Under a falling star, p.15
Under a Falling Star, page 15
“Sorry.”
With sheepish grins, they brushed popcorn off their laps.
The woman’s eyes widened, and she turned more fully in her seat. “Danielle? Is that you?”
Danielle? Austen looked back and forth between the stranger and Dee. She didn’t like the familiarity in the woman’s tone.
“Uh…yes, it’s me. How have you been, Madeline?”
As the first trailer flickered across the movie screen, several people turned toward them. “Shhh.”
“We’ll talk later,” Madeline said.
“Not if I can help it,” Dee muttered, too low for anyone but Austen to hear.
Austen leaned over and whispered, “Who was that?”
“No one.”
“An ex?”
“If you can call it that after just one night.”
So Dee was into one-night stands? One more reason not to get involved with her. Austen wasn’t in the market for short flings; she wanted the kind of lasting love her parents had shared.
Dee pointed at the big screen, where a trailer for a science fiction movie was playing. “That one looks good. Want to go see it with me next weekend?”
A yes already lingered on Austen’s lips, but then she hesitated. They had seen each other every weekend, often on both days, for the last month. Maybe it was time to take a break and give her poor libido a chance to focus on someone else. Someone attainable. Clearly, Dee had redirected her attention already. Or was Madeline someone from her past, before they’d met? She mentally shook her head. It didn’t matter. “I can’t next weekend.”
Dee turned her head and looked at her, even though the movie was now starting to play. “Oh. Hot date?” She sounded casual, but her gaze was intense.
“Kind of. A woman at the gym asked me out.” The guilt Austen felt at saying it took her by surprise. It wasn’t as if they were in a relationship and she was cheating on Dee.
“I see.” Dee picked a piece of popcorn off her sweater and chewed it slowly before saying, “Guess we can go see the movie another time, then.”
Austen tried to make out her features in the near darkness. Was she disappointed about not getting to see the movie, or—?
The man next to Dee turned. “Would you mind? Some of us are trying to watch the movie.”
“Sorry.”
They both fell silent, not pointing out scenes they liked or that made them laugh during the movie, as they usually did.
Austen’s mind was elsewhere anyway. Guess I’m going out on a date after all.
* * *
Austen shot up from her seat as soon as the closing credits began to roll.
Dee raised one brow. Apparently, she wasn’t the only one in a hurry to get out of here, even though she doubted that Austen was trying to avoid a former one-night stand too. As they hurried down the steps of the theater, she risked a quick glance over her shoulder.
Madeline was still in her seat. If Dee was lucky, Madeline hadn’t seen her leave in the almost darkness.
Just when she congratulated herself on escaping unscathed, Austen pulled her to a stop in front of the restrooms. “Be right back. Hold this.” She pressed her purse and her jacket into Dee’s hands and dashed into the ladies’ room.
“Uh…” Dee stared at the purse and the jacket and then back up, but before she could say anything, the door had closed behind Austen.
A line began to form, and Dee stepped out of the way to wait for Austen, keeping an eye on the door to the restroom. Come on, Austen. Hurry up. She craned her head and looked around, hoping Madeline wouldn’t—
Before she had even finished the thought, someone tapped her on the shoulder.
Dee whirled around.
As she had feared, Madeline stood in front of her. “Hi again, stranger. Long time no see.”
Dee nodded. It had been almost a year since she’d been stupid enough to sleep with Madeline. Giving in to the temptation when she knew she had no time for a relationship had been a mistake—one she hadn’t repeated since then.
“You haven’t made it to any of the Women in Business lunches since.” Madeline’s lipsticked lips formed a pout. “Should I take it personally?”
Dee threw a glance toward the door of the ladies’ room. Why the hell did it take Austen so long to pee? “It had nothing to do with you,” she said. “I was busy with work.”
The truth was, she had wanted to avoid Madeline.
“Sure. Work.” Madeline nodded down at the jacket and purse in Dee’s arms, a knowing grin on her face. “Is that what they call it nowadays?”
“She’s just a—” Dee stopped herself. She didn’t owe Madeline an explanation; she didn’t owe her anything. “Listen, Madeline. We had a great time together, but I’m not into relationships. You knew that.”
“For someone who’s not into relationships, you and your friend looked rather cozy.”
Before Dee could think of a reply that would get rid of Madeline without hurting her, the door to the restroom opened and Austen stepped out. “Thanks for waiting. I shouldn’t have drank so mu—” She stopped abruptly when she saw Dee with Madeline.
For a few moments, all three of them just stood there.
Finally, Austen took another step forward and reached out her hand. “Hi, I’m Austen, a friend of Dee’s.”
“Madeline.” She eyed Austen thoroughly while she shook her hand. “Also a friend of Dee’s.”
Their handshake seemed to last forever.
In the past, Dee had never lost her cool around women, maybe because she never cared much what they thought about her, but now she was starting to sweat. She didn’t want Austen to know about the bad choices she’d made in the past. Dee played with the strap of the purse she realized she was still holding. “Oh. Here.”
Austen finally let go as she took her purse and jacket back. “Thanks.”
“Well, I’d better go,” Madeline said. “See you around.”
Dee gave a noncommittal nod but said nothing.
When they left the building and walked toward the car, Dee felt Austen’s gaze on her. She hunched her shoulders. “What?”
“Nothing.”
They got into Austen’s Hyundai. The silence between them continued as they drove toward Dee’s house. Finally, Dee couldn’t take it anymore. “I’m not proud of it, okay? Yes, I slept with her and a handful of other women, but it’s not like I had one-night stands left and right. The few times I did, I always made it very clear beforehand that I don’t have time for relationships and—”
Austen pulled over and shut off the engine. “You don’t owe me an explanation. I’m not judging you.”
She looked at Dee, her gaze open and honest, but Dee still couldn’t help feeling defensive. She sensed that there was more that Austen wasn’t saying. “But?”
Austen turned her head away and examined the steering wheel as if she had never seen it before. “It’s just… You deserve so much more than casual flings that don’t go anywhere.”
“What if that’s all I want?”
Austen peeked at her out of the corner of her eye. “Is it really?”
Something in her tone made Dee swallow. She had a feeling that the answer to Austen’s question was no, but work had been her sole focus for so long that it was hard to imagine any other way of life.
“Forget I asked,” Austen said before Dee could decide on an answer. “Maybe I’m more judgmental than I thought, and God knows I have no right to judge anyone when it comes to relationships.”
Dee frowned at the self-loathing in Austen’s tone. “Why would you say that?”
Austen sighed. “It’s a long story without a happy end, and I don’t want to get into it tonight. Can I have a rain check?”
Dee opened the glove compartment and pulled out the napkin they had shoved in there after eating at a food cart the previous Sunday. She took a pen, scribbled rain check across the napkin, and handed it over.
The sadness on Austen’s face disappeared as she laughed. “Goof.”
A vivid memory of the last time Austen had called her goof flashed through Dee’s mind. Austen had kissed her then, her lips warm and soft and tender. Stop it! Dee slammed the bars down on the memory.
They were friends. Just friends. Next weekend, Austen would go out and possibly kiss someone else, and there was nothing she could do about it.
Chapter 16
At Austen’s suggestion, they met in a cocktail bar—a good place for a first date. If the evening wasn’t progressing so well, they could escape after one drink instead of having to suffer through a long dinner.
Her date, Melissa, was right on time. She was taller than Austen remembered, almost as tall as Dee.
While sipping their first cocktails, they talked about the usual first-date subjects: their jobs, hobbies, tastes in music, food, and movies.
Melissa didn’t like basketball, board games, or chocolate cake. Austen tried not to hold it against her.
“Did you know that this used to be the most dangerous part of the city?” Melissa gestured with her straw.
Austen gazed through the glass door and down the street, filled with bars, an outdoor club, and Chinatown’s gate with the two bronze lions right around the corner. “It was?”
Melissa nodded. “A hundred or so years ago, this part of town was just a bunch of saloons, brothels, gambling parlors, and opium dens.”
Not much different than today, Austen thought with a glance at the party-happy crowd waiting in line in front of the club next door.
“If you weren’t careful, you would wake up after a night of drinking in the hold of a ship destined for the Orient, sold into slavery for a mere fifty bucks.” Melissa took another sip of her cocktail. “I don’t know if it’s true, but legend has it that they were dragged to the waterfront through secret tunnels. They still exist. I took a tour through the tunnels last year.”
“Sounds interesting.” Maybe she and Dee could tour those tunnels one day. The second she had thought it, she mentally shook her head at herself. Why couldn’t she stop thinking about Dee for even one night? She tried to focus on the here and now.
“So you didn’t grow up in Portland, right?”
Austen shook her head. “No. I grew up all over.”
“What do your parents do for a living?” Melissa asked.
Austen let go of her straw. She realized that she should have ordered another drink. The piña colada made her think of the one Dee had made for her at the office Christmas party. “My dad’s retired now, but he used to be a marine.”
Melissa smiled. “Semper fi, hmm?”
“Semper fi,” Austen repeated, already dreading the question she knew was coming.
“And your mother?”
There it was. Austen swallowed. “She died fifteen years ago.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
The conversation ground to a stop. They both stirred their drinks. Finally, Austen asked about Melissa’s family.
As Melissa talked about growing up in Chicago, Austen’s mind started to wander, first to work, then wondering if Dee had gone to see the science fiction movie without her.
She snapped back to the here and now when Melissa paused and gave her an expectant look. “Excuse me?”
“I asked what made you change your mind.”
Austen had totally dropped the ball. “Um, about what?”
“About going out with me. When I first asked you out a few weeks ago, you turned me down pretty fast. I thought you might be straight or seeing someone else already.”
“No,” Austen said. “I’m gay and single.”
“Lucky me.” Melissa smiled. “You never answered my question, though. Why did you agree to go out with me?”
The truth—I wanted to give my libido something to play with so I can get over being attracted to a friend—probably wouldn’t go over too well, so she said, “You caught me at a bad moment, but when I had more time to think about it, I thought it would be nice to go out and meet someone new.”
“To meeting someone new.” Melissa clinked glasses with her.
They each ordered a second cocktail and stayed for another hour before asking for the check.
They didn’t fight over who would get to pay, as she and Dee usually did. Each paid for her own drinks, and then Melissa walked her to the nearby MAX stop. The numbers on the display announced that it would be four minutes until the train arrived.
“So,” Melissa said.
Austen hated that awkward moment at the end of first dates when they had to decide how to say good-bye and whether they wanted to see each other again. Melissa was nice, but Austen had no desire to kiss or date her.
Thankfully, Melissa seemed to feel the same since she just gave Austen a light hug instead of trying for a kiss. “I had a good time tonight.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“But,” they both said at the same time and had to laugh.
Austen gestured at her to go first.
“But I don’t want to be your rebound girlfriend.”
That was the last thing Austen had expected. “Rebound girlfriend? Why would you think that?”
“Come on, Austen! It’s clear as day that you’re not over her.”
“You think I’m still hung up on my ex?” Had she even mentioned her tonight? “I assure you, I’m completely over her.”
“Didn’t sound like it. All you could talk about all evening was her. Dee mixes a better piña colada than the bartender; she—”
“What? You think Dee is my ex?” How on earth had she gotten that impression?
“She isn’t?”
“No! She’s just a friend.”
Melissa smiled. “Sure she is.”
“Really!” Austen wanted to stomp her foot in frustration but realized such a gesture wouldn’t help convince her.
Melissa held up both hands. “Whatever is or isn’t going on between you, it’s none of my business.”
Damn right, Austen nearly said but tamped down on such a childish response and instead repeated, “We’re just friends.”
“But you’d like to be more,” Melissa said.
“No. Yes. Maybe.” Austen tore at her hair with both fists. How had they gotten on this topic, in the middle of a busy MAX stop? “It’s complicated.”
“Of course it is. Why don’t you—?”
The light-rail train slid to a stop at the station.
Saved by the train. She wasn’t ready to talk about it. “I have to go. See you at the gym.”
Melissa nodded and waved.
Austen got on the train, dropped onto an empty seat, and leaned her forehead against the cool glass. Okay, maybe it’s more than just attraction, she finally had to admit to herself. She might actually be a bit infatuated with Dee. Who could blame her? Not only was Dee a good-looking woman, but she also provided just the right mix of challenging her and supporting her.
But even if Dee felt the same, one of them would have to give up her job, and it certainly wouldn’t be married-to-her-job workaholic Dee. Austen had promised herself not to ever uproot her life for a woman again, and now she’d stick to her guns. Being friends with Dee would have to be enough.
* * *
When Dee put the first handful of popcorn into her mouth, she nearly spat it back out. What the…? It was sweet, not salty. Apparently, she had been on autopilot when she’d ordered the popcorn and requested it the way Austen preferred it. Frowning, she put the paper bucket down on the floor and focused on the big screen.
They had been showing commercials and movie previews for what seemed like an eternity. She glanced at her watch in the dim light. Seven thirty.
I wonder what Austen is doing right now. Was she having fun with that woman from the gym, or would she try to cut the evening short? What were they doing? Dinner? Drinks? Maybe a movie too? Or had they gone dancing? The thought of Austen slow dancing with some stranger made her wish the movie theater sold something stronger than the Coke in the cup holder next to her.
Would you quit thinking about her? She took a swig of her soda and tried to muster some interest in the sci-fi movie that was now starting to play.
The person next to her decided that this would be the perfect time to strike up a conversation with his seat mate.
Dee growled and sent them a deathly glare, but they just wouldn’t stop discussing the movie’s opening scene. Okay, admittedly, she sometimes talked to Austen during a movie too, but today her fellow moviegoers were getting on her nerves.
Or maybe it was the movie that failed to capture her interest. It was by far the worst movie she had seen in some time, and without Austen there, she couldn’t even keep herself entertained by making fun of it.
Not even twenty minutes into the movie, she gave up and squeezed past the grumbling people in her row. Light drizzle greeted her as she left the movie theater and headed back to her car.
Now what? She looked around.
The office wasn’t far from here. Should she drive over and get some work done? But then she remembered that, in an attempt to prove to herself that she could have a social life without Austen, she’d left the key card to get into the office at home so she wouldn’t be tempted to check into work instead of seeing a movie.
What else could she do? Maybe go to a club? She rejected the thought as soon as she’d had it. She wasn’t in the mood to socialize, and chatting up a stranger seemed like a waste of time and energy.
Finally, she got into the car and drove home.
She ordered Chinese and opened a bottle of red wine, but even that familiar ritual didn’t help. She felt strangely unsettled tonight. What the hell is wrong with you? Maybe she was having an early midlife crisis.
She closed the container of only half-eaten Kung Pao chicken and got up, stumbling over the moving box serving as her coffee table.
Damn. She hopped around on one foot until the pain in her toe subsided and then glared at the moving boxes still lying around in her living room. Austen was right. She hadn’t gotten much done in the year she had lived here. Well, she rarely spent any time at home and never had guests over—at least that was the way it had been before she’d met Austen. How had her life, which had consisted just of work, changed so fast and without her even noticing?
