Laying the ghost, p.25
Laying the Ghost, page 25
‘We’ve got a trip to … to … um … somewhere near Brighton. I forgot to tell you. It’s to look at rock formations. White cliffs – and that.’
‘That’s pretty lame, Mimi. Can’t you do better than that? And why tell me now and not last night?’
Mimi looked panic-stricken. ‘Because I forgot! OK? I forget things. I’ve got stuff on my mind, all the coursework and exams and like soo much to remember! You don’t know what it’s like! Tess texted me – look, if you don’t believe me!’ She held out her phone. Nell didn’t doubt it would tell her there was a trip to Brighton. It was the alibi network all over again. Unless … it wasn’t.
‘OK – I’ll give you a lift.’ She called Mimi’s bluff, heading back up the stairs. ‘Just give me a minute to get some clothes on.’
‘No! No, honestly Mum, there’s no need. I’m meeting Tess at the bus stop. It’s all right. I’m out the door now – it’s fine, everything’s cool. See you later!’ And she was gone, leaving Nell marooned halfway up the stairs with the distinct feeling that she’d been had. She could do several things about this. She could go after Mimi in the car and pick her up at the bus stop – if that was where she’d gone. Or she could phone the school later and check that there was a trip. Or she could do nothing and see how it played out. If she did either of the first two, was it a sign that, deep down, she no longer trusted her daughter at all? She didn’t want to feel like that – it would lead to a horrible checking up on everything she did. She’d end up – and she couldn’t help thinking along these lines – almost stalking her own daughter. You couldn’t live like that.
She went into the kitchen to make some tea and think about what to do. No one told you how exhausting it would be, being the only parent and having to make all the decisions. Sure, Alex had been absent a lot, but essentially there had been two of them running this show. She could, she thought with sly glee, phone him right now (close to two a.m. in New York?) and ask what he’d advise … but then that had a downside, too – she didn’t want to look as if she couldn’t cope. She could, really. On the kitchen table was the note that Mimi had hoped would be her only contact with her mother till the day’s end. ‘School trip to Brighton – sorry, forgot! Lotsa love, Me. xxxx’ Oh, maybe it was true. Surely it was better to trust than not? What she did believe with Mimi, was that she wouldn’t knowingly do something dangerous or frightening. Definitely not frightening, anyway. She’d had enough of that in the cemetery.
Still indecisive, she shoved her feet into her trusty Uggs, opened the front door and went to the gate. It was just too late, she realized as she gazed along the deserted road, to check which direction Mimi had taken. And besides, if she was being truly devious she’d have gone in the usual school direction and then cut through a side road if there was somewhere else she wanted to be. Nell hated herself for her suspicions and turned to go back in. Ed was in the adjoining drive, putting a bag in his car.
‘Hey – we can’t keep meeting like this,’ he said. ‘The neighbours will talk. Are you all right?’
‘I don’t know,’ she admitted. ‘Mimi says she’s got a school trip – one she conveniently forgot to tell me about till she was sliding out of the house just now. I don’t like myself for not believing her.’
Ed leaned against his car door and thought for a moment. ‘Well, if I remember teen years well enough, I think if I was planning something that wasn’t a genuine school trip, I’d have given it a bit of a lead-up. Wouldn’t she have got a story worked out further back to tell you? I mean, what would you have done?’
Nell laughed. ‘I did once tell my mother that the school was finishing a day later than it said on the calendar they’d sent. I said it was a mistake. I gave them two weeks’ notice of that and prayed they wouldn’t phone and check, and then I went to a very glamorous party in London at the home of a massively sophisticated girl in my year.’
‘How old were you?’
‘Fifteen … yes, I see what you mean. You know, the odd thing is, if I’d asked my folks, I’d have been allowed to go, no problem. My mum would probably have given me the money for a new dress in the hope that I’d meet a Nice Suitable Boy. I just enjoyed the sneaky drama of it all.’ She looked at the bag on the back seat of the car. ‘Are you going away for the weekend already? No college tomorrow?’
‘They’ve got an inset day, so I’m off a day early. You should come down, Nell. You’d love it.’
Nell smiled. ‘You know, Ed, I can’t think of anything I’d like more, right now. A peaceful country weekend would be wonderful. The trouble is, teenagers can run away from us but we can’t run away from them. Ask me again sometime though, won’t you?’
‘I will. And here’s the phone number, and my mobile one. If it all goes pear-shaped with Mimi at the end of today, give me a call. I’ll come back.’
‘Oh … Ed, thanks so much.’ She felt incredibly touched. Would he really do that? How sweet, how generous.
‘I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’m just overreacting after last weekend. I’ll hang on to your number and I’ll give you a call, let you know either way.’ He gently pulled her towards him and kissed her, just briefly, on the exact point on her mouth that was most electric. As he drove away and she went back into the house, she could still taste him, still feel the warm pressure of his hand on her arm through the blue silk.
* * *
‘Oh shit! Now what?’ Mimi looked at the train that was leaving the platform and at the smirking face of the train manager, who had been so delighted to evict them from his domain. They were at Exeter.
Joel kicked the bag that lay at his feet. ‘Dunno.’ He shrugged. ‘Hitch a lift home? I wonder which way is the nearest motorway?’ He looked up and down the railway track as if he expected a convenient road to run alongside it, complete with drivers who couldn’t wait to pick up a pair of stranded teenagers and share enclosed space with them all the way back to London. Mimi gave him a look. ‘Joel – are you mad? If I hitch my mum will go ape. And don’t say she won’t find out. I think something’s telling me that I’m no good at lying. She’s going to know about this for sure – I bet she knows already. Parents have radar.’
Joel sat on the platform bench, looking puzzled. ‘Do they? I don’t think mine do. But then … well, I told them exactly what I was doing today. They were doing the Guardian crossword together and they just said “fine”. I don’t think they heard, actually. You see, Mimi, you’ve just got to pick your moments.’
Mimi paced up and down the platform, trying to think. What was she doing here in the middle of … oh yes, Devon, that was the county. She should have known it was all going to end in trouble when they got to Plymouth on the way down. ‘Going back tonight?’ the train manager had asked, as he gathered his belongings and left the train at the same time as her and Joel.
‘Oh yes, this afternoon,’ Joel had said, like it was what he did every day. They’d caught a local train to Saltash, paying for a ticket this time, just so they could cross the Tamar on Brunel’s fantastic bridge. And it was fantastic, Mimi hadn’t had to fake her delight here. Then, after they’d bought a sandwich at the Spar in Saltash, admired the bridge’s arches from the Cornwall side, they’d taken a train back to Plymouth, got on the next train for London and been caught by the same manager who had so cheerfully waved them off a few hours earlier.
‘I hoped I’d see you again,’ he’d told them as he gleefully copped that they had no tickets. ‘You’ve made my day.’ On balance, Joel probably shouldn’t have told him he’d been watching too many American cop movies. He might have let them stay on the train, might have let them call home and get some kind parent to fork out a credit-card payment for tickets over the phone. But no. And so here they were, horribly stranded.
‘I’m going to call my mum,’ Mimi decided. She looked at Joel. He was looking sad, as if he’d let her down. Well, he had. But … she went and sat beside him on the bench. ‘It’ll be all right.’ She giggled. ‘At least it’s daylight. And there aren’t any ghosts.’
Nell had decided what to wear for the lunch date with Patrick the next day. It hadn’t been easy and she’d wasted too much energy and time thinking about it. After twenty years she wasn’t going to be able to pretend she hadn’t aged in the slightest, but all the same, any woman would want to look as tasty as possible. It wasn’t a matter of showing Patrick what he’d been missing, merely a matter of simple personal vanity; not something she was particularly proud of. She had tried various permutations early that morning, spreading heaps of clothes across her bed and discarding them in turn till she was wishing she’d bought something new. The Joseph caramel suede skirt went (she decided she looked like a biscuit in it), along with the black and white Whistles dress with the frill across the front (too girly), the net Only Hearts dress (it wasn’t a party), and the classic DVF wrapover (too safe and dull), and she finally came down in favour of a quirky little dark blue crepe and cashmere Empire-line number teamed with a grey-blue jacket that had trailing bits of artfully tattered fabric and looked like something a first-year design student would come up with for a project.
Now, emerging from Toni and Guy with her hair newly cut, she realized she was putting far too much effort in for this date. She had work backing up in the studio that she should be getting on with and yet, until she’d seen Patrick, she knew her hand would be too trembly to hold the paintbrushes steady. Part of her wished the next day’s lunch was all over, so she could get back to real life, a prospect that seemed incredibly desirable and restful. She’d fantasized about this moment on and off for several years – the reality would either be a huge disappointment or would set off too many pointless regrets. This was ridiculous. She had half a mind to cancel. And then her phone rang.
‘Isn’t it brilliant how a beach brings out the small child in even the most image-burdened teenagers?’ Ed was saying as he and Nell sat together on the promenade above Exmouth beach, eating gooey Magnum ice creams and watching Joel and Mimi building a massive and elaborate fort out of sand. The effort they were putting into it, the concentration, was impressive. If Mimi put half this much thought into her coursework, she would be on track for straight A stars. The late-afternoon sun was surprisingly strong – Nell could feel its warmth through every bit of her body. What a delight. It made her feel sleek, powerful, content.
‘This was so kind of you,’ she said for about the fourth time to Ed. ‘It’s a long way from your place.’
‘It’s not really that far. And it’s a pleasure. You know it is. Someone had to come and rescue them. I was just that much nearer to here than you were at the time.’
‘I suppose I should have taken them straight back home,’ Nell said. ‘After what they did, they don’t deserve this. It’s too much of a treat. But then … it’s so lovely today. Call it serendipity or something.’
She’d booked rooms at a hotel in the town. Alex had agreed to foot the bill – guilt money, she supposed, though at the cost of admitting that once more, Mimi was causing trouble.
‘It’s all my fault anyway, so I suppose there’s no reason why they should suffer.’
‘How can it be your fault?’ Ed asked. ‘You’re a brilliant parent. I mean, look at Mimi – she’s great. There’s nothing wrong with being adventurous. Would you want a spiritless child?’
‘No – it is my fault. I took my eye right off the ball. Off the entire pitch, lately. Tomorrow I was supposed to be having lunch with the only old boyfriend who’s ever mattered. I left him all those years ago because …’ Nell wondered why she was telling Ed this. How could he want to know? Or did she just need to say it?
‘Go on …’ He took hold of her hand. ‘Just tell me, it’s fine.’ His hand was warm, calming.
‘Because if I’d stayed with him, we’d never have had children.’
‘Oh – because he couldn’t? That’s a shame, but then lots of people don’t …’
‘No – it was a choice thing. There’d have been no children and no going to beaches, either. When he was ten … he was on a beach in Wales and his parents told him to take care of his little sister while they went to the pub. Patrick took her for a ride on a pedalo. She fell off and … she drowned.’ Such a simple, tragic tale.
‘God, that’s horrendous! Poor kids, both of them. But … I mean, at ten? Who has to be responsible for another child at ten?’
‘I know, I know. But you can imagine how it would affect someone, a brother. And the family never spoke about her, he told me, not ever again. It was almost as if she hadn’t existed, as if the whole horrible thing hadn’t happened. And after the one drunk night in Oxford when he told me about it, Patrick never mentioned it to me again either. I can understand that, I suppose. Once told, no point going over it.’
‘So you chose the possibility of a family,’ Ed said, turning her hand over and stroking her palm, soothing now.
‘I did. The big decision was when I got pregnant and he went completely hysterical. When I refused to go back to him, he came to my parents’ house and smashed all my mother’s car windows.’
And today she’d chosen children over Patrick again, in a way: choosing to come down to Devon to get Mimi and Joel rather than pay her way out of the situation, throw credit-card money at it. She’d phoned Patrick, told him about Mimi being stranded in Devon, that she was going to Exeter for the night and wouldn’t be back in time for lunch, swanky hard-to-get-into St Alban restaurant or not. She hadn’t for a moment thought, oh, I’m talking to Patrick for the first time in twenty years; she hadn’t fluttered and palpitated and wondered how she was coming across, or thought about whether his voice sounded the same or older, or anything silly and trivial. She’d simply told him what had happened and that another time would be better.
‘What did he say when you bailed out of the lunch date? Wasn’t he horribly disappointed?’
Nell could feel her mouth twitching with laughter. ‘Um … he said something that, in a million years, I’d never have expected arty, bad-boy, rebel Patrick to say.’ The laughter bubbled up. ‘He said, “That’s a total pain: I’d cancelled my golf just to see you.” Golf! Ye gods!’
Ed laughed, then became serious again. ‘But the real reasons you two didn’t stay together back then …’
‘Hmm. You’re quick. It’s taken me twenty whole years to get to this one! He didn’t love me enough to reconsider the children option. I didn’t love him enough to stay and try to change his mind. Simple as that. And nothing’s going to be any different there now, is it?’
‘Yes, well – that’s what you get when you go digging around – sometimes the thing you unearth is the simple truth.’
‘Exactly.’ Nell watched Mimi and Joel excavating a channel from their fort to the rapidly approaching sea. The two of them shouted and yelled abuse at it for crumbling their carefully constructed foundations, then gave up the fight, laughing madly as they danced on what they’d created and then leapt into the waves, hand in hand, splashing like little children. Those Philippe Starck Ghost chairs, Nell thought suddenly as she and Ed snuggled closer together: she must order them for the kitchen.
This Is Dedicated To The One I Love (The Shirelles)
THE END
About the Author
Judy Astley has been writing novels since 1990, following several years as a dressmaker, illustrator, painter and parent. Laying the Ghost is based on her conviction that there isn’t a woman on earth who, in an idle moment alone with a computer, won’t at some point type the names of her ex-boyfriends into the Google search bar. Results can (she is told) range from fabulously full-on rekindled romance to the threat of an ASBO and the possibility of exclusion from England’s prettiest counties. So please, as you read this book, consider yourselves warned.
Judy has two grown-up daughters and lives in London and Cornwall with her husband. Her own exes are safely consigned to the distant past and she wishes them well.
For more information on Judy Astley and her books, see her website at www.judyastley.com
Also by Judy Astley
JUST FOR THE SUMMER
PLEASANT VICES
SEVEN FOR A SECRET
MUDDY WATERS
EVERY GOOD GIRL
THE RIGHT THING
EXCESS BAGGAGE
NO PLACE FOR A MAN
UNCHAINED MELANIE
AWAY FROM IT
SIZE MATTERS
ALL INCLUSIVE
BLOWING IT
TRANSWORLD PUBLISHERS
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Transworld is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies
whose addresses can be found at: www.randomhouse.co.uk/offices.htm
First published in Great Britainin 2007
by Bantam Press, a division of Transworld Publishers
Black Swan edition published 2008
Copyright © Judy Astley 2007
Judy Astley has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
This book is a work of fiction and, except in the case of historical fact, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
Version 1.0, Epub ISBN 9781407039541
A BLACK SWAN BOOK: 9780552773218
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