A lovely lie, p.19
A Lovely Lie, page 19
She stands in front of me, the menacing moonlight making her face gray, and continues her charade.
“I mean, she had what was coming to her. She stole your boyfriend. Mine too. I didn’t even realize what was going on with her and Vince, right behind my back. And Julian, that rapist, was probably out here getting high like he always did. Possibly creeping on a girl he was hoping to find alone. All I know is that we can’t be involved. Think about it. Do you really want to have to delay college for a murder investigation?”
“It was an accident,” I say softly. “It was just an accident.” Now, I’m saying it to convince myself, fighting my knowledge of what I saw against this is the story like a heavyweight match. Pepper has a way of making me believe what she wants me to believe, and I’m KO’d in an instant.
“I’m not sure that’s how other people will see it,” she says. “I mean, think about how it will look. Not just for me, but all of us are involved. Chris hooked up with you and then went right for Chloe. What if people think you were jealous? Do you really want to throw your life away? Trust me, it’s easier this way. Let’s just go back and get your car. We’ll never mention this again. Deal?”
She says it like a used car salesman. Deal. That’s it. Handshake and a note on a cocktail napkin. “How are we supposed to explain my neck? And your arm?”
She shrugs. “We were drunk and fell. Wouldn’t be the first time.”
I look back at the destroyed car, my heart not matching what comes out of my mouth—it’s not enough to explain my feelings. “Oh my God. I can’t believe this.” It sounds blunt and dry, not awake and liquid, like how I really feel. I can barely keep my head above the ocean of lies I’m submerged in, and I just know I’m going to drown.
Pepper faces me and shakes me, despite the pain in her arm, and despite the fact that she knows by now she’s causing pain to her best friend’s neck. “You need to look at me. Focus. You need to listen. I need you to repeat what happened. What’s the story?”
This is the story. I repeat everything she just told me. “No one is going to believe us, though.” I turn to look at the crash again but close my eyes immediately. I can’t bear further witness to the mess that I’m involved in. “I don’t even know who you are right now. Making me lie about this. Our DNA is going to be all over her. In the car too.”
Truth is, I don’t even know who I am right now. Why am I going along with her? Why? Because I’m Scarlett Kane, and that’s just what I do—whatever Pepper Wilson says.
“Come on. You’re just in shock. And we’ve been in her car a hundred times, she even drove us after graduation yesterday. It’s not like she cleaned the car. You see what a pig she is—old McDonald’s bags? Gross. And we were all hugging earlier. If a stray hair is on her, no one will care. Our prints are all over the car, along with half the high school. No one is going to look. It looks like a drunk driving accident.”
My face is blank. Complete and utter shock at the train of thought that’s going into this deception.
“You seem to be forgetting what happened to me tonight. Julian deserved to die. You know what that fucker did to me!” The tears she cries seem real this time, but she composes herself quickly again. “Are you sure nothing fell out of your bag? You have everything, right? Nothing can tie you to that car?”
I look in my bag on demand. Cell phone, keys, cigarettes, wallet, lighter, sunglasses, ChapStick, leftover ride tickets. “Everything’s here,” I whisper.
“Good. Let’s go. We were never here. Do you understand? We were never here. We can’t ever talk about this again. I mean, you have to promise me.” Tears well in her eyes again. “Promise you’ll keep this secret forever!”
“I will.” Why? Why, why, why, why, why? I ask myself a million times. “But what about them?”
“Someone will report them missing. Some idiot will be jogging or walking their dog in the park tomorrow morning and see it. Either way, it won’t be a long search, we’re only a few miles from the fair. Everyone saw them both there. But you and I—we have to go, and we have to go now.”
INTERVIEW THE DAY AFTER THE SENIOR PICNIC
Detective Logan: Are you sure you have nothing else to say?
Scarlett: Nope. That’s about it. Good luck with everything.
Detective Logan: I’m sorry about your friend.
Scarlett: Thank you. Hopefully she didn’t suffer.
38
SCARLETT
The whole scenario comes crashing back.
Wait, bad choice of words.
If what Zoey just said is true, then I was right back then—not only was it murder, it was cold-blooded murder, and why? Because Julian dumped Pepper? He didn’t deserve to die for that. She aimed that car at him—most of the night is fuzzy, but I remember that—no matter how she tried and tried to convince me otherwise. And poor Chloe ended up dead for no reason. She never saw college, marriage, career, kids, grandkids—all because she was in a relationship with someone Pepper claimed to hate.
Chloe had won. She beat Pepper and paid the ultimate price.
Worse—I was there. I lied to the cops, because Pepper told me Julian assaulted her; that she saw red when she saw him at the park entrance and needed to get her revenge. Only none of it was true. She knew he’d be there the whole time. She marked Chloe’s car with the busted headlight, so she knew who to stop on the dark road.
Isn’t that called premeditated murder?
The memories wash over me like a tornado, destroying everything in its path—my confidence, my self-worth, everything. The last twenty-two years, I’ve carried the guilt over the lies, but I had convinced myself I did it to protect Pepper. My poor, pregnant, violated friend.
That bitch.
But now, here we are. I’m sitting in my kitchen with the daughter of my dead-but-resurrected former best friend, who is vulnerable and pregnant. I can’t fight the urge that things need to be done differently this time. While I’ll make sure Pepper pays for what she did, right now my concern is for the young girl before me. I won’t tell her exactly how wretched her mother is—it’s not fair. A minute ago, I was ready to tell her everything, but now, I have to change course.
“Your mother lied to me about Julian. She never showed interest in him. It’s a shock to hear they were together. Let alone for him to be your father.”
She frowns. “You just said it wasn’t an accident. What happened that night?”
Shit. Of course she hasn’t forgotten. It’s half her reason for being here the last forty-eight hours. Her eyes are teary, hopeful. But this isn’t my story to tell. Hell, I don’t even think I know the real story. All this time, burying the secret for Pepper’s benefit. I didn’t tell Zoey even when I thought Pepper was dead. What kind of hold does this woman have on me? Still?
“Can you call your mother? See if she’ll come over? To be quite honest, Zoey, I feel like she owes me an explanation too. I was also lied to. Maybe we should see what else she has to say.”
The look she gives me this time is something I haven’t seen from her since we met. It’s solidarity. She nods her head slightly, and there’s a small smile as she pulls her phone from her bag. I chew on my nails as I watch her swipe and connect the call. Pepper answers—I hear her voice on the line, but Zoey presses the phone hard to her ear as she talks so I hear nothing except for her side.
“It’s me . . . At Scarlett’s . . . Yes . . . I—we—we need to talk to you about something . . . Let me finish . . . I told her about Julian being my father . . . I don’t care . . . Yeah, well, she said something disturbing that I think you need to explain . . . Why, though? . . . I don’t care . . . No. You come here. It’s just the two of us . . .”
It’s quiet on Zoey’s end for a few seconds when her face goes white and her eyes divert. My heart turns into ice because I know what Pepper just said to her. I know it in my bones, the way I know I love Luke. Pepper is with Vince.
Zoey continues. “You’re a piece of work. Just leave . . . Honestly, Mom, if you’re not here in twenty minutes, I’m dead to you. Just like my father.”
Zoey disconnects the call, and I don’t hate her anymore. In fact, I kind of like her. Still, the lump in my throat is there, the one that developed the second Vince walked out after getting that text an hour ago. The one he didn’t let me see. The one I knew was Pepper.
“She’s with Vince, isn’t she?” I ask.
Zoey doesn’t hesitate. “Yes, she is,” she says with conviction. “I’m sorry. God, she always does this. She loves taking what belongs to someone else. She’s so fucking insecure. She never got what she wanted—first Julian, I guess then Vince, even her acting career is bullshit. She has no morals. None.”
No shit, huh? My fists clench so hard I know I must be drawing blood. I blow out a breath of air, pour more wine. Sit back down. Take gulps. “Oh well. What am I going to do?” I say, dejected, accepting my loss. “I guess he never really loved me. He never got over your mother.”
“That can’t be true,” Zoey says, but I’m already waving my hand in her face, showing her not to bother with the lies to try to make me feel better. “If he didn’t love you, he wouldn’t be here after this long.”
It takes all my strength not to laugh hysterically. After this long, he’s not here because he loves me. He’s here to fulfill some fatherly obligation. I know our marriage will be over after Luke graduates, and I’m convinced Vince believes the same thing. At this point, I honestly don’t know how I can fake the next five months.
I’ll do it, though. I’ll do it for Luke.
“Vince has always had one foot out the door. There was another one. Her name was Lila. It was a decade ago.” I sound weak, stupid. A doormat. “God, I should’ve divorced him then. I had proof. It was an easy out.”
Why am I telling this to Zoey?
Why? Because I have to get it out. All the excuses I made to my friends, and to my sister Hannah, when I called them crying. We have to stay together for Luke. He said he’s ending it with Lila. What a punching bag I must’ve sounded like. Of course, Pepper groomed me to be that way—to take shit from people who tell me they love me, even if their actions say otherwise.
I’ll never regret Vince because I have Luke, but if I had any kind of spine and left him after Lila, maybe I’d be in a different loving relationship right now. Maybe even married to someone else. My relationship, my marriage, has never been filled with warmth or the kind of love you read about. The only time I’ve felt real love in seventeen years is every time I look at Luke.
Plus, the more I think about it, the more I have to admit—I don’t think Lila was the only one. And none of us will ever compare to Pepper. And now she’s back.
VOICEMAILS FROM SCARLETT TO PEPPER THE DAY AFTER THE SENIOR PICNIC
Scarlett: Hey, it’s me. Did you know the cops want to talk to everyone? Call me back.
Scarlett: Where are you? My mom is bringing me down now. Call me back.
Scarlett: I said everything you wanted me to say. I don’t think I messed up, but the guy kept asking about my neck and the end of the night. He was acting like he knew something was fucked. Call me back.
Scarlett: Where are you? Have you gone in yet? I need to know what you said. Call me back.
39
PEPPER
“Shit.”
Now it’s time to panic. I can’t believe Zoey told Scarlett of all people about Julian. Since when the hell are they BFFs? I’m going to have to explain what happened. To everyone. I throw the phone down on the bed. Vince was right, I shouldn’t have answered. We were about to start something, and I wouldn’t have had any regrets. He’s oblivious to my distress as he comes close again, trying to reignite the spark.
I texted him as soon as Zoey left. I know it’s selfish, but whatever. Admittedly, part of what’s happening now is jealousy. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that Scarlett is married to him. It’s not fair. He was always mine. Not hers.
“That was Zoey,” I say to him. “She’s with your wife.”
I say that in lieu of saying her name. Not that the words your wife roll off my tongue any easier.
Vince’s face falls. “What is she doing with her?” He opens the minibar and takes out, well, everything. He unscrews a cap on the small whiskey bottle and downs it.
“Zoey and I had an argument before she left. She—God, Vince, this is so hard.”
I sit on the bed, and he sits next to me and takes my hand.
“What?”
My eyes tear. “I told her about her father, and she just told Scarlett. We have to go to your house. Now. Things are—complicated.”
His face hardens, and he gulps, making his Adam’s apple visible. I always loved that about him. “And? Who is it?”
I have to tell him now. I can’t dump this all on him in front of Scarlett, especially since I lied to her. To him, too. Shit. He’s going to kill me. I have to sell this the best way I know how. Channel it, Pepper. Make him believe your lies. Aaaaaaaand action!
“Vince, I know this is going to be hard for you. Not just because of the teenage cheating, but because of who I was doing it with.”
“I’m listening.”
I take a deep breath. “It was Julian.” It comes out barely above a whisper. “Julian is Zoey’s father.”
His eyebrows dent, confused. “What? How? You told me he almost raped you.” Then his eyes go wide. “Oh God, Pepper. Did he? Is that what this is? Is Zoey because of—of that?”
His voice is loud, and I’m afraid if someone is passing in the hallway, they’ll hear him. I wave a hand at him and shush him, indicating to keep his voice down. Even though what I say next is going to kill him.
“No.” My voice is still low. “No, that’s not what happened. I had a lot of secrets back then.”
“Secrets? What secrets?”
It’s time, and I turn to face the wall, because I’m a coward and I can’t even look at him. I can’t even act my way out of what I’m about to say. “Julian. And me. It was going on for a while.”
Vince drops my hand, stands up, and walks across the room, back to the minibar, where he makes another small bottle of whiskey go bye-bye. His breathing is harder and faster. He’s alternating between clenching his fists and letting them out to rub his hands over each other, reminding me of a petulant child who was told they have to turn off the cartoons. His cheeks are red and puffy, like he’s holding his breath. I know he’s about to blow. Some things never change.
“You were screwing that asshole behind my back? I can’t believe you, Pepper.” He’s angry. Pacing. “What was the fucking point of calling me that night and saying he tried to rape you?”
I needed that favor, that’s why. And I knew it would make him mad. I wanted attention after Julian dumped me. It’s not like anyone could’ve asked Julian to prove he didn’t try to rape me. He was dead.
I knew Vince would never break my trust, either. Even though it was all a lovely lie.
“I was scared after the car accident, Vince.”
“Why did you even tell me about that either? I don’t understand what the point of any of this is.”
I lower my head. “I thought I loved him. I was a kid. You were the one I loved. I was just confused.”
“Did he assault you? Answer me.”
“No, he didn’t. I was upset, and I wanted you to hate him even more. So, I lied.”
He bangs his fist on the desk. “God damn it, Pepper! Do you know what you’ve done?”
Vince still thinks that Chloe was drunk and hit Julian by accident. He lied to the cops to protect me, because I asked him not to mention I was there, at the site of the accident.
To protect himself for being there, after.
His face is white as a ghost and his hands are trembling. Then he looks at his hands. First the back, then he flips his palms up, and then back down again. He never takes his eyes off his hands.
“Your plan worked. I hated him even more. I wish you hadn’t called me that night about your keys. You have no idea how much damage you’ve caused.” Now he’s unscrewing a small bottle of vodka. Apparently, he’s finished the whiskey.
I don’t want him blaming me for any of this. I want him to see it as I did—that he saved me. So, I get up and go to him and lean into his chest. At first, he’s rigid, but then he exhales and wraps his arms around me. Tightly. There’s something more behind it—maybe it’s our shared misfortune. But it feels good, and I feel like a teenager again. When Vince was mine.
Vince is mine.
I tilt my head and our eyes lock. I can feel his slight hesitation, and it’s like a slap across my face. He’s married to Scarlett.
“I’m sorry, Vince. I’m sorry I cheated on you. I’m sorry for everything. I wish we could just go back to when we were us.”
His fingers are interlocked with each other at the small of my back, like he used to hold me back then. “Why didn’t you ever reach out to me? How could you just leave without a trace, babe?” Now he looks embarrassed and flushes. “I mean . . . I don’t know why I called you that.”
I smile. “You always called me that. And I couldn’t. I had Zoey, and then . . . I didn’t want to burden you. You were better off without me, and I wanted you to have the life you deserved. But I did still love you. I do still love you. I never should’ve taken up with Julian.”
He stiffens against me at the mention of Julian’s name.
“We have to go,” I say, thinking of Zoey. “I have to be honest with Scarlett about what happened. With Zoey. And with you. Give me your keys, you’ve had too much to drink.”
He nods, pauses. He’s staring. I look at his lips. He moves closer and kisses me again. Harder. More passionate. His hands are everywhere.
It’s just a love scene. You know what to do.
I mean, who wastes a hotel room?
CONVERSATION BETWEEN PEPPER AND VINCE THE NIGHT OF THE SENIOR PICNIC
Vince: Hi, babe.
