I wasnt supposed to fall.., p.11
I Wasn't Supposed To Fall For You, page 11
“What subject do you want to work on first?” I ask him.
He shrugs. “I don’t really care.”
We stand there staring at each other, our eyes scanning up and down our bodies. My eyes drift to his lips, reminding me of the amazing kiss we shared earlier.
Kiss him, Mary-Kate, a voice tells me. You know you can’t deny your feelings for Jordan. Don’t let Kyle hold you back. You know the kiss you shared with him earlier didn’t mean anything compared to when you kissed Jordan.
I lean forward, watching Jordan as his eyes drift to my lips. He closes the gap between us. My arms automatically slip around his neck, pulling him closer to me. He places his hands on my waist. I let one of my hands move to the back of his head, running my hand through his hair.
Jordan slips a hand under my shirt, roaming it up my back. My skin tingles from his touch. We pull a part for a second as Jordan spins me around, pushing me up against the fridge door behind me. I hear some magnets falling onto the floor. I gasp when Jordan moves his lips to my neck, sucking on my skin.
“Please, do not leave a hickey,” I tell him. I can’t imagine what everyone would say if he had left one there.
“I won’t,” he says.
He then moves back to my lips. I can feel the excitement in his pants as he presses himself against me. He then lifts me off the floor, and I wrap my legs tightly around his waist and wrap my arms around him to hold on. He moves us away from the fridge, leaving the kitchen. He stumbles, almost dropping me, but manages to steady himself as he carries me to his room.
He lies me down on his bed, hovering on top of me. He strokes my hair as we stare at each other, getting our breath back.
“Wow,” he says.
“Yeah.”
He connects his lips with mine again. He pushes the sleeve of my shirt down on my shoulder, and nibbles gently on my skin. That’s going to leave a hickey. I just know it will, and I hope Kyle doesn’t see it at all. He brings his lips to mine again. I reach for the hem of his shirt and was going to pull it over his head, when I stop myself.
I push him off me. “Jordan, stop.” He listens to me and pulls away. “We need to stop before we go further.”
He sits up. “I know. Sorry. I got carried away a little.” He looks down at his pants and blushes, cursing softly.
He reaches for a pillow and places it on his lap. We sit there in silence. My mind felt blank and all I can think about is the amazing, thrilling kiss we had just shared.
“I have never kissed a girl like that before,” Jordan says without looking at me. “I have kissed girls before, but never like that.”
My stomach does a somersault. “I have made out with Kyle countless times, but never like that.”
He looks up at me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I know you’re with Kyle.”
I smile at him. “It’s okay. I wanted to kiss you.”
“So what do we do now? I mean we both know we can’t be together.”
“I don’t know. I think I might be starting to like you even though I still want to be with Kyle.” I lay down on the bed. “This wasn’t supposed to happen, Jordan. You and me.”
He lays down beside me. “I know.”
I turn to face him, holding my head up with my hand as I rest my elbow on the bed. “What made you start to like me?”
He turns to look at me, the butterflies returning in my stomach. “I like how you are so caring and you don’t stop until you have helped someone. Most people would have given up on me, especially when I overdosed on aspirin. You could have left me to die there, but you didn’t.”
I smile at him. “Of course I didn’t. What kind of person would I be if I’d left you to die?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know.”
“You know, I didn’t want to tutor you because I thought there was no point in helping you. But Mr. Heckenberg kept saying he wanted me to work with you. He believed I was the only person who could get your grades up.”
“Thank you, even though I couldn’t care less about failing school.”
“You deserve to pass even if you don’t end up going to college.”
“Have you got into any colleges yet?”
I nod. “Stanford.”
“Congratulations.”
I smile. “Thanks.”
“So, um, should we do some studying now?”
I nod and get off the bed. Jordan follows me into the kitchen where we sit down, deciding to look over chemistry.
Chapter 16
I didn’t see the hickey on my shoulder until I was getting dress that evening. I stare at my reflection in the mirror where I was standing there in my pyjama pants and bra. The small hickey Jordan had given me was hidden beneath the bra strap. I unclasp my bra, dropping it at my feet, and run my fingers over it, closing my eyes as I picture Jordan kissing me. My head spins a little as I replayed our make out session in my head. It makes me wonder why I have never kissed Kyle like that.
A knock from my window snaps me back to reality. I swiftly cover my chest with my arms, spinning around to see Kyle at my window. My cheeks burn, hoping he didn’t see me fantasising over Jordan.
I put on my shirt and head for the window, opening it. “Kyle, what are you doing here? You know you can’t be in my room, especially when my parents are home.”
“Really?” he says, frowning. “As your own boyfriend I’m not allowed in your room, but Jordan Gates is?”
I shiver briefly at the sound of Jordan’s name. I hope Kyle didn’t notice the shiver. What do I even say if he does ask? It’s not even cold out so I can’t use the weather as an excuse.
I help Kyle inside. “It was only one time, Kyle. It was only so he could sober up.” And there was another time when I brought him over after he had dragged me into the shower in the locker room, I silently add. We were about to head out to the coffee shop when my mother came home.
“Right.” He crosses his arms across his chest. “Anyway, where were you this afternoon?”
“I was tutoring Jordan.”
He shakes his head, the frown still on his face as he unfolds his arms. “How long does it take to tutor that jerk? You said you were coming over to mine at five. It’s now eight o’clock. You haven’t even answered my calls.”
I place my hand over my mouth, gasping. “Kyle, I’m so sorry! I forgot all about it. I was meant to be tutoring Jordan for an hour, and we must have lost track of time.”
“What were you doing in front of the mirror when I came to the window? It looked like you were daydreaming about something.”
My heart stops beating in my chest. What do I say about the hickey? “Oh, I hurt my shoulder today, and I was just massaging it.”
Kyle stands behind me and put his hands on both of my shoulders, massaging it gently. I let a moan escape my lips as soon as he rubbed my shoulders. Kyle gives one of the best massages ever. His mother works at a massaging place so I guess he must have learned it from her.
“How is that?” he asks.
“It feels great,” I reply, enjoying it even though I was never in pain at all.
I close my eyes. I picture Jordan standing behind me, massaging my shoulders. I then feel his hands run down my arms and rest on my waist. I can feel his hot breath against my skin as he leans in closer to me. He kisses my neck and slips a hand under my shirt. My body trembles from the touch of his hand as he rubs my stomach.
“I want you to stop seeing Jordan,” Kyle says out of nowhere, interrupting my daydream.
My eyes snap open and I whirl around to face Kyle. “What?”
“You heard me. I want you to stop seeing him.”
“I can’t. I promised Mr. Heckenberg I will help him.”
He rolls his eyes. “Well, I’m your boyfriend and I say stop it. You have been hanging out with him way too much.” He rests his hands on my waist. “It feels like I haven’t been able to see you much because you are always helping him.”
“I haven’t always been with him. Tomorrow, I will be working so I won’t be seeing him.” My heart sinks with sadness, knowing I won’t be seeing Jordan at all tomorrow. I wish I could. “I’m so sorry my tutoring sessions have been taking up so much time. We can hang out after my shift tomorrow.”
“I want you to stop seeing him all together, MK.” He doesn’t say if he wants to hang out with me tomorrow.
My world around me feels like its crashing. How do I stop seeing Jordan when all I can think about is him? Or when I have a few classes with him? It wasn’t going to be an option to just stop seeing him when we attend the same school as each other.
“What about my extra credit for college?” I say. “It’s so important for me to get it for my college application.”
“Ask Mr. Heckenberg for someone else.”
My heart sinks deep in my chest. Why doesn’t Kyle believe how important this is to me? “Why do you hate Jordan so much? What has he ever done to you?”
“He is a pathetic loser. He acts like he is cool, but he isn’t. His dad is in jail and his mother is an alcoholic. He will probably turn out just like them someday.”
I frown at him, giving him a shove, not liking what he was saying about Jordan. He has said it too many times and I wasn’t going to let him get away with saying it anymore. “Don’t say that about him or anyone.”
“What? It’s true, MK.”
I sit down on my bed, crossing my arms across my chest. “It’s not nice to talk like that about people.”
“It’s not like he can hear us.”
“You wouldn’t like it if someone spoke like that about you.”
He sits down beside me. “Why would you care all of a sudden about what I say about Jordan? You don’t like him, do you?”
Yes! No! Maybe! I don’t know!
“No!” I say straight out. “Kyle, never think that I like someone else when you know perfectly well that I will never cheat on you for another guy.”
Liar!
“How do I know you won’t?” he says.
“Kyle, we have been together for six months. I love you. I would never cheat on you for anyone.”
He cups his hands around my face, stroking my cheek with his thumb. “I know. Forget I ever asked you that question. I’m just upset that we haven’t spent a lot of time together for the past few days.”
“We can still do something.”
“I wish you didn’t have that job. I hardly get to spend time with you because of it, especially when your parents have a stupid curfew.”
“I’m working to pay for college.”
“I know.”
He leans forward and closes the gap between us. I return the kiss. It doesn’t feel right, not the way it did with Jordan. But I have to return the kiss or he will know something is up between Jordan and me.
Kyle pushes me gently down on the bed and climbs on top of me. He kisses me deeply, moving his lips down my throat and nibbling on my collarbone. I moan softly. Jordan drifts into my mind as I picture him as my boyfriend, imaging him doing this to me. I know I shouldn’t be thinking about him while I’m with Kyle, but I couldn’t help it.
Kyle moves his hands down to my waist, his fingers moving along the hem of my shirt where he pushes it up, exposing my stomach. It sends a tingling sensation throughout my body as he plants kisses there. He then started to push shirt up more, ready to slip it off and that’s when I panic. What if he finds the love bite on my shoulder? What do I say?
I push Kyle off me before he goes any further. “Kyle, please stop.”
He listens and sits up. “Why?”
I sit up as well, pushing my shirt down. “I just don’t think we should be doing this here right now. My parents are downstairs. They could come up here any time.” It wasn’t a lie to hide the hickey Jordan had given me. I really was terrified if one of my parents was to come up here and find Kyle in my room. Near eight thirty, they will come up to make sure I am in bed by nine.
He rolls his eyes. “Really, MK? You’re so worried about your parents finding me in here, but you allowed Jordan to spend the entire night here?”
Without another word, he gets off my bed and climbs out my window. I stay on my bed, watching him leave, not even bothering to see if he needs any help getting down. I lay down on my bed once he was gone, wishing Kyle wasn’t so hateful towards Jordan. He has never done anything to Kyle, or to anyone at school. I wish there was a way to show people that Jordan can be a good person, even if he acts like a total badass in school. I guess people just haven’t seen his sweet side.
***
I had chemistry first thing in the morning. The thoughts of sitting through the lesson with Jordan gave me butterflies. I practically skipped to class.
For once, when I walked into the classroom Jordan actually was there before me. I have never seen him early for class, except for the day where he had tripped me over after he pushed Kyle and me in the corridor. He smiles at me as soon as I walk into the classroom, sending my heart into a leap for joy.
“You’re early,” I say.
“I know. I wanted to see you.”
I sit down beside him. “So, am I going to be the only reason why you will ever show up to class early?”
“Maybe.”
He looks down at my hand that’s on the desk. He reaches over and covers his hand over mine, sending electric sparks through my body from the touch. He then moves forward to kiss me.
I pull back before his lips could touch mine. “Jordan, we shouldn’t.” It wasn’t because I didn’t want him to kiss me, because I did. It was just that we were in school. We may be alone in the classroom right now, but anyone could walk in at any time or even see us when they walk by the classroom. What do we say if we are caught kissing or holding hands? Word will get out quickly, and I don’t want to know what Kyle will say when he finds out.
Jordan gives me an apologetic smile, removing his hand from mine and folds his arms on the table. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. Not here. I keep forgetting you’re with Kyle.”
I return a sad smile. “Yes, I am.”
He glances towards the door to see if anyone is coming before turning to me. “Listen, Mary-Kate, I know you’re with Kyle, but I was wondering if you would like to go out with me?”
I stare at him with my mouth open wide, surprise he was even asking me that question. What do I say? Yes? What if someone finds out about us?
Before I get to tell him my answer, people start walking in. I didn’t want anyone to hear my answer so I rip a piece of paper out from the back of my notebook and wrote: YES.
Chapter 17
Jordan didn’t have a lot of money, but he was still willing to take me out. I had to work this afternoon, but I told him we could hang out as soon as I’m finished my shift. Normally, I don’t work on Tuesdays, but tonight I was filling in for someone. We both agreed that meeting each other outside the coffee shop wasn’t such a good idea in case Keegan or Kyle were there. I didn’t want either of them getting suspicious if Jordan was there. I mean, I can’t always be using our tutoring sessions as an excuse, can I? Jordan said he will text me to let me know where to meet him later.
Keegan showed up to the coffee shop. She stood near the counter, sipping on her ice coffee while I served customers.
“Have you notice how Jordan’s behaviour has changed?” Keegan asks me.
I pour the coffee into the cup. “What do you mean?”
“He hasn’t been getting into trouble much in school.”
I pour milk in next, stirring it. “Really? I haven’t taken much notice.” Of course, that was a lie. I have been noticing, but I’m not about to tell Keegan the real truth behind the reason. I mean, none of the students I have helped with their school work has ever changed their behaviours. Why would Jordan be any different? What would Keegan say if she knew Jordan had feelings for me and it’s one of the reasons why he hasn’t been disrupting class and arriving to class on time?
I place the lid on the coffee and handed it to a customer. I started on my next order.
“How can you not have noticed his behaviour?” Keegan asks. “You’ve been tutoring him.”
I pour the milk in. “I know. Maybe Mr. Heckenberg said something to him. Last time he wouldn’t cooperate with me, he said he was going to talk to him about his behaviour.” Stop lying to Keegan and tell her the truth about you and Jordan.
But I can’t tell her because I know exactly what she will say. She will disapprove of me being with him.
“Yeah, maybe. Oh, don’t forget we have another prom committee meeting tomorrow at lunch.”
I nod. “I won’t forget.”
***
As much as I love my job, I couldn’t wait for my shift to be over. A bubbly feeling in the pit of my stomach grew, knowing I will be seeing Jordan soon. I say goodbye to Keegan and then text my mom to let her know I was going to stay out for a bit. I couldn’t tell her I was hanging with Jordan, so I told her I was working back late. It was the only way for me to get her to say yes. She told me to message her when I finished. I then messaged Jordan to tell him I was done with my shift.
Jordan replies back instantly, telling me to meet him outside the cinema. I drive over there. I look around for him and spot him standing at the entrance.
He waves at me, smiling. “Hey. I hope you don’t mind the movies. It’s the only thing I can afford. I was going to take you to a restaurant, but I didn’t have the money.”
“It’s okay, Jordan. A movie is good enough. I’m not fussy.”
“I will pay for the movie.”
We enter inside and purchase our tickets after we decided on a movie. One thing I like about Jordan is that he allowed me to watch a romance comedy. If it was Kyle, he would laugh and wonder why I want to watch a garbage movie like that, and force me to watch an action movie instead.
Jordan and I sit in the back corner of the theatre, hoping no one will see us. I didn’t see anyone I knew from school so I was glad for that.
Jordan must have seen how nervous I was about being caught. He reaches over and takes my hand into his, squeezing it tightly. “Hey, it’s okay. No one will see us.”
