My billionaire, p.5
My Billionaire, page 5
“That you were joking. I thought you were perfect for the role,” he said, and then his hand was gone.
I shuddered and took a step back. My heart was racing and I didn’t know what to think, but Max didn’t leave me time to react, he was already stepping through the doorway, heading back into his massive offices, leaving me standing there.
What role? What the hell was going through Max Declan’s head? Clearly, he had a role in mind for me, but I wanted more than anything to know what it was.
For just a few minutes standing there with Max, I had almost completely forgotten that I was straight. Or rather, I thought I was straight.
Whenever I was around Max, I just wasn’t so sure.
9
Blake
I lasted until about 4PM the next day when I simply couldn’t take it anymore. I simply couldn’t get off my mind was what role did Max have in mind for me? Finally, just after four I got up and went to his closed office door. I took a deep breath and knocked.
“Come in,” came his muffled voice from the other side.
I opened it and entered the room. It somehow seemed even bigger than the last time I had been inside, which of course was ridiculous.
“You have something for me?” he asked, still sitting behind his desk.
I moved to him, trying to make my stride come across as confident, and trying to give off an air of calm.
“I have a question sir. What exactly did you mean when you told me earlier that I was perfect for a role?”
Maxwell Declan looked at me for a long moment silently before he stood up and moved around the desk so he was standing right next to me. I could feel my heart starting to race again.
“Blake, are you sure you want me to answer that question?”
I wasn’t sure. For some reason, I was almost frightened by what the answer could be, but I of course had no clue what he was thinking. The serious look that he was giving me though, the seriousness of Max Declan was downright breathtaking. The way he looked at me, it was like he could deconstruct me to a subatomic level.
“Yes,” I said, stealing myself. “I’m certain.”
Max sighed and looked down at his desk, before glancing back up at me.
“I have… certain needs as both a man and well, as a man in such a high profile position. In short, I need a companion of sorts. I think you would make a perfect one. Except you know, it would require your views of sexuality to be different.”
I was speechless.
His companion? He wanted me to be his companion? The man who could have anyone he ever wanted, and he wanted me?”
“I… I’m not pretty enough. And besides, it’s not like I swing that way.”
He laughed and moved a step closer. Max practically towered over me.
“That’s ridiculous. You must know you’re handsome. Besides, while you may not have swung that way yet, doesn’t mean you don’t swing that way.” Max said, and reached out, once again cupping my chin.
I looked up into those perfect eyes of his, and it was like time was once again slowing down.
“I… I shouldn’t. I just went through an intense break up. And you’re my boss.”
“Shh,” he said, and then he leaned in, and his lips found mine perfectly.
It was like time hadn’t just slow down, but had come to a screeching shattering halt. His lips were soft and warm and perfect, and as they touched mine, prodded mine open and his warm tongue slipped into my mouth it was like a nuclear bomb went off in my entire body. It was an explosion of heat and color and stars. My eyes fluttered closed and I was spinning, spinning through galaxies of hope and joy and I could feel everything in my body, and somehow it was like I could feel Max’ body too.
It was the most perfect kiss I had ever experienced, and I wanted to get lost in, swim in, breath and dance in it.
Then he started to pull back, and it was like a rush of air as reality hit me. I was kissing another man. A man, not a woman. Me, who had been straight my whole life. Not that there was anything wrong with not being fully straight, but I just wasn’t entirely sure it was me. Besides, it wasn’t just like I was kissing any man. I was kissing Maxwell Declan. A billionaire. I was a man kissing another man who was my own boss, some rich jerk who could have and probably did have any woman or man he wanted to. He couldn’t possible care about me, I was just some… thing to him. He was like a cat, playing with me, the pathetic mouse, until he got bored of it and tossed it aside.
I was suddenly sick to my stomach. Not because I was grossed out by kissing Max, but because it was all too much.
“Whoa,” Max said, leaning back and touching his lips. “You really do defy expectations, you know that Blake?”
“I have to go,” I said and turned to leave.
“Wait, where are you going?” he asked, and reached out, grabbing my arm.
I yanked it free from Max and glared at him.
“Don’t touch me. I should have left this morning. This whole thing, this is ridiculous. You are ridiculous.”
“Hey, easy.”
“No. I’m leaving. I just can’t.”
I started to run out of his office when he spoke again, his voice icy cold. “Don’t you dare leave,” he said.
I turned back to him and put my hands on my hips. I was shaking, but this time not from fear or desire, but from angry. “I do dare Max.”
“If you walk out that door right now…”
“You’ll what? Fire me? Send me back downstairs? Too bad and too little and too late. I quit,” I snapped, and strode out of his office, slamming the door behind me.
10
Blake
I was still in shock two hours later, laying alone on my terrible air mattress. The ups and downs of the last few days had truly been jarring, and I didn’t really know what I was going to do with myself. Just as a curiosity I jumped online on my smart phone and peeked at Claire’s social media. I was surprised at just how many pictures she had posted of her and Ed. I was also surprised (though I suppose I shouldn’t have been) of how all the pictures of us had been erased from her feed. She had left a few up I had taken of her, but that was it. I still didn’t feel heartbroken, but I did feel a strong since of betrayal. It was silly, and I knew it, but it didn’t matter. I still felt it.
There was more to it though, a wave and mixture of emotions, partly because I wasn’t entirely sure what I should have felt, other than what I was feeling. Because until those last few weeks, I really had thought of myself as straight.
Except that’s not entirely true, is it? It’s more like, you just never thought much about it as all, but always dated women. But deep down, even if you aren’t fully gay, you sure as hell aren’t just straight. Because you’ve had a lot more dreams about men than you remember, and certainly more that you remember that you’ve just pretended to forget.
As much as I didn’t like to admit it, the voice in my head was 100% right. It was the truth, as much as some part of me wanted to resist it. Not that me being gay, or bi, or whatever the current trendy label was mattered. What did matter was admitting to myself that whatever I was, it was certainly different, certainly more than what I had given myself credit for, up until that point.
“I don’t know what I am, other than happy to not be with her anymore,” I said out loud, to no one other than myself. Still, it felt good to say the words into the air. In that moment I knew that was the truth, and even jobless, bed-less, and weirdly missing my boss that I had just walked out on, I felt on some level at least at peace with myself, a feeling I realized I had not felt in a very long time.
If nothing else, it was a start.
About an hour later, after completely falling into the black hole that was social media, a text came through, one that that pulled me out of that emotional roller costal ride but put me on a new one.
We should talk.
It was from Max’s personal number, not his business phone that he usually gave out. I had received it the second afternoon that I had been his assistant, and I hadn’t been given it by him, but rather Nancy. She had given me strict instructions to never call it, but always pick it up when he used it. “Think of it as the bat signal,” she had said. I got the reference, even though I was always more of a Superman kind of guy myself.
I swallowed hard, and considered responding to the text. If I was still working for him, I would have responded instantly, but I wasn’t anymore. Since you quit on him. Just because he wanted to fuck you. I was of two minds as to what to actually do, so instead of doing anything, I just waited.
I waited five minutes, and another one came through.
Let me buy you dinner at least. If it goes badly, we can at least discus your severance package.
That text was unexpected, but it at least made logical sense. Well, minus the dinner part. I got the feeling that nobody told Maxwell Declan no. Perhaps that was why he was being courteous to me, even if he had been aggressive and demanding before.
I swallowed hard and considered exactly how I was going to respond to him. I knew that I wanted to, despite quitting and blowing my life up even more than it had already been blown up with just in the past short few weeks, but it was a different feeling entirely to engage with him again. After all, he was the one that had put the moves on me.
All though if I was being completely honest, I couldn't really complain about that. I kind of liked it. Hell, if I was being completely honest, it was more than "kind of". It was a great deal more than that.
Just thinking about that made me think of the kiss, and just how damn amazing it had been. It had been, for a lack of a better term, perfect. Which of course made me want to answer in the affirmative.
Still a part of me, the stubborn part, wanted to resist. Wanted to tell him no, and to fuck off.
It wasn't very often you got to tell a billionaire no.
On the other hand, if he was willing to discuss a severance package over dinner, that really wasn't something that I should just causally turn down. Especially considering how generous the signing bonus package had been.
Besides, chances that dinner would be somewhere nice seemed highly likely.
Okay, I texted him back. I can do dinner.
Ninety seconds later I got a response.
Good. A car will be in front of your building in thirty minutes.
I did a double take, almost considering telling him that I needed more time, but instead thumbed back, Okay.
I took a quick shower and changed into a fresh pair of grey slacks and an autumn styled gingham patterned Oxford shirt. Over it I threw on a navy-blue blazer (J Crew) and a pair of naturally distressed Clarks. I looked in the mirror and considered. I looked like the text book definition of a hipster, but I didn’t mind. It was the right look for me, at least for that the evening ahead.
I took one final look at myself in my bathroom mirror (since Claire had taken the mirror that attached to the top of my dresser) and headed for the door.
11
Blake
The driver picked me up and took me to a Japanese restaurant in the heart of the city. We went through a side door into the back area, where there was not just a private booth, but an entire private room for us. Max was waiting for me of course, and he had changed from his previous dapper suit into something far more casual. He had changed into designer jeans and a black silk shirt. The casualness of his look somehow made him even more appealing, because just like his custom business suits, the outfit just worked for him. Maybe it was just the fact that Max was Max, or maybe it was the fact that he was just so… hauntingly gorgeous. Either way it didn’t matter, because if I was being honest with myself, he could have been wearing a faded and torn up burlap sack and I still would have only had eyes for him, even if the room was filled with other gorgeous models, regardless of those other people’s gender.
I felt a lump form in my throat as I took a seat across from him in the booth. He looked up from the menu and smiled at me. I was caught off guard by the smile and instantly felt disarmed, it was stunning. How does he do it to me? I wondered, but dismissed the thought. Focus. You need to focus Blake. Focus on the job. This isn’t about romance, or about your insane attraction to a man that you have no business being with, in any regard.
“I took the liberty of ordering a great deal of food, but if there’s anything else you want, feel free to order,” he said.
“Okay,” I said, and looked over the menu. The miso soup and salad came as I looked over the menu, even as the waiter poured us both Sake.
I tasted it before the soup, and was stunned by its superb cold flavor. The profile of the rice wine lit up my whole mouth and I felt instantly at ease.
“So,” I said, putting down my cup of Sake and engaging with the billionaire fully. “What are you offering me?” I asked.
He put up his hand and shook his head. “Not now.”
I folded my arms across my chest. “You’re not my boss anymore, remember. If you don’t want me getting up and walking out right now, we’ll go over my package.”
Max sighed, and looked directly into my eyes. It was like being caught in a spider’s web. There was truly nothing I could do but look right back at him. Once again, it was like he was seeing directly into my soul.
Surprisingly, he broke eye contact first.
“You’re right,” he said, surprising me even more. “Boundaries for me are not… like most people. In the sense that there aren’t many for me. But your freedom, your will to do what you want is solely your own. If you truly want to go over the numbers now, we can do so. It’s just, for me, I rarely get to sit down to have a dinner that is not business related. By that I mean I rarely get to sit down and just enjoy a meal. While I’ve known you a short time, you are enjoyable company. I was hoping to enjoy the meal, and then discuss your exit package.”
I considered for a long time, and then nodded my head a fraction of an inch. “Fine. That seems reasonable.”
Over the course of the next two hours, the term “wine and dine” came to mind. Every course, every piece of food was better than the one before. We went through two bottles of Sake, and by the time we were done I was feeling good.
I had also made a decision in my head, but one I was not about to tell him.
“So, let’s see it,” I said, when the dinner was finally winding down.
He nodded and pulled out the two-page document, sliding it across the table. “Take your time to read it,” he added.
I did, and had to do my very best not to have my jaw drop open. He was offering me $300,000 as a severance package, as long as I signed a non-disclosure about what I did for him. He also offered a letter of recommendation if I agreed. I signed it without saying a word, and set it down on the table.
“Okay,” I said, gathering up the courage to look at him again.
“Yeah,” he said, taking another sip. He seemed a little withdrawn, something I had never seen him be before. Almost… forlorn. Like he was sad that I was leaving. My heart swelled, and confirmed my crazy decision in my head.
“Well,” he added, looking right at me again, “I guess that’s it.”
It was my turn to smile, and I shook my head. “No, not quiet.”
“Why not?” He asked, arching an eyebrow.
“Because now that it’s clear that I’m not going to be your assistant, if the other offer is still on the table, I’ll take it.”
His eyes went big. “Wait, seriously?”
“Yeah,” I said, my smile growing wider. It was practically splitting my face.
Max cocked his head to the side. “You’re not joking.”
“Not even a little.”
“Well in that case,” he said, shaking his head.
“In that case, what?”
“My penthouse is only ten minutes away. We’re getting a late start for our first session, but I think it will be best to begin tonight.”
“Seriously?” I was surprised at just how easy it was.
“Yes,” he said. “This is going to be so much fun,” he added, standing up.
My heart started to race, and I got up, following him as he went out the same way I had entered.
Just exactly what had I signed up for?
I didn’t know, but I was about to find out.
12
Blake
He walked with me quickly to his place and I felt a sense of relief as we considered exactly what to do. It wasn't so much that there was anything in particular that I was supposed to do or think, in terms of those first few careful quiet moments with him. In fact, it was more like I knew what was going to happen on some deep, primal level, which was why I was so okay with it. It was more than just what I wanted to happen, it was what I needed to happen. I needed to be free of my past and embrace my future.
The idea of being his special person, a high-class gigolo didn't bother me. What bothered me is if that was my only job, and it really wasn't. Because I had an escape plan, an exit strategy. His severance package alone was enough to keep me going for a year or two till I figured out what I wanted to do next, and besides that, I also of course had whatever his new contract stated.
When we entered his penthouse (it was more like a palace than a penthouse even) he led me right to his office. He had his stack of papers sitting on his desk, and he moved behind it.
"Before we begin, I need you to sign this," he said.
