

  “Did that bang on the head make you more mature? More responsible? You used to be right here plotting with us. What’s going on?” Flynn’s brow creases as if he’s concerned.

  “Maybe it did. All I can say is, think this over before you follow through with it.” Have I become more responsible since the assault? What happened to me has brought me much more awareness about cause and effect. Maybe I should thank Eliza for this.

  Chapter Thirty

  Owen

  Christmas Day

  “Hey, Grammy, I have your present.” I hold the large box out for her. “It’s something I think you might like right away.”

  “You got me sex? Is there a naked man in here?” she jokes taking the box from me and shaking it.

  “Gross, Grammy. Keep your mind out of the gutter, this is a PG 13 house.”

  “Now that’s good for a laugh,” Elle chimes in.

  Grammy tears the paper off the box and opens the top peering inside. “Did you make this?”

  “I did. I thought you’d get a kick out of it.

  “I love it. This is the coolest tray in the world. ‘Go balls out with the Terriers this Christmas.’ I can’t wait to use it.”

  “Now that we got that out of the way, what can I do to help?”

  “The turkey needs to be cleaned and this time I’m going to have you stuff it.”

  “I thought you said we were having ham?”

  “We were going to, but you did such a great job on Thanksgiving, that I decided to have turkey instead.”

  “How do you stuff a turkey?”

  “You put stuffing inside of it.”

  “Are you messing with me, Grammy?”

  She laughs, “I am. You’re so fun to tease. Watching you clean that turkey was the highlight of my Thanksgiving.”

  “I’m glad I’m here to entertain you.”

  “Me too. Your brother, Josh, is too busy drawing in his sketchbook to pay me any attention.” She winks at me.

  Josh doesn’t raise his head from the image he’s sketching. “Grammy, nice try. I took you to dinner the other night. I always make time for you.”

  “You do. That’s why you’re my favorite.”

  “Hey, I should be your favorite. I shoved my arm up a turkey’s ass for you. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”

  “You’re right. You’re my favorite.”

  Elle breezes in the kitchen. “I should be your favorite. I show you pictures of hot guys and share my dirty books with you.”

  “Good point,” Grammy agrees. “You can be my favorite.” Elle smiles at Grammy and then sticks her tongue out at me.

  “What time are we eating? I’m starving.”

  “I told your father and Jameson to be here at four.”

  “They’re both coming?” Elle’s surprise is evident.

  “Yep. I was surprised too. Must be a slow day for mayhem,” Grammy snorts.

  I laugh. She’s too much. I never miss my mother more than when I’m going through a tough time or there’s a holiday. Right now it’s a double whammy with Eliza and I breaking up and Christmas. But I’m thankful every day that I have Grammy. She always adds just the right amount of humor to every situation. And she has a knack for putting things in their proper perspective.

  “Hey, Owen. Throw me one of those rolls.” Jam gestures at the basket in front of me from his seat down near the other end of the table.

  Grabbing hold of a roll, I throw it to him and he catches it. “Touchdown,” Josh calls out.

  “That’s the first pass I’ve thrown in almost two months,” I joke, making light, but the realization slices through me. It’s been almost eight weeks since I’ve thrown a pass to one of my teammates. What if I’ve lost my mojo? Can natural talent dry up during an injury?

  “Son,” my dad calls for me to look his way at the head of the table. “Stop worrying. Your arm will be fine.”

  “I know.” I shove a bite of ham and potatoes in my mouth and barely taste it.

  “Owen.” He pins me with his stare. “I promise you, by next season your arm will be better than ever. Continue your therapy and you’ll be back in the gym before you know it. It’s a long time before the start of the next season.”

  I nod. “Thanks, Dad. I have been worried about it.”

  He points at me with his fork. “Life’s too short to worry.” My thoughts automatically go to my mom and I wonder if he’s thinking of her too. She would go all out shopping for Christmas gifts to surprise us with in addition to whatever we had on our Santa list. Mom made everything more fun. I think that’s why I like to make people laugh. It’s one of my favorite things.

 

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