Let it be me, p.16
Let It Be Me, page 16
Since my father had died, my life had changed so much, and it made me wonder what he would think of it. Would he find it hilarious that his son was in my favorite band? Would he think I was stupid that I didn’t follow my job to Miami and that I was now unemployed? What would he say about Noah?
“Emma, hey,” Noah said as I jumped out of my thoughts and looked at him as he walked up to me. “Was calling your name and you were just in this daze. You okay?”
“Dylan made the comment once that if I was your girlfriend, I wouldn’t need a job,” I said as he made a face. “I need a job and not one that you guys give me. Like, I think what he wants to do is amazing, but I just …”
“He probably said that because that’s usually what happens,” Noah said as I sighed. “One reason why I don’t think his relationship with Renee really worked. But you don’t have to worry about that with us.”
“I don’t?”
“No … you want to go home and get a normal job, then I want you to and we’ll figure stuff out,” he said as I stared him in his eyes, almost searching in them. What I was searching for, I had no idea. “If you don’t and you want to travel with me when I work and tour and stuff, then I’m okay with that. You don’t need to worry about anything.”
“I feel like I need to work.”
“Then get a job, Emma.”
“But I want to work … but I … I want to go where you go,” I said as he smiled. “I’ll figure it out.”
“You don’t have to figure anything out,” he said, pulling me closer to him. “You need to stop worrying. Stop worrying about a job. Stop worrying about hurting me. Just go with it, Emma. Just live.”
“I’ve spent my entire life worrying about everything. My weight. My parents. My relationships. The only thing I never worried about was the Great Divide.”
“And now you have two of us wrapped around your finger,” he said as I buried my head in his chest. “You don’t have to worry about anything with me.”
“Why is that?” I asked, moving my head back to look at him.
“Do you know why I never brought girls here?” he asked as I shook my head slowly. “I always said this was going to be my bachelor’s pad. No girls allowed. I never wanted to settle down. After Camila, I really didn’t want to … but then I got to know you, and something clicked, and it all happened so fast.”
“It did.”
“It did.”
“It did.”
“I’m scared I’m going to screw it up somehow, Noah,” I said softly as he shook his head.
“You won’t.”
“I hope not.”
“You won’t …”
“Noah …”
“I’m not going to let you screw this up, Emma,” he said, putting his hands on the side of my face, staring me in the eyes intently. “Let it be me to take all of that shit away. Just stop worrying. You don’t have anything to worry about.”
“Let it be you?”
“Let it be me. We’re here for a week. Let’s relax, get to know one another better than we already do without any brothers or bandmates or parents or your cat that kept trying to get in bed with us the other night,” he said as I started to smile.
I think I could do that.
Chapter 26 – Paper Rings
Three days later, I found myself standing on the balcony from Noah’s bedroom, staring out at the ocean. I just had a T-shirt and panties on, so I had a blanket wrapped around me. I loved waking up and seeing the beach right outside the window. I loved smelling the ocean air. I had never really thought about living on the beach, but there was something about it that was so different than the city.
The past few days had been amazing. Noah and I just chilled at his place, watching movies, swimming in the ocean, and baking. We had made cupcakes and cookies and believe it or not, Noah was an amazing cook. That is one thing you don’t read about in magazines or get asked about in interviews. Its something that I never would have thought about Noah.
We did end up going out to dinner last night at some small Italian place not far from his condo. It was just refreshing to be normal with him. No one was telling him he had to be somewhere in five minutes or someone asking for an autograph.
We came home last night after dinner and I made a bubble bath to relax before Noah joined in and things got dirty in the tub and it was amazing. It’s weird, but it’s not just sex with him. It’s this connection that we both feel and it’s different than anything I have ever experienced before.
And it makes me wonder where this is going.
I’ve done what Noah asked, trusting him, trying to just let things go the way they go, but I just wonder where that is. I guess that’s part of my problem. I always try to think of the end result. What would the end result be with Noah and I? Marriage? Would it go that far?
And there I was again, worrying and thinking.
“Hey, watcha doing out there?” I heard Noah ask as I looked back to see him walking up to me, wrapping his arms around me from behind. “You were still in bed asleep.”
“Where’d you go?”
“Went down to grab some orange juice. I was thirsty,” he said as I turned around to look at him. “What do you want to do today?” I shrugged and smiled. “Want to just stay in?”
I smiled, putting my hands on his chest, pushing him back into the bedroom and smiled. “No,” I finally said as I reached down, pulling the T-shirt over my head, leaving me in just my panties. “I have an idea of what I want to do today.”
“What’s that?” he asked as I reached down, pulling his boxer briefs down, causing him to chuckle.
“You.”
“Me?”
“You.”
I pushed him back on the bed, pulling the boxer briefs off completely and climbed on top of him, straddling his waist. I leaned down, kissing his lips roughly, shifting on top of him. For some reason, I was feeling frisky, kind of like the old Emma, but with the new Emma if that made any sense.
I started kissing down his body, flicking his nipples with my tongue and he was already squirming at that. But I was about to do something to him that I hadn’t done with him before. My kisses moved past his belly button and I reached down to touch him, feeling that he was already turned on.
“Emma …”
“Hmmm?” I hummed knowing that if he was going crazy over this that his mind was about to be blown.
###
“Do you want to just order in?” Noah asked a few hours later as we laid in bed. We had been there all day, just being together over and over and it felt like I was in some weird dream. It was a dream I didn’t know if I wanted to wake up from.
“Might as well, because I don’t think either of us is going to go cook,” I said as I lifted my head from his chest and looked up at him. I was straddling his waist, laying down on top of him. “Can this just be an everyday thing? Us in bed like this? No interruptions. No obligations. Nothing but us together.”
“It could be like this most days,” Noah said softly as I smiled at him. “For the first time in a really long time, I don’t even want to think about work. I just like us together like this.”
“But you have work and I’ll have to work …”
“You don’t have to have work,” he said as I sighed. “I know you want to, but just find something that you really like. Make sure it is what you really want. Maybe you can do something where you work remotely, and you can still be with me. I want you to work, Emma, but … I want you with me, too.”
“I just don’t want to depend on you for anything …”
“Why not? You’d be giving up part of your life for me and if I quit right now, if the band broke up, we’d be set for life and our kids would be set for their life and hell, maybe even our grandkids,” Noah said as my breath got caught in my throat. He said kids and grandkids. He’d thought about it. “I want you with me. When we go back on tour, we can get our own bus.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want?” I asked, sitting up and looking down at him.
“I’m positive.”
“You’ve thought about kids?”
“Uh, is that something you don’t want?” he asked as I gave him a little smile. “I mean …”
“No, it is, but … I didn’t know if that’s where you were …”
“Yeah … I want that … not right this minute, but yeah … I do,” Noah said as he sat up, pressing me against him so that we were face to face. “I can see us in 10 or 15 years with a little girl or a little boy, or maybe both and we have a house with a huge backyard and a pool and a basketball court and maybe a playhouse for our little girl. I want that.”
“I think I want that, too.”
“You do?”
“I do.”
“Good, because I was scared you didn’t after all the stuff you’ve said about your past relationships and stuff …” he said, his voice trailing off as I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck tightly. “How about I’ll go order us some lunch and stuff…”
“I’ll go shower while you do that,” I said as I moved off him and watched him as he grabbed his boxer briefs and pulled them back on. I made my way to the bathroom, turning the huge walk-in shower on and looked in the mirror as I waited for the water to get to the right temperature.
I never looked at myself naked in the mirror all that often. I had lost more weight over the last few months, especially since my father died. I hadn’t been this size since I lost that weight in high school. Maybe I wasn’t the same girl I used to be that was self-conscious and didn’t think she was worthy of being loved and would screw up every relationship she was in.
Maybe I had changed.
###
After the shower, I put on a T-Shirt and pair of shorts before making my way downstairs slowly and paused hearing Noah talking to someone. I stopped on the stairs and sat down, wondering who he was talking to because he wasn’t ordering food.
Yeah, it’s been great. We’re not even leaving the condo today. Yeah, I’m not telling you about that Dylan. I’m not stupid.
I sighed. He was talking to Dylan.
Yeah, when we come back, I … I want us to hang out some. Maybe we can go catch a baseball game or something. No particular reason. Just, since, you know, Emma and I got together, we haven’t really gotten the chance to hang out. Hell, we didn’t get to on the tour this past time either.
I smiled. Noah did mention the night before that he felt like he hadn’t hung out with Dylan much lately. I was partly to blame for that.
She’s good. She loves the beach. Yeah, I’ve cooked for her. We made cookies and cupcakes. I took her out to eat last night. Yeah, we’ll be back in a few days. Our flight is for Sunday so we should get there around six or seven, I think. You don’t have to leave because I’ll be there, Dylan. At least stay with your Grandma. If you leave she’s going to think you’re upset about us.
I sighed.
I know you’re not and you know how much I love her. Yeah. Even more. Which is why I want us to hang out some. Yeah, I’ll call you back later. Bye.
I sat there, not really wanting to move, but I froze seeing Noah walk around the staircase and he paused, seeing me sitting there.
“Dylan wants to leave when we go back?” I asked as he sighed.
“He said he just wants to give us time together, but said he’d stay at your Grandmother’s house,” Noah said, giving me a look. “How much did you hear?”
“Just the very end where you told him I’d get upset if he left,” I snapped back, knowing I wasn’t telling the entire truth. But I didn’t want him to know I heard everything. “That’s it.”
“I ordered Chinese,” he said, giving me a look. “I’m gonna go shower.”
“I’ll wait for the food,” I said, giving him a little smile and watched as he walked past me, heading back upstairs.
I stood up, making my way to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. Why did he even ask what I heard? I opened the water, taking a sip and then immediately spit it back out in shock.
We had just been talking about the future. Now he wanted to hang out with Dylan, alone.
What the hell was Noah going to do?
Chapter 27 – Enchanted
The days in California felt like a dream, so when I walked into my apartment, dragging my luggage behind me, I felt like I was back in hell. Then again, it looked like hell. My apartment was a mess. I always thought of Dylan as a clean freak, or at least that is what I was led to believe in the teenybopper magazines.
Instead I had T-shirts and boxers all over my living room, shoes and shocks were all over the floor and he left an empty bag of chips on my floor.
“Dylan?!” I called out, seeing him walk out of my room with a towel around his waist. “Whoa, go get dressed.”
“I’m covered up,” he said, walking over to give me a quick hug. I was hugging a naked Dylan Reynolds. Jesus Christ. “Where’s Noah?”
“He went to his parents … hm, so my apartment looks like a tornado came through,” I said as he made a face. “I mean …”
“I’m cleaning up,” he chuckled. “I overslept. I was out late with Michael last night.” Michael was a cousin on my father’s side of the family who I didn’t really care for. He had a drinking problem and constantly cheated on his wife. I should know. I found him in bed with my ex-best friend from high school.
“You hanging out with Michael a lot?” I asked as he shrugged. “He’s definitely not my favorite cousin.”
“Yeah, I can see why,” he chuckled, grabbing some of his things off the sofa. “So, you have fun in California? What did you think of Noah’s place?”
“I loved it,” I said, finally walking towards my bedroom with my bag. “I love his condo. I love the area it’s in and the fact that he has a private beach.” I saw Dylan walk up to the bedroom door and lean against it. “It was a nice getaway. I needed it.”
“So ya’ll are legit now,” he said as I shrugged and then nodded. “You know, I’m okay with it. It took me a bit, but he’s never taken a girl there before. Was talking with his Dad the other night and they’ve never seen him like this either. He’s happier lately. I like Noah when he’s happy.” I smiled at him, lifting my bag on my bed to unzip it. “I got us tickets to a Braves game tomorrow. Me, him, and his Dad.”
“He’ll love that,” I smiled. “I feel like he’s missed having Noah/Dylan time lately.”
Dylan said he did, too, and went to walk back to my guest room, shutting the door. I assumed he was getting dressed. I didn’t have any dirty laundry considering I washed it all in California, so I began putting things away. I could really use a nap, but I knew I needed to go see my Mom and then check on my Grandmother.
“Hey, I’m gonna start getting my things and head over to Grandma’s,” Dylan said as I turned to look at him. “What?”
“Noah’s staying at his parents tonight. Him and his Mom were going to go do something this afternoon,” I said as Dylan made a face. “I asked him to. I want us to hang out. I’ll cook dinner and we can have some brother and sister time. And don’t ask me if I’m sure, I’m sure.”
“Alright, sounds good to me,” Dylan smiled before leaving my doorway. I picked up my suitcase, zipping it up to put back in my closet and I sighed. My framed poster of the band was in there and I didn’t like it being shoved in the closet like that.
I grabbed the poster and walked out of my bedroom and into the kitchen, opening a drawer where I kept some tacks. I picked one up and walked into the living room, taking down a painting that I had bought of a cat in a ballerina outfit and hung the poster up next to my entertainment center.
“What are you doing?” Dylan asked, walking out of the guest room again and looked at what I did. “Where’d that come from?”
“Was in my bedroom and I took it down with Noah being here and staying because it felt weird, but I don’t want to hide it in the closet,” I said as Dylan smiled, crossing his arms over his chest. “I love this photo.”
“I think Noah was like 22 here,” Dylan sighed. “That was such a long day. We had photoshoots all day long, from like 8 that morning until midnight. Noah was getting so damn whiny towards the end of the night.”
“This is probably my favorite group shot,” I said as I looked over at Dylan. “One day you’re going to have to take me to that place where you have all the band stuff so that I can fangirl.”
“It’s in Nashville,” he said, chuckling a little. “We can take a trip up and I can introduce you to my Mom and you can take whatever you want.” I just glared at him. “What?”
“Take whatever I want?” I asked as he laughed, walking towards the kitchen. “Dylan, you can’t give me that power. I’m still a fan, remember?”
“I have doubles or triples of everything, and it’s nothing like the awards or anything, except my Mom has my Grammy Awards,” he said and I sighed, still not liking that power. I would take everything and then my apartment would be full of nothing but group stuff.
###
After cooking lasagna for dinner, Dylan and I sat around for a while just talking before we decided to watch a movie – “Weekend at Bernie’s.” It was one of my favorites and Dylan’s, too. That’s one reason why he was my favorite member of the band. There weren’t that many people who would admit that “Weekend at Bernie’s” was their favorite movie and Dylan had no shame.
Plus, I had a crush on Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman both.
“Can I ask you something?” Dylan asked as I nodded yes, staring at the television. “Do you think your Dad would have liked me?” I was taken aback by the question and I looked at him. “Like, you know, if he knew me.”
“I think so, yes,” I said as he nodded, looking back at the television. “He was weird … and there’s still a lot I don’t understand. He wanted a son, but yet, he had a son, you know? He and I never did a lot together, but he did take me to concerts because he knew they made me happy.”
“Grandma says he wasn’t a very good father because he didn’t have a father and didn’t know how to be one,” he said as I nodded slowly. “Makes me wonder about me, you know? When I have kids, will I be a good father?”
