Missing chord, p.25
Missing Chord, page 25
I hugged him tighter.
“I’m tired.” He leaned on me, and I was glad I could support him.
I twisted to kiss his cheek. “Let me help. I know me not following doctor’s orders was one more stress for you, but I love you. I want to be there for you, fate willing.”
He mumbled with his lips brushing my hair below my beret, “I love you too. Kicking you to the curb won’t save me from pain if anything happens to you.”
“And just think of everything we’d be losing if it doesn’t.”
“Yeah. That’s what Yolanda said. Not directly because I didn’t tell her, but just, like, life’s too short. Not to let fear keep me from going for what I want, what I need.”
“I want you, in every way I can have you,” I told him. “I won’t give up music, even if I can’t sing after the surgery and have to go instrumental.” I fought down a moment of panic. It’ll be fine. Whatever happens, if I have Lee, it’ll be okay. “Music’s in my blood. But I will try to find a way to fit it around a life with you, if you want that too.”
“So much.” He hugged me back, then pushed me away enough to find my mouth with his. Our kiss was fumbling at first in the uncertain light. Then he tilted his head, and we fit perfectly.
Yes. Fuck, yes, all I need.
I’d known through all the years, even when I was at the top of my game, that something was missing in the song of my life, some note, some lyric, some chord vital to reach life’s true promise. Lee loving me, kissing me, trusting me, was that missing chord. So right.
My head still spun with the echoes of my performance and the surreal lows and highs. The feel and taste and scent of Lee made me dizzy with need. I kissed him like I could eat him, like he was food and air. He kissed me back just as desperately. I felt him getting hard against my hip and ground into him, groaning, opening my mouth for his demanding tongue—
“Okay, folks, break it up.” A bright light shone in my eyes for a moment, then lowered.
I let go of Lee, squinting through the afterimage at the person with the flashlight. Venue security, most likely.
Confirmed when he asked, “You folks got your passes?”
I showed him my performer lanyard and assured him Lee was my guest, a phrase that made Lee snort.
“He should be wearing his pass,” the guard scolded, like they didn’t run into performers and groupies all the time, probably.
“Yes, sir. We’ll remember that.” I slung an arm over Lee’s shoulders.
“Right.” The guard turned away, then hesitated. “Great performance tonight, Mr. Marsh. I’m a huge fan.”
“That’s cool. Hey, want me to sign something?”
“We’re not supposed to ask.” But he hesitated.
“You didn’t ask, I did.”
He patted himself down, looking frustrated.
Lee pulled a folded ball cap out of his pocket. I recognized one of my swag I’d arranged for a retailer to sell here for a commission, back when my brain could actually care about those things. “How about this? Yolanda made me get one.”
“Perfect.” I could get him a hundred more if he wanted. I took the cap from him, fumbled a baby Sharpie out of my pocket, and signed my name below the Griffin logo. “What name should I put on it?”
“Rick would be great.”
I angled the brim toward his flashlight and wrote, “For Rick, a shining light in venue security.”
The guard read the inscription and laughed. “That’s awesome. Thanks, Mr. Marsh. You guys take care, now.”
As he strode away, I grabbed Lee and collapsed with laughter against his shoulder, my eyes squeezed shut. “Oh my God, I am too old to be busted by venue security. Although I guess it’s karma.”
“How so?”
“I cockblocked Axel from Grindstone when he was making out with some hot older dude a few days ago.”
Lee chuckled. “Poor guys. Speaking of cockblocking, you think we could find somewhere to go where no one will shine bright lights in our eyes?”
“Your motel room? I love the Chaser peeps but that bus is not private.” I wasn’t ready to share Lee with everyone yet, and my dick was not in a mood to spend time socializing. I had to stop myself from going back to grinding on him now, security be damned.
“I guess.” Lee wrinkled his nose. “My room is seriously dodgy, but the door does shut and the bed’s a king.”
“Lead the way.” Sore throat, declining career, bad mistakes, parole— nothing could keep me from feeling high as a kite when I had the right to haul Lee in close and kiss him again on our way to his bed.
Chapter 22
Lee
~You can’t bring Griffin Marsh on the event shuttle OMG you’ll cause a riot.
I stared at the reply from Yolanda to my update of ~Griff and I heading to the motel. U ready to go? Meet at the bus?
Before I could respond, she added, ~Don’t worry about me. I’m going to stick around and see the last band. You two have fun but find a safe way to get there.
I angled my phone at Griffin who sighed. “She’s not wrong. Most of the time, folks don’t recognize me these days. But an hour after I got off the stage at a rock fest is different.”
“Ideas? I’d say call Lyft or Uber but the town’s so small, I heard the few people who do that are swamped out of their minds. They turn down most requests and charge a fortune for the runs they do take.”
“Let’s go back to the Chaser bus and see if anyone has options.” Griffin held out his hand to me.
I’d never held hands with anyone in public, but tonight, I wanted that contact as much as he did. That moment when he’d closed his arms around me was the best feeling I’d ever known. And yes, I included sex in that. Although I couldn’t wait to get back to the motel and do a side-by-side comparison. Plus front to back, front to front, top to bottom…
Griffin wiggled his fingers at me. “Coming?”
“Not yet.” I took his hand. “I’m still reeling a bit. You love me?”
He raised my hand and kissed my knuckles. “Six ways from Sunday.”
“It’s Sunday. I expect a demonstration of those six ways.” I let him guide me through the dim maze of buildings and buses. “Did you tell your friends about me?” I couldn’t help worrying what they’d think of the guy who dumped their friend, even if we were un-dumped now.
“Not by name. Nothing specific, either. Just that I met someone and it didn’t go well.”
“Most of it went excellent. Just a wobble at the end.”
“I’ll explain that to them.” He paused outside one of the few buses left in a center row. The Chaser Lost logo slashed across the black-painted exterior and a group portrait of the band stared at me from beside the door.
“That’s huge. Do they own it? Stupid question with their pictures on it, huh?”
“Not stupid. You can rent a tour bus and have a logo wrap put on temporarily. But yeah, Pete owns this one and the crew bus parked behind it, too. The amount they tour, comfort’s worth guaranteeing.” He punched a code in by the bus door and a moment later it hissed open. “Come on.” He led the way up the steps.
Surreal was perhaps the best word for climbing up into the bus of a world-famous band and seeing the musicians lounging around in sweats with their hair tousled and beers in hand. Pete Lebraun raised his beer can at Griffin. “There you are, bro. How’d it go?” Then he spotted me and sat up straighter. “Oh, hi, welcome to the bus.”
“Thank you.” I licked my dry lips and moved closer behind Griffin.
“Guys, this is my boyfriend—” Griffin broke off and glanced back at me. I nodded vigorously. “—boyfriend, Lee Robertson. Lee, the Scooby gang.” He ducked as the keyboardist flung a pillow at his head. “Also known as Chaser Lost. That’s Pete, Shondra with the vicious pillows, Quinn, Zoe, Ulrich. And their awesome techs, Kane, Vic, Royson, and two folks whose names I never got.”
“Terrison.” A big dark guy saluted me with his beer.
“Vanessa,” the blond woman called out. She was the one who’d come to fetch me and Yolanda before the hour that had just changed my life.
“Vanessa.” Griffin put his palms together and bowed to her. “I owe you a big one. Seriously.”
“De nada,” she said.
“Good to meet all of you,” I told them.
Griffin went on, “Much as I want you folks to get to know each other, right now I’m trying to find a way to get us back to Lee’s motel in town without creating a riot on the shuttle bus.”
Ulrich wolf-whistled and laughed when Shondra elbowed him.
Vanessa pushed to her feet. “I drove my own car up here. I get carsick on buses. I can give you a ride.”
“Seriously?” Griffin smiled at her. “Now I owe you my second-born as well as my first-born.”
“Unless you know something about gay sex that I don’t, I won’t hold my breath.” She dug under the table and came up with a fanny pack.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Ulrich told Griffin.
Pete laughed. “Not narrowing it down much.” He pushed to his feet, went over to a locked box, and dug something out. “Here.” He passed a laminated card on a lanyard to me. “Crew pass, in case you need to come back in. We always have a couple of extras in case someone gets sick and we need a pinch hitter.”
“Oh, um, thank you.”
When I took hold of the pass, Pete held on a moment longer, meeting my eyes. “Be good to Griff, right? He may seem like a big tough guy, but we’re all vulnerable and easy to hurt underneath.”
I wondered if Griffin had described how we’d broken up. All I could say was, “I’ll try hard not to hurt him again.”
“Fair enough.” Pete let go and dropped back into his seat.
Griffin said, “I’m a big boy, Pete. I got this.”
Pete raised an eyebrow at him but didn’t respond.
Vanessa came down the aisle toward us. “I’m parked behind the crew bus. Blue Chevy.”
“Lead the way.” Griffin stepped aside to let her by, then asked Pete, “What time are you hitting the road tomorrow?”
“Nine-ish? We can come by the motel and pick you up, though, so you don’t have to find a way back.”
“Hell, yeah, I’d appreciate it.” Griffin sketched a wave. “Night, everyone. You killed it. Seriously, most amazing show I’ve ever seen you do. And you backed me up like fucking angels. You’re the best.”
A chorus of goodnights followed us out of the bus behind Vanessa.
She led us to a mid-sized sedan. Griffin waved me into the passenger seat and took the back, on the grounds that I needed the leg room. He wasn’t wrong. I’d spent a lot of the day on my feet and danced more than I had in the last ten years. While I wished I was sitting in the back too, pressed against him, it would’ve made Vanessa seem like a chauffeur, and I couldn’t deny getting to stretch out my legs was heaven. I sighed. Maybe extra hard.
Vanessa looked over at me as she backed out of her parking space and laughed. “Long day?”
“But so worth it.” I glanced over my shoulder, almost afraid I wouldn’t see Griffin back there. His smile in the dim back seat settled my nerves. “Weirdest day ever but best ending in the world.”
Griffin gave me a thumbs up.
Vanessa didn’t chatter as she drove, and the things Griffin and I wanted to say to each other were private. We rolled along the moonlit desert highway in comfortable silence. Vanessa seemed to know where the motel was, which was good because I’d have had to dig my phone out and GPS it. She pulled right up to my unit when I gave her the number and said, “Goodnight, guys.”
Griffin leaned forward. “I owe you a ton, for finding Lee and Yolanda, for this drive. If I offer you a big tip will that be welcome or not so much?”
Vanessa smiled. “I have three kids back home with my husband. I won’t say no to a tip.”
“Great.” Griffin dug out his wallet and passed her several bills folded together.
We got out and watched her drive off, then turned to my door. “Don’t expect much,” I warned as I unlocked it.
“All I need is you,” Griffin answered. “Although grabbing clean underwear while I had the chance might’ve been smart.”
“I don’t have enough brain cells for smart tonight.” I ushered him past me, switched on the light, and closed the door behind us.
“Me neither.” Griffin pushed me back till my butt hit the door and kissed me.
His mouth on mine, his thigh between my legs, set my world on fire. I needed more, right now, needed Griffin as close as I could get him, lips and skin and dick and breath. I clutched his ass in both hands and hauled him in tighter. He laughed against my mouth and nipped my lip, grinding our bodies together.
“Bed,” I gasped, because as hot as this was I wanted him naked. “Clothes off.”
“Fuck, yeah.”
We separated to strip, not taking the time to make it slow and sexy. I’d do slow later, tease and torture Griffin until he was begging. Right now, I just wanted him under me, skin to skin. I yanked off the bedcovers and tipped Griffin onto the mattress. He went willingly, grinning up at me, and I plastered myself on top of him and kissed him till we were both breathless.
When I had to pull back and take a deep breath, I propped myself on my elbows to look down at him. Griffin Marsh, my Griffin, lay there caged by my elbows, his lips reddened from my kisses, pupils blown wide. His hair haloed his head, ebony and silver, and his chest rose and fell under me.
“Am I too heavy?” I slid up a knee to lift a little of my considerable weight off him.
He locked his arms across my back. “You’re perfect. I love having you pinning me down. It feels… safe.”
Griffin had spent a long time with no one to care about him. I’d seen pictures of his trial, and the only person at his side through all of it had been his lawyer. That bare little apartment he’d been living in had no photos, no personal touches, when I first saw it. He’s been so alone.
I kissed him again, my desperate lust slowing with the need to show Griffin how important he was to me. “I love you. I’ve missed you.” I mouthed along the angle of his jaw, enjoying the way his soft stubble prickled my lips. “Let me show you how incredible you are. Let me love you.” Sliding down his body, I kissed as I went— throat and neck, the tender hollow above his clavicle, one rounded shoulder, over the trapezius, deltoid, biceps, curves of strong muscle under soft skin. Griffin worked out enough to give his arms gorgeous definition. I ran my tongue across his chest and nuzzled my bearded chin into his armpit until he squirmed and giggled.
“Hold still and let me.” I took a heady breath of his sweaty male scent.
“I should shower.”
“I like you dirty. Clean sweat, hard earned.”
“Something’s hard, anyway.” He arched under me, thrusting his erection against my stomach.
“Patience. I’ll get there.” Maybe now was the time for slow after all. Slow enough to cherish every part of this man. I kissed his pecs, mouthing through the scant silvering hair, then sucked on one fat brown nub.
Griffin grunted, his tit tightening in my mouth as I tugged. He stuffed a pillow behind his head and threaded his fingers in my hair, pressing me more firmly over his nipple. His breath shortened as I used the edge of my teeth, then sucked harder. I let him slip from my mouth and moved to the other side, then lower. Slowly, steadily, I licked and bit and sucked every inch of his broad chest, scooting down as I reached his abs. Firm muscle under a cushiony soft layer there too. Not like my own belly—
As if he’d heard my thoughts, Griffin tugged on my hair and tipped my head up so our eyes could meet. “You’re so fucking hot. Every bit of you. Watching you lying on top of me, using your mouth on me? That’s my goddamned biggest fantasy come to life.” He released my curls to run his hands over my back and shoulders and sides, as far down as he could reach and wrapped a leg across my ass. The glow in his eyes made it impossible not to believe him. Somehow, by some miracle, I was what Griffin Marsh wanted.
I lowered my head, the look on his face almost too much. Instead, I focused on his soft stomach, going back to sucking and biting, licking up each groove from groin to hip, ignoring his hard cock bobbing alongside my cheek except to give it a brush with my beard now and then.
“Ah, fuck,” he groaned. “Two inches to your right.”
I laughed, then licked a stripe up his shaft.
“Yeah, there.” His fingers dug into my hair again. “Please?”
Tenderness overwhelmed me. I wanted to give him everything. I eased to one side, braced myself better on knees and elbows, and sucked his cock down. Griffin’s hips came off the bed as he grunted loudly. I coughed and he let go of my head.
“Sorry. You okay?”
“Perfect,” I assured him. “You can pull my hair a bit. I like it.” Then I went to town on his cock, sucking and licking, swirling my tongue around the head, running the edge of my teeth up the shaft, and plucking at the sensitive harp string, then began plunging deep. I developed a rhythm, my throat relaxing to take him. The weight of Griffin’s hands on my head centered me, the taste and scent of him filled me, his gasps and moans were my music.
“Coming!” he warned me between mutters of “Fuck,” and “God,” and I sucked harder. Yes. Come on. There we go. Griffin groaned deep and low, clutching my hair, and came hard. I swallowed down his climax, pulse after pulse as he trembled underneath me. Each shudder of aftershock was my triumph.
I kept up a rhythmic suction until he slumped and pushed my head. Then I let his slick length slide from my mouth and raised my gaze.
“Holy shit.” Griffin blinked down at me, his chest heaving, chin damp, mouth open. He let his hands and legs drop to the bed. “God. Wow.”
And you’re so good with words. But I didn’t want to tease him, I wanted to bask in making Griffin a blissful, fucked out mess. I placed a kiss over his hip.
