Table of Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  CHAPTER 1: GYMNASTICS LOVE

  CHAPTER 2: BEAM BRUISING

  CHAPTER 3: A NIGHTMARE SECRET

  CHAPTER 4: BACK ON THE BEAM

  CHAPTER 5: “GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD!”

  CHAPTER 6: GO TIME

  CHAPTER 7: BEAM DISASTER

  CHAPTER 8: COACH CAN HELP

  CHAPTER 9: HARD WORK, HARD RECOVERY

  CHAPTER 10: BACK TO THE BEAM

  Author Bio

  Illustrator Bio

  Glossary

  Discussion Questions

  Writing Prompts

  Gymnastics Glossary

  Explore More

  Copyright

  Back Cover

  CHAPTER 1

  GYMNASTICS LOVE

  Riverside Gymnastics Center always smelled of rubber and sweat and burnt sugar from the doughnut factory next door. But to twelve-year-old Sofia Martinez, it was the best smell on Earth.

  No matter how late she’d been at the gym the night before, her heart always surged as she entered the vast space filled with beams and bars and ropes and mats. Riverside was her gym, but really, she often thought, it was her home.

  “Sofia, wait!” called Rana, Sofia’s best friend, as she climbed out of her mother’s car and raced up to Sofia. “You think Coach is going to make us do push-ups today?”

  Sofia held the heavy door open for her friend, who wore a purple hijab with her leotard today. Rana had chosen to start wearing a hijab when she turned twelve last month, and now she had a whole collection in all different colors.

  “Ugh, hopefully not,” Sofia replied. “Tia made tamales last night. I had like ten.”

  Sofia was living with her aunt, or tia, this year while her parents were with Doctors without Borders in Yemen. Home felt a little weird without Mom and Dad there, but they’d be back by Christmas—just six months away. And in the meantime, Tia Elizabeth was super nice and a great cook.

  “Girls! Get going on warm-ups, then Sofia, I want to see you on the beam!” Coach Jackson shouted as Sofia and Rana entered the gym. The other members of the Riverside team were already stretching and running sprints.

  Sofia and Rana dropped their bags and hurried to one of the mats to stretch. The eight Riverside gymnasts did their prances, pointing their toes with each step around the edge of the floor mat. Then they went through their planks, crunches, and side planks, designed to build core strength.

  When her warm-up was finished, Sofia headed over to the balance beam. It was her strongest exercise. She liked the vault and the uneven bars fine, and floor was always fun, but the beam was where she felt the most at home.

  Coach Jackson joined her. “Remember, our next meet is with Forest Hills,” the coach said. “Their beam is particularly strong. We took first in uneven bars and beam last year. I want us to have just as strong a showing this year.”

  Sofia nodded. She’d win. She always did. One wall of her bedroom at home was solid blue with the fluttering satin of all her first-place ribbons.

  A couple of other girls lined up to watch as Coach started Sofia’s competition music—the William Tell Overture, which she loved.

  “Now watch, girls!” Coach Jackson called. “I want you to see how Sofia focuses on the setup here. A lot of times we tend to focus on the flip itself. But the setup is just as important for a flip, because there is no time to correct in the air.”

  Sofia took a deep breath and swung onto the beam. The smooth, slightly nubby leather was familiar under her hands. She could feel her core muscles tighten. Her arms and legs balanced. The world looked right from up here. The beam was where she belonged.

  She leapt to her feet, feeling her feet gripping the beam exactly right. Her heels were in the middle, toes to either side, like she was a gecko climbing up a wall. Her feet were sticky pads. They’d never let go of the beam.

  The horns in Sofia’s competition music sounded, and she brought her arms up in opening position. She made sure to keep her chin high, chest out, lower back straight, and legs perfectly poised.

  As the music continued, Sofia pranced forward. Then she bent forward and lowered her hands to grip the beam.

  Taking a deep breath, Sofia swung her pelvis and legs backward into a smooth back walkover. Then another, and another, her body whipping over her head, until she was back where she started.

  “Nice!” Coach Jackson called.

  The horns were picking up speed now. This was Sofia’s favorite part: the layout step-out. It was basically a no-hands flip—a dramatic, difficult showstopper.

  Sofia positioned herself, arms up, gaze straight ahead. She took a deep breath, then she tensed, feeling the power in her muscles. In a single movement, she launched herself off the beam and into the air.

  Sofia’s legs whipped up over her head, the momentum carrying her back down to the beam. Seconds later, her feet smacked onto the beam.

  One more layout step-out, Sofia thought.

  She prepared to launch herself off the beam, just as a loud boom! rang through the gym. Sofia startled. Her foot slipped slightly from its usual spot, pushing off an inch to the right. Her body lurched to regain control.

  Go! she thought in a panic. Just go!

  Sofia launched herself into the flip. Immediately, she knew it had been a mistake. If you started wrong, you could not correct in midair.

  But the flip was happening. She was already in the air, upside down. Her momentum was carrying her up and over, but everything was in the wrong place. She couldn’t sense where her body—or the beam—was in space.

  Instead, she felt the fall.

  CHAPTER 2

  BEAM BRUISING

  Sofia’s body slammed into the beam, headfirst. Her spine rattled, and her head exploded in a burst of pain. She slipped, scrambling for the beam, but couldn’t grab on. A second later, she hit the mats.

  Through the ringing in her ears, Sofia heard her teammates gasp and Rana shout, “Sofia!”

  A moment later, Coach Jackson leaned over her, touching her face. “Don’t move,” the coach said.

  Sofia couldn’t have moved if she’d wanted to. Coach Jackson ran her hands down Sofia’s arms and legs.

  “OK, turn your head back and forth,” she said. “Now move your arms and legs.”

  Sofia groaned at the pain in her head and back. She tried to breathe deeply as Coach and Rana helped her sit up, but then nausea overwhelmed her. Leaning over, she threw up right on the mat.

  “I’m so sorry,” Sofia whispered, tears filling her eyes. “It was my fault. My foot was in the wrong spot.”

  “Yeah, I saw that,” Coach said. “You know you can’t execute a move like that if you don’t start correctly. I’ve taught you that for years.” She leaned over. “Honey, your pupils are different sizes. I think you might have a concussion.”

  Sofia closed her eyes against the blinding headache. “What was that sound?” she managed to ask. “That boom?”

  “Just the door,” Rana said gently. “The wind slammed it closed.”

  Sofia groaned. “It threw me off,” she said.

  She wished she could hide. Coach always made it clear that gymnasts only had themselves to blame if they went into a move without a perfect setup. Sofia had tried ever since she was six not to make a mistake like that. And now she had.

  * * *

  Dr. Berman withdrew the auriscope from Sofia’s ear. “No skull fracture,” she said. She gently moved Sofia’s head back and forth. “And you say you vomited? Can you count backward from twenty by fours?”

  “Twenty, sixteen, twelve, eight, four, zero . . . ,” Sofia counted slowly.

  She wanted to stop shaking but couldn’t. Her head hurt so badly. She glanced at Tia, who was sitting very straight and stiff in the other chair. Tia had rushed to the gym as soon as Coach Jackson had called. She’d insisted that they drive straight to Dr. Berman’s office.

  Dr. Berman started typing on her laptop. “Well, with your pupils different sizes, the direct head hit, and the vomiting, I’d say you gave yourself a pretty good concussion, Sofia,” she said.

  Sofia started crying. She’d never had a concussion before. Sure, she’d had plenty of injuries—bruises, sprained fingers, shin splints. That came with being a gymnast. But she’d never had a head injury.

  “When can I go back to the gym?” she asked. “I can’t take too much time off. I have meets to prepare for. My coach is counting on me!”

  “You need a few weeks off,” Dr. Berman said. “Don’t go near the gym. We’ll do a follow-up visit, and once I clear you, you can start back. But I want you resting in the meantime. Got it?” Dr. Berman paused with her hand on the exam room doorknob.

  Sofia nodded, looking at her lap. She didn’t want to rest. She wanted to travel back in time, before today ever happened.

  CHAPTER 3

  A NIGHTMARE SECRET

  “I brought you gummy bears!” Rana’s voice called from the front of the apartment.

  Sofia quickly hopped down from her bed and started stretching on the floor. A moment later, Rana appeared in the doorway. Tia stood behind her, wearing her scrubs and a smile.

  “I have to go in—the hospital just called,” Tia said. “Don’t overdo it with the exercises!”

  “I won’t,” Sofia promised.

  She pressed her legs into splits on the floor. It was amazing how much stiffer she’d gotten during just two weeks away from the gym. She focused on relaxing her hamstrings while keeping h

er leg muscles loose.

  “Your splits are already better than mine, and I didn’t even try to bust a hole in the beam with my skull,” Rana said. She plopped down on Sofia’s bed and tossed her a packet of gummy bears.

  Sofia focused on the candy. “Mmm, thanks,” she said. She ripped open the bag and bit the head off a red bear. “You’re the best to come over every day like this.”

  A concussion and forced rest hadn’t exactly felt like a vacation. The pain in Sofia’s head had faded, but every time she thought about going back to the gym, she felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

  It was weird. She’d never felt that way after any of her other spills. After those injuries, all she could think about was getting back onto the equipment. She’d shown up every day to stretch with the team. Now she felt like she wanted to hide.

  “I bet you can’t wait to get back to the gym and see everyone else,” Rana said.

  Sofia pressed her face to her knee so she wouldn’t have to look at her friend. Suddenly the image of the beam flying up to meet her, then the impact, slammed into her brain. It was as if it were happening all over again.

  Sofia inhaled sharply. What is wrong with me? she thought. Every time someone brought up her accident—or going back to the gym—this happened. It was like she was reliving her injury all over again.

  “So when are you coming back?” Rana asked. “I hate being there without you.”

  Sofia cleared her throat. “Dr. Berman cleared me this morning,” she finally said.

  “Oh, awesome!” Rana bounced up on the bed. “Have you told Coach?”

  Sofia pretended to be fascinated with her carpet. “Yeah,” she said. “I mean, no. I haven’t told Coach.”

  Silence fell in the room. Sofia finally looked up at Rana. Her friend was giving her a strange look.

  “What’s going on?” Rana asked. “You’re acting weird.”

  Sofia pressed her face back to her knee. She had to get away from Rana’s gaze.

  “I’m fine,” she said. “Just quit asking me so many questions!”

  The last words came out as a shout. Sofia glanced up. Rana’s face grew blotchy, the way it always did when she was fighting back tears.

  Shame welled up in Sofia. Not only was she letting down the team, now she was snapping at her best friend.

  “OK, jeez,” Rana muttered, climbing off the bed and heading for the door. “Forget I asked. Mom’s getting my new leotard today. I’d better go home and try it on.”

  “Send me a picture!” Sofia called after her friend.

  Once she was alone, Sofia curled up on the bed. She pulled her comforter up over her shoulders. She didn’t want anyone—especially Rana—to know how much time she’d spent in this position the past couple of weeks.

  Eventually Sofia drifted off to sleep. Almost immediately, the nightmare started again. She was back in the gym, on the beam. She could feel every detail—the grippy leather, the hard beam, her heart beating so loudly it seemed to fill the entire gym.

  “Go!” Coach Jackson shouted, but her voice was distorted.

  As if she were a puppet, Sofia felt herself whirling on the beam. She could sense what was coming, but she couldn’t stop her body.

  “Stop! Stop!” Sofia cried out to her dream self. But she couldn’t. It was like Coach Jackson was controlling her somehow.

  Then it came—the boom!

  Sofia’s foot slipped, and she was whirling one last time. She knew what was coming—she always did. Her head was going to hit the beam.

  Sofia started awake, gripping her pillow, sweat covering her body. She flung the covers off to get some air and tried to slow her breath.

  She hadn’t told anyone—not Rana, not her coach, not Tia—about the nightmare that had been coming every night since the accident. And no matter what she did, Sofia couldn’t seem to get her fall out of her head.

  CHAPTER 4

  BACK ON THE BEAM

  “Sofia, glad you’re back,” Coach Jackson said a few days later. She glanced up from her clipboard as the other gymnasts crowded around.

  Sofia stood next to Rana, who was wearing her new leotard, which was loose, with long arms and legs, and a matching hijab.

  “You look so pretty,” Sofia whispered to her. Rana rolled her eyes. Sofia could tell she hated having to wear it. But her parents wouldn’t let her compete in a regular one.

  “All recovered?” the coach asked briskly. She glanced at Sofia’s doctor’s note.

  “Yep!” Sofia said, forcing a perkiness she didn’t feel. “Dr. Berman says I’m all clear.”

  Physically, at least, Sofia thought to herself. She wasn’t so sure about mentally. The nightmares had been particularly bad last evening. This morning at breakfast, Tia had asked why she looked so pale.

  I can’t avoid the gym forever, Sofia told herself. Once I get back on the beam, I’ll be fine. I have to be strong.

  “Well, good. We’ve got the meet with Forest Hills on Saturday,” her coach reminded her. “I need you in top form.”

  Sofia’s stomach dropped to her feet. She had forgotten all about the Forest Hills meet—probably because it was no big deal. Or at least, it used to be no big deal.

  She nodded and tried to avoid looking at the beam in the corner of the gym. It was like a monster waiting to swallow her. Nausea rose up in her belly. She imagined her head hitting the wood.

  I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine, Sofia said over and over, trying to convince herself.

  “Once you’re warmed up, get on the uneven bars and let’s see a little workout, OK?” Coach said. Without waiting for an answer, she strode off to where some of the younger girls were trying handstands.

  Sofia picked a spot on the mat and got to work. She tried to ignore the stiffness in her shoulders and hamstrings when she stretched.

  I just need a little workout to loosen me up, she told herself. She went through the warmup, then jogged toward the uneven bars.

  Coach Jackson looked up. “Go ahead!” she called.

  Sofia nodded and took a deep breath. The bars looked so high. They’d never looked that way before.

  Stop being weird, Sofia scolded herself. She dipped her hands in the chalk near the bars. Then she took her spot in front of the lower bar and jumped up to grab it.

  But the moment Sofia’s hands hit the bar, something felt wrong. She wobbled, hoisting herself up, her arms shaking with the effort.

  What if I fall? Sofia thought in a sudden panic.

  It was a thought she’d never had before—not once in six years of training. She let go of the bar and let herself fall back to the mat.

  “What’s wrong, Sofia?” Coach called. “Head feeling OK? You’re not dizzy, are you?”

  “I’m OK!” Sofia called back.

  She hoped the anxiety in her voice wasn’t obvious. She remembered what Coach Jackson had said to one of the other gymnasts when she’d been scared to try a front-handspring entry on the vault: “There’s no room for fear. You have the skills. Now you have to let your body take over. If you’re afraid, you’re not cut out for gymnastics.”

  Sofia swallowed back the sour bile that had risen in her throat at the memory.

  “Well, listen, get on the beam, OK?” Coach called. “Rana’s done.”

  Sofia nodded, not trusting her voice. She turned to face the beam, standing alone on the blue mat. It had always been her friend. But now her hands shook just looking at it.

  I can’t do it. I can’t. I can’t, Sofia thought in a sudden panic.

  For a moment it was as if her body really couldn’t move. But then she was hoisting herself onto the beam. She was up, balancing.

  “Let’s go through the routine from before you fell!” Coach Jackson called. “This is going to be your opening event at the Forest Hills meet. Ready?”

  Sofia’s chest was so tight, her heart seemed to be trying to hammer its way out of the tight bands around her ribs. Her breath was coming in little choking gasps as she stared down at the four-inch-wide beam in front of her feet.

  She couldn’t do this. But she couldn’t get Coach Jackson’s words out of her head: “If you’re afraid, you’re not cut out for gymnastics.”

  CHAPTER 5

  “GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD!”

 

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