Yeah i hate ate your cup.., p.10
Yeah, I Hate-Ate Your Cupcake!: A Romantic Comedy, page 10
Mike burst out laughing. “You got dumped? That must be a first for you.”
“It was a mutual decision,” I said, annoyed. “And you know what? We weren’t even dating in the first place.”
“She clearly saw right through his bullshit.” A smile played around Beck’s mouth. “You’re losing your touch there, Liam.”
“Get out of my sight,” Greg barked.
My brothers and I looked at one another.
“All of you.”
My phone went off as we grabbed our bags.
Joseph: Crazy wedding.
A smile spread slowly across my face.
Liam: Might have taken it a bit too far with the pizza.
Joseph: I can tell you’re COO material because only a top-notch COO has that kind of foresight.
Liam: Glad someone thinks so. My brother just threw me out of his office.
Joseph: He doesn’t appreciate pizza?
Liam: He doesn’t appreciate anything.
Liam: If you would like to hear more of my brilliance and eat pizza, you should stop by the Platinum Provisions office. I’m always around.
I held my breath.
The text message app showed Joseph was typing.
Joseph: Actually, I think I will. My mom’s driving me crazy. She’s been on the phone all day gossiping about the wedding and then keeps interrupting me while I’m trying to work to give me the play-by-play of the conversation she just had.
“Actually, Greg,” I said, swinging back inside the room, “I think you owe me a heartfelt apology.”
A box of supreme pizza awaited me in my office when Joseph arrived.
“Man, the wedding food was good, but I’ve been craving this all day,” he admitted, grabbing a slice and taking a bite. Away from the pressure of a crowded social event, he was a lot more relaxed.
“You can’t find good pizza in California. Believe me, I have tried every single place. I have a spreadsheet.”
“Nothing like a good spreadsheet.”
We sat on the couch in my office.
“Is it weird being back in New York?” I asked Joseph.
“My mom is weird.” He took another slice of pizza. “She threatened to fly out to California and surprise me if I didn’t come into town.” Joseph shuddered.
I handed him some garlic sauce.
“She keeps trying to get me to date.” Joseph looked at me. “She said Karlie broke up with you because of the pizza?”
Possessiveness rose inside me.
Cool it. If it gets you his company, so what if Joseph dates Karlie?
But I could not let that happen.
“She wasn’t pleased,” I said, forcing myself to sound casual, “but I’m sure I can bring her around. Why?” I added carefully. “Your mom wants you to take her?”
“Dang,” Joseph said, reaching for the red pepper flakes and another slice. “You Svenssons really are nuts. No, I’m not going to date Karlie. I—” He paused then said, “I’m focused on my work.”
“I see.”
“Karlie’s cool, though; she’s pretty normal.” He turned his gaze on me. “You seem pretty normal, too, except for the pizza. Such a badass thing to do.”
“I did ruin your friend’s wedding,” I said, hoping I sounded sorry.
Joseph released a hollow laugh. “Bently was so mean to me when we were kids. We went to the same school, and she would spread all these rumors about people. She loved to turn people against each other. She’s going to be out for blood after this. I hope Karlie watches her back. She might have to move.”
Fuck.
I hadn’t wanted to make things worse for Karlie, just show her that someone was finally willing to step up for her.
“Hopefully the next wedding event won’t be as crazy,” Joseph said, wiping his hands on a napkin. “At least I’ll see you there, though.” He gave me a questioning look.
“Absolutely,” I promised.
And that meant I definitely needed Karlie back on Team Liam.
19
Karlie
I was on day two of my wallow. I lay back on the bed holding my tablet and scrolling through the Netflix app, wondering which Julia Roberts movie I should rewatch.
Mystic Pizza, My Best Friend’s Wedding, or Pretty Woman, even though I just got done watching it?
I threw the tablet on the bedspread. Liam was nothing like Richard Gere. Richard Gere would not have embarrassed me at the most important wedding ever.
I rolled over and tucked the covers under my chin, replaying the moment when the pizza delivery boy showed up.
In hindsight, it had been gratifying to see Bently’s perfect wedding get interrupted like that. Especially after she had been so horrible to me all afternoon.
Not just the afternoon—your whole life.
Though I knew it was wrong to have Bently’s big day ruined, part of me was secretly thrilled that Liam had done it and that he’d said he did it for me. Me!
He said he cares about you.
But still. He ruined someone’s wedding.
“Oh my god.” Roberta flung the door to my room open. “You have got to see this.” She stomped over to the bed and started dragging me out from under the covers.
“I hate Bently. I don’t want to see anything related to her,” I protested.
“If I have to see it, you have to too,” my twin insisted.
“Boo!” Gran yelled at the TV when I padded into the living room.
“I cannot believe her,” Tosha exclaimed, accepting the martini Gran handed her.
“Did her parents hire a PR firm?” my mom wondered as she sipped her martini.
“Karlie, sweetheart,” she said when she saw me. “You haven’t eaten anything all day. Here’s a martini.”
I accepted the glass and ate one of the olives as we watched the entertainment newscast.
A bubbly reporter flipped her hair. “And now for the story everyone’s talking about—a high-society socialite, Bently Raymond, who was married this Saturday, received an early wedding present.”
The TV cut to a cell phone video of Liam passing out pizza.
“During the long wedding, the bride, with the help of one handsome Svensson brother, surprised all her guests with pizza.”
The program cut to an interview of Bently in front of her mom’s house.
“You just want your wedding to be unique and for everyone to have a good time,” she gushed with fake enthusiasm. “It was a celebration. Everyone showed their love to me and my husband. We had so many people who wanted to provide their wisdom and good wishes. Of course, when you’re as popular as I am, it can take a while, and why not pizza from the best joint in New York?” She held up a slice.
Tosha ate an olive. “That slimy—”
“Cunt,” Gran interjected.
The newscast cut to the cell phone video. There I was, hobbling over to Liam then yelling at him.
“You look like a troll!” Roberta laughed into her martini.
“Some of the attendees took the wedding a little too seriously.” Bently was back on the screen, laughing. “My advice to brides is to have a good time and don’t sweat the small stuff.”
“Wise words. Congratulations, Bently!”
“Dad said she hired some super-duper PR firm to spin the narrative,” Roberta said as the entertainment show transitioned to an update about the Venetian royals.
“Honestly, Karlie, how could you?” my mother said reproachfully as I stared in shock at the TV. “Now I’m going to have to listen to that woman crow about her wonderful, kind daughter.”
“Too bad you dumped Liam or he could make an Instagram post about how he had to order pizza for a boring wedding,” Tosha said.
Gran threw an olive at me. “How could you lose your hot billionaire? The man ordered pizza in the middle of a wedding torture session. You should have given him a blow job, not dumped him.”
My mother clucked her tongue disapprovingly. “Karlie, you can’t be so picky. You’re never going to find anyone as good as Liam. Such a waste of a good man. Roberta should have Liam. Or Tosha. Why he’s with Karlie, lord knows.”
Gran harrumphed. “Don’t let them get you down. You’re like me. You put out. That’s why he likes you. Send him a little sampler of the goods and he’ll come crawling right back.”
“He needs to come crawling to Roberta.” My mom hiccupped and poured herself another drink.
“Mom,” I said.
“What, sweetheart? Liam’s rich and out of your league. Roberta is more his style.”
“I’m engaged.” My twin held up her left hand.
“No shame in upgrading. I’m sure your father won’t mind if we lose the wedding deposit payments.”
The doorbell rang.
“Speaking of the lying, cheating scum,” Gran said loudly.
“Marcus!” Roberta said happily as my ex walked in.
“Heard about your breakup, Karlie,” he said. Marcus looked... relieved?
You’re reading too much into it. Besides, do you really care?
Before Liam, I had spent an embarrassing amount of time pouring over the scrapbook I had made about Marcus. But lately I had spent more time wondering which cupcake to send to Liam.
Roberta must have seen something, too, because she immediately started making out with Marcus.
I hurried to my room. Tosha grabbed another martini and followed me.
“I’m not going to be much fun,” I told her.
She opened my dresser drawer and pulled out a bag of cheddar popcorn.
“It’s better than being at home with my mom or listening to Roberta and Marcus be all lovey-dovey.” She tossed a few pieces of popcorn in her mouth.
I flopped back on my bed. I was now officially worse off than before I met Liam. Bently was back on top as Queen Bee, my twin was still engaged to Marcus, and I was single and living in my childhood bedroom.
I grabbed the popcorn bag from Tosha.
“I’m sorry about your breakup,” she said sympathetically.
“It wasn’t—” I was going to say it wasn’t real. But if it wasn’t real, why had Liam wanted so badly to defend me?
“It’s fine. He was...” I groped for the words.
Caring? Handsome? The best man you’ve ever been with?
What about Marcus?
Liam wasn’t Marcus.
“Liam was amazing,” I said in a small voice.
Tosha wrapped me in a hug. “Sounds like it’s not fine.”
“Do you think I could convince him to come back?” I worried.
“Text him,” Tosha urged.
Karlie: Just wanted to see if you wanted to grab pizza.
“Ugh, why did I write that? I probably should have just sent him a topless photo. Wait, that’s not a good idea. God, I need to not send text messages drunk.”
“Your message has been sent!” the phone’s voice assistant said in a robotic tone.
“What! No, no!” I tapped at the phone. “Come back, come back.” I let out a primal yell.
“Oh my god.” Tosha took the phone from me.
I downed the rest of my martini. “I’m going to die old and alone.”
“You have to get back out there,” Tosha coaxed.
“I can’t be trusted in public. Or around men. Especially not attractive ones.”
“I have a friend who’s been looking,” Tosha said. “He’s in town this week. Why don’t you guys meet for lunch? No pressure. It will help you get back out there and forget all about Liam.”
But could I ever really forget him?
20
Liam
“You can’t tell me this is not an attractive package.”
“You are trying my patience,” Greg said in a clipped tone as he read through the proposal I had put together for buying Joseph’s company.
“For someone in here asking for a hundred and twenty million dollars, you seem to have an outsized sense of self-importance.”
“I’m not sure this package is going to do any good once he finds out that his best friend dumped you,” Beck said.
Greg scowled. “This whole thing is a mess. Your whole inane plan hinges on Karlie taking you back. As if she’s going to forgive you for ruining her friend’s wedding.”
“It was a pizza gift,” I corrected. “And unlike you, I am able to put together an apology. I bit the bullet, called a PR firm, and asked them to get in touch with Bently to change the narrative. It’s all part of my plan to win back Karlie.”
Carl rolled his eyes.
“Pay attention, Carl. The master is at work here. I have a foolproof four-step process to apologizing to a woman. You start off by asking her out for a drink so that you can beg for forgiveness. You show up in slacks, white shirt, no tie, sleeves rolled up. Give her a nice present, flowers—but not roses—and a sincere apology, make sure to list out exactly what you did wrong, look adorable and sexy, and don’t forget to smile. They eat that shit right up.”
Greg shook his head.
“And the award for the person most like our father goes to Liam,” Beck stated.
“What? I’m not anything like Dad.”
“Manipulative, self-absorbed,” Carl listed off.
“I’m doing this for the business. I’m doing this for our sisters, for Svenssons Investment. For Greg!” I walked over to my brother to hug him.
“Do not touch me.”
I jerked my hands away. “Okay, maybe not for Greg.”
Beck grunted and continued to flip through my proposal.
“You know what? Fuck all of you. I am going to put together my apology.”
My florist had the plush bouquet of stargazer lilies ready for me when I arrived.
A text for Karlie came in right after I paid. It was a garbled mess, but I definitely made out “topless photo” and “pizza.”
I refused to acknowledge how happy I was that she still seemed to want me in her life.
You just want to win the company. And, I added because my inner desires were not going down without a fight, you don’t want to be the one getting dumped.
While I walked back to my office, I mentally composed the perfect text and planned our big apology date. Karlie had mentioned pizza. An upscale Italian place was near my office. I would also buy her a nice bracelet.
Liam: While cupcakes are more my style, we should do dinner before dessert.
I thought it was a pretty good text, not too flirty but still playful.
But then Karlie didn’t respond.
Maybe it was too much; maybe she was angry?
Or maybe... I glanced through the window of a small restaurant.
Did she seriously move on already?
21
Karlie
Tosha’s friend was waiting at the bar when I showed up.
At least he’s early.
That was the only thing he had going for him.
“Karlie,” he said, smiling when he saw me. The smile stretched almost halfway around his face, practically to his limp, greasy hairline.
“Hi. Mikhal?”
“The one and only,” he said, taking my hand and practically crushing it.
I did not play that shit with men. I baked. A lot. Men could get the fuck out of here with their toxic masculinity handshakes.
I squeezed Mikhal’s hand right back, pumping it up and down for good measure. I thought I heard something crack.
Mikhal visibly recoiled, and I smirked. Testosterone couldn’t beat hand-whipping cream.
“Do you want a drink?” he asked.
“Sure,” I said, wondering if Tosha would be mad if I pretended my wheelchair-bound grandmother desperately needed me home, even though she was probably online gambling right now.
“I’ll have an apple juice,” he said to the bartender. “And what will you have—water, orange juice, or apple juice?”
My brain screeched to a halt as it tried to compute the question.
“You’re drinking a vodka and apple juice?” I asked in confusion.
“I don’t drink, and I don’t want you to drink either,” he replied.
Um...
“I guess orange juice.”
And I guess I’m hitting the liquor store after this.
“I’m glad you are amenable to practicing our values,” Mikhal said, giving me another of those face-splitting smiles after the annoyed bartender handed us our non-alcoholic drinks.
Had I wandered into a horror movie?
“I like my wives to be pure when entering into a marriage,” he continued.
I almost choked on my orange juice. “I’m sorry, did you say ‘wives’?”
Another face-splitting smile.
My eye twitched.
“Tosha said you were looking to find someone to court,” he explained.
No, but clearly I need to find some new friends.
I pushed my orange juice to the side. “I think there has been a severe miscommunication.”
“Oh no.” He grabbed my hand. “You would be my first wife. We would be legally married. I think we are very compatible. And we still have some varying interests, enough to keep things exciting.”
“We don’t even know each other,” I said, extracting my hand.
“You like orange juice, and I like apple.” Another creepy smile. “We can go to Las Vegas next month and get married.”
“Karlie is tired of weddings,” someone said in a dangerously low masculine voice. Liam, half-shrouded in shadow, loomed behind me.
“Now wait a doggone minute.” Mikhal jumped off his stool.
“Can you put his apple juice in a to-go cup?” Liam asked the bartender. “With a lid?”
“I’ll fight for your honor, Karlie,” Mikhal said, putting up his fists.
Liam handed him his apple juice then snarled, “Get lost.”
He watched my former date scurry away.
“Are you stalking me?”
“Scotch double,” Liam said to the bartender, “and she would like a gin and tonic.”
“It was a mutual decision,” I said, annoyed. “And you know what? We weren’t even dating in the first place.”
“She clearly saw right through his bullshit.” A smile played around Beck’s mouth. “You’re losing your touch there, Liam.”
“Get out of my sight,” Greg barked.
My brothers and I looked at one another.
“All of you.”
My phone went off as we grabbed our bags.
Joseph: Crazy wedding.
A smile spread slowly across my face.
Liam: Might have taken it a bit too far with the pizza.
Joseph: I can tell you’re COO material because only a top-notch COO has that kind of foresight.
Liam: Glad someone thinks so. My brother just threw me out of his office.
Joseph: He doesn’t appreciate pizza?
Liam: He doesn’t appreciate anything.
Liam: If you would like to hear more of my brilliance and eat pizza, you should stop by the Platinum Provisions office. I’m always around.
I held my breath.
The text message app showed Joseph was typing.
Joseph: Actually, I think I will. My mom’s driving me crazy. She’s been on the phone all day gossiping about the wedding and then keeps interrupting me while I’m trying to work to give me the play-by-play of the conversation she just had.
“Actually, Greg,” I said, swinging back inside the room, “I think you owe me a heartfelt apology.”
A box of supreme pizza awaited me in my office when Joseph arrived.
“Man, the wedding food was good, but I’ve been craving this all day,” he admitted, grabbing a slice and taking a bite. Away from the pressure of a crowded social event, he was a lot more relaxed.
“You can’t find good pizza in California. Believe me, I have tried every single place. I have a spreadsheet.”
“Nothing like a good spreadsheet.”
We sat on the couch in my office.
“Is it weird being back in New York?” I asked Joseph.
“My mom is weird.” He took another slice of pizza. “She threatened to fly out to California and surprise me if I didn’t come into town.” Joseph shuddered.
I handed him some garlic sauce.
“She keeps trying to get me to date.” Joseph looked at me. “She said Karlie broke up with you because of the pizza?”
Possessiveness rose inside me.
Cool it. If it gets you his company, so what if Joseph dates Karlie?
But I could not let that happen.
“She wasn’t pleased,” I said, forcing myself to sound casual, “but I’m sure I can bring her around. Why?” I added carefully. “Your mom wants you to take her?”
“Dang,” Joseph said, reaching for the red pepper flakes and another slice. “You Svenssons really are nuts. No, I’m not going to date Karlie. I—” He paused then said, “I’m focused on my work.”
“I see.”
“Karlie’s cool, though; she’s pretty normal.” He turned his gaze on me. “You seem pretty normal, too, except for the pizza. Such a badass thing to do.”
“I did ruin your friend’s wedding,” I said, hoping I sounded sorry.
Joseph released a hollow laugh. “Bently was so mean to me when we were kids. We went to the same school, and she would spread all these rumors about people. She loved to turn people against each other. She’s going to be out for blood after this. I hope Karlie watches her back. She might have to move.”
Fuck.
I hadn’t wanted to make things worse for Karlie, just show her that someone was finally willing to step up for her.
“Hopefully the next wedding event won’t be as crazy,” Joseph said, wiping his hands on a napkin. “At least I’ll see you there, though.” He gave me a questioning look.
“Absolutely,” I promised.
And that meant I definitely needed Karlie back on Team Liam.
19
Karlie
I was on day two of my wallow. I lay back on the bed holding my tablet and scrolling through the Netflix app, wondering which Julia Roberts movie I should rewatch.
Mystic Pizza, My Best Friend’s Wedding, or Pretty Woman, even though I just got done watching it?
I threw the tablet on the bedspread. Liam was nothing like Richard Gere. Richard Gere would not have embarrassed me at the most important wedding ever.
I rolled over and tucked the covers under my chin, replaying the moment when the pizza delivery boy showed up.
In hindsight, it had been gratifying to see Bently’s perfect wedding get interrupted like that. Especially after she had been so horrible to me all afternoon.
Not just the afternoon—your whole life.
Though I knew it was wrong to have Bently’s big day ruined, part of me was secretly thrilled that Liam had done it and that he’d said he did it for me. Me!
He said he cares about you.
But still. He ruined someone’s wedding.
“Oh my god.” Roberta flung the door to my room open. “You have got to see this.” She stomped over to the bed and started dragging me out from under the covers.
“I hate Bently. I don’t want to see anything related to her,” I protested.
“If I have to see it, you have to too,” my twin insisted.
“Boo!” Gran yelled at the TV when I padded into the living room.
“I cannot believe her,” Tosha exclaimed, accepting the martini Gran handed her.
“Did her parents hire a PR firm?” my mom wondered as she sipped her martini.
“Karlie, sweetheart,” she said when she saw me. “You haven’t eaten anything all day. Here’s a martini.”
I accepted the glass and ate one of the olives as we watched the entertainment newscast.
A bubbly reporter flipped her hair. “And now for the story everyone’s talking about—a high-society socialite, Bently Raymond, who was married this Saturday, received an early wedding present.”
The TV cut to a cell phone video of Liam passing out pizza.
“During the long wedding, the bride, with the help of one handsome Svensson brother, surprised all her guests with pizza.”
The program cut to an interview of Bently in front of her mom’s house.
“You just want your wedding to be unique and for everyone to have a good time,” she gushed with fake enthusiasm. “It was a celebration. Everyone showed their love to me and my husband. We had so many people who wanted to provide their wisdom and good wishes. Of course, when you’re as popular as I am, it can take a while, and why not pizza from the best joint in New York?” She held up a slice.
Tosha ate an olive. “That slimy—”
“Cunt,” Gran interjected.
The newscast cut to the cell phone video. There I was, hobbling over to Liam then yelling at him.
“You look like a troll!” Roberta laughed into her martini.
“Some of the attendees took the wedding a little too seriously.” Bently was back on the screen, laughing. “My advice to brides is to have a good time and don’t sweat the small stuff.”
“Wise words. Congratulations, Bently!”
“Dad said she hired some super-duper PR firm to spin the narrative,” Roberta said as the entertainment show transitioned to an update about the Venetian royals.
“Honestly, Karlie, how could you?” my mother said reproachfully as I stared in shock at the TV. “Now I’m going to have to listen to that woman crow about her wonderful, kind daughter.”
“Too bad you dumped Liam or he could make an Instagram post about how he had to order pizza for a boring wedding,” Tosha said.
Gran threw an olive at me. “How could you lose your hot billionaire? The man ordered pizza in the middle of a wedding torture session. You should have given him a blow job, not dumped him.”
My mother clucked her tongue disapprovingly. “Karlie, you can’t be so picky. You’re never going to find anyone as good as Liam. Such a waste of a good man. Roberta should have Liam. Or Tosha. Why he’s with Karlie, lord knows.”
Gran harrumphed. “Don’t let them get you down. You’re like me. You put out. That’s why he likes you. Send him a little sampler of the goods and he’ll come crawling right back.”
“He needs to come crawling to Roberta.” My mom hiccupped and poured herself another drink.
“Mom,” I said.
“What, sweetheart? Liam’s rich and out of your league. Roberta is more his style.”
“I’m engaged.” My twin held up her left hand.
“No shame in upgrading. I’m sure your father won’t mind if we lose the wedding deposit payments.”
The doorbell rang.
“Speaking of the lying, cheating scum,” Gran said loudly.
“Marcus!” Roberta said happily as my ex walked in.
“Heard about your breakup, Karlie,” he said. Marcus looked... relieved?
You’re reading too much into it. Besides, do you really care?
Before Liam, I had spent an embarrassing amount of time pouring over the scrapbook I had made about Marcus. But lately I had spent more time wondering which cupcake to send to Liam.
Roberta must have seen something, too, because she immediately started making out with Marcus.
I hurried to my room. Tosha grabbed another martini and followed me.
“I’m not going to be much fun,” I told her.
She opened my dresser drawer and pulled out a bag of cheddar popcorn.
“It’s better than being at home with my mom or listening to Roberta and Marcus be all lovey-dovey.” She tossed a few pieces of popcorn in her mouth.
I flopped back on my bed. I was now officially worse off than before I met Liam. Bently was back on top as Queen Bee, my twin was still engaged to Marcus, and I was single and living in my childhood bedroom.
I grabbed the popcorn bag from Tosha.
“I’m sorry about your breakup,” she said sympathetically.
“It wasn’t—” I was going to say it wasn’t real. But if it wasn’t real, why had Liam wanted so badly to defend me?
“It’s fine. He was...” I groped for the words.
Caring? Handsome? The best man you’ve ever been with?
What about Marcus?
Liam wasn’t Marcus.
“Liam was amazing,” I said in a small voice.
Tosha wrapped me in a hug. “Sounds like it’s not fine.”
“Do you think I could convince him to come back?” I worried.
“Text him,” Tosha urged.
Karlie: Just wanted to see if you wanted to grab pizza.
“Ugh, why did I write that? I probably should have just sent him a topless photo. Wait, that’s not a good idea. God, I need to not send text messages drunk.”
“Your message has been sent!” the phone’s voice assistant said in a robotic tone.
“What! No, no!” I tapped at the phone. “Come back, come back.” I let out a primal yell.
“Oh my god.” Tosha took the phone from me.
I downed the rest of my martini. “I’m going to die old and alone.”
“You have to get back out there,” Tosha coaxed.
“I can’t be trusted in public. Or around men. Especially not attractive ones.”
“I have a friend who’s been looking,” Tosha said. “He’s in town this week. Why don’t you guys meet for lunch? No pressure. It will help you get back out there and forget all about Liam.”
But could I ever really forget him?
20
Liam
“You can’t tell me this is not an attractive package.”
“You are trying my patience,” Greg said in a clipped tone as he read through the proposal I had put together for buying Joseph’s company.
“For someone in here asking for a hundred and twenty million dollars, you seem to have an outsized sense of self-importance.”
“I’m not sure this package is going to do any good once he finds out that his best friend dumped you,” Beck said.
Greg scowled. “This whole thing is a mess. Your whole inane plan hinges on Karlie taking you back. As if she’s going to forgive you for ruining her friend’s wedding.”
“It was a pizza gift,” I corrected. “And unlike you, I am able to put together an apology. I bit the bullet, called a PR firm, and asked them to get in touch with Bently to change the narrative. It’s all part of my plan to win back Karlie.”
Carl rolled his eyes.
“Pay attention, Carl. The master is at work here. I have a foolproof four-step process to apologizing to a woman. You start off by asking her out for a drink so that you can beg for forgiveness. You show up in slacks, white shirt, no tie, sleeves rolled up. Give her a nice present, flowers—but not roses—and a sincere apology, make sure to list out exactly what you did wrong, look adorable and sexy, and don’t forget to smile. They eat that shit right up.”
Greg shook his head.
“And the award for the person most like our father goes to Liam,” Beck stated.
“What? I’m not anything like Dad.”
“Manipulative, self-absorbed,” Carl listed off.
“I’m doing this for the business. I’m doing this for our sisters, for Svenssons Investment. For Greg!” I walked over to my brother to hug him.
“Do not touch me.”
I jerked my hands away. “Okay, maybe not for Greg.”
Beck grunted and continued to flip through my proposal.
“You know what? Fuck all of you. I am going to put together my apology.”
My florist had the plush bouquet of stargazer lilies ready for me when I arrived.
A text for Karlie came in right after I paid. It was a garbled mess, but I definitely made out “topless photo” and “pizza.”
I refused to acknowledge how happy I was that she still seemed to want me in her life.
You just want to win the company. And, I added because my inner desires were not going down without a fight, you don’t want to be the one getting dumped.
While I walked back to my office, I mentally composed the perfect text and planned our big apology date. Karlie had mentioned pizza. An upscale Italian place was near my office. I would also buy her a nice bracelet.
Liam: While cupcakes are more my style, we should do dinner before dessert.
I thought it was a pretty good text, not too flirty but still playful.
But then Karlie didn’t respond.
Maybe it was too much; maybe she was angry?
Or maybe... I glanced through the window of a small restaurant.
Did she seriously move on already?
21
Karlie
Tosha’s friend was waiting at the bar when I showed up.
At least he’s early.
That was the only thing he had going for him.
“Karlie,” he said, smiling when he saw me. The smile stretched almost halfway around his face, practically to his limp, greasy hairline.
“Hi. Mikhal?”
“The one and only,” he said, taking my hand and practically crushing it.
I did not play that shit with men. I baked. A lot. Men could get the fuck out of here with their toxic masculinity handshakes.
I squeezed Mikhal’s hand right back, pumping it up and down for good measure. I thought I heard something crack.
Mikhal visibly recoiled, and I smirked. Testosterone couldn’t beat hand-whipping cream.
“Do you want a drink?” he asked.
“Sure,” I said, wondering if Tosha would be mad if I pretended my wheelchair-bound grandmother desperately needed me home, even though she was probably online gambling right now.
“I’ll have an apple juice,” he said to the bartender. “And what will you have—water, orange juice, or apple juice?”
My brain screeched to a halt as it tried to compute the question.
“You’re drinking a vodka and apple juice?” I asked in confusion.
“I don’t drink, and I don’t want you to drink either,” he replied.
Um...
“I guess orange juice.”
And I guess I’m hitting the liquor store after this.
“I’m glad you are amenable to practicing our values,” Mikhal said, giving me another of those face-splitting smiles after the annoyed bartender handed us our non-alcoholic drinks.
Had I wandered into a horror movie?
“I like my wives to be pure when entering into a marriage,” he continued.
I almost choked on my orange juice. “I’m sorry, did you say ‘wives’?”
Another face-splitting smile.
My eye twitched.
“Tosha said you were looking to find someone to court,” he explained.
No, but clearly I need to find some new friends.
I pushed my orange juice to the side. “I think there has been a severe miscommunication.”
“Oh no.” He grabbed my hand. “You would be my first wife. We would be legally married. I think we are very compatible. And we still have some varying interests, enough to keep things exciting.”
“We don’t even know each other,” I said, extracting my hand.
“You like orange juice, and I like apple.” Another creepy smile. “We can go to Las Vegas next month and get married.”
“Karlie is tired of weddings,” someone said in a dangerously low masculine voice. Liam, half-shrouded in shadow, loomed behind me.
“Now wait a doggone minute.” Mikhal jumped off his stool.
“Can you put his apple juice in a to-go cup?” Liam asked the bartender. “With a lid?”
“I’ll fight for your honor, Karlie,” Mikhal said, putting up his fists.
Liam handed him his apple juice then snarled, “Get lost.”
He watched my former date scurry away.
“Are you stalking me?”
“Scotch double,” Liam said to the bartender, “and she would like a gin and tonic.”
