Love changes everything, p.25
Love Changes Everything, page 25
They were home when she arrived, and after kissing them both, she started dinner. At six, they all walked across the yard to Doug’s, and Sam turned on the grill while they carried all the food inside. Charlie emerged with plates and a pitcher of tea, and then Doug came out and went to work. He told her about his most recent meeting, and the journal articles she should read, and the plans the medical school was making for training students to treat opioid-addicted patients. The boys joined in, and Sam found it interesting that Charlie knew so much medicine, yet wanted to be the next Alex Trebek. Danny was so far ahead of the game Sam knew he’d do well. Like her, he worked in the ER, in the same job she’d had when she was his age. Danny had been there since the day he turned sixteen.
The boys cleared the table and began throwing a Frisbee while Sam and Doug talked. “I didn’t want to ask in front of the boys, but how’d the deposition go?”
She told him about Kirby, and he didn’t seem shocked.
“I think you have unfinished business with her, Sam.”
“Hmm. It’s an interesting thought.”
“Think about it. She’s your gold standard.”
Sam couldn’t help laughing at his ability to cut to the heart of the matter. “It was a long time ago.”
“And think about this. You believe in angels, and fate, and craziness like that. Your mom got sick, and that caused you to lose Kirby. Now your lawyer got sick, and it brought you back to her.”
Sam hadn’t thought of that, but it was an interesting observation. Kind of like Tara’s grandmother, the almost-nun.
“If the circumstances were different, if your mom weren’t sick and you weren’t so scared, and vulnerable, and Catholic…you wouldn’t have ended things. Maybe the universe is trying to make things right.”
“I can’t go backward.”
“Who says it would be backward? You’re just meeting her farther along the same road. She’s not the same person she was then, either. You’ve both changed, but truthfully, Sam—how much do any of us change? We might be older and grayer, with more sophisticated palates and polished opinions, but who we are is the same. You clicked with her once, and I’d bet you still do.”
Sam considered what he’d said. Through the years, she’d thought about Kirby from time to time, wondering what she’d done with her life, always feeling guilty about the way things had ended between them. No matter what, Jim was right. She owed her an apology. And maybe they could be friends again.
Sometimes, Sam had trouble remembering what she’d even liked about Kirby, and she sometimes thought she’d imagined it all. Their connection was intangible, which made it so much more difficult to explain, even to herself. If they’d been softball buddies, or lab partners, or something else, Sam could think of that commonality and understand their link. But it wasn’t—it was just a feeling, a joy and understanding, a link to another person that made Sam feel so alive. That Kirby could kiss her and melt her, and take her flying through the stratosphere as they made love—those were just bonuses.
They’d known each other for only a few short weeks. They’d met on a Tuesday, during softball tryouts. Four weeks later, also on a Tuesday, her mom had collapsed. The next day, Sam had ended it with Kirby. Thirty days after Kirby had knocked her off her feet, Sam had said good-bye.
How much could she have really known her in that short time? It was such a tiny stretch of days in the course of her life. Sam had been on the earth nearly six hundred months, and Kirby had walked beside her for just one of them.
Yet it had been one of the best months. Her children were amazing, but with them, she was “Mom.” She couldn’t argue that her best moments as Sam had been in that thirty days with Kirby.
Chapter Twenty-one
I’m too old to play golf in the rain, Sam thought as she pulled her SUV into the parking lot at the club on Friday morning and looked out at the fog-shrouded course. A line of evergreens between fairways was clipped by the mist, and even though the sky was quiet now, the forecast wasn’t promising. As she walked toward the bag drop, she ran into a few people she knew and chatted about the weather, then found her clubs on one of the carts and drove to the practice area.
Protected by a waterproof jacket and pants, Sam started with a few putts, then chipped a dozen balls before pulling out her driver. As she approached the practice tee, she looked up and saw a ball soaring down the range, where it struck the flagpole a hundred yards away.
“Nice shot!” Sam said as she turned to congratulate the golfer who’d hit it.
Kirby. Sam swallowed as her heartbeat pulsed in her throat. “I should have known you’d be here.” Sam spoke her thoughts aloud.
Kirby rested her club in front of her and leaned into it. “Why is that?” She looked so damn sexy, with her hair pulled up and her dark eyes peeking out from under the brim of a baseball cap.
Sam walked slowly toward her, their eyes locked, and she mimicked Kirby’s pose. If she were smart, she’d make a joke right now. Laugh it off. Yet she couldn’t think of a single retort that wouldn’t sound lame. She opted for the truth. “You’ve been on my mind.”
“Yeah,” Kirby said, a soft smile lifting the corners of her sensual mouth.
Sam looked away. “I’ve tried very hard to not think of you for the last half of my lifetime, and now I find it impossible not to.”
“Why do you think that is?”
Once again Sam looked at her. “I think it’s just you, K. I’ve been disciplined in every aspect of my life, except when it came to you. With you, I just threw out the rulebook and let loose.”
Kirby tilted her head. “Was that so bad, Sam?”
Before she could reply, a noise behind Kirby drew their attention. “Mom, are you ready?”
Sam recognized Kyle from his photo even before Kirby made the introduction.
His eyes flew open wide, and Sam had no doubt Kirby had told her son at least a little about their past. His reply confirmed her suspicions. “Oh, so you’re the doctor. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Your mom tells me you’re heading to Penn State in the fall,” Sam told Kyle as a young woman appeared beside him. “What am I missing?” she asked the group.
After introducing her daughter, Kaitlyn, Kirby told them about Charlie’s plans for college. “I’d love to meet him,” Kyle told Sam. “Is he here?”
She grimaced. “No, unfortunately. We still have another week of school, so he’s in class.”
Kyle looked to Kirby. “Can we get together tomorrow, Mom? We don’t have any plans, do we?”
Sam had to manually close her jaw as Kaitlyn added her opinion. “Yeah. That’s a great idea. Maybe we can have breakfast together before we head home.”
In all the times they’d been together, Sam had never seen Kirby speechless, until this moment, when she seemed to choke while formulating a response. Sam was about to rescue her with an excuse when, finally, she uttered a reply. “We’ll talk about it later.”
Ignoring his mother, Kyle turned to Sam. “That’s code for no. It makes her seem more reasonable than an outright refusal would, so you’re going to have to work on her, Dr. Brooks.”
Did Sam want to work on her? Or should she let it go? She had to admit that the idea of seeing Kirby again was appealing. Especially with her kids in tow. That seemed much safer than seeing her alone. “My sons have their first day of work tomorrow, here—at the club pool. They have to be here at eleven. How would nine thirty work? Breakfast at my house?” That would give them an hour to eat and talk before Danny and Charlie left for work. Enough time to get to know each other a little bit, but not so much to make it awkward if they all hated each other. That was hard to imagine, since Kirby’s children seemed so nice.
“Hmm,” Kirby replied.
Sam looked at Kyle. “There’s a pretty cool mountain behind my house, and I hear you like to hike, so maybe that’ll help persuade her.”
“Hmm,” Kirby murmured again. “Go on.”
Sam laughed. “Stookey’s?”
“For breakfast?”
“We’re grown-ups. We can make the rules.”
“Nine thirty, you say?” Kirby asked, and when Sam nodded, she turned to her kids. “Are you sure you want to get up that early? It’s a chance to sleep late.”
“We’ll never sleep late at the hotel. It’ll be too noisy. Let’s do breakfast,” Kaitlyn said.
“Okay.” Kirby finally agreed, but even after all these years, Sam could tell she was hesitant.
“I’m going to hit a few balls, and I’ll see you guys later, okay?” she said, knowing she’d try to catch Kirby after the tournament and give her a chance to back out of the breakfast invitation.
“See ya,” Kaitlyn said.
“Bye,” Kyle chimed in, and Kirby just waved. Sam thought she saw her taking a deep breath first. Or maybe Sam just imagined that’s what she would have done.
Teddy found her a few minutes later as she was walking off the range. “Kirby’s here,” Sam said in greeting.
Teddy squinted at her and screwed up her mouth. “I know. I’m really sorry, Sam. I had no idea. I’ve played in this golf tournament for like twenty frickin’ years, and I swear, she’s never been here before.”
Sam had been pondering the situation while swinging the club, and she remembered Kirby mentioning someone from Wilkes at the law firm whose space she was borrowing. “Maybe she’s playing with someone else. She’s with her kids, but I didn’t ask who her fourth was.”
“Wait…Kirby has kids, too? Is everyone a breeder now?”
“Fortunately, you’re here to represent the holdouts.”
“Yes, thankfully, I am. Are you ready? I think we’re actually going to get this round of golf in.”
Teddy was right. Although the mist barely cleared, the rain held off, and they finished the round. Sam looked for Kirby in the clubhouse and found her chatting with some women Sam recognized but had never formally met. Kirby introduced them, and after a moment, they excused themselves, leaving Sam alone with Kirby.
“How’d you hit ’em?” she asked.
“Okay. How about you?” She sipped from a tall glass of something that looked like Coke.
“Okay. I played with Teddy.”
“I figured you would. I mean, why else would you be supporting Wilkes Athletics?”
“This is actually the first time I’ve played in this tournament. Teddy usually invites people from work, but this year one of them couldn’t play. I was a sub.”
“The ringer?” Kirby grinned.
“Hardly. Teddy says you don’t usually participate. What made you decide to play this year?” Sam was curious about Kirby’s sudden reappearance in Wilkes-Barre.
“Honestly? You.”
“Me? But I told you, I’ve never played before.”
“The first time I got that flyer for the tournament, I saw that Teddy was a sponsor. And that was enough to keep me away,” Kirby explained.
Sam chuckled. “She doesn’t hate you, Kirby.”
“Despise. Is that a better word?”
“I think she was just hurt that you broke up with her, and she didn’t know how to deal with her feelings. But she’s grown up in the past twenty-something years and is an amazing person. I bet she’d love to talk to you and relive some of those old softball memories.”
Kirby rolled her eyes.
“Should I invite her to breakfast?”
“Sam, I’m sorry about that. All I did was mention that I ran into you, and that we dated once, and my kids’ imaginations ran amok. You do not have to cook us breakfast.”
“I’d like to. But you seemed uncomfortable about the idea, so I actually sought you out so I could give you a chance to cancel. You can tell your kids I had a schedule conflict or something.”
“You actually want to cook us breakfast?”
“Well…it’s not you. I kind of like your kids.”
Kirby swallowed a smile as she nodded. “I get that. I’ve been hearing that for twenty years. Somewhere along the line I ceased being Kirby and became their mom.”
Sam felt the same way, but it shocked her to hear that Kirby suffered from a similar identity issue. “I’m really worried about what’ll become of me when my kids leave for college.”
Kirby’s eyes found hers, and her response was a sigh. “I hear you.”
Sam reached across the space between them and held Kirby’s forearm. “We’re tough old girls, K. We’ll figure it out.”
Kirby looked down at her forearm, then to Sam’s hand, and when Sam tried to pull it away, she grabbed it, held onto it.
“Can I have bacon with my pancakes?”
“Do you still eat like a horse?”
“I’m blessed with a great metabolism,” she admitted.
“Lucky you.”
“What are you talking about? You still look great.”
“That’s because I eat rabbit food and exercise, not because of my genetic privilege.”
“Whatever the reasons, they’re working for you.”
Sam felt herself blushing as if this was the first time someone had complimented her. Or was it flirting? Sam didn’t think so. This wasn’t the flirtatious Kirby she’d known, but a more poised, confident—if that was even possible—and mature version of that young woman she’d loved.
Sam swallowed. “So, breakfast?”
“Yes, okay. But please don’t go to any trouble.”
“No worries. Do you remember how to get there?”
She nodded.
“One house past my mom’s old house. It’s a bungalow, gray with stone pillars and a big front porch. Red door. Detached garage on the side.”
“I’ll find it.”
“Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Don’t forget the bacon,” Kirby said with a wink, and Sam walked away smiling.
After dinner, she called her boys, who were heading out for the evening, and then drove in the opposite direction of home as she dialed.
“Hi, Doc. How’s everything?”
“It’s all good, Frankie. How about with you?”
“I’m plannin’ my trip to Vegas, baby. How about you? You gonna come out and cheer on my brother? That’s somethin’, gettin’ an award for cancer research, huh?”
“Indeed it is. He’s a brilliant doctor,” Sam said with pride.
“Well, hey, I’m gonna’ have to catch up with you in Vegas, ’cuz it’s busy as usual on a Friday night. Whattaya need? Coupla pizzas for those strapping young boys?”
“I feel like such a jerk. I guess the only time I call you is when I need a pizza, huh?”
“Ah, but when I call you, you always come through. Who else has their own personal ER doc on speed dial?”
“And the way you and your staff swing kitchen knives, it’s a good thing. You’d be out of business if you claimed all those stitches on your worker’s comp.”
Frankie laughed, but it was true. After Jim’s parents died, staffing the restaurant had been quite a battle, with the workers cycling through every season. The rookies made frequent mistakes with the knives, and Frankie always called her when something happened. She’d usually meet him in the ER and sew everyone back together in exchange for a pizza and a few meatballs or stuffed shells—whatever was on the menu at Francesco’s.
“Yeah, yeah. You sound like my wife. But anyway, I’m gettin’ busy here. Tell me what you need.”
“I think two par-baked pizzas should do it, if it’s not too much trouble.”
“I made meatballs today. I’ll get you some of those, too.”
“See you in half an hour.”
Sam figured the pizza would be a nice gift for Kirby, who’d loved it when Jim had served them all those years ago. Back in town, she stopped at Stookey’s before heading home. “Hi, Lillie,” Sam greeted the teenager behind the counter when she walked in. “I’m just picking up a quart of frozen barbeque.”
Stookey’s had begun packaging their product to go, and Sam figured that would be another special treat for Kirby and her family to take home.
“Don’t make too much of this, Samantha,” she told herself aloud as she climbed back into her car. “It’s just breakfast. With kids. No big deal.”
At home she showered, then retreated to the sunroom with her dog and a book, which she didn’t put down until she heard her sons. They spent ten minutes telling her about the party they’d been at, and then she told them about the breakfast plans.
“Cool,” Charlie replied when he heard about meeting Kirby and her kids. “Maybe we’ll be able to do orientation together or something.”
And even though Danny had no motivation to get up a little early to meet them, he was equally enthusiastic. Sam kissed them both good night, and they promised not to stay up too late. Sure enough, she heard them heading to their rooms just a few minutes later.
It was difficult to clear her mind, and Sam couldn’t help but think of seeing Kirby in the morning. Kirby was the only one who’d ever caused her to lose sleep, and even now, she still could. Sam thought of what she’d wear, and wondered how Kirby would be dressed, and how she’d wear her hair, and if she’d wear that baseball hat again. She always did rock a hat, and Sam smiled just thinking of it. She drifted off to sleep with that image in her mind.
Sam was up at eight and pulled her hair into a messy bun, then slipped on a pair of stretchy jeans and a faded old sweatshirt from Rehoboth Beach. After putting an entire pound of bacon into the pan to fry, she made her coffee and walked to the curb for the newspaper, reading the highlights while the bacon cooked. At nine she woke the boys, and five minutes later she was trying her best not to pace the floors to pass the time. After driving herself mad for another few minutes, she grabbed her book and headed to the front-porch swing, where she mostly gazed into the distance as she wondered if Kirby would show up.
Kirby had her cell-phone number, right? Surely she’d call if her family’s plans had changed, wouldn’t she? She was a class act, not the kind to stand her up, wasn’t she? Sam glanced at her watch. It was twenty after nine. Should she call to confirm the plans?
