A line in the ice, p.20
A Line in the Ice, page 20
He’d done more than that, so much more, but in his current state, he wasn’t going to hear anything she might say. Nothing positive, anyway. He wasn’t having any trouble hearing her when she fucked up and said something not so helpful.
“Sometimes survival is all it takes.” She tangled her fingers in the hair at his nape, massaging the remaining tension away from his neck. “It brought you to us, didn’t it?”
“For what value? You are the only ally I have left.”
“One is still better than none.”
“Can you stop Julius from chaining me again?”
“Yes.” Somehow. Julius would listen to reason, if nothing else. He shouldn’t have been in chains in the first place. Where could he possibly run to? He wouldn’t turn on any of them. His anger was directed at the Yellow Cross.
“Then I believe you.” He buried his face in her neck. “I don’t want to think about it anymore. I don’t want to think about any of this anymore.”
She didn’t blame him. “How about you take a shower then? You’ll feel better with all this stuff off you.”
“I’m assuming the shower is your version of a bath?”
“Yeah, except standing up.” She pulled back enough to meet his dark eyes, the weariness there tearing into her heart. “I can help you with it, if you want.”
“I do, thank you.” He smiled a little, the small gesture revealing the depth of his exhaustion. “Though, for the record, I do know how to bathe myself.”
Unable to resist, she brushed her mouth across his, soft, slow. “For the record, I fully expect you to return the favor the very first chance we get.”
“How soon do you think that will be?” He brushed his thumb across her cheek. “I am afraid I got you all dirty.”
“It’s okay. It was worth it.”
Though she didn’t want to break the contact between them, she stepped back, catching his hand in hers and scooping up the towel again. The electric hum of the generators was the only sound in the hall, and she pulled him along behind her, until they were ensconced in the tiny bathroom with the door locked behind them.
“It’s not very big.” She crouched to adjust the generator that regulated how much water they could use and how hot they could get it. “But there’s enough room for both of us.”
Lysander finished undressing, leaving his soiled clothes in the corner by the door. They did have water rationed for laundry, but it would probably be yet another fight when she used a portion of that water for Lysander’s clothes. Once he was fully naked, she inspected his body, reassuring herself the Aquorian hadn’t injured him. At least, not physically.
“Do you believe me? That the Aquorian wasn’t a real lead?”
She believed he believed it, but that wasn’t the answer he wanted to hear. “I think we made a huge mistake bringing it back to the base. I wish I’d ignored my orders and followed yours instead.”
“The items it brought with it will probably be helpful. They are trained to be prepared for anything when they go through a rift.” He studied the tiny stall. “What is the advantage of this over a tub big enough for two?”
“Showers use less water.” She flipped the switch to start the external pump. “Go on in. I’ll be right behind you.”
They had hung a curtain up, partially for extra privacy, partially to trap as much of the water as possible, but there wasn’t a ledge to form an actual shower floor. The floor itself indented slightly so the water would flow into the drain, where it would be collected and filtered, then reused for laundry and the toilet.
He turned the handle without waiting for her instructions, gasping as the first spray of water hit him. It was always frigid, but fortunately, it didn’t take long before the water heater kicked in.
“This is not…unpleasant.”
She shucked her clothes as quickly as possible, stealing glances at him through her lashes whenever possible. Even with the blood mottling his bronzed skin, he looked delectable, the muscles flexing in his back as he bent his head beneath the spray. She slipped in behind him before he turned around, molding her naked body to his and pressing a kiss to his shoulder.
“You don’t have anything like this in Illyria? Not waterfalls or something like that?”
“The rivers and waterfalls in Illyria come from the highest peaks, and so they are very cold. Sometimes the rain is warm at the height of summer.”
Slowly, she splayed her fingers over his flat stomach, letting her other hand move the water around to rinse off the worst of the blood. “I wish I could see it. The way you talk about it…I’m not sure I’ve ever lived anyplace I loved that much.”
He shivered beneath her touch, the muscles twitching at every point of contact. “I wish I could show you. I could describe everything to you in the smallest detail, but it wouldn’t be the same. I can’t imagine anything more beautiful than you standing in woods, with the light filtered through all the leaves.”
She could. Lysander in the same position. Such a description called for someone far more feral than her. He was the creature that needed to be caught in such a moment.
“This world must be such a disappointment. I’m sorry it hasn’t been a better experience for you.”
“This world has not been a disappointment.” He turned to cup the back of her head and kiss her brow, his lips lingering on her damp skin. “I wish I could see more of it. I wish I knew the world that my great-grandfather spoke of. But I am not disappointed by my experience.”
It always came back to this. He could teach somebody else how to do the damn ritual to close the rift, or maybe Benson could find some insane volunteer to do it and Lysander could stay behind. Then she could show him exactly what he’d missed all this time. But his spirit would never be at peace if he hadn’t done everything he could. Passing the buck wasn’t his style.
“You still have stuff in your hair.” She needed to get off the topic. Thinking about it made her eyes burn. “Want me to wash it for you?”
“Yes, thank you.”
She focused on pouring the shampoo into the palm of her hand, staring at the liquid to distract her from the intensity of his gaze. He turned his back to her and bent his knees, allowing her to comfortably reach the top of his scalp. As soon as she touched him, smearing the shampoo through his hair, he sighed.
Her heart twisted. “When was the last time somebody took care of you?”
“When I was a child, I suppose. Portia took ill very soon after we married and my responsibilities to my clan were more important.”
“Well, I guess it’s better late than never.”
She worked the soap through the long strands, massaging it into his scalp with firm fingertips. Her nipples tightened at the sound of his breathing, the hard tips tingling where they brushed against his back. It wasn’t supposed to be sexual. That hadn’t been her intent. But with her skin wet and slick, his hair heavy where it laid across her fingers, she got lost in the assault on her senses. The way individual strands occasionally slipped beneath her short nails. The throaty groans he couldn’t always contain. Coaxing his head back gave her better access to the front, but did nothing to lessen her reaction.
“When was the last time somebody took care of you? Or would you rather be doing the caring?”
“Probably not since high school. I was always pretty self-sufficient. I’d never met anybody I thought could take care of me better than I could do it myself.”
“If you ever did, would you give him the chance to try?”
Her hands slid down to his neck, along his shoulders, over his arms. Pressing to his back, she ran her lips along his wet skin, gathering droplets every inch of the way. “I said I hadn’t met anyone. Past tense. So…before I met you.”
“Charlie…” He rested his brow against the wall. Shampoo swirled down his body, and the water dripped from his nose and his lashes. His smooth skin pulled tight over bunched muscles. She squashed the insane urge to apologize, like she’d said something out of line, by curling her arms around his waist. “I’m worried I won’t be able to leave you.”
Adrenaline shot through her, sparked by the possibility of him staying, only to ebb again when the truth of their reality returned. Of course, he couldn’t stay. The rift needed to be closed. As long as the rift was open, her world was in danger.
But as long as the rift was open, he was still with her. Rock, meet hard place.
“I know you have to do what you must. I’m not going to ask you to stay and make it harder for you.”
“It’s already hard enough.”
“I know.”
“Will you promise to remember me?”
“You make it sound like it’s possible to forget.”
“Promise.”
She took a deep breath. Saying the words was easy. She meant it when she said she could never forget. Even if he hadn’t touched her life like he did, his acts of courage and bravery ensured a spot in her memories. But right here, right now, it didn’t seem like enough. He needed allies more than he needed promises. Words weren’t enough to stop the Yellow Cross.
“I’ll do you one better that that. I’ll go with you.”
“You…” He covered her hand with his. Though his grip was like steel, his fingers trembled. “You would be willing to do that? Even with the risk?”
“I’ll take on the whole Aquorian army if it means not losing you.”
“Charlie, I couldn’t…” He stopped, as if the word choked him. “I couldn’t ask that of you. I could never ask that of you. It is far too dangerous, and even if you…How could you be happy in Illyria? It is so different from this world.”
Water clung to her lashes as she rested her cheek against his back. “You’re not asking. I’m offering. If I can’t adjust to a new environment, all my training has been for nothing. I’d like to think I’m a better soldier than that.”
“I feel like I should tell you that you cannot come with me. But I can’t. Because the thought of you fighting at my side…” His voice trailed off as he brought her hand up to his mouth. He kissed each knuckle slowly as though performing some sacred ritual. “I would be so honored.”
His soft acceptance untied every knot in her stomach, banished every doubt and fear she’d harbored since he’d first announced his intentions to leave again. This was the answer she’d been seeking all along. They didn’t want to be parted. There was no good reason they had to be.
“It’s a shame you won’t get to see Hawaii. I still think you would’ve loved it.”
“I very much hope that is all you come to regret about your decision.” He turned to face her, his dark gaze capturing hers. “But if you change your mind, at any time, I will not hold it against you.”
The water sharpened the harsh lines of his features, and she lifted her hand to brush away the beads clinging to his skin. “I think it’s probably a safe bet I won’t. I finally found someone who makes me want to fight for him before anything else.”
He turned his head, kissing her fingers. “I must always fall back on the lines I know from my childhood, but my heart is in your service.”
She caught his cheek and guided him back. Emotion swelled within his eyes, lush and promising. Her throat tightened as she tilted her head up to press her lips against his. They trembled, unsure until she deepened the kiss. She wanted him to know—to believe—that he wasn’t alone in his feelings, even if she wasn’t very good at voicing them aloud. And she would fight for them as passionately as she would fight for him.
Pulling her closer, he dipped his tongue into her mouth, coaxing a moan from her throat. The water cooled as it hit her, rolling down her shoulders, lingering on her hardened nipples. As cool as the water felt, his body scalded hers. She couldn’t feel anything beyond him, couldn’t hear anything past the curtain of water.
“How long can we stay in here?” he asked against her lips.
His query deflected her thoughts enough to actually consider it. “We shouldn’t waste the water, but I don’t want to stop.”
“I don’t want to stop, either, but I also don’t want to be rushed.”
“Well…” Her hand drifted lower, slipping between their wet bodies to find his heavy sac. She rolled it between her fingers, deliberately avoiding his hard cock. “We don’t necessarily need the water.”
“True.” He reached over her shoulder to turn the faucet, claiming her mouth as soon as the spray stopped. She moaned, still massaging his balls. He cupped one full breast. It might have been warmer in the bedroom. It might have been more comfortable. But that wasn’t enough to pull her from his arms and the tiny nook they had to themselves.
He touched her without heed of her fading bruises, a change she was more than grateful for. She craved all of him, the tight circle of his embrace, the rough strokes of his body, as well as the tender caress of his fingertips. A whimper rose to the back of her throat at the thought that she could have him like this indefinitely.
The world spun when he pushed her against the wall. He smoothed his hands down her ribs, splaying his fingers over the curve of her hips. She tilted her head back and gasped as his teeth scraped across the tender hollow of her throat. Goose bumps erupted across her skin, a fresh rash spreading over her body each time she shivered. But his mouth warmed her, his tongue both soft and rough as he tasted her, tested the texture of her skin.
He claimed he didn’t want to rush, but she didn’t know how to keep this slow. The need to possess him drove her to wrap her leg around his hip, to rock against his throbbing erection. It would only take a slight shift in their angles and he would be inside her, stretching, filling, and leaving her panting for breath until he started to move.
But Lysander refused to give quarter, continuing his assault along her wet skin. He nibbled along her collarbone, then down to the upper swell of her soft breast. Just when she thought he would take the nipple into his mouth, he switched to the other side, repeating the pattern until her head spun.
“Please…” She didn’t know what she was begging for anymore, only that she had to. “Please, Lysander…”
“Nobody else has ever made me feel as you do.”
Each murmured word was its own caress, a contrast to the hard kisses he pressed to her flesh. When he caught her wrists and held them above her head, the new position thrust her breasts forward. He claimed each nipple in turn, sucking on the peaks until she jerked her hips. Her pussy lips slid over his length, giving her the barest hint of how it would feel when her body wrapped around his shaft.
The backs of her legs quivered, threatening to go out on her. She craved the same privilege, to taste his salty skin, to devour him until his blood was as molten as hers. All she had to do was sink to her knees and take him in—both problems solved—but then he would find a new spot to sample, his teeth grazing over her flesh, his fingers kneading at her hips. And she could do nothing but moan.
Without releasing her, he lifted her off her feet, prompting her legs to wrap around his hips. Her body quivered. Waited. Held utterly still in anticipation of more.
He didn’t disappoint. He claimed her mouth, catching her long moan as he sheathed himself inside her.
So worth it. Tightening her legs, she took the only control she could. She wasn’t ready for him to move, not yet, maybe not ever. If it were possible to freeze this moment, just them, joined together, no immediate fears, no immediate dangers, she would. Nothing felt as good, or as right, as his body buried in hers, and their mouths sealed together.
“You’re so beautiful like this.” Lysander caught a drop of water rolling down her cheek. “I’ll take you swimming every day. Just so I can see you like this. All sweet.”
“You can teach me how to climb, too.” She cried out when he rolled his hips, grinding into her clit. “I’ll show you how to fly.”
“Yes…yes…” He finally freed her wrists, both hands going to her ass. He held her tightly, his fingers kneading into her flesh, as he drove into her body. Each deliberate thrust prolonged her pleasure until she thought she would snap, but instead of pushing her over the edge, it took her to a new level. “When they see you, everybody will know the stories of Earth are true.”
“The only person whose opinion I care about is yours.” She had to kiss him again, to show him the only way she could, clinging to his shoulders in heart-pounding desperation. It didn’t interrupt his rhythm or alter the grasp of his hands. It simply bound them closer together. The way they were meant to be.
And now, it never had to end.
The sense of proud possession swelled inside her, sweet in its certainty. Hers. His. They even moved in harmony, like they had almost from the beginning. Faster. Tighter. Together, even when everything went white-hot within her skin, even when she was forced to squeeze her eyes shut, even when just a graze of his lips was enough to sweep her into exploding. She cried out, arching into him. She would’ve fallen, if not for his strength. But she believed with everything she had he’d never let that happen.
His shout matched hers before he muffled the sound against her neck, burying his face there as he thrust one final time. She clenched around him, holding him deep inside her, shuddering from the force of his release. His muscles were tight, his body hard, strong, every inch of him reminding her he was a fighter, too. He didn’t release her in the aftermath. If anything, he held her closer.
“You know why I’ll be happy in Illyria?” she said, more than a little breathless. “Because you’ll be there.”
“I’ll fight all the harder to ensure it’s a world worthy of you.”
She toyed with the damp strands of hair at his nape, coiling them around her finger before letting them loose again. “It won’t be easy. But my dad always said the good things never are.”
The light in his eyes dimmed. “The battle will be far from easy. It might even be impossible. If we emerge victorious, we have an entire world to help rebuild. That is a…rather daunting responsibility.”
She hadn’t meant to ruin his mood with reality, or at least, not so soon. “Think of it this way. We get to rebuild it the way we want. Like…we can make it mandatory for Sundays to be spent all day in bed with your lover.”
