Now, as he suckled her breast, as his hand meandered down her hip and her backside, she understood something else, too. This desire for him was physical, yes, but that was only the symptom, not the cause.

  She wanted him to be inside her, to fill her, to complete her. She’d waited a lifetime for this moment, for this man. She ran her hand through his hair, and that brought him away from her breast. He straightened until his gaze and hers locked, and for breathless moments she saw something completely new. She saw herself in her lover’s eyes. And she was beautiful.

  He slid down her body until she felt his hands on her knees. Gently, he spread her legs, then moved between them. She grabbed the covers with both hands as his head lowered to her sex.

  His warm breath made her tense; then his lips were on her and it was all she could do not to cry. And it just kept getting better.

  He licked her, slid his tongue inside, found the magic knob and coaxed it from under its hood, and then he sucked her until she thrashed and cried out. His tongue danced, and his finger entered her, teasing, thrusting, unlocking her secrets. Thoughts vanished, the world disappeared as she writhed under him. And then her body tensed, every muscle grew taut trembling, all the feelings she’d ever felt right there where his tongue was— She exploded.

  And, in the next moment, while the fireworks were going off one after another, he was at the gates of her sex, his thick, hot manhood slipping inside.

  She moved her hips up, wanting him, needing him. He moved slowly, steadily. When she looked at him, she saw the control, the cords on his neck, the concentration in his eyes. He was holding back so he wouldn’t hurt her.

  She didn’t care. Nothing mattered except having him inside her. All the way.

  “Do it,” she whispered. “Please. Make love to me, Chase.”

  “I might hurt you.”

  “I don’t care.” She lifted her hips again. “Please, Chase. Now.”

  He closed his eyes for a moment, opened them again, and as she gazed at his face, he thrust into her. One long, brilliant, unbelievable push until he had stretched her beyond anything she’d known before, until he was fully inside her, until they had become one.

  Tears came, but not from pain. From joy. From pleasure. From Chase.

  He made slow love to her, and as he did, his gaze never wavered. They connected, not just sexually but spiritually. Something magic passed between them, and she felt as if her fate and his combined to make two new beings. Or was it only one?

  She climaxed again, this time in a different way, a softer total body release. And after she finished, he started his climb. Moving faster, his muscles tense and his gaze electric, he thrust harder, harder, and then he gave a cry that was heaven and hell. She wrapped her legs around him, riding his climax, sharing the moment, loving the man.

  Loving the man.

  Everything changed. In the blink of an eye. On the crest of a wave. In the arms of her man.

  15

  CHASE STARED UP at the ceiling as Jamie slept, nestled in the crook of his arm. Now, he’d gone and done it. He’d crossed a line he’d avoided all his life. There was no couching it in softer terms, no denying the fact. He’d fallen in love.

  It wasn’t the sex, and yet it was. It wasn’t her little striptease, yet that was when it had first hit him. Then he’d entered her and realized he never wanted to leave. He wanted to be in her, part of her, with her, forever. Only, for him, forever wasn’t in the cards.

  How could he do this to her? To himself? Never before had he felt so much, so fiercely. He wanted to protect her, to care for her, to give her every gift known to man. He didn’t want to go to Paris or Budapest or anywhere that would take him from her side. No one had told him this was what love was like. He’d never suspected. It was consuming, blocking out the sun and the moon and the stars. It made him someone new.

  Just feeling her now, her leg curled around his, her hand on his chest, her warm breath against his skin, he wanted to make love to her again. And again.

  The way she looked at him, he knew it was true for her, too. She’d been bewitched, just as he had. Which meant that he was going to hurt her.

  Whether today, or next week or in the hour of his death, he was going to crush her with pain. He cursed his father, his genes. For the first time since the truth had come to him, he wanted to change his destiny. He wanted to live.

  “Jamie, what have you done?” he whispered, his gaze on her beautiful face. Mesmerized by her pale skin, by the way her eyelashes touched her cheeks, he yearned for something he couldn’t have.

  The thought of not telling her, of acting as if they had a lifetime ahead of them, was tempting. But it would be a lie, and he’d know it every day. He’d know that it was selfish—and how could he love someone so completely and care nothing for her feelings?

  It wasn’t fair. In fact, it was a cold, hard bitch—a cruel trick by an uncaring god.

  He loved her. It wasn’t something he could turn off like a faucet or pretend didn’t exist. He had to make some decisions, and he had to make them soon. Before Paris. If there was going to be a Paris.

  She stirred, and he wanted to make love to her again. But she was probably sore, and he didn’t want to hurt her that way, either. Three times, he’d been inside her. Three times, he’d had mind-blowing climaxes. Three times, he’d watched her shudder with release.

  He wanted her again, desperately, but instead he slipped out of bed, careful not to wake her. He went to the bathroom and started a bath. She’d need the warmth and the comfort after such a workout. He even added some bubble bath the hotel had provided.

  After a few moments, he went back into the bedroom. She was awake, and her smile made his insides go crazy. How was it possible to feel so much in such a short time? He’d never believed love could hit him like this, like a truck going sixty miles an hour. But he’d been struck, all right.

  “Do I hear a bath?”

  He nodded. “For you.”

  She sighed, and her smile warmed him. “What time is it?”

  “Three.”

  “P.M.?”

  “Yep.”

  “So that’s why I’m so hungry.”

  “While you’re in the tub, I’ll order food. What do you want?”

  “Everything.”

  He laughed. “I think you need to be a little more specific.”

  “Eggs. Bacon. Toast. Hash browns. Pancakes. Coffee. Orange juice.”

  “Is that all?”

  “I’ll let you know.”

  Dammit, how was he supposed to leave this? Leave her? She was everything he hadn’t known he wanted. All his dreams fulfilled.

  She pushed back the covers and got up. On her way to the bathroom she stopped and kissed him. “Thank you.”

  “My pleasure.”

  Her grin made her even more exquisite. “I know. I’ll be out soon.”

  “Don’t hurry. I’ll let you know when breakfast comes.”

  “Okay.”

  And then she padded to the bathroom, and he watched her naked back, entranced by her bottom and her hips and her legs and every part of her—and he wanted her. Again.

  “GABBY, SLOW DOWN. Start from the beginning.” Jamie sipped some tea as she brought her mind back to Gabby and her problems. It had been a difficult show. All she wanted was to go to Chase. To touch him. To make love to him. But the show must go on. Which, it suddenly occurred to her, was a crock. Who cared about a show when there was love in the air?

  No. No, she did care. She loved her job. Just not as much as she loved Chase.

  “He ended it,” Gabby said through her tears. “He even took his CDs—and the tie I gave him for Christmas.”

  “Did he say anything before he left?”

  Gabby sniffed. “He said he couldn’t take it anymore. That I was suffocating him.”

  Jamie sighed. “I’m so sorry, honey. I know it must hurt like the devil.”

  “You do?”

  “More than you can imagine. I can’t think of anything tougher than to love someone with all your heart and not have that love returned.”

  Gabby’s sniffle turned to sobs. For a moment, Jamie just let her weep. Then, softly, she said, “Gabby, there are lessons here. Maybe you can’t see them today, but when you’re ready, we can talk about them. You’re going to find true love, but only if you can learn from this and not make the same mistakes.”

  “I know. I wanted too much.”

  “Not too much. Just from the wrong source. You have to be whole before you can share yourself. You have to make yourself happy.”

  “I’ll never be happy again.”

  “You will. I promise.”

  “Thanks, Dr. Jamie. And sorry about that thing with Chase.”

  “No need to be sorry. I won.”

  “I don’t know. You could have made love to him. You could have had the time of your life, but you didn’t. That doesn’t sound like winning to me.”

  Jamie wondered if she should tell her listeners the whole truth. No, not now, not tonight. But she knew her show wouldn’t be the same after tonight. She wouldn’t change the format, but she wouldn’t be the same therapist. She saw now how pompous she had been in her posturing. Love wasn’t something that could be quantified. Rules were for fools and virgins.

  “I’ll have to think about that, Gabby. Thanks. This is Dr. Jamie, and we’re talking about sex.”

  MARCY SLIPPED into the booth across from Chase, and a moment later the waitress brought coffee. She was bursting with curiosity. Why had Chase asked to see her, and what was with all the hush-hush business?

  He took a sip of coffee, then looked her straight in the eye. “I need to know you won’t ever say anything about this conversation to anyone, ever.”

  “Okay.”

  “I mean it. I won’t talk unless I have your word.”

  “You do.”

  He sighed, and Marcy noted how tired he looked. But still gorgeous. Her mind bounced to her man, Ted. Only, he wasn’t hers. Not the way she wanted him. They’d had dinner. And after a while, she’d actually had fun. But he hadn’t even tried to kiss her good-night. She hated the word platonic. It didn’t say nearly enough about the ache in her heart.

  “Jamie and I—” Chase began. He closed his mouth for a moment, then started again. “Jamie and I have a problem.”

  “Yes?”

  “I can’t tell you everything, but there are some things…”

  “What?”

  “Damn. I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to talk. Jamie and I—we’ve, um, I’ve fallen in love with her.”

  “That’s wonderful.”

  “No, it isn’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “It just shouldn’t have happened. That’s all.”

  “Oh, no. That’s not enough. Come on, Chase. Spill it.”

  “You know about my father, right?”

  She nodded. “He owned the station.”

  “And he died at thirty-five.”

  “I’m sorry. I had no idea he was that young.”

  “My grandfather died at thirty-five. And his father died at thirty-four. You get the picture?”

  “Is it a heart ailment? A congenital defect?”

  He shrugged. “The doctors don’t know why. They can’t see anything wrong, and, believe me, I’ve had every test in the book.”

  “But you still think you’re going to die, like them.”

  “Wouldn’t you?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “I do. Destiny is a hard thing to face when it doesn’t hold anything good.”

  “But you love Jamie, right?”

  “Which is the problem. Which is why I’m here. You need to look after her.”

  “Why?”

  “Didn’t you hear me?”

  “Yeah. You think you’re gonna die. I have news for you, Chase. No one gets out of this alive. We’re all gonna die.”

  “Not in the next three years.”

  “How do you know? I might walk out of here and get hit by a bus.”

  “Yeah, but—”

  “The truth is, you don’t know what’s going to happen. You might die at thirty-five or a hundred-and-five. You don’t know until you go.”

  “But if I do go in a couple of years, what will that do to Jamie?”

  “You’re worried about something that might or might not happen in two years? Good God, man, you are gorgeous but you’re not very bright.”

  “Hey—”

  “You know what you have? Today. That’s all. Yesterday is gone, and there isn’t a thing you can do to change it. Tomorrow is a maybe, a complete unknown. So all that matters is now, right now. So you have a couple of choices. You can waste today thinking about a tomorrow you can’t see, or you can live right here, right now, for all you’re worth.”

  “You don’t get it.”

  “I do. More than you can know. My mother had Alzheimer’s, Chase. I watched a vibrant, lovely, loving woman become a stranger who didn’t even know my name. And I thought about all the days I’d wasted with her. When we could have been talking and laughing and just being with each other. I can never get that back. I wasted my todays just like you are doing. I was a fool.”

  “There’s something else.”

  “Uh-oh.”

  “It’s about Jamie.”

  She waited, trying not to nudge him into talking faster. “She’s, she was… Damn, I don’t know if I should tell you. But I really think she needs a friend and, well…”

  “If you don’t tell me now, I’m going to strangle you.”

  “Oh, crap. Jamie was…a virgin.”

  “Pardon me?”

  He nodded. “As pure as the driven snow.”

  “You’re lying.”

  He shook his head, and she knew it was the truth. But how could that be? “She’s Dr. Jamie.”

  He nodded. “Yep. And she was ready to quit because she felt like a fraud. This whole thing, it’s been rough on her. I can’t help her, but you can.”

  “Oh man. But it makes some kind of weird sense, you know? Things I couldn’t quite put together. Holy— I’m assuming from your use of the past tense that she’s no longer?”

  “Right.”

  “So what’s the problem?”

  “I can’t shake the feeling I’ve done something wrong, something that will hurt her. It wasn’t my place—”

  “Did you force her?”

  “No. Jeez.”

  “So, she was willing and consenting?”

  “Yes.”

  “So, it’s not your problem, unless you totally sucked at it.”

  His grin said he didn’t think so. But then, he was a guy, and sometimes they didn’t see so clearly.

  “Okay, then. You made love with a beautiful woman who wanted to make love to you. You fell in love with this woman and, from what you say, she fell in love right back. The only fly in the ointment is a future no one can predict. Unlike the rest of us who know every detail of what’s going to happen for the rest of our lives.”

  “All right. I hear you.”

  “Do you?”

  “I watched my mother fall apart after my father died. We nearly didn’t make it.”

  “But you did. And so did your mother. Tell me, have you ever asked her if she’d have been happier if she’d never loved your father?”

  He shook his head. “No.”

  “Ask her. I already know the answer.”

  He didn’t say anything for a long time. Then he got his wallet, left several bills on the table and stood. “Thanks, Marcy.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “I’m glad you’re Jamie’s friend.”

  She smiled as he walked away, and she wondered if she’d ever be loved by a man like Chase. If she’d ever be loved at all.

  JAMIE WALKED OUT of the elevator, and the world shifted one degree to the right. To the perfect. Chase was at her apartment door.

  She hurried—hell, she ran—and she didn’t even warn him when she jumped into his arms, wrapped her legs around him and kissed him senseless. He staggered, but only for a few seconds. Then he held her tight and kissed her back.

  She’d memorized his scent. It was an aphrodisiac, a balm to her soul, a catalyst for her awakening. She’d thought about him all night, and if he hadn’t been there, she’d have hunted him down.

  He broke the kiss, making her moan, but then he smiled. “You’re light as a feather, and normally I could do this for several days, but I have to use the facilities, if you get my drift.”

  She sighed dramatically. “Oh, okay. I suppose I could let you go. But a real man would have lasted another ten minutes at least.”

  “No, that would have been a real stupid man.”

  She slid down until her feet were on the floor, then unlocked her door. Chase scooted past her, and although she knew it was absolutely ridiculous, she felt all warm and fuzzy that they had joked about something so personal, just like a real couple.

  But were they? She hadn’t asked yet. Maybe because she didn’t want to know. He could still leave. He could break her heart this very night. On the other hand…

  She went into the kitchen to make some iced tea, and realized she didn’t know if Chase liked tea or not. What if he was a beer man? She didn’t have beer.

  There was so much to learn about him. She didn’t know anything about his family, his childhood. Why he’d gotten involved with racing and, for heaven’s sake, why he didn’t live in an apartment like a normal person. He could certainly afford it.

  Who was this man who’d stolen her heart? Tonight, she’d find out.

  His boots across her wood floor revved up her engine, and then his arms were around her waist and she leaned against his strong chest.

  “Hey, beautiful,” he whispered.

  “Hey, handsome.”

  His hands moved to her breasts, and he cupped them possessively. She felt tingly. “What are you making?”

  “Tea. Iced tea. Do you like it? I think I have some soda. Or maybe not. There might be a bottle of wine in the back of the fridge. Or I could go to the market—”

  He spun her around. “I think I know what went wrong.”

  “Huh?”

  “I should have kissed you immediately.”

 

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