Obliterate, p.5
Obliterate, page 5
I don’t even know what they entail or what will be offered. Oh God, will I have to have my breasts removed? So many unknowns are floating through my mind that I probably shouldn’t be driving. If I’m honest, my mind isn’t on the traffic ahead of me, but somehow, I make it back to the clubhouse in one piece.
As the gates draw open, I let out a relieved exhale, hearing the roar of South’s bike ride into his spot. It’s his first official day here at the club, and already, I’m throwing live grenades at the poor guy.
As I open the door, I spot him waiting for me. Knowing I don’t want any attention on me, he doesn’t make a move to be my escort. And I can’t help but smile as we both walk toward the clubhouse.
South stays a solid yard away from me, and I have to dip my head as we make our way to Hurricane to hide what must be a stupid grin at this point. He hasn’t said a word, but I know he’s here for me all the same.
He glances up, bobbing his chin at South. “Thanks, brother, all go accordin’ to plan?” Hurricane asks.
“Ran as smooth as a baby’s ass,” South says crassly.
Hurricane glances at me for confirmation, but my stomach twists in response. I hate lying to him, but I don’t have a choice right now. I don’t want them to know. Not until I have my head wrapped around whatever this could be. They have enough to worry about with Anton and the Bratva back on the scene, and the Baroness is being shady as fuck too. They don’t need my medical issues clouding their judgment.
“All good, darling, nothing to be concerned over. However, I did get another call while I was out about a scheduling conflict for one of my other appointments… they wanted to know if I could move it up to tomorrow because the doctor is going to a conference the day I’m scheduled for my original appointment.”
Hurricane scoffs. “Typical. Fuckers never have their shit organized. What’s the appointment for tomorrow?”
I swallow the lump in my throat, hoping this will stop the line of questioning. “Pap smear.”
He curls up his lip and nods. “Right, yeah, okay… I’m sure I can find someone to go with you.”
“Actually, I already spoke to South, and he said he’d be fine with being my tail if you’re okay with it?”
Hurricane glances at South, and he nods. “All good with me, Pres. Gets me out and about, learning the lay of the city. Happy to do it.”
Hurricane rolls his shoulders. “All right, you tail her. But goin’ out twice in as many days can be a draw card for trouble, especially with the Bratva. So you keep your eyes fuckin’ peeled, you hear me, South?”
He nods, straightening his shoulders. “I hear you. I’ll protect Ingrid with my life.”
“Glad to hear it! Good job today, South.” He switches back to Ingrid. “I think Novah’s lookin’ for ya. She wants to talk to you about somethin’. Not sure what, though.”
“Thank you, darling.” I reach out, gently placing my hand on Hurricane’s arm.
He smiles in that genuine kind way he always does. “You stayin’ for dinner? I hear Lani’s makin’ somethin’ real good.”
I let out a small laugh. “Well, with an offer like that, how can I say no?”
Hurricane winks.
I glance at South. “Thanks for today,” I offer, making it sound like I mean for the tail, but for me, the meaning is much deeper.
South nods. “Anytime, Ingrid. I’ll be around tomorrow to escort you to your appointment. Let me know the time.”
“Appreciate that.” I reach out, giving his hand a light squeeze. He glances at my hand on his but doesn’t react because Hurricane’s watching us. Then I slowly turn and walk off, leaving the two to talk, probably about how today really went.
I must put my faith in the fact that South won’t out me to Hurricane. Besides, I can’t worry about that right now. I need to go in search of Novah.
Walking through the clubhouse, anxiety races through me. Thoughts of what tomorrow may bring filter through my mind, and while I know I’ll have South with me, it’s not the same as having my family there to support me.
Maybe I should open up to Novah?
Maybe I should tell her what’s going on?
She’s the most sensible of my children, so maybe telling her first is the right move?
Steadying my shoulders, I inhale deeply, deciding to tell Novah when I find her. I can’t leave this burden for South to carry, especially if tomorrow’s news is not good. It’s not fair. He’s new, and keeping this from his president jeopardizes his position.
Making my way down to Novah and Bayou’s bedroom, I knock a couple of times on the door.
“Come in, Hoodoo. I’m so glad you’re here,” Novah mumbles through the door.
I walk in, slightly confused that she’s not in the bedroom. I take a few more steps into the attached bathroom, where Novah’s sitting on the floor, her head resting on the toilet bowl. My eyes widen, and I race in, squatting beside her.
She weakly smiles. “Sorry, I thought you were Hoodoo. Bayou went to get him.”
Bringing up my hand, I swipe her sweaty hair from her face. “Oh darling, are you not well?”
She reaches out, taking my hand in hers, her eyes glistening with tears, but her lips smiling in contradiction to the saltwater shimmering in her eyes. “Mom, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”
“Novah, you’re scaring me.” I sit on the floor next to her.
Tears flood down her cheeks, and she sniffles back her emotions. “We wanted to wait to tell everyone… just until the timing was right.”
“Novah Lee, tell me right now, darling. What’s going on?” I ask firmer.
“Mom! Bayou and me… we’re pregnant.”
My heart pounds so fast, my eyes widening in my joy. “What?” It comes out high-pitched as my hands move to either side of her pale face, embracing her tightly.
She nods, sniffling. “I’ve just had the start of my second-trimester scan, so we could make sure everything was safe to tell everybody, but there was something we didn’t expect on the scan.”
My stomach sinks, and I reach out, grabbing her hands. “Okay, whatever it is, we will face it as a family.”
“It showed we’re having twins.”
Tears well in my eyes as I lean forward, pulling Novah to me in a tight embrace. “Oh, my darling girl. I am so happy for you both.”
Novah stiffens in my arms, and I pull back, looking into her eyes, and that’s when I see the hesitation. Furrowing my brows, I place my hand on her knee and sigh. “Novah, talk to me.”
She rubs her forehead, letting out a long exhale. “I don’t know, Mom. I don’t know what I am feeling.”
“Being a first-time mother is terrifying, let alone being a mother of twins first go around. It’s normal to be a little scared.”
“It’s not that… God, I’m such an asshole—”
“You are anything but. Now, talk to me. What’s going on?”
Novah scrunches her face like she’s mentally berating herself. “What will our kids think of us when they find out? What will their friends think of them when they find out? Am I bringing kids into the world to be terrorized because of my actions?”
“Novah, what? I thought you didn’t have issues with Bayou being your stepbrother?”
She sighs. “I don’t, not really. I just worry that other people won’t understand, and they will take it out on our children. And that will be our fault. We’re going to fuck up our kids because we fell in love.”
I reach out, grab her hands, and force her to look at me. “Stop that. These kids will grow up in a home full of incredible people who love and adore them. They will have nothing but the best upbringing they could ever ask for. If the kids at school start treating them like shit, an entire club is here to back them up. They won’t ever suffer, Novah. Not ever.”
She bursts into tears, and I pull her to me, cradling her to my chest.
“I’m horrible for doubting. I should have known better.”
I stroke her hair and cling to her tightly. “Darling, your hormones are all over the place. You’re going to be feeling all kinds of things. I am shocked you kept this from me for so long.”
She shoots up, looking me in the eyes. “I wanted to tell you sooo many times. We never keep anything from each other. So hiding this from you felt like torture.”
My stomach twists in knots.
I should tell her.
Now is the exact right time.
We’re talking about being open and honest.
This feels like a betrayal if I don’t tell her right now.
But…
… if I tell Novah this news right now, it could send her over the edge.
She needs to concentrate on those two gorgeous babies.
She needs to keep her strength for herself and those kids.
She should not be worrying about me.
“Don’t you worry about that. I completely understand waiting to tell people until the second trimester, darling. It’s the safest thing to do, especially with the complications your body has been through. Have you been to the doctor and had everything checked?”
“Yeah, they think the scarring from the serial killer might cause some discomfort as my body stretches with the size of the twins, but all my internals should be able to cope. Depending on how big they get and how uncomfortable I get, we might have to do an early cesarean and have the twins in the NICU.”
“Right! So we will cross that bridge when we come to it. The main thing now is for you to grow those two little babies, and then when the time comes, we will all rally around and help in any way you need us to.”
“Mom?” Novah’s voice is weak as she looks up at me.
“Yes, darling?”
“Thanks for being here. I don’t know if I could do any of this without you.”
My stomach flips just thinking about tomorrow and the outcome. I don’t know what the severity of the results will be, but I do know I have so much to live for. I have two new grandbabies to meet. So I can’t let tomorrow or whatever comes keep me down.
“You won’t ever have to.” I embrace her again as footsteps draw my attention, and I turn to Bayou and Hoodoo, stepping into the bathroom.
Hoodoo glances down at Novah, and he raises a brow at me. “I’m guessing you know?”
Smiling, I chuckle. “How long have you known?”
He shrugs. “I’m the club medic. I’ve been treating Novah’s morning sickness since it started around her six-week mark.”
Snorting out a laugh, I sigh. “Figures.” I glance up at my stepson, Bayou, with a warm smile. “Congratulations, Daddy.”
He kneels on the floor beside me, and I pull him into a tight embrace. “I am so proud of you both,” I whisper.
Bayou moves beside Novah, pulling her to him. “She’s doing all the hard work. I fucking hate seeing her sick like this.”
“It’ll be worth it.” She nuzzles into his chest, finding her safe haven.
“Yeah, it will. But in the meantime, Hoodoo, can you give her something for the nausea?” Bayou asks.
Hoodoo places his medkit on the floor beside us and nods. “You still feeling queasy?”
Novah nods. “Absolutely, and a little dizzy.”
“All right. I’m gonna give you something to hopefully stop your tummy from turning. But I’m gonna need you to drink some Hydralyte to help with your electrolytes and hydration. Can you do that for me?”
Novah nods, and Hoodoo goes about getting the meds ready for her while I sit back, wondering how much my life is going to change in the next few weeks. What if the lump is the worst-case scenario? What if it is as bad as it gets? What if I am not even around in the next five months to see my grandbabies enter the world?
My eyes begin to water, and I have to blink them rapidly to stop my tears from falling. Clearing my throat, I move to stand, allowing Hoodoo to do whatever he needs while I hang back out of the way. Wrapping my arms around myself, I try to stop my racing thoughts from running away with me.
I need to stay here.
In this moment.
And not focus on what-ifs.
Because that shit spirals out of control.
Hoodoo stands beside me, his eyes watching me casually as Bayou and Novah sit together on the bathroom floor.
“Okay, well… I’m going to head off. I think I’ll go to The Plantation to see Maxxy, but if y’all need me for anything, you just give me a call, okay?” Hoodoo states, heading for the door.
I glance down at Novah and Bayou and smile at them. “Hoodoo, I’ll walk you out.” I gesture that I’ll be back in a minute and turn to walk out of their room.
Hoodoo looks me up and down. “You doing okay, Ingrid? You look a little… off.”
We reach the door and step outside into the hall, and I make sure to close the door behind us so Novah and Bayou can’t hear. “Actually, I wanted to pick your brain about something… for a friend.”
“Okay… shoot.” He leans his shoulder against the wall, folding his arms over his chest.
“So, this friend… she went and had a mammogram. They found a shadow. She has to go back for a biopsy, but I’m wondering what she needs to look out for?”
He narrows his eyes on me and stands taller like he can see right through my ‘friend’ act. “Well, your ‘friend’ should get the biopsy as soon as possible. Early detection is key.”
“She is, she’s going real soon.”
He nods. “Okay, good. In that case, they will check for certain cells. If they find anything suspicious, they will remove the lump with margins to ensure they have cleared it all. But there are times when a mastectomy may be needed if they find more than one lump or if the lump is too big.”
They explained all this to me at the screening suites, but I don’t think it actually sunk in. And hearing it for a second time is making it feel fucking real. “And if they remove the lump, or even the breast in its entirety, then that’s all good, right?”
Hoodoo grimaces. “Maybe. Depends on the pathology of the cells, the margins, and whether the cells have spread. If, when they do the scans, it has spread to the lymph nodes, well, it will require more extensive treatments… and possibly a different outcome. It’s all variable.”
My bottom lip trembles, and I plaster on a fake smile. “Thank you, Hoodoo.”
His sad eyes look me over, and he reaches out, gripping my arm. “If you need someone to talk to, you know you can confide in me confidentially.”
Sniffling, I wipe a tear that falls down my face and clear my throat. “I’m fine. I have to be. I have grandbabies coming.”
He exhales, tightening his grip on me. “Does Hurricane know your diagnosis?”
He’s not beating around the bush anymore.
I shake my head. “Only you and South know. And I want to keep it that way. With Novah and the babies, the Bratva and the Baroness, there are too many things going on for my kids to worry about right now. I don’t need them concerned until I know what I’m dealing with myself.”
Hoodoo rubs the back of his neck. “When’s the biopsy?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Someone going with you? You’ll be too sore to drive on your own.”
Nodding, I exhale. “I have South taking me. He was going to tail me, but I will have him drive me there.”
“Good idea. I want you to keep me in the loop. I’m not going to tell anyone, but I want to be able to help you should you need it.”
I reach out, wrapping my arms around his large body, and hold tight. “Thanks, Hoodoo. I appreciate this.”
“We all love you, Ingrid. You’re gonna get through this.”
I pull back and weakly smile. “I better get back in there, or they’ll think we’re having an affair.”
Hoodoo chuckles. “An affair with a younger man, Ingrid? You would never,” he jokes, turning and walking off.
My mind instantly goes straight to South—a much younger man.
The idea of having something with South is both tantalizing and terrifying.
But I can’t think about him right now.
I have to be with Novah and celebrate the wins while we have them.
I’m going to be a grandmother again.
And I can’t fucking wait to meet these little angels.
Now, I have to make sure I am here to meet them.
Positive thinking, Ingrid. Positive thinking.
CHAPTER FIVE
South
The Next Day
My foot taps anxiously as I sit in the waiting room while Ingrid has her biopsy. I wanted to go in with her, hold her hand, and be the support she needs right now. But to keep everything sterile, I wasn’t allowed. And doing what’s best for her, I will sit back and wait—even if it’s fucking killing me.
My stomach rolls, thinking back to the first time I met Ingrid, the first time she placed her hand on my face.
Ingrid changed my life that day.
A day when I felt like my life wasn’t worth anything.
Like I didn’t matter.
And with one simple look, this incredible woman made me feel like maybe I could be something—be someone.
Panting rapidly, the anger seeps through my veins like a rabid beast, but the pain is eating at my soul.
As I lash out again at the cause of my unending pain—my sister—Ingrid steps in and places her hand on my face, forcing me to look at her.
“Rome, look at me,” she urges calmly.
Her tone is so soothing I have no choice but to exhale, slowly placing the trophy down. Our eyes lock, and somehow, this older woman feels more like home to me than the people I call my family.
Ingrid nods with a small smile. “You’re okay. You’re going to be okay… I promise.”
I can’t help but stare at her. She’s the only person who has ever shown any type of care for me… ever. I don’t know why she put herself out there for me, but the connection to her was instant. And I knew the bond was going to last a lifetime.
It may not be now, but I will see her again.
Somehow, I will make that happen.
“It’s okay to be different, Romeo. And if you want to, you can be anything you want to be. Don’t let anyone push you in a direction you don’t want. You’re old enough… take charge of your life, okay?”
