“I think you know the answer to that.” Grinning, I turned to face him, knowing full well the moron had a beef with me. “But you can call me Paul B-onion. You are auditioning to be Babe? My beautiful blue ox—”

  “Fine, be a dick. Just makes what is going to happen weigh less on my mind.” The man shrugged.

  “Keep telling yourself that. We both know I had nothing to do with whatever screw up you made. No matter what justification you try to give yourself or your Pact. I doubt you’ll survive your encounter with Imaginator or whatever.”

  “We already settled our differences.”

  “You mean that schoolyard pushing you two did yesterday?” I laughed. “You underestimate that man. He is a predator, and you are prey, and he was testing you.” I told him to get under his skin.

  “I know what you are doing prick. And there is no imaginary slight. I know you have the smoke bombs, and because of you, that Logistics Manager killed my brother.”

  “Listen, Babe. I never used a smoke bomb during that fight,” I said confidently because technically it was not me.

  “Yes—“

  “Nope,” I interrupted. “I do not even need to mess with your head, because it is already fucked up. You have some serious issues.”

  “Fuck you!” Clifford screamed. “I am coming after you.”

  “Go ahead and turn your back on Illuminator. I dare you,” I said quietly into the silence that filled the room.

  Illuminator broke the silence with his clapping and laughter. His eyes were hooded as he appraised both of us. I was not lying, Illuminator was dangerous.

  “Well played Onion. Nice note, I’m a grower, not a shower, by the way. Clifford, hows it hanging?” Illuminator asked.

  It was my turn to laugh. Illuminator already figured out it was me. I was sure of it; it was his eyes that gave it away. The man was connected, and he probably knew before he logged out yesterday.

  “Leave him be.” Another voice said from behind Illuminator. It was the kid Fungi and I helped yesterday. “He aided me and asked for nothing in return. And you have to admit the note thing was funny as hell.”

  “I thought you were supposed to take Onion down?” Illuminator said.

  “I was going to, but circumstances changed.” The kid said.

  “I assume you are iCup then?” I asked him.

  “Ok, now I am impressed.” Illuminator said. “How did you know he was coming for you?”

  “You would be surprised how far good manners will take you in this game.”

  Everyone stopped talking, unsure if my comment was genuine or not. Until Illuminator started laughing from deep in his belly.

  “This guy.” He finally said jerking his thumb at me. “Ok, we are good Onion. If iCup gives you a pass, then I give you one too. Clifford… even if you did not write the note, I do not like you.”

  “What fucking note is everyone talking about?” Clifford asked.

  “Oh, Babe.” A girl giggled from nearby. “I saw it. It said Illuminator had a small dick, love Clifford. I liked you better when I thought you wrote it; now I question whether you have any balls at all.”

  “Oh ho! I like her,” iCup said. “You are not making many friends Cliff. Maybe you should move along before you piss off some more people. Or I start suspecting you are a CEO and let others know.”

  Clifford paled a little. “This is not over Onion.”

  “No hard feelings,” I held out the Snack Cake as a peace offering.

  “Pussy.” Clifford snatched the cake out of my hand and shoved past me as he walked away.

  “Why did you admit to writing the note?” Illuminator asked.

  “Because you already knew, and there was no point lying about it.”

  “I like your style. I will leave you alone until the seventy-five percent mark. After that, it is every player for themselves.” Illuminator said.

  “I owe you still. Until I repay the debt, you will have no trouble from me. My employer in an honorable man, and even he agreed to these terms.” The kid said. “I still have to follow you, marching orders and all that. And also because your group has a knack for finding interesting things.”

  “Might have a spot for you at the halfway mark. Our pact dissolves then. No promises, but you seem capable.” It was a long shot, but worth taking.

  “Not sure I can do that. Politics. My employer has an issue with you, but he respects a worthy opponent.”

  “I get it. As long as I get to the halfway mark, no hard feelings.”

  “You are safe from me until I return the favor and consider my debt paid. I will let you know when we are even,” iCup said.

  “One stipulation. I consider saving anyone in my Pact the same as saving me, and debt paid. Deal?” I asked and put my hand out. I did not care who saw the gesture, and I already was found once in the real world. I did not care if people knew I am not a Lifer, and iCup shook my hand.

  “Well, you sure know how to make friends.” Fungi said grinning as I joined back up with them.

  “It is because I am a Fun Guy…”

  I could hear groans but ignored them.

  “Stick with making people cry,” Alexa laughed at our stunned faces, and then we joined her seconds later.

  “Aww, welcome to the family,” Zingo said hugging her.

  Bob and Nevi sighed.

  “Anyway, Onion and his lucky streak continue.” The big red-headed bastard smiled mischievously. “Where is our announcer guy? Oh, right. Onion got him fired.”

  “Dick,” I laughed at him. Seconds later a spike of unimaginable pain hit my brain, and my world went completely white. Fungi caught me as I stumbled.

  “What the hell man?” Fungi said softly.

  “Something happened to me last night,” I whispered while Bob, Zingo, Nevi, and Alexa moved in closer to us. “I think they—”

  “Not here.” Fungi said. “After this, I will call you, and we can meet up somewhere.”

  A nod was all I managed in return.

  Chapter 3

  Curtis was standing in front of the room, and I remembered our conversation from last night. I wonder how he would feel knowing about the anomalies the Judge mentioned. Would he believe or still want to see the numbers?

  “Good morning! I hope you slept well, but I can see some of you haven’t. We are reaching that special point in our game when we let things take their natural course. If you made it this far, you have done well. In the next few days, we will have a treat for you. So arrive early. You veterans should already know what is happening.

  “Today there is no Wheel, but..” Curtis smiled, but it did not quite reach his eyes. “I wouldn’t recommend slowing down today. Not even a little bit, trust me you will regret it. Not that it matters, after today, we decided the Wheel was going away anyway. There is a replacement, but we will talk about that tomorrow. We now have the Bounty and Bounty Hunter boards up; you can see that Illuminator is currently at the top of both. Funny how that happens when you slaughter everyone.”

  I could hear Illuminator laughing, but no one said anything derogatory. If he planned to strike fear into players, I think he succeeded. It would not do to underestimate him, and I suspected the man had done a bit of research on me. He met my eyes across the room and nodded towards me. I nodded back, mostly because my name was right below him on the Bounty Board.

  “Last bit of information. Someone found an Artifact, do not blurt out who you are. However, you should read Article 4.b of your contract. You might find it interesting.”

  At the announcement, several people cried out.

  “What Artifact?”

  “Who found it?”

  Curtis ignored all the questions fired off at him. Most of the players were clicking on virtual screens only they could see. So I decided to pull it up too.

  4.b - Artifact Clause - If you, the contender, find an Artifact in NRV-0757 and publicly claim it, this contract is null and void. You can renegotiate if you reveal the Artifact, but the Artifact will only allow you to nullify your current contract. All contracts made after finding the Artifact cannot be nullified. Further, anyone that claims an Artifact while competing in Office Wars can compete in all future games without corporate sponsors.

  “Holy shit,” Bob said surprising us all. “Mercenaries.”

  “What?” Alexa queried.

  “Every corporation can only have two contenders right? A freelance player is a mercenary. They can work for the highest bidder. That corporation would then have three or more contenders.” Bob explained, and it was not just us listening.

  “What happens if the player goes in without any contract and kills a CEO?” A random player asked standing next to me, and Bob turned towards him.

  “I’d assume they get the company or whatever reward. If you were a player killer, you could collect bounties; you’d have no tax. I mean an Artifact wielder from this game never has to work again.” Bob paused and looked at Alexa. “A serf could work out a contract to get their freedom, or freedom for an entire group of people.”

  “That’s why they are called Artifacts.” The announcer shouted getting everyone’s attention again. “They are challenging to find because you don’t have the luxury of time to go looking. So congratulations to whoever found it.

  “We have reached the R&D floor and for you office scrubs who don’t know what that is, its Research and Development. The beast from the last floor may or may not have been created on one of these floors. Good luck.”

  With that last statement, we all could hear the sounds of doors unlocking. My group stayed close, and Alexa stepped up to hug me.

  “Thank you,” She whispered.

  Zingo coughed, “Get a room you two.”

  Fungi hugged me from behind ruining the moment.

  “Now it is getting interesting,” Zingo smiled, and I broke free laughing.

  “Sorry,” Alexa said guiltily, even playing the part of a blushing damsel. Or at least I think she was playing a part. Finn would know better than I.

  “Clifford went through that door,” Nevi said after getting our attention. I felt stupid for not paying attention, but she did not give me any judgmental looks. Nevi was growing on me, and I could not fault her exasperation.

  “Then we go that way,” I said, and everyone turned to look at me like I had grown another head. “Seriously. We can trail him, and make sure he doesn’t circle around us, and—”

  “He can trigger the traps,” Bob said chuckling. “As I said, remind me not to get on your bad side. Half the time, I cannot tell if you are crazy or brilliant.”

  Illuminator, iCup and a few others went before us through the same door. I know we had a tentative truce, but with that many powerful players in one section, I was starting to think my plan was idiotic. Then again, I was the fool, and my instinct was rarely wrong. No, this was the choice I committed to, and I was not going to back away now.

  And just like that, we were through the door starting the next floor. I only spotted the engraved plate above the door as we passed the threshold. It had the image of a goat, the section Vent-Guy mentioned. The warning was clear, but did I trust him? If the players weren’t making me nervous, mutated goats were.

  Chapter 4

  White walls and polished twelve-inch white tiles greeted us when we walked through the door. A short hallway led to an intersection, but by the time we reached it, there was no one in sight in either direction. Unlike previous floors, this place was immaculate and looked like it had cleaning crews came through hourly.

  We went left, and after about a hundred yards the passageway took a sharp right. We could hear an echoing sound coming down the hall but never saw anything. If I had to guess, it was the sound of tile breaking under something heavy.

  Taking the right turn I saw a window spanning almost the entire length of the right wall, and it ended before a doorway near the next intersection. I could have handled that, but something escaped through the broken window. Blood was splattered all over the pristine white walls and floor. Along the drop-ceiling was several blood-soaked circles, and if I didn’t know better, I’d say they were hoof prints.

  Another set of cloven prints ended in front of the door, and a think ring of blood outlined each of them. These prints were the size of dinner plates. Whatever created them was much larger than whatever left the marks on the ceiling.

  Perception +1. Perception is now 37.

  Looking into the lab itself was even worse than peering through the broken shards of glass that still shielded most of the window. There were spider webs all over and on the ground in front of the door was a man in a lab coat that was cocooned and drained dry of all fluids. It was at this point that I had a bad feeling about entering the room, but if I was to judge the intensity of the impression it was only a warning.

  I waited for the others to arrive and whispered, “Something is in there—uh, here it comes.”

  Holy shit! Whatever was coming at us had some fantastic hearing.

  “Where is it?” Fungi asked, not taking his eyes off the room.

  “You had to ask didn’t you?” Zingo pointed towards the top of the door where one spider leg probed the hallway. When its head poked out the door, we were even more shocked to see a multi-eyed goat face with small nub-like horns peering at us. The enlarged head had fangs dripping saliva, or at least I hoped it was saliva. Eight legs sprouted from the thorax, which was a new section between the head and the main part of the body. The body itself looked like a goat’s body without legs, but it was round and came to a point, like a spider. Stranger still, the front two legs were still goat legs, and the other six spider limbs had shaggy goat fur.

  The creature curled up, so the abdomen faced forward. Underneath, a pink, hairless section revealed itself, and it had two rows of nipples pointed right at Fungi. I knew what was about to happen, and started laughing. Don’t get me wrong, this thing scared the shit out of me, but my morbid amusement thought Fungi standing in front of it was hilarious.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” Bob looked genuinely concerned but turned when Fungi started screaming. Six separate strands of liquid or thread, or maybe both shot forth from the goat nipples. The substance coated Fungi, anchoring him to the floor, and his arms sealed to his sides. He tried to spit the milk out of his mouth before it hardened, but I could hear his breath whistling as he struggled to breathe.

  “Mahaaaa,” the spider goat shrieked, which made me laugh even harder. Bob’s strike against one of its legs snapped it clean off, and the beast dropped down to the floor. It managed to flip while it fell and landed on the remaining seven legs. I could even hear the hooves click against the tile before the ceramic shattered.

  The Spider-Goat went after Bob, and while it was distracted, I pulled out the Boss’ Letter Opener and ran forward. Using my speed, I tried to slide under it, but when I leaned back the wheels on my shoes caught me off guard, and I shot forward faster than intended. It’s abdomen exposed itself, and my blade cut through the soft, pink flesh.

  Heelies! I snorted to myself and narrowly dodged one of the legs stabbing towards me. Tiles cracked under the blow.

  “Damn, that would have hurt,” I muttered under my breath, and put my hand down to slow my roll. My momentum was too high, and I slammed into Fungi. Every bone in my body vibrated as if I had just smashed into a statue head first. By the time the debuff status appeared, I could not read it.

  Speed +1. Speed is now 25.

  You are Concussed for the next 30 seconds.

  Concussed - You struck your head. As a consequence, you will struggle to think straight, your movement will be impaired, and you might talk like a simpleton.

  Word of Advice: Get some scissors, run around the hallways, have some fun!

  The silk cocoon did not even budge from my impact, but it sliced away under my letter opener. Standing up, I kept slicing. Cutting. Fun.

  Slice. Slice.

  The room spun around me, and I saw double. So I closed one eye and stuck out my tongue to concentrate. Fun time. Everywhere I saw the goat’s white substance I slashed at it.

  Slice. Slice.

  Fungi’s muffled screaming eventually got my attention, but the webbing over his mouth made it so I couldn’t understand him. My blade started to cut near his jawline and throat, but even in my concussed state, I hesitated. Instead, I cut down the side of his face and saw the silk threads turning red.

  “Tha makes no thense. I cuth you. Cuthing isth fun.” I tried to say to Fungi, but it really was hard to concentrate on words. I ripped parts of the webbing away from his mouth. Fungi’s intake of breath was a good sign, or so I thought.

  “You fucking idiot, stop fucking cutting me. You’ve got the dexterity of a three-year-old.” Fungi bellowed.

  “Tha no’ nithe. See ifth I ‘elp you again, fath bathard.”

  “Why are you talking like that?”

  “Like wath?

  “Like you have a mouthful of—”

  “He’s concussed! Shut up and help.” Bob growled.

  “Oh.” Fungi grinned at me. Using his own strength, he pulled large chunks of the cocoon away.

  My status ailment finally wore off. I shook my head a few times to clear out the rest of the cobwebs, no pun intended. That was a shitty debuff. Thirty seconds is a long time to be screwed up in the head. Fungi was a testament to that; he had cuts and gashes on over half his body.

  I flinched when Alexa screamed, and turned to see her arm plastered against the wall. She had nothing sharp to cut herself free and realized that Nevi and I were the only ones with bladed weapons. Nevi was busy bandaging Zingo, who had a hole in his leg.

  “You can thank me later,” I said absently and looked for a way to get over to Alexa.

  Fungi looked up at me as he pulled his other leg free. “For rescuing me?”

  “No, for improving your looks.” I laughed and moved around Bob to reach Alexa.

  “You fucker,” Fungi grumbled and charged the goat with his massive wrench. I could feel the impact against the creature’s thorax. Goat, or maybe spider, goo splashed across Alexa and me as I worked to get her free. I gagged and involuntarily swallowed the nasty substance when it got into my mouth.

 

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