A marine discovery, p.16
A Marine Discovery, page 16
part #3 of A Marine's Heart Series
“It’s not the easiest. Some days I feel like I’m held together by chewing gum and paperclips, just waiting to fall apart. Then I remember that everyone is trying their hardest to come home to their loved ones. And if they don’t, Sharon updated her documents so I’ll be notified as soon as possible. Even if one of my close friends is injured, I’m in their family phone tree somewhere.”
Dr. Chapman’s face grew pale. “I don’t think I’m listed anywhere. How would I know if something happened to her?”
Cam wondered if she should reach out and offer a comforting touch. But Cam barely knew Dr. Chapman and the thought was unsettling. Instead, she tried what usually worked for her—finding a solution to the problem.
“I’m surprised she didn’t discuss this with you. Maybe she thought you’d worry even more, but I highly doubt Gunny hasn’t planned for this. Just in case we’ll make our own phone tree. I’ll write to Sharon and ask her to alert me if anything happens to Gunny, and I’ll tell you the second I hear anything. Then, even if her family doesn’t contact you, I will.”
“That would be such a weight off my shoulders.” Dr. Chapman took a long drink. Her face took on a new expression that Cam couldn’t read. “You’ve been so helpful tonight. I might just adjust that quiz grade for you in return,” Dr. Chapman said dryly.
Cam shook her head vigorously. “No, please don’t. I’m not doing this for special treatment, it’s simply the right thing to do.” Her laughter made Cam realize she’d misunderstood.
“I forgot how noble Marines are. I was teasing.”
Cam’s cheeks burned, before remembering that taking people literally wasn’t a character fault, but a brain difference. She took a deep drink of her beer to recover. “Sorry, it’s hard for me to catch nuance sometimes. Anyway, be careful with Marines. Some, like Gunny, are as trustworthy as they come. And others don’t deserve to wear the uniform. I’m familiar with both types unfortunately.”
“Well, I’ve luckily only met the good ones. Mags may drive me utterly bonkers sometimes, but her intentions are good, even when her actions aren’t.”
Something in Dr. Chapman’s expression told Cam she cared deeply for Gunny and it warmed her heart. She wasn’t normally in the habit of thinking her chain of command were human beings with families, but she liked that Gunny had someone.
“You said you met a year ago? Can I ask how, without any of those details that would incur her wrath?”
Dr. Chapman angled her head, studying Cam. Involuntarily, Cam shrunk against the seat, her eyes finding her beer bottle.
“I’ve heard that she can be scary, and enjoys making people cry at times she promises me are appropriate, but I can’t imagine her being unnecessarily violent. She’s actually a teddy bear when you get to know her. Are you genuinely afraid of her?”
One side of Cam’s mouth curled up and she chuckled to herself. There were so many stories Dr. Chapman was hinting at, but it wasn’t her place to ask for details. “No, Gunny is too controlled for all that. But I’ve been mildly terrified of her for more than six years. Why would that stop now?”
“And yet you respect her?”
“Completely. First, she’s an incredible Marine. Second, she’s a good teacher, and not just when she was scary as you called it. She mentored us. Told us what to expect in the fleet so we knew why she trained us as she did. Gunny tried to give us the tools to survive a Corps that often didn’t want us. Now that I think back, I wonder if that’s because she was facing bigotry not just for being a woman, but also for being a lesbian.” Cam’s head shot up. “Or is she bi? I didn’t mean to assume, but I just can’t imagine her with a guy, especially now.”
“No, she’s most certainly a lesbian. As am I, before you ask.”
Cam liked Dr. Chapman’s relaxed demeanor. Cam’s missteps didn’t seem to bother her in the least. “Anyway, Gunny held us to high standards, but it made a difference. Looking at who I am today, I credit Sharon and Gunny. I hope I don’t disappoint either of them.”
“No need to worry, from what I’ve seen you are sure to make them proud of you. I know Mags will be, she wouldn’t have mentioned you if she didn’t think highly of you.”
Cam nodded, not having anything else to say on the matter, though she was certain she’d have a lot to journal about later.
“Our story then. We met at a bookstore in our neighborhood. I caught this gorgeous, strong, confident woman watching me and when I tried to make a stealth exit to gather my composure, I managed to practically knock the table over. Mags came to my rescue, picked up my books, and struck up a conversation. That conversation turned into dinner at her place and… umm… other activities.”
Cam smiled uncontrollably at her professor’s blush. She sipped her beer to forestall an inappropriate comment. They weren’t friends, not yet.
“I didn’t think I’d see her again, and I probably wouldn’t have, but we met by chance at the grocery store and this time exchanged phone numbers. It’s been a long and bumpy road. It wouldn’t be without the need to be secretive, but we’re finding what works for us. Or we were, until this damned deployment happened. Now I don’t know what to do with myself.”
“I know the feeling. This is the longest Sharon and I have spent apart since we met. On top of that, some of my best friends are there too. It’s not enough to worry about losing one person, I’m worried about losing three.”
Silence fell over the table, the impossibility of each other’s situation weighing heavily. Cam was in uncharted territory. When unsure how to respond, she followed general social cues, but what were the rules for your professor dating your superior with no one to talk to about it? She could only find one solution.
“Dr. Chapman, is it improper to give you my number? At least you’ll have one person to talk to when it gets bad and you’re too stressed out to sleep. I can tell you it will be okay, remind you that Gunny is a great Marine and will come home safe. You’ll believe me because you need to, and you will continue to grade me fairly or I’ll tell Gunny you’re taking it easy on me.”
Dr. Chapman laughed hard. “It didn’t occur to me until now that she could be used as a threat for both of us. Well played, Cam. I don’t know if it’s improper, but if anyone knows how to keep a relationship secret for any reason, it’s you.”
“Good point.” Cam pulled her notebook out of her backpack and wrote her number and address on the paper. She handed Dr. Chapman a piece of paper as well. When she was done, Cam handed her the information. “Just in case you need it.”
Dr. Chapman handed Cam the paper with her information on it. “And that is for the phone tree. But also if you need it for anything not class related. We should keep those discussions for office hours.”
Cam slipped the paper into her backpack. “Agreed. Can I give you some advice that was given to me early on?” At her nod, Cam continued. “Don’t watch too much news. All it does is ramp up the anxiety.”
“I’ll consider your advice, though I tend to bury myself in a book more than the news.”
Cam finished off her beer and checked her watch. It was approaching 4:30 p.m. which meant traffic would steadily increase in the next half hour. No time for a second beer if she wanted to drive safely. Instead she pulled her reusable water bottle from her backpack and set it on the table.
“Did you want anything else to drink?”
Cam shook her head. “I need to be clear headed for rush hour traffic. Time to let the alcohol work its way back out.”
“Good point.” Dr. Chapman finished her drink and asked for a glass of water from the bartender. “While we’re waiting, care to tell me how you and Sharon met?”
Cam thought back to that fateful day, but Dr. Chapman quickly interrupted. “Did you know that your whole face lit up just now? I can’t wait to hear this story.”
Did she always give away her emotions so easily, or were the people around her particularly adept at reading people? She was likely to blush again so dove into the story.
“We were baby Marines, just out of boot camp and combat training. I was a scared, introverted kid and spoke to no one besides my friend Joe. Somehow Sharon saw through those incredibly attractive qualities and made sure we were put on cleaning duty together. I was, of course, immediately smitten by her which was the only reason I agreed to go to a party that weekend. There we shared our first kiss, and we consider that our anniversary since we never officially dated. That was six years ago as of October 31st.”
“That’s a long time.”
“For people so young?”
“No,” Dr. Chapman said seriously, “for anyone. How did you pull that off, besides the luck you mentioned earlier?”
“I know it’s not entirely scientific, but I can’t help but think we were meant to be. That doesn’t mean it was always easy, but I couldn’t walk away from her without ripping my own heart out. That gives me extra incentive to work through the hard times. Like now. Monday was my birthday, so in two weeks I’ve had to face three important dates in our relationship with nothing but phone calls. Hence the poor quiz grade.”
“Well a very belated happy birthday to you. God, I hope Mags and I can get where you and Sharon are someday.”
“If your relationship survives this deployment, I have no doubt you’ll make it.” Cam’s fist shot to her mouth, as if it could capture her words. “Shit, that sounds like I’m expecting you to break up. I swear I’m not, just trying to be realistic about how hard it is.” Cam forced herself to stop talking.
“No, I understood what you meant. You’re right, this situation is approaching impossible and we’re not halfway through it yet. But I love her, I won’t give up just because the situation is challenging. Thanks to you, I feel more prepared for the upcoming months.”
“No problem, Dr. Chapman. You’re only the second civilian I’ve told any part of our story. And I’ll be processing all this information about Gunny for a while. Sharon is going to laugh so hard when I tell her about this. Carefully, of course. I’m afraid Gunny would honestly punch me if I outed her, and rightfully so.”
“Ugh, don’t get me started on censoring communication. Anyway, Dr. Chapman feels too formal here. Why don’t you call me Lane when we’re off campus?”
“Lane? It feels weird but I’ll do my best. Say, you guys don’t live together, do you?”
Lane laughed. “She’s only recently put her feelings into words, broaching that subject might make her run for the hills, literally if not figuratively. I know living together is too high a risk for her, so asking would be the same as telling her to choose me or the Marine Corps. I can’t do that.”
“That must make it a little easier to sleep alone, at least, since you aren’t used to sleeping with her every night.”
“That’s a strange conclusion, Cam. Why on earth do you think I’d let Mags, with her strong, smooth, sexy body-“
Cam slammed her hands over her ears, cheeks burning at her huge misstep. “That’s enough, my brain’s going to explode with that visual.”
Lane’s laughter continued long enough for Cam to pull herself together. “Sorry, not trying to be an asshole, that was a failed attempt at finding the bright side. Thank you for not getting mad. My head isn’t okay right now.”
“Mine either. But it’s good to talk about it, and even laugh. I miss her so much, sometimes it feels like I’m missing a part of me.” Lane took a drink of her water. “She better come home in one piece or I’m going to kill her myself.”
Cam felt the urge to comment on the impracticality of her remarks but stopped herself in time. “As illogical it is, I’m right there with you. I made Sharon promise repeatedly not to be a hero. And yet, if the mission called for it, I fully expect her to do something risky. She can’t help it. I’m pretty sure being a Marine is in her DNA.”
“Oh God, she sounds like Mags. Looks like we both fell for gung ho Marines.”
Cam sighed. “We’re so screwed.” And yet, talking with someone else who understood their situation left her feeling lighter. Lane didn’t fill the massive Sharon sized hole in her chest, but she covered it temporarily.
Chapter 16
November 17, 2004
Cam barely remembered her drive home, spending the bulk of it planning how to explain the day’s events without risking Gunny. She started writing her letter to Sharon as soon as she got home.
17 November 2004
You aren’t going to believe this, but my worlds collided today. Remember the calculus professor I mentioned, the one with the amusing accent? It turns out they’re friendly with a certain former drill instructor. They’ve known each other for over a year.
You should have seen us when we figured it out. I could have gone the whole semester not knowing how much we had in common if I hadn’t almost failed a quiz. I’ve never been more happy to do poorly in school.
As we talked, they made a request. If anything happens to our mutual friend, could I let them know? They might not be notified in the event of injury. If anything happens, please have someone call me as soon as they are able. I’ll pass along the message.
Cam debated whether to include a message to Gunny. Would it be weird? This was definitely crossing into personal territory when she wasn’t invited. But she’d already stumbled into Gunny’s world, it wasn’t like she could pretend she hadn’t. And certainly Dr—Lane, would tell Gunny they’d met. She’d have to say something.
Can you pass along the extra note I’m sending? I could send a letter directly but that feels even stranger and you’ve never had a problem approaching people. Thanks.
Cam signed the letter with her initial and the infinity symbol and took a blank page to write to Gunny. She stared at the page. What was the appropriate way to address Gunny? Dear Gunny felt too… touchy feely. Hey was entirely too informal, as was hi. In the end, the best she could do was keep it simple.
Gunny,
I’m sure by now our mutual friend explained today’s events. We had a good talk after class. I hope I didn’t cross any lines by explaining what I knew about life in Iraq, but they needed to know and made a convincing argument. Either way, I’ve made myself available if they need to talk to someone who understands.
Since they don’t seem the type to brag, you should know that your friend is an excellent professor and my favorite this semester. You should be proud. Not that I’m telling you what to feel, just thought you should know.
I trust you’re doing your best to keep everyone safe there. I’ll do the same here.
Semper Fi.
Cam left the letter unsigned for an added layer of protection and added it to the envelope for Sharon.
***
Two days later Cam stopped by Dr. Chapman’s office before class. Lane hadn’t called, but Cam wanted to make sure she was doing alright, just in case she didn’t feel comfortable reaching out yet.
Cam knocked lightly on the doorframe. “Dr. Chapman?”
“Cam, what can I do for you? Still struggling with the material?”
“No, ma’am, just wanted to check on you after our talk. Were you able to sleep any better?
Lane smiled softly. “Strangely enough, I did. Thank you, both for checking on me and indulging my curiosity.”
“Glad I could help. I sent out a letter yesterday to create our phone tree. Now we can return to waiting.” Cam purposely avoided mention of Gunny’s letter as that was between them.
“Just four more months of worry, right?” Lane observed. “At least we can distract ourselves with the beauty of calculus.”
That made Cam grin. “Somehow I don’t see Gunny, or Sharon for that matter, agreeing with you about calculus.”
Lane stood, gathering her papers as she did. “That’s their loss.”
***
Sharon’s response came impressively fast, less than two weeks later.
You have some unbelievable luck! I’m glad you have someone else to talk to and help through this time.
Remember last year when we went to the World Cup and I saw them in the crowd? I said they looked like more than friends and you said I was imagining things? I confirmed that I was right. Never doubt my people skills.
Cam laughed. She’d forgotten all about that moment, too caught up in the excitement of the crowd. Besides, only Sharon saw her. By the time Cam looked Gunny was swallowed by the crowd.
As for your request, it’s covered. Nothing to worry about, though I wouldn’t expect a call. It’s rare for rockets to hit close to base, much less inside it. I still take every warning seriously, don’t worry. I’m always quick to the bunkers so I can keep my promise.
If the mail moves fast enough, you should get this letter before Thanksgiving. I assume you’ll be at Thayer’s place. Eat an extra slice of pie for me, please. Wish I was there to enjoy it with you.
We’re halfway through this deployment. Before long it will be March and I’ll be home and everything will be back to normal.
Take care of yourself. Tell your new friend not to worry.
Also, our mutual friend sent you a note back. Enjoy!
Cam pulled out the second piece of paper.
Thank you.
P.S. Don’t let the accent override your distaste for blondes.
M.
Cam burst out laughing. The note was all Gunny, short and to the point. Then her mind kicked in, less than helpful. What did Gunny mean? Was that a grateful thanks or a begrudging one? A jealous warning? And what exactly did Sharon tell her about Cam’s distaste for blondes?
One thing she knew, Sharon and Gunny were talking about more than Sharon was willing to say in her letters. That had to be beneficial for both of them, which brought Cam comfort.
Chapter 17
November 25, 2004
Thanksgiving break was a welcome relief after the emotional chaos of early November. Cam didn’t even mind getting up early to help Danielle with Gemma. As instructed, Cam knocked quietly upon her arrival at 6 a.m., so as not to wake Gemma. But when Danielle answered the door, Gemma was right there, clutching tight to her mom’s leg.
