Every witch way but gone, p.1
Every Witch Way but Gone, page 1
Every Witch Way but Gone
Magical Misfits Mysteries, Volume 15
K.E. O'Connor
Published by K.E. O'Connor, 2024.
This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.
EVERY WITCH WAY BUT GONE
First edition. August 27, 2024.
Copyright © 2024 K.E. O'Connor.
Written by K.E. O'Connor.
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
FREE BOOK
Chapter 1 | Wedding day blues
Chapter 2 | Wedding jinx
Chapter 3 | Mushroom surprise
Chapter 4 | Deadly surprise
Chapter 5 | Clues and suspects
Chapter 6 | Moldy facts
Chapter 7 | The mystery deepens
Chapter 8 | Broken wings
Chapter 9 | Meeting the family
Chapter 10 | Elf secrets and lies
Chapter 11 | Pink surprise
Chapter 12 | Luncheon meat
Chapter 13 | Got you
Chapter 14 | Double surprise
Chapter 15 | Festival fun
Chapter 16 | Love triangle
Chapter 17 | Secrets unfurl
Chapter 18 | Sage succumbs
Chapter 19 | Final clue
Chapter 20 | History bites
About the Author
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Chapter 1
Wedding day blues
“Juno! We can’t delay for a second longer. I have other things to do. Much more important things.” Cythera paced beside me, her white wings fluttering in a show of frustration and general grumpiness. It had been her default mood for weeks.
I chose not to respond as I stood at the back of the outdoor altar in the middle of Crimson Cove woods. My fur was groomed, my claws polished, and I’d attached a sparkly collar around my neck. But I was still missing something. Something that made me complete. My wonderful witch, Zandra Crypt, wasn’t here, and her mother was about to get married. Zandra would never miss this special, magical day.
Cythera prodded me with the toe of her white boot. “Stop thinking about yourself. Zandra has been gone for weeks, and she’s not coming back for this shambles.”
“She’ll be here. And this is Adrienne and Joel’s special day, not a shambles.” My gaze was fixed on the path leading away from the outdoor wedding venue. “They’ve had their differences, but Zandra would never forget her own mother’s wedding.”
Cythera snorted. “More than a few differences. And I’ve known Adrienne longer than you. She’s always been wild. She’s spoken about the things Zandra missed out on when she was younger, and they weren’t small things. Some people can’t forgive and forget. Your witch is one of them.”
“Zandra and Adrienne have reconciled. And my witch doesn’t hold grudges.” Zandra sometimes did, but now wasn’t the moment to point that out. “And she’s a bridesmaid! The only bridesmaid, since everyone else was concerned about getting bitten if Adrienne got over-excited and forgot her manners. Zandra is also walking Adrienne along the aisle. She’s a crucial part of this wedding.”
“If you delay any longer, the ghouls will get hungry, and we don’t want them eating the guests. Imagine the paperwork I’ll have to complete.”
“I made sure Adrienne and Joel had hearty meals before getting dressed,” I said. “And they know to behave at such an important event. Besides, there are only a few of us here, and we all know how to handle ghouls if they get bitey.”
Cythera checked her watch and sighed.
I glanced up at her, biting down on my anger. “Are we keeping you from something?”
“Yes! My job. I didn’t want to be the wedding officiator.”
Maverick, Cythera’s rather wonderful husband, had convinced her to take on this duty. She’d complained bitterly for days afterward, but I thought we’d gotten past that. Apparently not.
“We’ll delay for five more minutes,” I said. “Adrienne will be so upset if Zandra doesn’t show. I don’t want to risk unsettling her, since she’s already jittery from the pre-wedding nerves.”
“This is a waste of time,” Cythera grumbled as she set to pacing again.
I glanced over my shoulder at the small number of guests who were attending the wedding. We’d deliberately kept it to a select group. Sorcha Creer was a guest, along with Tia Starbow from the bakery, who’d made a special offal cake for after the ceremony. Cannibal Bill was also there – he’d become a great friend to Adrienne and Joel, giving them a place to stay and all the offcuts from his hunting they desired. So were Barney Hoffman and his familiar, Ember, from animal control. I’d invited Sage as my plus one, although it had been a challenge to force her out of bed, since she was morbidly depressed.
I was struggling not to join her in the misery fest. But I couldn’t think about my problems. Not at this moment. Today was the happy couple's day, and as much as I wanted Zandra to be here to celebrate alongside us, it seemed she wasn’t showing for her own mother’s wedding.
I turned to the altar with a resigned sigh. “Let’s get this thing started.”
“At last!” Cythera threw up her hands then turned and stomped back to the small, leaf-entwined and flower-covered altar in front of the seating.
Joel waited there in a smart gray suit, shuffling from foot to foot and occasionally letting out a low groan. He was a quiet ghoul and always well-behaved whenever Adrienne was around. She was an excellent influence on him.
I trotted in the opposite direction from Cythera to collect Adrienne. She was dressed and ready to go, concealed behind a tree so Joel wouldn’t see her outfit until she walked along the aisle. In Zandra’s absence, I’d escort Adrienne and give her away. It was a privilege to do so.
I poked my head around the side of the tree. Adrienne’s eyes widened a fraction, a hopeful glint in her hazy irises. “Zandra here?”
“I’m sorry. Something important must have delayed her. We both know she wanted to be here for you.”
She sighed softly, a gray tinge to the fingers clutching her bouquet of daisies. “Zandra loves her work. A good girl. Must be that keeping her away.”
“Zandra loves you, too. There’ll be a reason she couldn’t get back in time. But don’t worry. Today is about you and Joel and making you the happiest couple in Crimson Cove. Shall we get you married?”
Adrienne adjusted one of the thin straps of her white, knee-length dress. It was pretty, simple, with a small amount of sparkle on the bodice. “I’m nervous. Should I get married?”
“Only if you want to. You do, don’t you? It’s not too late to change your mind.” I hopped onto a fallen log and gazed up at her.
“Stomach feels funny. Bad offal?” She patted her stomach.
“Wedding jitters. I sniffed your food before you ate. There was nothing wrong with it.”
“Jitters? Yes. Bad luck with past loves. Zandra’s father included.”
“But you learn and change.” And Adrienne had changed. She was the only person I knew who’d improved by turning into a ghoul!
“Yes. Happy now. Love Joel.”
“He loves you, too. And everyone is here to support you,” I said. “Just look at Joel and smile. Then you’ll know you’re doing the right thing.”
“I lost a tooth last week.” Adrienne revealed a new gap in her smile.
“Joel will love you no matter how many teeth, toes, or fingers you lose. Shall I go ahead, and you can hold on to my tail?” It was a rare treat for anyone to touch my gorgeous tail, but Adrienne deserved to be indulged on her wedding day.
It took a few seconds of shuffling around before we got into a comfortable position, Adrienne lightly gripping the tip of my fluffy tail. Then we were off. The soft whisper of the wedding march drifted around us, and the guests stood. Adrienne shambled behind me, occasionally growling a greeting as we passed guests.
Her fingers tightened around my tail, but I didn’t complain. She was nervous. But she squeezed so hard, it became painful. I looked back at Adrienne, and her lips were pulled back in an almost feral snarl.
Ghouls were difficult supernaturals to control. Most of them were ruled by their primal urge to hunt and destroy anything with a pulse. Adrienne had defied the odds by remaining stable. More stable than she’d been when she was a regular magic user. But heightened emotions interfered with her stability, and I sensed the tension and excitement of the day was getting to her. When ghouls lost control, they didn’t cry or yell, they bit. And bit hard.
I yanked my tail out of Adrienne’s grasp and jumped nimbly onto her thin, gray shoulder. “Take deep breaths. There’s no need to panic. Everyone here is a friend. We all want you happy and married to the wonderful Joel. Isn’t that what you want, too?”
“I want Zandra here.” Adrienne huffed a growl.
“So do I.” Desperately so. It had been three week s since my witch vanished without a trace, taking with her the stones containing most of my ancient magic. Since then, I’d cast every spell imaginable, and I couldn’t find her. Our bond was there, so I knew she was alive. But wherever Zandra was, she was hiding, and doing such an excellent job, I’d failed to locate her and help her come to her senses in time for the wedding.
A low growl caught my attention. Joel had his arms out and was shuffling toward Barney Hoffman in a most alarming manner. If I didn’t know better, I’d think Joel wanted to take a bite out of one of Barney’s beefy arms. And Barney hadn’t noticed the danger he was in since he was smiling warmly at Adrienne as she inched closer to the altar.
Barney’s familiar, Ember Dreamscape, sprang into action, batting Joel away with a few well-aimed spells and sending the smartly dressed groom back to his position by the flower dressed arch.
We needed to get these ghouls married, so everybody calmed down and no one got munched on.
Joel growled again, but a quick flick of a spell from me drew his attention to Adrienne. The growling stopped, and he smiled, his grasping hands falling to his sides. That was better.
We reached the end of the short aisle, and I handed Adrienne to Joel. “Take the best care of her. I’ll be watching to make sure you do.”
Joel wasn’t much of a talker, but he had an expressive face and was quick to nod at me as he caught hold of Adrienne’s hands before giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.
“That’s enough! Plenty of time for that later,” Cythera scolded. “Kissing happens at the end of this shamb — ceremony.”
I left the happy couple and hopped onto a chair. Sage had her seat next to mine. She was curled into a tight ball, looking asleep. But I knew otherwise. Sage hadn’t slept soundly for weeks. She’d been a sad, bedraggled mess ever since my horrific, soul-spearing discovery that Zandra had vanished. Because not only had Zandra vanished, but Vorana was gone, too. They’d disappeared at the same time, leaving us behind.
And although I’d had a dreadful shock at learning this miserable truth, Sage had sunk into a deep vat of sludgy depression, often refusing to leave her bed for days.
It had taken all of my persuasive powers to get her out of the house to come to this wedding. Only the promise of a free salmon mousse fountain convinced her it was worth showing her furry face.
I prodded Sage with a paw. “Make an effort and look happy. The ceremony will be over soon.”
“This is me making an effort.” Sage lifted her head and blearily blinked. “I heard the music. I see the bride and groom. I also haven’t broken wind.”
“Try to smile. They don’t want miserable guests at their wedding.”
“I’m allowed to be miserable. My heart is broken. Smooshed and blasted with ice. There’s nothing left of it. And if there were, I’d feed it to the ghouls. I don’t want it anymore. What use is a heart if it only gets shattered?”
I patted my grumpy friend on the side with a velvet paw. Mine was just as warped out of shape. I was putting on a brave face, but my wonderful witch had gone. It was unthinkable.
Zandra had acted strangely for days before pulling this vanishing act, but I never considered she’d up and leave so suddenly. I’d replayed the events of the days in the lead-up to her disappearance so many times, and I couldn’t figure out what had happened. And although I was normally proud of having such a powerful witch by my side, that power was my undoing, because I couldn’t find her. Zandra Crypt was stronger than me. And I was weaker for having lost her.
“Dearly gifted magic users and friends, we are gathered here today to join together this ghoul, Adrienne, and this ghoul, Joel, in magical matrimony,” Cythera said.
Adrienne and Joel growled in unison. I had to assume it was a happy growl. I wasn’t tuned in to the nuanced growls of ghouls.
Cythera glanced at the guests. “I’ll keep the ceremony short because I can tell some of you are hungry.”
There were a few quiet laughs.
“It’ll soon be unlimited salmon mousse fountain time,” I whispered to Sage. “That’s something to look forward to.”
“I’ll probably spill mine all over my fur,” she grumbled. “Or drown in it. And I don’t have Vorana to bathe me afterward. I used to pretend I hated baths, but I didn’t. Vorana was so gentle with me, and I always smelled amazing. Maybe that’s why she abandoned me. I didn’t show her enough appreciation at bath time.”
“It’s not that.” Life hadn’t been easy since Zandra and Vorana had vanished. I’d come to rely on both of them for so many things. Zandra was my wonderful companion and sidekick, and Vorana gifted me her cheerful optimism, excellent book recommendations, and had an ability to whip up a feast at a moment’s notice.
A rustling in the bushes caught my attention, and I tensed. Was it Zandra? Was she sneaking into the wedding so she wouldn’t disturb the ceremony?
I scowled. It was nothing but a basic brown rabbit. The creature saw the crowd and instantly vanished. Sensible choice.
“If there are no objections to the couple being joined together, I’ll move on to declaring them magically married,” Cythera said.
There was a small amount of shuffling, but everyone was happy Adrienne and Joel were to unite. Adrienne’s previous romantic entanglements hadn’t gone well, and although she’d gotten Zandra as a result of one of those encounters, her dating history could go in a book of all the things not to do to get your happily ever after.
There were more growls from Adrienne and Joel as vows and rings were exchanged. Adrienne very carefully placed a ring on Joel’s finger, since his joints were prone to dislocating and bloating. He did the same to her.
“It gives me the greatest pleasure to present you with the newlywed ghouls, Adrienne and Joel. Joel, you may now kiss your bride,” Cythera said. Before she’d even finished her last words, she was stepping away from the altar and checking her watch again.
Cythera had always been on the wrong side of blunt. But lately, she’d been downright unpleasant to be around and often delighted in whacking me with her giant wings for no good reason. I had several bruises to show for it.
The ghouls kissed, and there was a quiet round of applause from the guests.
“Can I go back to bed now?” Sage asked.
“Mingling and salmon mousse first. You only have to stay for half an hour. Besides, Adrienne and Joel have a special treat arranged as part of their honeymoon,” I said. “Cannibal Bill has been collecting all the best bits of offal and will be placing them around the woods for them to hunt. They’ll have such a fun night.”
“That sounds gory and disgusting,” Sage said. “Count me out.”
“Fortunately for you, none of us are invited on the honeymoon. And I wouldn’t expect you to go offal hunting, not when there’s a bottomless fountain of salmon mousse with your name on it. No chewing required.”
Sage grumbled some more but dragged her disheveled self off of the cushion and flopped onto the ground.
There was more rustling in the bushes. The rabbit had returned. This time, it had a companion. I shooed them away, but they ignored me, instead hopping toward the bride and groom. Did they have a death wish?
Joel spotted them first. His eyes flashed, and his teeth snapped.
I leapt in front of the rabbits. “No! These aren’t your wedding feast. We have an outdoor table set up a short walk away with everything you need. The slaughterhouse provided so many treats. So did Cannibal Bill. And Tia made you an offal cake with royal icing. There are three tiers. All for you.”
Joel growled again, and this time, Adrienne joined him, her gaze glazing over when she spotted the bunnies.
I flared magic around me in a warning. “Look away from the rabbits. Emotions are running high, but you must control yourselves.”
They didn’t hear me, and the growling grew worse, the ghouls' fingers flexing as they drooled and swiped their feet through the dirt as if building up the energy to burst into a run.
My magic flared brighter. “This is your final warning! I don’t want my wedding gift to you to be a night in the cells for ghoulish bad behavior.”
“Get your ghouls under control!” Cythera yelled, her wings unfurled and her hands in fists. “I told you this was a dumb idea.”
Joel’s head whipped around at the sound of Cythera’s angry tone. He coiled like a spring and leapt at her.
