A cursed heart, p.9
A Cursed Heart, page 9
Freya, in a rare show of trust, smiled. Kids had a sense about people, didn’t they? “Will you walk me to school with Daddy?”
“School? You must be very clever.” Freya beamed at the compliment. He was good. “Alright, we can walk together, but only if you eat your fruit. You need to grow strong.”
When Mal reached for his silverware, the t-shirt, an old one of mine, shifted, showing off the marks on his skin that looked like tattoos of a snake, or more accurately, like his tail.
“Daddy, Mal has patterns!” To Mal she asked. “Are you a demon?”
Simultaneously, Lydia and I coughed and spluttered.
“Oh, you are clever? Would you be scared of me if I said yes?”
Freya shook her head. “No, Jinu is a good demon, he helped Rumi.”
Mal frowned. “I do not know these demons, but I promise to help you and your daddy.”
Happy with that, Freya continued to eat her breakfast. I shared a look with my sister, both of us completely disbelieving what had just happened.
Neither Mal nor Freya seemed upset. I decided to let it slide. Netflix had done me a solid with that movie. Freya had found it a bit later than most kids since she hadn’t been interested in the TV much until she hit pre-K. Then it was a case of her catching up with the trends. I wished they’d hurry up with the sequel though.
I tipped my cup at Mal to reheat my coffee once more, which he did with a smile. Magic was so fucking handy.
Any reservations I had about letting Mal stay out of the gem and in my apartment with my kid, all melted away at how the two of them interacted over the rest of breakfast. It was like I wasn’t there. The two of them chatted away like old friends, with Freya telling Mal everything about her life in Daddy’s apartment and her new school. She hadn’t talked so much in months. This was a glimpse of who she was months ago, before this all happened. Back to how she was before Jasmine’s boyfriend entered her life and dulled her shine. I loved it. They even swapped food back and forth, with Freya trying other fruits she’d wrinkled her nose at only days ago.
Mal shone next to her, occasionally shooting looks my way, as if checking it was okay to take up all of Freya’s attention. As I enjoyed my fourth cup of coffee that morning, I realized I could get used to it being like this.
“Look, I’m sure you know what you’re doing, just be careful, okay?” Lydia warned before she took off for college. She had classes in an hour and wanted to get back home to shower first. With how often she crashed in Freya’s room, I would have thought she would have left some clothes here. Nope, she wanted it to remain our space where she was just a visitor.
“Do you think I’m making a mistake having Mal here?” Lydia’s intuition about people was better than mine.
Lydia barely thought about it. “No. He obviously cares about you, which means he’ll treat Freya well, too. Unlike some of those girlfriends you’ve had.” Lydia held a grudge, and I didn’t blame her. “His magic would be useful too. He was so cute with her over breakfast!”
“Yeah, he was.”
“I know I don’t need to tell you this, but maybe you need to hear it. It’s okay if you catch feelings for him. He’s hot.”
A burning sense of… envy? That was the wrong word. Jealousy, maybe? I couldn’t name it. Still, it scalded my insides like hot lava. I felt a lump of something vile in my throat and had to swallow it down.
“Do you want me to set—” I attempted to offer.
“Don’t even finish that sentence, Ry. He likes you. Barely noticed me.” Lydia didn’t even sound offended, just amused.
“But he’s a man…”
“So?” She gave a careless shrug. “No one cares. Love is love and all that.”
“What about Mom?”
Lydia scoffed. “Mom wouldn’t care as long as the person you love treats you well. The dude has literal magic! I think she would be happy to have a demon for a son-in-law!”
“You really don’t care?”
“Not at all. Just be careful with this Salvatore stuff and be open with how you feel.”
I huffed out a laugh. “I’m not even sure I’ve got feelings for him.”
“Then this conversation doesn’t matter. As long as you know me and Mom will accept any partner you have. You deserve happiness, Ry.”
“So do you, Liddy. Now get out of here before you’re late to class and blame me. I’ve got to get Freya ready for school.”
Lydia called out a goodbye to Freya and Mal, not that they were paying attention. Freya was showing Mal her favorite movie on the big TV, singing along to the songs while Mal grumbled, “Those aren’t demons,” under his breath.
“Come on, Frey, you need to get ready.”
Mal trailed us to her bedroom, where I searched for a Freya approved outfit for the day, then helped her dress. She was getting the hang of buttons, but some of the fastenings on her clothes could be tricky for little fingers.
People stared at us while we walked to the school. We must have looked weird, two dudes, one with waist-long fire-red hair tied in a neat braid, walking with a little girl mangling Korean pop songs between us. It was the best start to a day I’d had in a long time.
At the school, Freya’s teacher greeted us. “Morning, Ryan, Freya. Who’s this you’ve got with you today?”
“This is Daddy’s friend, Mal,” Freya said confidently, her joy shining from every pore. “He is going to draw with me after school.”
“Well, that’s lovely! Nice to meet you, Mal. I’m Ms. Matthews, Freya’s teacher.”
Though Freya had joined the school later on in the year, she had settled in well because of Ms. Matthews. I kind of wished she could be Freya’s teacher for kindergarten, but that looked unlikely.
“Hello.” Mal flashed her a pleasant smile, earning himself one in return. I felt another prickle of that unnamed emotion.
“Ryan, if Mal is going to pick Freya up at any point, don’t forget to let the office know. He’ll also need the password.”
“Right, thanks.” Mal gave me a questioning look. “Security stuff. I’ll explain later.” It made sense to put him on the list just in case I had to work late or something happened to me. His magic would be useful for protecting Freya, too, like Lydia had pointed out.
Freya waved before dashing inside to her friends. I took Mal to the office to register him as an approved pickup person and explained the password thing to him on our walk home.
When it was just the two of us in the house, the silence was a little strained. I was so aware of him, of what he was, and how he was making me feel, that it left me feeling off balance. He always stood a little too close, and though I didn’t really mind it, I was aware that he touched me a lot. I guess he was trying to flirt, which I would not find cute!
“I need to clock in for work. Want me to show you the TV and maybe TikTok? Let you get caught up on things?”
“If you don’t mind. I’d like to learn more. Maybe finish the movie Freya was showing me.”
Yeah, any worries I had there were gone. He obviously cared about her already. “It’s cute that you two get on so well.”
“You don’t mind?”
“Why would I?”
“Essentially, I am the help. You do not have to treat me as a friend, but you have. I do not want to overstep any boundaries.”
“And that is why I’m alright with it. You care about what I care about. Freya loves you already.”
He stared at me for a moment, in borrowed clothes, his formerly neat braid slightly windblown, looking bashful. It was pretty fucking endearing, truthfully.
“Would you mind showing me how the shower works?”
“Oh, shit, yeah.” I led him to the bathroom and demonstrated how to turn it on. We were kind of pressed together in the small space. There wasn’t much room for two people to really move around in the stall. It made me aware of him in a way I’d never experienced with a guy before.
I could feel my cheeks getting hot. With a cough, I backed away. “I’ll lay out more clothes for you and order you some stuff of your own. We could go shopping, but I need to get work done.”
“It’s fine. I don’t mind wearing your clothes, Ryan.”
“Still, I’d rather you have stuff of your own. Favorite color?”
He considered the question for a moment. “Blue, like the sky. It has been a long time since I have seen it. What is your favorite?”
Looking at him, the bright red hair startling in its vibrancy, it was easy to find my answer. “Red.”
Finding Mal something to wear and picking out some basics for him only took a few minutes. I logged on and read my emails while I waited for him to be done in the shower. As I suspected, he took a long time. How long had it been since he’d been given the luxury of bathing? Did his other owners keep him in the gem instead of beside them like a person?
Mal had mentioned me treating him like a friend, not a servant, which had me wondering about his life. I couldn’t bear the thought of putting him back in the heart ruby. His place was with me and Freya, as weird as that adjustment was. I felt strangely comfortable around him. Well, until he got too close that I could feel the warmth of his skin, then my heart would skip a beat.
When he returned to the living room, his long, damp hair loose and wearing borrowed clothes, I was glad all his other owners were dead so I didn’t have to kill them. How could any of them treat him so poorly?
We passed the day with me working in a nook in the living room I’d set up as an office. When Freya was home, she knew to be quiet if I was on calls, though that wasn’t often. I conducted most of my discussions via a messenger system while coding whatever we were working on. Mal was just as considerate as Freya, though he did ask me questions from time to time.
I was on a rare call when pickup time approached. I hadn’t thought I’d need Mal to get Freya for me so quickly. Holding the phone away from my ear, I whispered, “Mal, could you get Freya?”
“Of course!” He beamed at me before putting on the shoes and hoodie I had loaned him. Being similar in size was so useful. It made shopping for Mal a breeze. I hoped he liked what I’d bought him. One day shipping for the win.
When they returned, they were both laughing at something. Freya was being carried, her eyes sparkling and hair looking windswept. “Daddy, Mal is strong! He says it’s because he eats broccoli. Can we have it for dinner?”
Whatever spell he had cast on her, hell, on me too, I didn’t want it to break. He fit with us.
We felt like a real family when we ate beef with broccoli and rice for dinner. Freya ate almost everything on her plate and went to sleep without a fuss, though only once Mal had read to her. I’d been completely replaced as favorite.
That night when we got into bed, I was filled with a sense of nervous anticipation.
“Would you like me to sleep on the couch?” Mal offered. “It’s quite comfortable.”
“No. Here is fine… I… just… ignore me. I’m overthinking things.”
Deep down, where I’d never admit it, I wanted to sleep next to Mal. Maybe I was obsessed with him, like a new toy or something. Once the novelty wore off, I’d go back to normal.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really. I’m… it’s just been a wild day. Wow, I can’t believe I’ve only known you a day.”
Mal had slotted seamlessly into the holes in my life already. It didn’t make sense.
“Do you regret it? Picking up the stone?”
I took a moment to think about that. With everything I was feeling, all that had happened in the last day, did I wish I hadn’t picked up the ruby? When I thought of Mal being under Salvatore’s control. Of missing out on the time we’d spent together. Even Freya’s smiles and drawings with Mal. I realized I couldn’t regret a moment of it.
“No. I’m glad you’re here.”
“I am too.”
A Demon... Friend?
Ryan
Listening to Mal breathing next to me was more soothing than I would have guessed. I missed it; the casual intimacy, which had nothing to do with sex when having a partner. Sleeping next to someone, brushing by them with a touch to the hip, or holding hands while doing something mundane, like watching TV. Okay, I missed sex, too, but hadn’t realized how much I needed intimacy as well.
Mal was always touching me, and far from hating it, I liked it. I soaked up each tiny touch like a flower did with the sun.
I shouldn’t have felt comfortable with Mal for so many reasons, the main being he was a demon. Although I’d seen it with my own eyes, I didn’t truly believe he was something bad. Other, sure, just not evil. Maybe because in my head a demon was just a name for a magical person. Okay, he had a wicked cool tail and horns to go with the demonic image. Still, he wasn’t bad. How could anyone be when they spent the afternoon singing Golden with a five-year-old?
Yeah, Mal had watched the film twice while Freya was at school, just so he knew the words to the songs when she got home. He had a fantastic singing voice, too. Freya loved him, and I… well, there was something there between us. I didn’t want to name it or put too much thought into it. Whatever happened, happened, basically.
The other reason I shouldn’t have felt so safe around him was that he was a guy. As a self-proclaimed straight man, I was questioning my beliefs. Was it only because he was magical, so foreign from any guy I’d ever known, or was it his innate sweetness that had charmed me?
Ugh, I mentally chastised myself. Here I was dwelling on what Mal was coming to mean to me when I said I would go with the flow.
I stayed awake for a long time, watching Mal sleep next to me. Or so I thought.
“Go to sleep, Ryan. You’re going to be too exhausted to work tomorrow.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry. Can’t turn my brain off.” I flipped onto my side, getting closer to him.
“Want a hand with that?” he murmured suggestively.
My brain went offline for a second. Finally I spluttered out, “No…” My denial sounded weak. I changed the subject instead of confronting it. “Tell me about your past. In the demon realm.”
He turned to face me in the semi-darkness of the room. The lights from other buildings, streetlights and the stars shone through the blinds on the window, giving me the chance to study his face. His features were sharp; a pointed chin, chiseled jaw, blade-like nose, angular dark eyes. Attractive and slightly dangerous.
“I worry you won’t trust me anymore once you know what I did.” His expression was pained.
Part of me wanted to soothe him with my touch. I just wasn’t ready for what that meant. “Mal, you know what I did to Jasmine. It might have been an accident, but I knew there was a chance she might use those drugs.” Of course, I’d known there was a decent chance she was lying about being in recovery. “I feel awful about it for Freya, because it took away her mom, not for what I did.” Which was the crux of the matter. I did not care that I’d killed a person I’d once loved. It made me a truly awful person.
“What you did was an accident—”
“I knew it would kill her boyfriend.”
Mal gave a half-shrug. “You took a terrible man out of the world before he could do more harm.”
“Maybe, but it’s still murder.” I’d confronted what I’d done. If given the choice of going back in time, I’d probably do the same thing.
“You didn’t make him use those drugs. He could have put them in the trash instead of in his body,” Mal pointed out.
“True. And I’m sure you had reasons for what you did in your past.”
“Nothing but youth and greed.”
“Tell me,” I urged. “I don’t want secrets between us. It’s part of what ended mine and Jasmine’s relationship.”
“If you are sure…” I nodded. “I hope you do not see me differently when you hear it all.” Mal let out a sigh. “Growing up, I was the youngest. You would think that I was coddled for it. I was not. Often I was ignored, dismissed. Everything I was given were scraps. Even my land when I came of age was a territory no one else wanted. Naturally, I grew resentful. I will spare you all of my misdeeds. I would steal, lie, harm other demons in my quest for more power and influence. It took some time, but I grew a reputation for my magic. With it came followers. I got it into my head that I should be king. My brother, Dagda, was the king after defeating our father for the throne.”
Mal frowned. “It was a dark time with few people to trust. Too many were in my ears, telling me I would be a better king. They told me that Dagda was failing our kingdom. There were battles where I killed many. I was cast out, forced to remain in my corner of the kingdom where Dadga’s people could keep an eye on me. Eventually, I learned about the heart ruby. You know what happened then.”
He was silent for a long time. “Does that change how you see me?”
“No. If anything, it makes you more human.”
“That’s the last thing that I am,” he grumbled with a sardonic smile.
I laughed. “Yeah, fair. Okay, it makes you more real. Like you’re a person underneath the horns and tail.” Said tail reached for me, wrapping around my wrist with a strangely gentle touch before it moved to rest on my hip. “With all the petty jealousy and hurt feelings that come with it.” This time, I did reach out to him. I twirled a strand of his long scarlet hair around my finger. “I think that it makes us similar. We’ve both done shitty things thinking we had good reasons for them.”
Mal squeezed the hand in his hair. “I do not think you are the same as me, Ryan. Your soul shines.”
“How about I decide that, huh? If I could see your soul, I bet it would shine just the same as mine.”
I was getting used to waking up with Mal in my bed, in my arms. It felt natural to have him there. Even the weight of his tail wrapped around my leg had begun to feel familiar. I hoped that once the drama with Salvatore was over, we could concentrate on getting him free. Maybe then we could figure out what this was without added pressure on us.
