Chaos forged, p.7
Chaos Forged, page 7
Danielle couldn’t help but smile back. “Hopefully it’ll boost everyone’s morale to get a real meal.”
“We could use it,” he responded with a grimace. “Need any help?”
Danielle flicked a glance at Sabin. “Maybe you could let everyone know what’s on the menu and find out how they like their steaks? Not that I’m going to guarantee that I can get them cooked to order, but I’ll give it a try.”
“Why don’t I handle cooking the steaks, then? Sabin can take orders.”
Dismay flickered through Danielle. It was a direct challenge however mundane it seemed. Sabin, she discovered, was studying Nick, a faint smile hovering about his lips which might be interpreted as anything from amusement about Nick’s none too subtle attempt to oust him to a courteous reception of the order. “I believe this refers to the custom of cooking the flesh thoroughly or leaving it mostly raw?”
Nick flicked him a mildly irritated glance as he began tossing the steaks on the grill. “Not exactly a custom. It’s a matter of personal taste.”
“Why not simply divide the steaks and cook some to each preference? It will be useless to question either the grundts or the draes. They are not familiar with this type of flesh and neither are On or I. You do not know the preferences of your crewmates?”
Danielle gaped at him, wondering if it seemed to Nick that Sabin had issued a counterchallenge or if it was just her imagination. From the look that crossed Nick’s features, she guessed the former. She was tempted to volunteer to go herself, but decided she didn’t really want to leave Nick and Sabin alone. “Sabin can help me get the plates. I’m sure they should be washed before we use them.”
Without waiting for either man to comment, she headed to the sink and turned the faucet to begin filling it was hot water. The soap, she was sure, would be sufficient to kill most any germs that might linger, but she searched for bleach and added a little to the water for good measure. She discovered when she turned to get the plates that Sabin had already brought a stack. He leaned down to set them in the water.
“It’s hot!”
The caution came too late. He’d already shoved his hands into the water. It seemed unnecessary, though. The temperature of the water didn’t seem to bother him. It was hot enough to scald her, though, she quickly discovered.
She flicked a wide-eyed look at him when she did.
He frowned. “I am mahn, not human.”
There was just a hint of irritation in his voice.
Danielle left him to sterilize the plates and gathered up eating utensils and glasses, rinsing as he washed. The others, either drawn by the smells or their empty stomachs or merely because they’d been promised food, began to wander in by ones and twos as they began to assemble the plates and the dilemma of how well to cook the steaks was resolved. Danielle had already picked up her own plate when she realized Lindsey was the only one that hadn’t come. After debating briefly, she decided to leave their plates on one of the tables and see if she could coax Lindsey out of the room.
Lindsey seemed reluctant even to open the door for her. Danielle was beginning to think she was going to have to go back and get help when she finally heard the locks being turned. Lindsey opened the door little more than a crack and peered around the hallway.
“We fixed a meal. Come on and see if you can eat something.”
Lindsey stared at her blankly, as if she’d never heard the words. “I’m not hungry,” she said finally.
“You should try to eat anyway.”
Lindsey shook her head.
She spent nearly ten minutes trying to coax her out of the room and finally gave up. “I’ll bring yours when I come back, ok?”
Instead of responding, Lindsey shut the door and locked it again.
Worry descended over Danielle as she returned to the restaurant. Everyone handled their emotions differently, but she didn’t think Lindsey was handling hers at all well.
Resolving to discuss Lindsey’s mental health with Su-lynn, she did her best to put it from her mind and enjoy the meal she’d helped prepare. The others, she discovered, seemed considerably cheered and revived by the food. Although for the most part their behavior was still strained, they were at least making an effort to relax and behave more normally.
She found that the hot food had a similar beneficial effect on her. The hard knot of anxiety in her belly eased somewhat, making it possible to do justice to the meal without feeling as if she was going to throw up the moment she finished. For the most part, the group had segregated themselves. Her crewmembers had taken two tables close together. The crew from the Mertosin, with the exception of Sabin, On, and Bork, had settled together at a table at a little distance from the Earth people.
“This is very strange in taste and texture,” Bork commented when they’d finished eating, “but interesting. What sort of animal does this flesh come from?”
Danielle discovered when she looked up that Bork was looking directly at her. Clancy began an explanation, however, before she could respond. Bork looked mildly annoyed, which made her wonder if Nick had been right about the possibility of him being interested in her on a personal level—shudder! Relieved that Clancy had distracted him, she returned her attention her meal.
When she’d eaten all she could hold, she glanced at Nick and smiled. “It was very good.”
Nick grinned at her and shrugged. “I just burned it. You seasoned it.”
Her smile widened. “It was good because you didn’t burn it. I’m not sure I could’ve managed to cook so many and get them just right.”
“Careful. You’ll give me a big head.”
“He couldn’t handle it getting any bigger,” Bud tossed at him. “He wouldn’t be able to carry it around.”
“Bite me,” Nick said good-naturedly, flicking him a bird.
“Sorry, man. I don’t swing that way.”
“That ain’t what I heard,” Nick said provokingly.
“You need to clean your ears more often.”
“We talking tongue bath here? ‘Cause I wouldn’t mind one of those if I could convince Danielle here to offer.”
“Not for a steak dinner,” Danielle said tartly. “Particularly when, as you pointed out, I did half the work.”
“So, I’ll volunteer to do all the work if I can interest you.”
“Well, you can’t, so give it up!”
“How ‘bout you, Joyce?”
“Fuck you, LaRoche,” Joyce said without heat.
“Now we’re talking!”
She gave him a look. “In your dreams.”
Nick sent her a smoldering look. “You always are.”
She studied him a moment, obviously trying to decide whether to take the bait or not. “So what’s my role?”
A slow, triumphant grin curled Nick’s lips. “Angel of mercy.”
Joyce uttered a snort of amusement. “Angling for pity sex, LaRoche?”
He spread his hands in a gesture of surrender. “I’ll take it any way I can get it. It’s all good.”
“I don’t know whether to take you up on it—just to watch you try to squirm out of it—or throw something at you!”
Nick chuckled. “I don’t know which I’d like better—depends on what you’re thinking about throwing my way.”
“I give up!” Joyce exclaimed. “You win.”
“You will?”
She shook her head at him. “Nope. I’m not interested in doing anything but sleeping in a bed I don’t have to be strapped to. Nice try, though.”
“You don’t know what you’re missing.”
She sent him a thoughtful look. “For the sake of your ego, I’m going to let that slide.”
“Uh oh. Somebody gave me a bad report card.”
“Don’t look at me!” Danielle said tartly when Nick bent a speculative look on her. It irritated her the moment the words were out, because it was much as an admission. On the other hand, she doubted their brief affair was much of a secret.
Dismissing her pique, she slid a glance at the visitors, wondering what they made of the exchange. They looked puzzled—even Sabin who’d seemed to know the most about them—not surprising, but it still amused her.
She didn’t doubt that they all had a fair idea of the subject of the conversation, but she also doubted that they’d really grasped that it was nothing more than joking around. Joyce and Su-lynn were life-partners and neither woman, as far as she knew, ever went the other way.
For that matter, she could see Su-lynn hadn’t particularly enjoyed the exchange, even though she hadn’t said anything. She was inclined to be just a tad possessive.
And maybe that was why Joyce had enjoyed it so much—because she was teasing Su-lynn, not Nick?
She hoped it didn’t develop into a fight once they got to their room. Nick, naturally, wouldn’t consider that or, if he did, he wouldn’t care. He rarely gave a thought to anyone other than himself.
When the party began to break up, Su-lynn and Joyce offered to handle cleanup. Danielle got up and followed Su-lynn into the kitchen to warm Lindsey’s food since it gave her an opportunity to talk without making her anxieties about Lindsey public.
“How’s Lindsey doing?”
Relieved as she was that Su-lynn had given her the opening she needed, Danielle still found herself struggling with her impressions. “I don’t honestly know. Not well.”
Su-lynn studied her. “You think she’s going to have a break?”
“It would be more accurate to say I’m afraid she might. She’s not herself.”
Su-lynn was thoughtful for a moment. “If you’ll come with me to my room, I’ll get her a sedative for tonight.”
When they left the kitchen, they saw that most of the others had cleared out. Su-lynn went to speak to Joyce, who’d found a cleanup cart and was collecting the dishes. Sabin approached her.
“There is a problem?”
Danielle shook her head. She’d been reluctant to discuss the possibility that at least one of their group might be headed for a psychotic break with anyone else in their group. She sure as hell wasn’t going to discuss it with one of the visitors. It might transpire that it wasn’t anything that could be kept quiet, but until and unless it did, she wasn’t going to volunteer anything. “Lindsey’s upset. Su-lynn’s going to get me a sedative for her to help her rest. I’m sure she’ll be fine.”
His gaze was too knowing for her comfort. He merely nodded, though, and left the room. Su-lynn joined her a few moments later and headed out at a brisk walk. “I don’t like the idea of leaving Joyce alone.”
Danielle could see her point. “I appreciate this.”
Su-lynn shook her head. “No problem. It’s my job, and I’m worried about her, too. I just feel a little uneasy about leaving Joyce or I’d take the time to try to evaluate her now.”
“A good night’s rest might be enough to steady her.”
Su-lynn shook her head. “I don’t know. We haven’t seen the worst by any stretch of the imagination.”
She didn’t elaborate. She didn’t have to. And Danielle knew she was right. If Lindsey was already showing signs of cracking under the strain, it wasn’t likely to get better. They couldn’t leave her to protect her from having to deal with the situation. Not only did they need to stay together, but they all knew that all of them together weren’t up to what they were going to be called upon to handle.
Lindsey didn’t open the door when they got back. They beat on the panel and called her until it brought Bud, Nick, and Bork into the corridor. Sabin and On joined them as Bud and Nick began battering at the door with their shoulders, trying to break it down.
A horrible thought flitted through Danielle’s mind as the men beat on the door. She tried to banish it but couldn’t push it from her mind once it had formed. Instead, certainty began to take hold of her when Lindsey neither came to the door or answered.
Sabin and On moved to the door when Bud and Nick drew back to catch their breath, one on either side. Instead of battering at it with their shoulders, however, they each lifted a hand and slid it along the door panel. She heard the dull thud of something hitting the carpet and the distinct chink of metal scraping against metal and then the door fell inward. They caught the edges that appeared as the door fell back into the room. Sabin shifted his grip to each side and moved the door out of the way.
As stunned and confused as Danielle was, she was too concerned about Lindsey to try to understand what had happened at the moment. Su-lynn surged into the opening as soon as Sabin had cleared the way. She rushed into the room behind the other woman.
The bathroom door was standing open. Su-lynn had dashed inside and dropped to her knees.
Lindsey was lying in a tub filled with blood, her face as white as paper. The sight brought Danielle to a jarring halt.
“Get my medical satchel! She’s cut her wrists!”
Everything happened in a nightmarish swirl of impressions after that. Time seemed to flow jerkily, slowing to a halt, inching forward, shifting to fast forward and then jerking to a halt again. There was a brief scuffle while all the people crowding the corridor and the entrance to the room began to struggle to move in different directions. On and Sabin pushed past her. Sabin grasped Lindsey’s head and shoulders. On grabbed her feet and the two men lifted her from the tub. Danielle fought her way past the others and ran down the hall as fast as she could. Nick was on her heels. She couldn’t figure out why until she tried to rush into the room and discovered the automatic lock had caught. Nick pushed her aside and unlocked it. They both charged inside, looked around frantically, and finally spied the satchel. Nick beat her to it, snatched it up, and raced back down the corridor.
Feeling helpless, useless, Danielle followed him, forcing her way into the room again when they reached it.
Su-lynn was covering Lindsey’s pale face with a sheet when she reached the foot of the bed. Danielle stared at the sheet in disbelief for several moments before she looked at Su-lynn. “It can’t be too late. It can’t be.”
Someone led her to a chair and pushed on her gently until her knees buckled and she plopped into it. Sabin crouched in front of her. After studying her face a moment, he caught her wrist, pressing his fingers along the pulse point. Danielle stared at him blankly for a moment and finally began trying to thrust him away. “I’m fine! Lindsey’s the one who needs help!”
Su-lynn gestured for everyone to leave and moved to her, taking Sabin’s place as he straightened. “Put your head between your knees, Danny. You look like you’re going to pass out.”
Danielle yielded when Su-lynn wrapped a hand around the back of her neck and urged her forward, pressing her forehead to her knees. “I’m alright. Lindsey …?”
She heard Su-lynn swallow. “We were too late to help, Danny.”
Danielle felt her throat tighten painfully with the urge to cry. “I was too late,” she contradicted, lifting her head to look at Su-lynn. “She didn’t want to be left alone.”
“Don’t beat yourself up over this, Danny!” Su-lynn said bracingly. “There was no way you could’ve anticipated she would do something like this.”
“But I should’ve! I knew she was upset! I knew she didn’t want to be alone!”
“We’re all upset!” Su-lynn said sharply. “You did everything right. We all needed something to eat. You told me about your concerns. You aren’t a psychologist! If anyone should’ve noticed and done something to prevent it, it was me!”
“She was my friend! And I let her down. I wasn’t there when she needed me!”
Su-lynn studied her face a moment and helped her up. “Come on. We’ll find you another room. You can’t stay here.”
A shudder raked through Danielle, but she didn’t argue. She discovered when Su-lynn had helped her up that most of the group still lingered in the corridor outside the room.
“Would you like to share a room with me and Joyce?”
“There’s another room on this hall,” Nick volunteered.
Su-lynn shook her head at him. Danielle had calmed down enough by that time to realize what the look meant that the two of them exchanged. She straightened away from Su-lynn. “I’m fine. I’d actually prefer to be alone.”
“I don’t think you should be alone,” Su-lynn said, trying to keep her voice reassuring.
Danielle met her gaze. “I need to be alone right now. If it’ll make you feel better, I won’t use the security locks. I just … can’t handle having to deal with sympathy right now. I’m not going to do anything stupid.”
She felt guilty—more guilty—the moment the words were out. She hadn’t meant to imply that Lindsey had, and yet it seemed to hang between them.
“Good!” Su-lynn said bracingly. “I have a sedative if you think you’ll need it.”
She nodded instead of refusing it outright. “Thanks. I think I’ll take a shower first.”
“I’ll stay with her,” Nick volunteered when he’d opened the door for her.
“No!” Danielle said, more sharply than she’d intended. “I’m sorry. I appreciate the offer, but I really don’t want to be with anyone right now.”
They left her with obvious reluctance. After standing in the middle of the room for some moments, Danielle finally moved to one of the beds and flopped down on the edge, covering her face with her hands. She tried to summon tears. She felt like she needed to, that if she could just let go for a few minutes she wouldn’t feel like she was going to fracture into a million pieces.
Discovering she was too numb to cry, she got up and headed toward the bathroom. A knock on the door halted her as she reached it and she turned to open the door. Nick was on the other side holding her duffle bag. “You should’ve asked who it was before you opened it,” he said tightly.
“I didn’t want anybody beating the door down. Thanks, Nick.”
He crowded the door when she took the bag and tried to shut it. “Let me come in.”
She glared at him. “Don’t, Nick! I can’t handle this right now.” He didn’t move. She gritted her teeth. “Damn it, Nick! Just don’t! I really, really can’t deal with anything right now.”
