Enzo, p.4
Enzo, page 4
“Yeah,” is all I can reply with. “I just got to the Friedmans’. I will see you later.”
“Love you, Enzo. Always have.”
“Love you too, Mom.”
I pull in the driveway and wait in my car for Dane and Nick to show up. The phone in my pocket feels like both a blessing and a curse. I’m breaking the rules to give one of my kids a phone. A phone that is linked to me because it’s on my cell phone plan. It’s just asking for trouble. But when I walked into the store and got it set up, I wasn’t thinking about my job. I was thinking about Jenna. I promised her a lifebuoy. This is her way to keep from drowning.
A pair of headlights shine behind me. I climb out of the car, shuddering against the cold and snow, and walk over to shake hands with Nick and Dane.
“You must be Nick. Pleased to finally meet you,” I say to my friend dressed in a Santa suit and whom I’ve only conversed with over the phone.
“Nick,” Dane says. “Meet Lorenzo Tauber. Enzo, this is St. Nick.”
We all chuckle, but then grow serious when our gazes all end up on the house with the sad, lonely kids inside.
“And they’re expecting us?” Nick asks, fidgeting as though he’s nervous.
“They’re expecting a visit from Santa and some gifts. The foster mom wasn’t keen on a visit from the caseworker two days this week, but I convinced her this was something we do often and not part of the home study,” I tell him. It’s technically been more than two days but Nick and Dane don’t need to know the accounts of my “unofficial” visits. “We need to tread lightly.” I grip Nick’s shoulder and frown. “It’s easy to get angry when we see injustices done to these kids. But for us to protect them and help them, we have to remain cool. I’m trusting you by taking you here with me.”
He nods at me and then they both head for the trunk to get the gifts. I grip the phone in my pocket, nerves eating me alive. Like it might go off and everyone will know I’m bringing Jenna a phone. My hand shakes slightly as I ring the doorbell.
I won’t give it to her.
Decision made.
My job will be safe and I won’t be doing something that seems sketchy, like trying to communicate with a teenager. I’m sure the cops would think I was just as creepy as Don. Thank fuck he won’t be here tonight, according to Barb when I called earlier to set this up.
Barb answers the door and eyes the guys behind me suspiciously as they walk up.
“Mrs. Friedman, thank you for allowing us to come,” I say icily to her. This witch locks up her food and lets her husband watch little girls while they shower. I hate that I have to be nice to her, but I know the rules. Until the judge goes over the reports and makes a decision, they’re stuck here, and I’ll be damned if I make it harder on these kids by being an asshole to their caretaker.
“Not like I had a choice,” she grumbles.
We follow her inside. The house is chilly tonight, which makes my blood boil. It makes me think of Mom, who is probably hollering at Elijah or Dad to stoke the fire because it’s not warm enough. If Mom were here, she’d teach these assholes how to parent the right way.
Nick is frowning as he takes in the environment. The stale smell of smoke. The chilly air. The lack of Christmas decorations. He and Dane exchange a weighted look. It’s surprising to them, but all too familiar to me.
“Kids! Get down here now!” Barb yells up the stairs.
I clench my jaw and walk over to the far corner of the living room. This isn’t about me being here on an official check. It’s so those kids can have a tiny moment of a happy Christmas. I wish we could do more, but this is all we can do for now.
Nick sits in the recliner, all decked out as Santa Claus, and I can’t help but shoot the poor guy a reassuring smile and a wink. I like that he cares. It’s always good to have an attorney as a friend when you’re dealing with kids and needing judges to make shit happen.
I sense her before I see her and jerk my head over to the stairs. Jenna, wearing a fierce and untrusting mask, holds Cora tightly to her as she descends the stairs.
“Jenna,” I greet, my voice rough with emotion. The desire to snatch both girls up and take them home with me is overwhelming. “Hi there, Cora.” Cora hides from me like always, burying her face in Jenna’s hair, and I can’t help but feel dejected.
“Boys!” Barb bellows. “Get down here now! We have company!”
Jenna and Cora both flinch and I start toward them. To do what? Rescue them? I can’t do shit. Not legally anyway. All I can do is make sure they see Santa and receive their presents. And then, hopefully the judge will move them out of this house where they think it’s fucking fine to lock the food away and leer at Jenna.
All three boys eventually emerge from upstairs. Jenna and Cora stand close enough I can almost draw them in for a hug. Nick, thankfully, takes control of the situation and plays his role well as Santa. While everyone is distracted, watching Joseph talk to Santa and receive his gifts, I take the moment to talk to Jenna.
“How are you holding up?” I ask quietly.
She shrugs and kisses Cora’s head. “We’re fine.”
“Staying afloat?”
A small smile tugs at her lips. “Barely, but yes.”
“Jenna, take Cora over there,” Barb snaps, jerking us from our private conversation.
Jenna glowers at her but walks over to Nick. She is young, but the system has aged her. Forced her to grow up a long time ago. As she holds Cora protectively to her, she reminds me of a mother bear. Claws and teeth bared, ready to tear out the throats of anyone who might try to hurt her cub. My chest aches for them. It reminds me too much of Logan. He was my family like Cora is hers. Sometimes life takes our made-up families away too.
Life fucking sucks.
Cora starts squealing when she realizes Jenna is about to set her in Nick’s lap. I don’t blame her. Every adult she’s been around has either been cruel to her, neglectful, or unable to do a damn thing to help her. We’ve all let her down.
“Do you want to sit with her?” Nick asks.
I can’t see Jenna’s face but she’s tense. She, like Cora, hasn’t had the best luck with adults and here, a grown-ass man wants her to sit in his lap.
“I’m a little too big,” Jenna murmurs.
“I’m strong.” Nick winks at her, kindness in his smile.
With Cora in her arms, Jenna sits on his knee. Cora, now safe with Jenna, curiously reaches out to touch Nick’s nose.
“Santa?” Cora whispers.
“Merry Christmas, Cora. You’ve been a good girl this year. I brought you some presents,” he assures her.
“Sissy too?” Cora asks.
My heart cracks open. These two love each other. A bond forged from circumstance, but the love no less than if they had the same blood running through their veins.
“Sissy too,” Nick says. “Both the best girls on my list.”
Dane hands Nick their presents. First Cora’s and then Jenna’s. Cora likes all her gifts but fixates on the stuffed koala bear. I think Jenna might cry when she opens her Kindle. They eventually thank Santa and make their way over to me. Malachi ends up on Santa’s lap next while I focus on Jenna.
Saddest fucking eyes, but she still seems so strong. Despite everything. She needs a lifeline. I promised I’d give her one. It’s Christmas after all. I don’t think my decision over too long. I simply pluck the phone from my pocket and discreetly hand it to her. Her eyes widen for a moment as she registers what I’m giving her, and then quickly tucks it inside her hoodie pocket before anyone notices.
I did it.
I gave her a way to contact me, even though I could probably get fired for that move.
The guilt should overwhelm me, but all I feel is relief.
She won’t drown.
I’ve thrown her a lifebuoy. I will save her. I will save them both.
“What’s this?” I ask Cora as I point at her bear. “Is that a talking koala?”
She smiles bashfully at me as she offers me her stuffed animal. I take it from her and pretend to be the bear, making him yap to her about what he wants for Christmas.
“A new bike and a trampoline and a tree house,” I say in a squeaky voice, wiggling him at her.
Cora giggles and the sound arrests my heart. So sweet and lovely. She’s never warmed up to me, and I feel like I’ve crossed some huge barrier with her. When I look up at Jenna, she’s staring at me with an odd look. I wink at her and her cheeks turn pink.
“I’m hungry,” Joseph whimpers.
Barb glowers at him. “No snacks after supper.”
I may have gotten them to take off the locks, but that doesn’t mean I could make them take away their stupid rules. These poor kids should be eating ham and cookies and candy. It’s Christmas Eve, for crying out loud. Not having to beg for a snack.
Nick’s eyes gleam with fury and he opens his mouth, like he’s about to say something, but I stop him with a shake of my head. We’ll get them out of here. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but we’ll get them moved once the judge has time to read over my reports. If we weren’t right in the middle of the holidays, it’d move a lot quicker.
“It’s time for Santa to go,” Barb says in a cold tone. “He has other children to see.” She walks over and plucks Xavier from Nick’s lap.
“Thank you for allowing us to come,” I grit out to Barb. My gaze flits over to Jenna once more as we head toward the door.
Call me later when you can, and we’ll talk.
My unspoken message must reach her ears because Jenna nods. Her eyes glimmer with relief and I feel like I’ve done something right, no matter how unethical it is.
It’s midnight after everyone has fallen asleep when I get the nerve to call Enzo. I’ve long put Cora to bed and she snores softly from across the room. My heart patters erratically in my chest as I mash his name—the only name—from the contact list. He answers on the first ring, as though he were waiting for my call.
“Jenna,” he rumbles.
His voice, heavy with fatigue, seems deeper and scratchier. I can feel it clawing its way inside of me and making a home. It’s far from an unwelcome feeling. In fact, my skin heats at my reaction to the way he says my name.
“Enzo.”
He’s silent for a beat. It makes me wonder if he’s appreciating the sound of my voice too. Is he storing it away in his memory bank for later? Images of Enzo and I, together and not apart, flood my mind. Silly fantasies of myself and my new crush.
“How are you?” he asks, his voice finding its way back to polite and professional.
I’m slightly irritated that I’m over here fantasizing about him, and he’s talking to me out of duty. “Fine,” I clip out, sounding every bit like a bratty teenager. I wince because I want him to think of me as more.
“How are you really?” His chuckle warms me. It also warms me that he knows me better than to accept a dismissive reply to his questioning.
“Tired…”
“Well, it is midnight—”
“No,” I interrupt. “I’m tired of everything.”
“What does that mean?” he demands in a panicked tone.
My stomach flutters. “I’m not going to harm myself,” I assure him. “I’m just tired of having to rely on people. I want to rely on myself.”
“It’s okay to need people.”
Like him?
Why do I feel like lately, I need him? I need him to keep me safe from people like Juanita and Don. I need him to reassure me that everything’s going to be okay, and that I won’t drown. I need him to help me get the hell out of here.
“I need people,” I concede. “Cora and…” You.
“Are you safe? Is your door locked?”
I stare in the dark at the door. It’s closed, but the door handle is gone. Don removed it after Enzo left earlier today.
“I’m safe.” Lies. But what can he do about it? “What are you doing for Christmas?” I ask, desperate to change the subject.
“Going to Mom’s,” he says, a smile in his voice.
“Must be nice.” I don’t say it bitterly, just truthfully. One day, Cora will have the most wonderful Christmases. I’ll make sure of it. I’ll be eighteen in February, and then I’ll change our lives for the better. So close.
“Jenna,” he murmurs. “I know how you feel, and I’m sorry.”
“Do you? Because I don’t even know how I feel half the time,” I grumble back.
“I was like you until…” He trails off and sighs. “Mom and Dad adopted me.”
He was a foster kid too?
“Were you happy?” I breathe, tears swimming in my eyes as I try to imagine that day. A nice new mom and dad to come pick you up and give you the lovely life like in all the movies.
“I was. It came at a great cost, though,” he says sadly. “Logan. They couldn’t handle us both. They already had Elijah.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. If someone separated Cora and I, I’d lose my mind. Hell no. She’s my baby. No one else’s. Mine.
“I’m here if you need to talk, is all I’m saying.”
Floorboards creak down the hallway and I freeze. “I have to go,” I blurt out before hanging up. I hide the phone under my pillow and pretend to sleep.
Creeeak.
I crack open an eye, expecting to see one of the boys, but my skin grows cold at seeing Don. He stands in the middle of the room, wearing only his boxers.
Go away. Go away. Go away.
Instead of walking toward me, he makes his way over to where Cora sleeps. Panic stills my heart. When he reaches for her, I let out a sleepy groan, hoping to scare him away. He freezes and turns my way.
Clamping my eyes shut, I try desperately to calm my nerves. When I feel a warm hand on my cheek, I suck in a sharp breath. He moves his hand under the blanket and gropes my breast over my sleepshirt. I’m stunned, fear keeping me immobile, until he slides his hand further down. He gets as far as my lower stomach before I lose it. I claw at his arm and twist my body, kicking and flailing at him to get him away from me.
“Fuck!” he snarls.
My foot connects with his precious family jewels and he howls in agony, falling to the floor, gripping his bruised cock and balls. Cora starts to cry at having been woke up. I slip from the bed and rescue my baby while Don whimpers from the floor.
“Get out of my room, pervert,” I hiss at him.
“Fucking bitch,” he mumbles as he rises on wobbly legs, still holding his dick.
Cora buries her face against the side of my neck and twists my hair. I hold her to me, fighting off tears. The phone buzzes beneath my pillow several times. When she falls back asleep, I pull it out.
Enzo: Are you okay?
Enzo: Jenna, let me know you’re okay.
Enzo: If you don’t answer, I’m going to call the police.
I cry silent tears as I read his texts. Finally, I reply back to him.
Me: I’m safe now, but I can’t stay here much longer. Get me out of here.
His response is immediate.
Enzo: Do I need to come now?
I turn the camera to me and Cora, and take a selfie that makes her jump from the bright flash. In the picture, she clings to me and I’m red-faced with tears soaking my cheeks. Most girls my age would be worried the guy they liked would see them at their worst.
I just want him to see me.
After I send him the picture, I type out a reply.
Me: Tomorrow is Christmas. Enjoy yours. I can fight that bastard off until then.
Before he can respond, I stow away the phone and fall asleep, praying that I truly can.
Enzo: Merry Christmas!
I groan as I squint at the morning light peeking in the window. It’s an overcast day because it’s snowing. Bright and obnoxious snow.
Me: Bah humbug.
He sends me a bunch of candy cane emojis and Santa faces, and I roll my eyes. Too early for this cheerful nonsense.
Me: Go away.
My phone that’s on silent flashes with an incoming call.
“What?” I grumble.
He chuckles. “You’re grouchy in the mornings.”
“Spoiler alert: I’m grouchy in the afternoons and evenings too.”
“Phone?” Cora asks, her sleepy eyes questioning me.
“Yes, phone. Shhh, our secret.” I smile at her and kiss her forehead. “Want to talk to Enzo?”
“Kwala bear,” she says, grinning.
“Your koala bear is right here,” I tell her, handing her the stuffed toy.
“I have one better,” Enzo rumbles. “Put me on FaceTime.”
It takes me a minute to figure it out, and then we’re staring at his handsome face. I hate that I probably look like a horror show right now, but it’s worth seeing him in his festive red sweater.
“This,” he tells us as he pulls a black cat into his lap, “is Halo.”
“Halo? Strange name,” I blurt out as Cora shrieks, “Kitty!”
He tilts the cat so we can see the white circle on the crown of its head. “For an angelic kitty, he’s quite a little demon.” He grins as he scratches the cat behind the ears. “Isn’t that right, Halo? A little baddie with the mean ol’ claws?”
Halo, unruffled by his teasing, cocks his head to the side and stares at us before letting out an unimpressed “meow.”
Cora grabs the phone and tries to kiss it, effectively melting my heart in the process.
“My baby loves animals,” I tell Enzo. “Right, banshee baby?”
Cora smooches the screen and giggles. “Cora lub kitty and Mommy and Zo.”
My cheeks heat at her words. Enzo’s smile falls and his brows scrunch in confusion.
“What time do you have to be at the festivities?” I ask, careful not to say any trigger words like “mom” around Cora.
“Noon. What are the plans there?”
There are no plans in hell. I keep this to myself because Cora likes to parrot the bad things I say.
“Just cuddle time, huh, Cora?”
Cora snuggles at my side. “Go bye-bye with Zo.”
Enzo’s eyes flash with pain as he realizes what Cora wants. “Hey, koala girl,” he coos. “I’ll come get you soon. Maybe tomorrow.”
