"I live here. I know what goes on."

  She shrugs. "It doesn't happen that often. And it doesn't mean we're dating."

  "But you want it to."

  She cuts the stems off the broccoli, pretending she didn't hear me.

  "Ana, I think you might be waiting for something that'll never happen. You know Brock. He's not great at relationships. Why would you even want to date him?"

  "He's good to me. And we..." She smiles. "We understand each other."

  "Still, you could do way better than Brock."

  She shakes her head. "No, I couldn't."

  "Sure you could. You're smart. Pretty. You can cook. Any guy would love to date you."

  She smiles, still cutting the broccoli. "You're sweet, but you don't know what it's like. Men don't want to date a girl who used to—" She stops, dropping the knife and going back to the fridge. "Are you sure you don't want anything? I could make you a sandwich. Or maybe some pasta?"

  "I don't need anything. I'm really not that hungry." I wait until she's back at the sink, then say, "I know about your past."

  She takes the carrots she was rinsing and sets them in the colander. "What do you mean?"

  "How you used to...you know...do stuff. With men. For money."

  "Who told you that?" she whispers. "Brock?"

  "Braden. And then I asked Trystan and he said it was true. Were they lying?"

  She shakes off the carrots and sets them on the cutting board. "It was only a few times. And only because I was desperate. I couldn't pay rent."

  "Braden made it sound like it was more than a few times. He said you got arrested."

  She throws her knife in the sink, making a loud clanking noise. "Why are you doing this? To make me feel bad? Like I don't feel bad enough about myself?"

  "No. I didn't mean it that way. I just meant that you have choices. You don't have to work here or date Brock because you think it's your only option. You could do better."

  "Believe me, this is as good as it gets. All the girls I know who got out are working minimum wage jobs and can barely pay rent."

  "There has to be somewhere else you could work. Ask Maria. She knows tons of people. I bet she'd know someone who needs a chef."

  Ana grabs a towel and wipes her hands. "I need to go outside and start the grill."

  She leaves and Braden walks in. "You still living here?" He goes to his drawer of protein bars.

  "Looking for your drugs?"

  "Go ahead and take them. I don't give a shit. I'll just get more."

  "I didn't take them."

  "Yeah, right," he says, taking two protein bars and ripping one open.

  "I thought you were at the gym."

  "I left early. I need to be on the field in a half hour."

  "You're going to practice? I thought you weren't going until later."

  "That was before I got the news."

  "What news?"

  A smug grin crosses his face. "Coach just called. Said enough parents signed the petition that Principal Edwards agreed to let me back on the team."

  "After you were arrested for murder?" I roll my eyes. "Did you pay them?"

  He laughs. "If they could, they'd pay ME to show up to the games. Almost every parent at Twisted Pine signed the petition. They only needed half that for me to play." He walks up to me. "More proof that I rule that school. They can't do shit without me. Even the parents will kiss my ass just to win a game."

  "Who didn't sign the petition? Do you know?"

  "Who the fuck cares? The only thing that matters is that I'm playing again." He goes to the fridge and takes out one of his protein waters, another thing I'm not allowed to touch.

  "Did Andrea play sports?" I ask.

  "Andrea?" he asks, confused.

  "Your ex. Did she play sports?"

  "I think she played tennis. Or golf." He shrugs. "Who the fuck knows?"

  "And now she can't play anymore. Because she's dead."

  "Why the fuck you talking about Andrea?" He swigs his water, then tosses the bottle in the sink.

  "I think it's sad she can't do that anymore. Or do anything. She didn't even get to finish high school. Don't you think that's sad?"

  "I don't really give a fuck. The bitch got drunk and did something stupid. She deserves what happened to her." He bites off the end of his protein bar and tosses the wrapper at me as he leaves. "Throw that away."

  I shake my head, disgusted with him. Does he really think Andrea deserved to die? Is that how he justifies what he did? Is that how he goes on living his life without even the slightest feeling of guilt?

  Back in my room, I call up Jackson.

  "Did you hear the news?" I ask when he answers.

  "What news?"

  "Braden is back on the team. The parents at Twisted Pine signed a petition to get him to play again."

  "How'd you find out?"

  "He just told me. I saw him in the kitchen. He's even more obnoxious now that he knows how much the parents want him to play. They're willing to ignore his arrest to make sure Twisted Pine wins the game on Friday."

  "They might not win. They're playing one of the best teams in the area. Not as good as Legion but close."

  "I asked him about Andrea."

  "What'd you say?"

  "I just asked if she played any sports. Then I made a comment about how sad it is she's missing out on her last year high school. He said it was her fault she died. That she deserved it."

  "Rumor, you can't be asking him questions like that. You shouldn't even be talking about Andrea. He'll think you know something."

  "It's hard to act normal when I know what he did. Same with Brock. Just being around those two makes me nervous."

  "Try to relax. And stay in your room. Be around them as little as possible. Or come down here and hang out."

  "Brock told me to stay away from you. He said we shouldn't be seen in public together. He said people with cameras are following us."

  He sighs. "Yeah. I saw one yesterday when I stopped to get gas. I was thinking it wouldn't happen until the trial but they're already here."

  "They got a picture of us in the parking lot. They saw us meeting your friend."

  "No shit? How do you know?"

  "Brock showed me the picture. He paid the guy ten thousand to get it back. He asked me what we were doing there."

  "What'd you tell him?"

  "That my phone broke and your friend fixed it. He didn't believe me but I didn't know what else to tell him. I'm worried he's going to find out what we know."

  "He won't if you act normal. Tell him you'll agree to not be seen with me in public. You'll get him on your side, and I actually agree with him on that. We don't want pictures of us showing up in the papers or online."

  "Are you saying we can't see each other?"

  "We can, but it has to be here. And you might need to sneak in the back."

  "Can I come over right now?"

  "Yeah, but we won't be alone. Some of the guys from the team are coming over. We're going to talk about this week's game."

  "They're still talking to you?"

  "They don't believe I killed Kristen. They don't think I did anything to Andrea either. Other people at school do, but not the team. Those guys are like family. They know I'd never do that."

  "How long will they be there?"

  "We're ordering food and watching last week's game so it'll probably be late. But you can still come over."

  "I should probably stay here. I have a paper due tomorrow."

  "Can you come over after school tomorrow?"

  "I have counseling. She texted me today with a reminder. I really don't like that lady. I dread our sessions."

  "Maybe if you suck up to Brock he'll let you stop going."

  "I doubt it, but I could try. I might just stop talking like I did with Ms. Adams."

  "Hey, before I forget, I got my test results back."

  "What test results?"

  "For STDs. I went in right after we talked. Got the results when I got home today. I'm clean. Everything's good."

  "That's great. Thanks for doing that."

  "How about you?"

  "Um, yeah, I haven't gone."

  "But you're going to, right?"

  "I don't know. I don't have a doctor here."

  "Rumor, we agreed we'd do this."

  "I know. I just haven't got around to it."

  "Would you do it soon? We need to know, especially if we stop using protection."

  I know I need to go but I haven't because I'm afraid of the answer. If I have something, it's because of Axl. We were each other's first and only, or that's what I thought until I found out he was with someone else. If these tests show I have something, it'll confirm that Axl, my first love, lied to me. He cheated. My heart still isn't ready to accept that.

  Chapter Four

  "Rumor?" Jackson says.

  "Yeah, I know. I'll do it."

  "If you don't know who to go to, you could ask someone at school. Maybe Alyssa. You two are friends now, right?"

  "Yeah. I could ask her. Or maybe Shayla, although I'm not sure she's allowed to talk to me anymore."

  "Why? Did something happen?"

  "Her mom thinks you're guilty. I don't think she wants me being friends with her daughter."

  "Because you're dating me? That's bullshit."

  "She's just being a mom. I get it. My mom would've been the same way."

  "The guys are here. I'll call you when they leave. I love you."

  "I love you too."

  The guys end up staying there until almost midnight so Jackson and I only talk a few minutes before going to bed.

  In the morning as I'm finishing my hair, I get my usual threat from Trystan along with banging on the door.

  "Leaving!" he yells.

  I yank open my door and see him walking away.

  "I'm right here! Just wait!"

  He ignores me and keeps walking. I follow him to the car. We get in and he blares the radio as he drives off.

  "You hear Braden's back on the team?" he asks, turning the music down.

  "Yeah. I guess that means Andrea's parents dropped the lawsuit."

  "They did, but now they're trying to get the town to go against him. They're holding a meeting later this week to get people to protest."

  "Protest what?"

  "Braden getting back on the team. They want people to protest the school. Get them to ban Braden from the team again."

  I hold back my smile. I'm secretly thrilled they're doing this. I thought they'd back down, and they did by dropping the lawsuit, but this new idea is even better. A protest will get more media coverage than a lawsuit.

  "I'm sure it won't work," I say.

  "So what happened with your dad's phone? You ever get it open?"

  "Yeah, but nothing was on it except a picture of my mom and me."

  "That sucks."

  "Yeah, I was hoping there'd be something on it that would tell me where he's at."

  "I meant it sucks that he left that on there. The photo. Makes you think he cared about you. But then he goes and ditches you."

  "I guess. But it's not like he thought I'd ever find it."

  "I'm sure he still does." Trystan takes the curve so fast the tires squeal.

  "Does what?" I ask, holding onto the door handle as he approaches another curve.

  Trystan shrugs. "You know, care about you. Ditching you is about his own shit. Drinking. Drugs. Whatever's going on with him."

  I look at Trystan, wanting to smile because he's being nice, but knowing that acknowledging that will just piss him off. He wants to be a bad boy like Braden. Mean and evil, not caring who he hurts. But that's just not Trystan. No matter how hard he tries, it's just not him.

  He stops abruptly at a red light, making my backpack tip over. I catch it before everything spills out.

  "I was thinking we could maybe see my mom this week."

  "Really?" I zip up my backpack. "When?"

  "Maybe Thursday? Depends on what else is going on."

  "Um, yeah, Thursday would probably work. Unless I have counseling."

  "You're still doing that? I thought you weren't going back."'

  "I don't want to, but your dad is making me. And I'm supposed to go for school. I think it was a minimum of five sessions but it might be more than that. I can't remember."

  "It's kind of fucked up that you're still getting punished after she's dead."

  "I know, but Principal Edwards hates me so I'm not surprised he's still making me do this. So what time on Thursday?"

  "We'll leave right after school. It'll take a couple hours to get there with traffic."

  "Are you going to tell her we're coming?"

  "Probably not. Even if I did, she wouldn't remember."

  "Are you telling your dad?"

  "I already did. He's good with it."

  "Did you tell him I'm going with you?"

  "Yeah. He told me to have you wait in a different room so I don't confuse her."

  "How would I confuse her?"

  "She won't understand why you're there. She'd probably think you're my girlfriend."

  "Even if you tell her I'm your cousin?"

  "Depends on how she's feeling that day. The maid will tell us. We'll ask her when we get there."

  "How often is the maid there?"

  "Every day. She doesn't just clean. She buys the groceries and makes meals and makes sure my mom is doing okay."

  "Did you tell Braden you're going to see your mom?"

  "No. He doesn't need to know. She's dead to him. He even tells people that. He says she's dead." He shakes his head. "I fucking hate him for that."

  "Maybe it's easier for him to think of her that way."

  "I don't give a fuck. She's not dead. And I'm sick of him saying that."

  He pulls up to the school and parks, then gets out and takes off. He never says goodbye. He just gets out and goes.

  "Bestie!" Peyton yells as I get out of the car. She runs up to me, swinging her long blond hair behind her shoulder. "You look different today. Did you have sex?"

  "No." I pick up my backpack and see some stuff spilled out on the floor when Trystan was driving.

  "I didn't either," she says, leaning against the car. "I had cramps and told him he'd have to wait until I'm better." She laughs. "He's so damn horny. The guy could do it every hour."

  "How often do you see him?" I ask, noticing my flash drive under the seat.

  "Every day, unless he's with his wife," she says.

  I grab the flash drive and the pens that fell out and stuff it all in my backpack.

  "She's so needy," Peyton says, twisting her hair around her finger.

  "He's married?" I ask, swinging my backpack over my shoulder. "You never told me that."

  "I told you he's old. All old guys are married."

  "No, they're not. Brock is old and he's not married."

  "I suppose." She puts her arm around mine and pulls on me to walk with her. "We should go do something after school."

  "I can't. I have counseling."

  "I need to see a doctor about these cramps." She rubs just below her stomach. "Maybe I'm pregnant."

  "Peyton, you say that every week."

  She laughs. "I know, and every time I think it's true. I'm going to call and get an appointment today."

  I stop and turn to her, lowering my voice. "Who's your doctor? I need to see someone."

  Her eyes widen. "You think you're pregnant?"

  "No, but I um...I need a new prescription for the pill," I say, not wanting to tell her the truth. But I actually do need a new prescription. I should get it while I'm there.

  "My gyno is the best!" she says, getting way too excited about her gynecologist. "He's sooo hot. I just stare at him and forgot all about what he's doing."

  "You think your doctor is hot? Gross! Just forget it. I'll find someone else. I don't want a guy doctor for this." I walk off.

  "Rumor, wait!" She catches up to me. "The place I go to has like four doctors. Two are women. You can go to one of them. You want the number?"

  I stop and check that nobody's around. "If you have it, then yeah."

  We get our phones out and she gives me the number.

  "A lot of the girls here go to Dr. Madden. Alyssa's been to both Madden and Glover so you could ask her who she likes. They're both women."

  "Okay, thanks." I put my phone away. "We should get to class."

  As we're walking to the door, she sighs. "I better not be pregnant. I don't want to get fat."

  "I'm sure you're not." I open the door and see posters all over the walls celebrating Braden's return to the football team. It makes my stomach turn. I know at least some people think he killed Andrea, and yet everyone keeps praising him and treating him like a god.

  "Hey, Alyssa," I say as she goes by me in the hall.

  She ignores me, staring straight ahead.

  "What's up with her?" I ask.

  "She's not talking to you," Peyton says as we walk to the lockers. "She said you guys had a fight."

  "We didn't fight." I stop at my locker. "She's really not talking to me? She said that?"

  "Yeah, but you know how she is. She gets mad and then gets over it. It's like with her and Kade. Did you know they're back together?"

  "No. When did that happen?"

  "After school yesterday." Peyton sighs. "They had sex. I'm so jealous."

  "You have sex all the time."

  "But not last night." She smiles. "Maybe tonight. I'm already feeling better."

  "How does this guy get time to meet with you if he's married and has a job?"

  "Men make time for what they want." She leans into me. "And believe me, he wants me. More than anything else."

  "More than I needed to know, but okay." I shut my locker.

  "See ya, bestie!" She gives me a quick hug before heading to class.

  She's so strange. I knew some strange people in New York but she's even stranger.

  At lunch, I get to my seat and see two twenty dollar bills sitting where I put my tray.

  "What's this?" I ask Dante.

  "They're back together."

  "Oh, yeah, I forgot." I take the bills and shove them in my pocket, smiling at Dante and Miles. "Thanks for the cash."

  "You earned it," Miles says. "But you're not getting in on the next one."

  "Why not?" I ask, sitting down.

 

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