Her him and i, p.4
Her Him and I, page 4
“I guess you are better than me.”
“Why?”
“I had an idea. I know it sounds rather silly, but I don’t want to let him off the hook too easily. Paul fooled us, played us, lied to us, and I think he deserves the same treatment from us.”
“What are you talking about?” Lea heaved.
“If we confuse him, we have a chance in tricking him into a confession. He needs to suffer for what he did,” Arabelle declared.
“I don’t know. I don’t like that idea.”
“Well, I think it will be good for both of us. To help heal the wounds. Get over the shock together. Commiserate over a common threat, so to speak.”
Instead of answering immediately, Lea’s breathing increased. Her heart pounded. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to meet up with Arabelle again. She was the other woman. Arabelle reminded her that Paul had pursued a different future. Come to think of it, would there be any future for her here in this town after this? She moved to Boston to be with Paul, to have a life together.
“We are both in the same boat,” Arabelle continued after Lea didn’t respond. “I know what you’re going through, and I don’t want to feel all alone in this situation or convince myself that this is all my fault despite knowing better. So, what do you think?”
“Let me sleep on it,” proposed Lea to create some space for herself to think, to let the situation and Arabelle’s request sink in. “I’ll text you tomorrow.”
“Sounds good to me,” Arabelle agreed.
“Great. Talk to you tomorrow.”
“Good night,” Arabelle sung before she hung up.
Lea's head was blank and full of confusion at the same time. Nothing made sense to her. What should she make out of this call? Arabelle’s request? Why should she meet up with Arabelle again? Was she right?
Lea did feel alone. No, that wasn’t the right word. She felt lonely. Abandoned. Like a rug had been pulled out from under her feet, sending her backwards into a black hole. And she hated that feeling. She hated that Paul caused this emotion. She hated that she fell in love with him. She hated that she decided to move her life for him to an area where she was not only alone, but lonely.
Perhaps Arabelle was right. Arabelle had reached out with an olive branch to share the burden of a discovered secret.
Arabelle stared at the phone lost in thought. She wasn’t sure if Lea would call her back the next morning. Unsure, and not able to do anything right at that moment, Arabelle decided to finally wrap up the day and prepare for bed. She brushed her teeth but then heard her phone ring.
Excited for Lea to have changed her mind so quickly, Arabelle spat the watered-down toothpaste out, dropped her brush, and sprinted into her bedroom. She fumbled with her phone but managed to answer the call before the device fell on the floor. Dampened by her beige carpet, the phone emitted a female voice, which called out. “Hello?”
Arabelle grabbed the phone to speak, “I am so sorry, Mirabelle. I completely forgot.”
“No worries, I had a good time with Jake. I just wanted to check that you’re alright,” explained Mirabelle.
“Jake? I still can’t get over the fact that you’re dating. But anyhow, how was the exhibition?”
“Well, it was good. There was a photo of Paul surfing in it. I’ll send you a picture.”
“Oh, what?”
“You okay?”
“Yeah… Well… I’ll tell you later. But I’m fine.”
“Okay, text me so we can meet for lunch.”
“I will,” Arabelle promised.
Chapter 9
Nothing new here
“You really didn’t notice anything?” David pushed. “Didn’t Arabelle’s behavior give anything away?”
Paul’s grip tightened on his glass. His eyes searched for a point on the ceiling. Moments later, they fell to the table. “No.”
David rubbed his forehead again. “Paul. You messed up.”
Paul shook his head. “Yep.”
“Not just for you, though.”
“What do you mean?”
“Yvette has been using the D word already. If she thinks I knew about it, that’s it.”
“D word?”
“Divorce.”
“Divorce? No. No way. You and Yvette? Why?”
“Yep. I don’t know. I finally agreed to couples counseling to find out, but she says it might be too late. Now this.” David pointed at Paul.
“I have nothing to do with your marriage.”
“Well, indirectly you do. If Yvette thinks I cheated on her or if she thinks I knew about you cheating on her best friend and kept this little tidbit from her, what do you think she’ll say?”
“That you are a good friend,” offered Paul with a subdued smile.
“Or a lousy husband,” declared David.
Chapter 10
Life, lives, and other intrigues
Arabelle pushed the door in to enter Amante Del Cibo. Only one couple occupied a table. The smell of freshly made pasta and tomato soup watered Arabelle’s mouth. She pulled out her mint box and placed the container on the table.
“Good morning, Arabelle,” greeted the restaurant owner.
“Good morning, Drusilla. I’ll just take a water and the lunch special. But I’m waiting for a friend,” Arabelle uttered.
“All right,” replied Drusilla.
Arabelle clenched her jaw, opening her mint box. Only one with writing displayed its letters. You’ve got it!
Arabelle let out a long breath. I’ve got it, she echoed in her mind to soothe the anxiety swelling up in her gut. The bell above the restaurant door announced the arrival of a new patron.
Arabelle’s and Lea’s eyes met as Lea crossed the small space. Arabelle stood up to extend a hand. Arabelle stood up, and they shook clammy hands. “Thanks for coming.” This woman is not the enemy. This woman is not at fault. Her reassuring words brought on a smile to Arabelle’s face.
“Honestly, I had my doubts even after you called me.”
“Me too, actually. It wasn’t easy. I am just so shocked that this happened to me.”
“I know what you mean. I feel very hurt as well by all this. But I can finally pinpoint this shift in our relationship. However, I had hoped this awkwardness between Paul and me was caused by other reasons. Instead, I’m learning to deromanticize my unfulfilled hopes and false expectations.”
Arabelle and Lea sat opposite each other. Lea bit her lips and Arabelle clenched her tea jar. Arabelle sighed. She pulled out her phone, called up a picture, and showed the display to Lea. “My little sister sent me this last night.”
The picture showed a framed photograph of a surfer on top of a wave. “Yes, I made that. Probably the day we met.” Under the display hung a white tag with the title: The South Shore Surfer. Location: Nantasket Beach, Hull, Photographer: Lea Evergreen.
“You know, he made that board,” Arabelle reminisced. “He spent a lot of time in Hull that summer.”
“He showed me his workshop. And the moment I saw his house, I fell in love with him.” Lea bit her lips and looked Arabelle in her eyes.
“I have the nagging feeling that I started off with him just like you did.”
Lea leaned forward. “What do you mean?”
“I think Paul was in another relationship when we started dating. But I ignored the signs. I was young, in love, and just happy that he gave me the time of the day. But now, I fear that this behavior wasn’t just a one-off.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Thanks, but it’s not your fault, nor was it mine. It’s all Paul’s fault.”
Both women regrouped while taking a sip from their glasses.
Arabelle’s voice cut through the tension. “Why haven’t you told him?”
“I don’t know. I think I had to process what happened myself first. What about you? Why haven’t you told him?” Lea countered.
“That’s a good question. I think for the same reasons as you, but I just can’t say that it is over. I don’t want him to get off the hook just like that.” Arabelle paused, and Lea pushed her eyebrows together. “I mean, he lied to both of us for months—for a year. Perhaps more often to me over the past decade for all I know. I just couldn’t let it go. I couldn’t let him go on continuing his shenanigans without a lesson, without a consequence.”
Lea played with her fingers and rubbed her lips against each other. “I understand what you’re saying, but I don’t think he’s the kind of guy who will see any fault in his behavior.”
“I agree. My best friend, Yvette, and I were talking and came up with an idea to help Paul understand the problem.”
“Idea?” Lea’s gloomy face paled.
“I think he’ll only learn, understand how it feels to be hoodwinked, if he gets betrayed and lied to, as well.”
“How would you go about it?”
“I don’t have a foolproof plan just yet. Only an idea, an inclination, a beginning to get the ball rolling.”
“Well…” Lea hedged.
“So, I was thinking for the beginning we could switch things—gifts Paul gave us, that identifies with each of us,” Arabelle explained.
“But that would mean that I would have to see him again.”
“Yes, but you already said that you planned to return his stuff to him.”
“You’re right,” Lea relented. “But I’m not sure if I can do what you’re proposing.”
“I understand your apprehension, but I want to see him—especially his face—when he realizes he got played by us. I completely understand if you don’t want to participate, but would you be willing to give me any gifts you received from him? You could look at it as a cathartic exercise. I would be happy to return everything to you once I showed Paul that I’m not just a toy to be shelved whenever he wants his attention to go to something newer and shinier.” Arabelle took a breath in and out to encourage herself. “I’m really hoping you’ll at least help me out this way. After all, if we don’t stick together, women will always be torn apart by men like him.”
“But if you start toying with Paul, wouldn’t it put you down on the same level as him?” Lea argued.
“Maybe, but he hurt me, and I want to hurt him. He was toying with me long before I realized. I want to show him exactly what it feels like to be played with.”
Both women let the words hang in the air.
“I don’t know,” Lea hesitated. “I don’t know if I want to participate in this. I don’t know if I want to see Paul again. I don’t think that I can play along and pretend that I know nothing. I am as transparent as cling film. I can’t keep secrets. I’m an open book.”
“What if we start by trading a couple of things to test us; to see if we can follow through?”
“What did you have in mind?”
“Maybe jewelry like earrings, or this bracelet.” Arabelle held up her right wrist. A silver, delicate metal chain with a butterfly charm swung on her wrist. “You could have it right now. He gave it to me after he came back from a trip to New York.” Arabelle took the flat silver bracelet off her arm and placed the jewelry on a green napkin.
The other woman looked at the sparkling metal. “I’m not sure…”
“Why don’t you take it home and sleep on it?” Arabelle soothed.
Lea lifted the metal chain off the napkin. An engraving on the flat surface read: Absence sharpens love. Presence strengthens it. She wrapped the bracelet in the moss-green fabric and placed the small package into her purse.
“So? How did it go?” Yvette bombarded her best friend the moment Arabelle answered her phone.
“I’m not sure,” Arabelle offered with a shrug. “She wasn’t really 100% in, but not out either.”
“She needs time to think about it. We already had that time to process, I guess,” Yvette proposed.
“I feel like a veil has lifted, a load taken off my shoulder, which reenergized my idea to part ways with Paul with layered steps. I don’t just want to rip the band-aid off. I want him to feel as insecure about what is happening as I used to.”
“So, what if Lea isn’t game?” Yvette asked.
“Well, that’s fine as well. I will adjust my plan. However, I gave her a bracelet Paul had given me. She didn’t say yet if she will wear it or even if she’ll meet up with Paul again. However, I asked her several times to share something with me. Even if she won’t help me directly, if she gives me something of hers that Paul recognizes, I will be happy to play this game alone. After ten years and who knows how many lies, I will not back down from this situation. He could have simply broken up with me when he thought Lea was a better partner for him, but now it’s game on.”
“Well, if I hear something from David, I’ll let you know.”
“How is it going between you two?” Arabelle asked.
“I think for him everything goes sort of semi-well, but I think I’ve had enough of family life. Of the routines, of being home. But my husband doesn’t understand where I’m coming from.”
“Perhaps we both have developed alongside each other, but not with our partners. If you need anything, I’ll be there for you,” Arabelle offered.
Chapter 11
Set in Motion
“Hey, babe!” Paul called out. Lea turned around. Paul opened his arms in an attempt to hug his girlfriend. Lea stood stiffly in front of him, turning her head to receive his kiss on her cheek instead of her lips.
“What have you been up to the last couple of days? I tried to call you. I came by, but no answer. You didn’t call back. I was worried,” Paul admitted.
“I’m sorry, but I had to work so much. We started a new project and discussed new materials—which ones we want to use, how many variations and editions we want to have. All that in addition to the anniversary exhibition. And now I think I caught a cold on top of everything else.” Her quiet voice thinned even more with the wind pushing fallen leaves along the ground on the path in the Esplanade.
“I am so happy to see you again. I missed you. It feels like we haven’t seen each other for an eternity.” To evade another hug from Paul, Lea turned toward the boat house watching small sails being hoisted.
“I didn’t know you liked sailing?” Paul remarked. “I would be happy to show you.”
“How about you?” Lea’s eyes glided over Paul’s.
“What about me? What do you mean?”
“What have you been up to?” Lea specified.
“I’m still working on getting my business up and running. Actually, it is already, but to establish it,” Paul explained.
“Can you hold this for me, please?” Lea handed Paul a one and a half-foot tall paper bag, and he gripped the handles. Lea peeled her jacket off. Arabelle’s bracelet sparkled in the sunlight. No gasp, no word, no puzzled expression plastered Paul’s face. No change in his attitude marked any recognition of the jewelry.
How could she have been so blind? How could she have not seen Paul for who he was?
“Have you been shopping?” Paul scanned the paper bag.
Lea flinched. “No, why?”
“The bag.” Paul held the bag up.
“No, no. I brought you all your belongings back. I'm hoping I got it all... everything you left at my apartment.”
“What? Why? What are you telling me?”
“I tried to get my place organized, and realized that I need to make space for my stuff before I can add other things. And, as you know, most of my boxes still litter every room. So, in an attempt to reorganize myself, and to see how many shelves I need and what I can repurpose, I thought it would be best to reduce as much as I can beforehand. Also, I haven’t left anything of mine at your place. Come to think of it, I haven’t even been to your place.”
“You’ve been. You’ve been to my place,” Paul countered.
“To Hull. Not here in the city!”
“Mmmmhhhh… But…” he began. Paul shrugged. He took Lea’s hand and stroked her skin.
Lea turned to him, enveloped his hands in hers, inspecting his eyes. “Also, as I just moved here, got a new job. I feel very overwhelmed. I want to establish myself, make new friends, find my bearings...”
“What are you saying?”
Lea straightened herself up. “I think we should slow down. You understand, don’t you?”
Paul’s face fell. “What?”
Lea mustered more courage. “You’re busy. Just like me. I think it will be good for us to give each other some space to grow professionally.”
“I don’t understand where this is coming from,” Paul deflected. “I don’t understand why you’re trying to mess up this arrangement and start a fight over it. What’s going on, Lea? You seem stressed and honestly a little aggressive.” Taken aback by Paul’s accusation and shift in tone and energy, Lea’s eyes watered. “And I was so hoping we could have had a great evening and night together,” he continued.
“As I said, I had long, stressful days where I learned a lot of new information,” Lea pressed out of her throat while holding her tears back.
She hated that her body showed emotions like that. It made this situation even worse. Lea didn’t cry because of what Paul said. But more so that Lea realized that this was not the man she knew, nor wanted to be with. She had seen men her whole life who didn’t take responsibility for their actions but deflected as much as they could.
Her tears made her look weak to Paul, and made him think that he won, that he could pressure her into doing what he wanted.
She hated men like that. Lea always wondered why this kind of man always got away with this behavior—never changing, never self-reflecting, just moving on to the next. Now she knew. Women like her made it happen. Never standing up, just letting things go. But not Arabelle. Arabelle wasn’t like her. Arabelle wanted to show him who he really was.
Chapter 12
Step Two
