The replacement, p.14
The Replacement, page 14
I grab my keys and my coat, and I am out of the door and into my car. I message Lisa as I fly out of the gate and around the corner onto the road.
Has something happened? With Daniel?
I throw my phone onto the dashboard and head for Belinda’s house. It’s seven miles away and I put my foot down, weaving in and out of cars on the dual carriageway. I flick on radio for the news, but it’s just some guy talking about an airport extension. I try to tear my mind away from Jem. It can’t be good news, or it would be on the news straight away. I feel a weight in my chest and realise it is grief.
I don’t know this woman really, but I feel like I am inside her. I have been in her home and seen how she has treated my husband and children. How she has drawn a circle around him I am not allowed to cross into. But I have anyway. And if I feel like this, how do my children feel? I have to get to them.
I narrowly avoid hitting a white transit van as I swerve to take the exit I nearly missed because I am distracted. I concurrently pick up my phone. No reply from Lisa. Once on the country lanes, I speed up – the area is flat, and I scan for vehicles. There are none so I fly round bends and brush the hedges. In the distance is the estate where Belinda lives. I focus on it and block any other thoughts. The kids come first. They always have. Even though, in my desperation, I have risked that, I love them more than anything in the world.
I sometimes have to push it to the back of my mind when they are with Daniel, or I would spend all my time pining for them. When we first split up, I watched other single parents carefully. I didn’t know what to do with myself when my lovely children were with their father half the week. Add the thought of Jem playing mum, and any ambitions of productivity soon disintegrated into my obsession with Jem and Daniel. But when I remember what it ultimately led to, the bitterness and hatred, I choke up.
I am here. I pull up to the house and I know immediately something is wrong. There are usually two cars parked in the small driveway, but today there are none. The house is usually alive with a TV that is on from first thing in a morning until last thing at night. The kitchen light is always on as Belinda likes to give the impression of a complete domestic goddess, installing an expensive Aga in the small kitchen of the semi-detached.
Yet all is in darkness. I park up and hurry towards the door. I listen. Ben said they were getting a puppy. And Pepe must have been there. I knock lightly. No dogs bark. Pepe would have gone crazy. I walk to the bay window and peer through. There is no movement at all, and the lounge is perfectly tidy. No school bags or shoes or anything else to suggest there has been an emergency. I walk around the back. I try the kitchen door, but it is locked.
As I stand on tiptoe in the stony veg patch to look through the high window, I hear a noise behind me and then a man’s voice. It’s Jimmy Lowe, their next-door neighbour.
‘Can I help you? If you’re a journalist…’
I smile. I am family. Ex-family.
‘No. I’m Ben and Angel’s mum. I was just…’
He nods deeply. ‘Oh. Yes. Of course you are. It’s just that I’m used to seeing… anyway. They all left early this morning. Belinda and Tony.’
My chest tightens.
‘Was Daniel with them?’
He steps forward. ‘Yes. And your children. I expect it’s about all that terrible business with that lovely young woman. Very sad.’
I stare at him. ‘Why? Has something else happened?’
His expression changes. His willingness turns to a guarded tone. ‘Isn’t her being missing enough?’
‘You have to understand, I’m worried about my children. If something has happened to Jem, it would affect them.’
He smiles a tight smile. ‘I’m sure they will be fine with Daniel.’
I can see him adding two and two together and coming up with me, not knowing where my own children are and wondering why.
‘Yes. Yes, I’m sure they will. I’ll go over there now. If they come back, please could you tell them I’ve been here?’
His gaze falls to my feet. I’m ankle deep in mud and as I raise my foot to move, there is a deep suction noise.
‘Yes. I’ll tell them.’
He turns and leaves. I scrape my trainers on the grass. They’ve left in both cars. Daniel was with them. I try his phone again, but it goes to voicemail. I leave a message.
‘Dan, what’s happened? Ring me.’
I drive over to The Rosarium. I park up the lane and walk along the front of the road. There are no cars in front of the house. I look up the road. None of the Wade cars are parked up. The house is in darkness. They’re not here either. I feel sick.
Where are they? I check my phone. Lisa has read my message and not responded. Anger bites at me, but I must stay calm. I go back to my car and scroll for news of Jem again. There is nothing new at all. I know how these cases work. Forty-eight hours in is the tipping point. This has been a week now with no developments except Daniel being taken in for questioning.
I can already see new missing person reports of other people who have disappeared into nowhere. Drip-fed by the police looking for any public sightings or discarded clues. But there is a time limit. Eventually, cases are shelved pending further evidence and go cold. That’s when relatives come to people like Lisa. I wonder who Daniel will go to. If he will pursue it to make it look like he cares, when in reality he is entertaining his new interest.
My phone rings and I grab it. It’s Daniel.
‘Oh, Dan. Thank God. I–’
He interrupts. ‘Lauren, listen very carefully. I won’t be bringing Ben and Angel home today. This has gone too far now, and they will be staying with us.’
There is silence. I wait for him to continue, but he doesn’t. Tears come quickly and I speak through them. ‘But why, Dan? Why are you doing this to me? Can I speak to them?’
His calm tone fractures. ‘To you? To you? After what you’ve done?’
I start to ask him what I have done, but I suddenly become aware of where I am. Sitting outside his place spying through the trees. Up to my knees in mud because I was peering through someone’s window. Even though I said things had changed, I am still here doing the same thing.
‘Can I speak to my children, Daniel? Dan?’
He has gone. I start the car and drive slowly home. Whatever has happened, I will find out in good time. In the meantime, I will contact my solicitor and tell him Daniel has broken the family arrangements agreement. And face the consequences of my actions.
I am almost in the driveway before I see them through the blur of tears. Bekah Bradley’s car and two marked police cars parked on the gravel outside the front windows. I almost back out of the drive, but it’s too late. I don’t know what Daniel has told them, but this all seems out of proportion.
I park up and get out of the car. Bekah steps out onto the gravel and stands beside DC Sharples. A uniformed officer approaches me from behind and her gaze is off me for a second. Then she steps forward.
‘Lauren Wade, I have a warrant for the search of your property. I am arresting you for the abduction of Jemima Carter. You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence.’
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
I am in the back of Bekah Bradley’s car. I want to scream that none of this is anything to do with me. I let them into the house and gave PC Roland my spare keys to lock up. I watched as they went upstairs and into my lounge, spreading out to get the job done.
She is concentrating on driving. DC Sharples is looking at his phone. The radio plays ‘Albuquerque’ by Prefab Sprout and his head dips a little on every beat. I am in shock. I feel for my phone and wonder if it’s okay to look at it. I already feel imprisoned in the back of the car.
‘Can I check my messages?’
Bekah nods. ‘Yeah. But we’ll need your phone when we get there.’
DC Sharples chips in. ‘You can either let us look voluntarily or we can get a warrant. Your choice.’
Bekah catches my eye in the mirror. ‘You okay? You look very pale.’
I sigh. We pass through the gates of the station, and I see the gate guards wave at Bekah.
‘I’m worried about my children. Did you see them?’
‘We’ll talk about that later. What’s going to happen now is that we will admit you and you’ll go to a holding cell. Then we’ll ask you some questions.’ I search my memory bank for the amount of time they can hold me without charge. Twenty-four hours. Then ask for an extension. She continues. ‘You can ring your brief and let someone know you are here.’
She pulls into a parking bay. I can let someone know I am here. I think about my family and friends and I have no one. No one at all. I already know Lisa won’t be allowed, and in any case, it wouldn’t be fair to ask. Tim isn’t an option as he made it clear he is very separate from this situation. Dad’s not around, and everyone else I know is connected to Daniel.
I can’t believe this is happening. We walk towards a side gate and DC Sharples scans it open. We are suddenly in a holding area, and Bekah takes us through security. I am patted down and at the other end there is a high desk with a low gap in the middle. I peer through the gap and there is a hive of police activity.
A police officer appears and Bekah fake smiles at him.
‘Joey, this is Lauren Jane Wade. We’ve brought her in on suspicion of the abduction of Jemima Carter. Can you do the necessary, please?’ She hands him a bundle of paper. ‘We’ve done the paperwork in advance.’
She turns to me. ‘Don’t be scared, Lauren. We’ll see you later in the interview room. We should have the report from the search of your house then.’
I manage to speak. My voice comes out thin and watery. ‘I don’t understand why I’m here. I haven’t done anything. I haven’t abducted anyone. And I was with someone when Jem went missing. You can check.’
She stares at me. Hard. She considers me and nods. ‘We will. The thing is, I’ve got a problem here. Over the past week, I’ve spoken to a lot of people and got a lot of information. And you seem to be the common denominator.’ She turns to the side and moves closer. ‘My advice at this point would be to tell the truth. This is very serious, Lauren. We’ll know if you’re lying.’
She walks past me. I smell her perfume. It’s Poison. I hear her heels click down the tiles of the corridor. I wonder if I will lose my job. If I will lose the chance to help people. I know these are distractions to take my mind off all the things that loom large in my past that could punctuate my dislike for my husband’s new girlfriend.
But I didn’t take Jem. And that is the crux of the matter. They can’t prove that I did take her because I did not. DC Sharples is chatting to Joey and then he is gone, and Joey takes my phone and asks me to empty my pockets and take off my jewellery. I watch him put everything into a bag.
‘We’ll need your clothes, love.’ He points at a room to the left. ‘There’s an officer in there and she’ll show you what to do.’ I look at my muddy trainers and wonder how I will explain being in Belinda’s garden. ‘Just sign here.’
I take the pen and sign. He passes me a mobile phone.
‘You can ring your solicitor and one other person.’
I look at him. Suddenly I am tearful.
‘Am I allowed to google him? I don’t know the number.’
He sighs gently. ‘Who is it? I’ll have a look for you. Take a seat. Do you want a brew?’
‘Tea, one with a dash of milk, please. It’s Mark Smithers. Jenner and Co.’
He nods and smiles at me. Another officer takes his place at the gap. Another pair of officers come in and book in someone who has robbed a shop. They sit in a row of seats opposite and stay with him until he is taken away to a room far left. Joey comes back with the tea.
‘Drink this. You look terrible. Here’s your brief’s number.’
I sip the tea and call Mark Smithers. His secretary takes the call and all the details. She tells me he or someone else will be with me as soon as they can. I want to ask when, but I have no baseline for how long this will take. I have no watch or phone and therefore no idea of the time. I have a feeling this is going to be a very long day.
A female officer calls me from the room on the left. Once inside, she hands me a pile of clothes. Some paper-like underwear and a grey tracksuit. Some blue disposable slippers.
‘Just slip those on behind that curtain, please.’ She hands me an opaque plastic sack. ‘Pop your clothes and shoes in there.’ I turn towards the curtain and spot another door. I look back at the officer and she looks away.
I change and hand her the sack. I know the door on the far side of the room leads to the cells. Bile rises in my throat.
‘I haven’t done anything. I haven’t.’
My hands are shaking. Weakness consumes me as she opens the door and gently guides my arm. I know there is no point resisting, but something inside tells me to fight. This is not right. This is not justice.
She leads me to a cell. There are no windows, just a flap in the door. There’s a toilet in the corner and a moulded bench I guess is a bed. This one has no mattress. The officer sees me shiver.
‘It’s just until they call you for questions, love. Try not to get too upset.’
It has the reverse effect, and I am more upset than ever. There is nothing to do here but think about how it has come to this. How my life has descended into sitting in a police cell waiting to be asked questions about something I have no knowledge of. The only good thing about this is that they haven’t found Jem dead.
My imagination ran riot earlier, but Bekah Bradley wouldn’t have arrested me for abduction if Jem was dead. I think about Ben and Angel and tears spill. They don’t deserve this. If this is Daniel’s doing, he’s hurting his own children to get his own way. They would be missing me and asking for me.
My heart thumps hard as the minutes tick by and I imagine the worst scenarios. I shut my eyes and try to breathe evenly and slowly. I could never have imagined how difficult it is not to have a point of time reference. I try to count to sixty and count the minutes on my fingers to distract myself but lose count and lie down. I imagine my mum’s face when she heard about me being arrested, if she were around now. The shame, on top of the shame of splitting from Daniel. Mum was straight down the line until the day she died. The terrible spell is broken as the cell door opens and the female officer stands outside.
‘They’re ready for you now. And your solicitor’s here. I’ll take you to the interview room.’
We retrace our steps to the outer sanctum of the station, and she leads me into a stark, grey room. A man I have never seen before is sitting on the other side of a table. He stands up and holds out his hand. I just stare. He’s about forty-five and looks a lot like my usual brief.
‘I’m Mark’s brother, Sam. He’s on another case and I have precedence here.’ He looks around and sits. I stand. He continues. ‘So, you’ve been arrested for the abduction of Jem Carter. Right?’ I nod as he reads from a sheet. ‘Who is your ex-husband’s partner? And there’s been a search of your property. And car. And you granted access to your phone.’
I sit down. ‘This really has nothing to do with me.’
He is reading. He doesn’t speak for a while. Then he looks up at me.
‘Okay. They’ve completed a search of your property and removed some items.’ I scan my home for anything incriminating. He sighs heavily. ‘There’s some… graffiti?’
I nod. ‘Look, it doesn’t matter what they found. I can explain. But what matters is that I have done nothing to Jem. I was with people when she went missing. And Daniel told me she left a note.’
‘Yes. So I see. And there’s been no ransom. Who were you with?’
‘I phoned my friend Lisa earlier in the day. She works here, at the station. And then Tim. Tim Watson. I was with him all night.’
He writes.
‘Good. Have you got contact details? For Tim Watson? So we can confirm?’
I think. I’ve got his number – oh yes, I’ve got that all right. I retrace my steps at Tim’s apartment. I lower my eyes.
‘It’s a pretty casual relationship. I’ve got his number. It’s in my phone. And his flat is on Tiverton Street in Holmfirth. Number 5.’
He looks up. ‘How long have you known him? Is he a reliable witness?’
I flash back to Tim’s intent stare and his unwavering attention. And his reluctance to commit.
‘About six months. And yes, he will definitely confirm he was with me. He lives at that apartment now. He lived with his mum before that.’
Sam’s eyebrows raise and I can’t tell if the fact that Tim lived with his mum makes things better or worse. I have lost my gut feeling because nothing is how it seems to be. He is writing frantically, then he pauses.
‘Look, we don’t have time to discuss everything, but I’ll get the notes from the questions. Just remember you don’t have to comment if you don’t want to.’ I grimly remember every police drama I have ever watched and the endless ‘no comments’. He leans forward. ‘I believe you when you say you haven’t abducted Jem Carter. I’ll defend you as my client. But you need to tell me the truth because some of this looks tricky.’
My stomach lurches. ‘Tricky?’
‘Yes. They’re saying they have some compelling evidence. I was wondering why they had brought you in when you had witnesses to say you were with them when this lady went missing. But let’s see what they have to say. Just ask me if you are confused about anything.’
I can hardly breathe. What compelling evidence?
‘How can they have compelling evidence if I didn’t do it? I don’t understand.’
He pauses and thinks. ‘They build a case. They use all kinds of evidence to build a picture around the crime scene. They are testing it by asking you questions. If you can disprove the evidence, all well and good. But if not…’
I stare at him. ‘What?’
