The rowdy ones, p.12
The Rowdy Ones, page 12
He barks again and walks beside me, his side brushing against my leg. I’m worried he might get whacked in the face with my cane, but he appears to know just how far back he needs to stay.
“How do you know which way to go?” Rowdy asks, voice so close behind me it makes me jump.
“I’ve memorized the distance from the cabin to the RV. Plus, you won’t let me walk off into the woods.”
He grunts in agreement. I’m pleased when the end of my cane taps against wood. Since the sound is hollow and familiar, I know I’ve made it to the porch steps. Scout, rather than bounding up the steps, takes one at a time with me. My heart hammers happily. Gwen spoke of service animals. Maybe Scout could be mine. I can’t wait to tell her about finding him.
The cabin door opens and Wild starts laughing. “Did you find Cujo? That dog looks rabid. Dad will flip his shit if you bring a stray dog inside.”
Ronan read me the Stephen King novel, Cujo, when I was too young and it gave me nightmares for weeks. My dog is a good boy, though, and nothing like that monster. “His name is Scout. We’re going to take him straight to the bath.”
“Your funeral,” Wild says, still chuckling. “Well, come in. You’re letting all the heat out.”
I use my cane to help me through the door and then navigate through the living room. It smells like something garlicky cooking. My stomach grumbles, reminding me I left my candy in the RV. A new dog trumps leftover candy.
“Come on, Scout,” I tell him. “We’re going to get you nice and clean.”
He barks in agreement.
“Doggie,” one of the twins cries out. “Momma, look.”
There’s chaos among their family, but I let them sort it out on their own. I take my dog to the bathroom and start the bath for it. It takes a second to find the plug to stop the water, but soon it’s filling with warm water.
“That stick really helps you, huh?” Rowdy asks, so close his breath tickles my hair. “You can move around quickly with it.”
For someone who was so upset earlier about it, he’s changed his tune. It warms my heart. I flash a wide grin his way over my shoulder and nod. “I feel like I keep unlocking parts of my life. It’s exciting.”
Scout bumps into me and Rowdy’s hand grips my waist, steadying me. Heat tickles down my spine. The dog showing up was a distraction from earlier, but I’m suddenly reminded.
I think I wanted him to kiss me.
The skin on my face burns hot with shame. I’m not sure what’s going on with Rowdy, but it feels like he isn’t just possessive, but like he wants to possess me. When he’d had my hair in his grip and his breath panting near my lips, I was sure he was going to make a move. Intentionally this time. The sleepover touching the other night was an accident.
I’d secretly ached for him to do something on purpose.
Shameful, shameful girl.
“Go eat,” Aunt Eve barks from the doorway to the bathroom. “Go, Rowdy.”
He squeezes my hip and then releases me. “This bathroom is too small anyway. You got this, Aunt Eve?”
“Do the dishes after,” she clips out. “Go.”
As soon as Rowdy leaves, Aunt Eve pushes past me. I hear a cap open and then a soapy scent permeates the air. Then I hear splashing sounds.
“Get in, dog,” she instructs. “Come on.”
Scout barks at her and then a bigger splash resounds. Is she in the tub with him?
“In the cabinet below the sink are towels,” she says to me. “Grab a few and be ready for when I finish up with him.”
I do as I’m told and listen to Aunt Eve splash around with the dog. Scout whines at one point and she tells him to “man up.”
“What does he look like?” I ask, eager to know more about Scout.
“A dog.”
I stick my tongue out at her.
“I run a bar of soap over tongues when my kids do that,” Aunt Eve says, amusement in her voice. “The white parts of his fur near his mouth are stained with blood. I’m going to trim most of it off when we get out.”
“He’s a white dog?”
“All colors. You don’t know colors, though, do you?”
“I know what they mean, but I can’t remember what they look like. It’s dark these days for me.”
“He’s black and white spotted on his back. His chest is white and his underbelly and legs are copper. His feet and snout are white. The most unusual thing about him is his two different-colored eyes. One’s blue and one’s brown.”
I like that his eyes are different. Like mine.
“He’s beautiful,” I say happily.
She snorts. “He’s dirty and goofy.”
“My baby.”
As soon as I say the words, my smile falters. I’m reminded of my actual baby. The poor, innocent little thing that died before it had a chance to live. Did I want to be kidnapped and raped? No. Did I want to get pregnant from the man who raped me? Also no. But I was pregnant and all I wanted was to care for that sweet baby, needing desperately for some good to come from an awful situation.
I lost it, though.
And I’ve been dead inside since.
Until we came up here to stay. Because of the school, Weston and Gwen, my walking cane, and now Scout, things are looking up.
“I lost so many,” Aunt Eve says in a rare show of vulnerability. “Each time was excruciatingly painful. Like someone carved a hole out of my heart. There are so many holes in my heart. It never stops hurting.”
Tears form in my eyes and I try to blink them away. I’m unable to and let out a soft sob. This has Scout whimpering with worry.
“Hush now,” she tells him. “She’s fine.”
I laugh through my tears. “Are you mean to everyone, Aunt Eve?”
“Yes.” The water splashes some more and then she says, “I know your sadness, Destiny.”
My stomach flips at her words.
“Not all my losses were after I was with Atticus. Many were from before. When I was younger than you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I love them all…” she trails off, voice cracking. “Even though my brothers and father hurt me to get me pregnant.”
I knew she’d lost babies, but I didn’t know this part. “You had sex with them?”
She’s silent for a beat and then says, “They raped me. That’s the word my husband uses for it. Like the bad people did to you. My family was very, very bad.”
It makes me wonder if it was violent like Ronan’s or soft, sweet, and gentle like mine. They’re all awful in their own way. I’m grateful for the night Rowdy cut into our tent and then into the flesh of my rapist all to save me.
He was my hero that night.
Still is.
“I see how Rowdy looks at you. My older brothers had the same hungry glint in their eyes.”
I’m jolted from my memories of my savior. Jerking my head her way, I gape at her. “What? Rowdy’s not like them. He saved me.”
“Lay a towel on the floor,” she says tersely. “I don’t want water everywhere.”
I obey her and then shift on my feet, waiting for her to elaborate on why she thinks this. Finally, unable to take it a second longer, I hiss out, “Aunt Eve. You know he’s not like them, right?”
She’s suspicious. Always has been.
Rowdy’s a good guy. The best. He’s the kind of man who drops his safety, his family, his home, and even his dog to take care of someone in need. I know he’d go to the ends of the earth for me.
So why do I have to keep defending him with everyone?
Unease settles in my gut. Especially since she refuses to answer me. I’m upset at her words, but I’m also angry. It burns hot inside my chest. I want to yell at her and tell her my life isn’t her life. We’re not the same.
“Out, Scout,” she orders in a rough tone.
There is splashing and then the dog shakes, shooting water everywhere. He’s cute, but I can’t even enjoy him because Aunt Eve has shaken the very foundation of my life.
Rowdy’s no monster.
He’s my protective big brother.
Safe and secure.
I love him.
Squatting down, I towel dry my dog, trying desperately to drive all the negative thoughts in my head out. I don’t want to think about Jace or the loss of my baby. I certainly don’t want to think of Aunt Eve’s brothers raping her and how she thinks Rowdy might be like them. It’s too much.
“Keep him still. I’m going to trim his hair,” Aunt Eve says. “If he wiggles, I might accidentally snip off his ear.”
Scout whines as if he understands. I kiss the top of his head to reassure him he’s safe.
It takes a few minutes, but she finally finishes up with his haircut. Before I can bolt from the tiny bathroom, she stops me by saying my name.
I pause, angling my head to her. Will she apologize for being out of line? For unfairly lumping my brother into the same category as hers?
“Be careful.”
No apologies. Just a command.
She wants me to be afraid of my brother like she was with hers.
Not happening.
* * *
* * *
It takes me entirely too long to text my sister.
Me: i know your probably going on a date with weston but i wandered if you could ride with me to clear my head evan texted me again and it fucked me up please i’ll bring scout okay let me know
Drumming my fingers on Uncle Atticus’s steering wheel, I wait impatiently for her to respond.
“She is learning more tech stuff today,” I tell Scout, who’s sitting in the passenger seat panting. “Hopefully, she can answer us soon.”
Another text from Evan pops through.
evan knox dont answer him: Alex can get you a free gym membership if you want. You don’t have to go with us. I know you’re still mad at me.
Mad?
I hate him. He destroyed all the good, innocent parts of me. His efforts to manipulate me into thinking he’s all of a sudden reformed fall on deaf ears. I won’t fall for his bullshit again. Especially with Destiny being here. She needs my full focus to keep her safe. I jab my thumbs on the tiny keypad of the phone, mashing each letter out one at a time at an infuriatingly slow pace.
Me: dont want to talk about this with you i’m not going to hang out with you and you’re boyfriend so stop trying okay bye forever
His response is immediate. How can anyone type that fast?
evan knox dont answer him: Don’t be like that. I’m trying really hard, Rowdy. Cut me some slack.
Since it’ll take too long to respond, I close my phone and start driving to pick Destiny up. If she texts back and says she’s going on a date, then I’ll turn around. But I can’t just sit around doing nothing while waiting for an answer. My mind shoots in a thousand different directions when left alone and I don’t fucking like it.
Ten minutes later, my phone buzzes. Scout barks at me, probably warning me not to do something stupid. Since we’re on a desolate road, I chance a look at my phone while driving. Thankfully, it’s not Evan.
Destiny: I can see him another day. You need me more right now.
Right now?
How about always?
I find the heart emoji and mash that since it’s the easiest to reply with one hand on the steering wheel. The rest of the drive, I feel much lighter knowing Destiny is going to take a ride with me.
Once I make it to the clinic, I hop out of the truck. Scout jumps out behind me. His tail swishes happily. He must feel my excitement because he seems every bit as eager to get Destiny as I am. Smart dog. Makes me miss Spirit. I hope Mage is sharing his treats with her.
We make our way to the front of the building. I lean my shoulder against a lamppost and Scout flops onto the snowy ground to wait. A few minutes later, the door opens and Destiny steps out. Scout barks at her and I curse at him to be quiet. Her coat swallows her tiny frame, making her look fragile and small, but her grin is bright, aimed in my direction as she confidently navigates the stairs with her cane.
“Hi,” she greets. “Where’s my baby dog?”
Scout barks again, trotting over to her side. He leans into her leg and she rewards him with ear scratches.
“Hey,” I say, stepping closer until I’m towering over her. “Good day?”
“Awesome day. I downloaded an app that allows me to read audiobooks. I already started one at lunch.” She reaches forward, her fingers brushing over the front of my coat. “Where are we riding to?”
“I have an idea,” I tell her, “but it’s a surprise.”
This makes her grin even wider. Fuck, why does she have to be so pretty? It would be a lot easier to ignore her if she looked like a toad. I wish I had someone—anyone—to talk about this with, but I can’t even admit this to Wild without experiencing condemnation and shame. There are three people in my family who would get it, but not one of them has a phone or internet access.
“Oh, Destiny,” a voice calls out. “I forgot to give you this.”
Destiny stops and turns to face Gwen, who is hurrying down the steps with a package in hand. It’s a dark, small bag, and when she gets closer, I see that it’s coffee.
“Thank you,” Destiny says with a smile. “I can’t wait for everyone to try it.”
“It’s the best,” Gwen agrees. “This must be Scout.”
Scout, upon hearing his name, barks at her. He doesn’t abandon Destiny’s side, but his tail wags wildly as if he wishes she would come give him snuggles. She doesn’t. It rankles me for some reason.
“I’m going to train him to be my service animal,” Destiny tells her. “He’s so smart. I know he can do it.”
Destiny doesn’t see the pitying smile Gwen gives her. I do. I don’t like it.
“That’s an idea,” Gwen placates. “How about we put a pin in it?”
The cheerfulness my sister was brimming with two seconds earlier is gone. Her shoulders slump and she frowns.
“We can train him,” I tell her, desperate to see her smile again.
Gwen winces and shakes her head. “I’m afraid it’s not that simple. Service animals require lots of training. If it were that easy, all animals could do it.”
Destiny deflates again.
Why is this woman trying to bring her down?
“We’ll research it on the internet,” I blurt out. “Destiny is good at finding useful shit there.”
Gwen’s upper lip twitches as if my voice makes her skin crawl. “I suppose there’s no hurt in trying, but I want you both to have reasonable expectations of the end result. Little Scout here may just be a family dog only and that’s okay.”
Whatever, lady.
Scout barks over at me as if he’s thinking the same thing.
After Gwen passes Destiny the coffee bag and heads back inside, I begin to relax. I’ve been agitated all day, but a calm finally settles over me. About damn time.
I open the truck door for Destiny and she climbs to her seat. Then Scout hops up onto the edge of the seat, forcing her to scoot toward the middle to give him room.
“That dog thinks he’s a human,” I grumble.
She hugs him to her and he barks. After I shut the door, I round the truck and slide into the seat. Destiny sits in the middle, body close to mine. The heat radiating from her makes every nerve in me tingle.
“What’s the surprise?” she asks, shoulder bumping mine. “I’m dying of suspense.”
“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore.”
She playfully huffs and then hugs Scout again. “I’m glad we’re getting to spend some time together. You going to tell me about Evan’s texts?”
Before I can answer, her phone alerts her to a text from Weston. She instructs it to read out loud.
Weston: Seriously, baby? I wanted to take you on another fun date. Maybe I can pick you up after.
She instructs her phone to reply back that she’ll see him tomorrow. Satisfaction flickers inside me. Knowing she chose me over him feels good. Family first.
Now that I have her all to myself, I don’t really want to talk about Evan. I want to talk about Destiny and all the things she’s learning at school. I want to discuss her audiobook, Scout, and anything else she cares about.
“So?” she implores. “What did he say?”
“He’s pressuring me to go to the gym with him and Alex. Alex can get me a free gym membership. There are only so many ways I can tell him no. He doesn’t get it. Persistent and pushy.”
And that’s on a good day.
At his worst, he was manipulative and hard-core pressured me until I gave in.
“Want me to block him for you?”
“It’s fine,” I tell her. “I’d honestly like to just forget about him. Have fun with you and Scout instead.”
She pats my thigh, sending a zing straight to my groin. It burns hot when she leaves her hand resting there.
Why would she do that?
My mind reels with a lot of wishful thinking. It’s all sick and crazy, but my dick likes it. It’s distracting and I almost rear-end a car that slams on their brakes.
“Learn to drive,” I bark out at the person in front of me. “Idiot.”
Her hand is still there. Still fucking there.
I try to focus on the road, navigating the streets on memory. Most places are the same from when I used to run around with Evan. Thankfully, the farm feed and supply store, and where I want to go next, is also still there.
“We’re here,” I tell her as I shut off the truck and open the door, reluctantly moving away from her hand. “Come on.”
She climbs out and Scout follows after. I shrug my shoulders. If the dog wants to go with her, who am I to stop him? The three of us make our way into the feed store. Once inside, Destiny wrinkles her nose and sniffs.
“Feed store,” I explain with a chuckle. “They have pet supplies here. Thought we could get some stuff for Scout. Uncle Atticus gave me a wad of cash.”
“Really?” She grins at me. “Lead the way.”
I scan the signs hanging to see which way we need to go. We walk past an elderly couple who blatantly stare at my sister and her dog. They mutter something under their breath about dogs not being welcome.
