Dane, p.10
Dane, page 10
My dad told me when I was younger there’s a time in every man’s life when he comes to a decision that will change his future forever. It can be scary, but no matter what, you should always go with your first instinct. This feels like one of those moments. So, I do exactly that.
“I think I already do.”
15
SUMMER
Ithink I already do.
My heart is pounding so hard in my chest it might crack a rib. I know I heard him correctly. He thinks he loves me? Is that possible even though we just started spending time together again? I want to ask him a million questions, but I don’t want to ruin this moment. It’s intimate, and his promises make me think everything is going to be okay.
As much as I struggle with what to do about my mom, his reassuring words make me feel a lot better. I’ve been letting the guilt and doubt eat me alive, and I haven’t been moving forward to get my mom the care she needs. It’s as if I’ve been living in denial this whole time.
He gives me a gentle squeeze. “It’s time to shut your mind down on all these heavy thoughts for tonight. This time is meant for you to slip into your Little headspace, and it’s our time to spend together. We’ll talk more about this tomorrow and come up with a plan together.”
Together.
He says it like we’re a couple. Like we’re a team. I like it. I want it so badly. Even though we’ve been apart all this time, I know I love Dane. I’ve been in love with him since I was sixteen, and I think those feelings have only deepened since. I don’t know why he thinks I deserve someone more than him. There is no one better than this man. And I’m going to show him that.
“Okay, Daddy.”
We sit in silence for a few minutes before he lifts me off his lap and turns us so I’m closest to the bed. Almost as though we do this every night, he holds my hand while I lower myself onto the mattress so he can change me.
“Want a nightie again tonight?”
I nod and nibble on the tip of my thumb. He notices and reaches over to the nightstand, then pulls out the pacifier he gave me last night. After he tugs my hand away from my mouth, he holds the paci to my lips and slides it in.
My entire body relaxes into the soft bedding while I watch him move around the room collecting supplies, checking that the window is locked, and turning down the lights. When he’s done, he sets everything down and gets to work removing my clothes. He’s going to see how wet my panties are again, but I can’t help it. I respond to him no matter what.
This time, he doesn’t mention how soaked I am, but I don’t miss the look in his eyes when he pushes my knees apart and stares down at my pussy. My gaze falls to his crotch and the bulge that’s growing there. I squirm and reach for it, but he pins me with a stern look.
“No, baby. Tonight isn’t about that. Ignore it. I can’t seem to control myself around you, but it’ll settle down in a second. I need to think about Jaxon naked or something.”
I burst out giggling, the pacifier falling from my lips. “Ew. That’s gross, Daddy. I mean, Jaxon is hot, but…”
He raises his eyebrows and glares at me. “Oh, you think he’s hot, huh?”
Whoops. I probably should have kept that little piece of information to myself. It’s true, though. All of Dane’s friends are hot, actually. I won’t say that out loud.
“Well, um, he’s um—”
“Relax, baby. I’m teasing. You’re allowed to look at other men. But if you flirt with them, I’ll have to paddle your ass.”
I squirm again. I would never flirt with another man, but I think I wouldn’t mind being paddled by my Daddy. Especially if he comforts me afterward. I won’t admit that, though.
“Does that mean I get to paddle your ass if you flirt with another woman?”
He leans over me, his hips between my spread knees. “First of all, no swearing. Second, I’m the only one who will be doing the spanking around here. And finally, I will never flirt with another woman. I respect you too much, and there’s no other woman I want.”
Damn. Well, okay then. I’m gone for. This man has my whole heart. I hope he doesn’t break it.
“Okay,” I whisper.
He kisses me slowly, his tongue pressing into my mouth, exploring for several minutes before he pulls away. I love how he tastes. Does he taste that good down there? I bet even better. My mouth waters. I know he said tonight isn’t about sex, but I want to taste him so badly. It’s like a craving that won’t go away until it’s satisfied. Somehow, though, I know he isn’t going to change his mind. Dane might have his gentle side, but I’m learning he also won’t budge once he’s made a decision. Especially if it has to do with my care.
The way he wouldn’t let me do the dishes earlier was so sweet and I’m pretty sure if my mom hadn’t been in the kitchen, he would have scolded me for arguing.
It only takes a few minutes before he has me wrapped up in a thick diaper and a nightie, making me feel so small and innocent. Last night, I felt more embarrassment, but tonight, it’s more natural between us. Like this is exactly what we’re supposed to be doing.
“Come here,” he says as he holds out his hands for me.
When I sit up, he lifts me, settling me on his hip. I cling to him and wrap my arms around his neck.
“You don’t have to carry me. I can walk. I’m too heavy.”
He stops in the middle of the room and stares at me with a hard gaze. “Did you just insult yourself?”
My eyes widen and I shake my head. “No, but I’m not skinny, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
His jaw flexes, and he continues into the bathroom, then sets me on the counter. He rests his hands on each side of me, blocking me in as he moves his face only inches from mine.
“If I ever hear you call yourself heavy again, I’ll put soap in your mouth and spank your bottom. Your body is my obsession. I love every curve of you. I want to follow every dip and valley with my tongue. You’re beautiful and perfect, and I will never allow you to insult yourself. That’s a rule. Are we clear on that?”
A shiver runs through me. “You really think I’m beautiful?”
His nostrils flare as he steps back and grabs one of my hands to press it to his cock. “I haven’t stopped being hard since I got here tonight. I fantasize about you. You’re lush and soft, and I wouldn’t change a single thing about you. I’ve always loved your body. And everything that’s on the inside makes it even more beautiful. So no more saying negative things. I don’t like it, and I won’t put up with it. I love carrying you, and you’re not too heavy. You’re perfect for me.”
Okay, when did this man become so swoony? I mean, Dane has never been the smooth talker that his brother is, but dang, I think I just came a little.
When I nod, he gives me a swift kiss before he pulls out my toothbrush and toothpaste, and brushes my teeth for me like he did last night. We stare at each other the entire time, and it feels so intimate.
After he’s done, he carries me to my bed and tucks me under the covers. I don’t want him to leave. Even though I slept well last night, I hated that he had to go.
“Will you stay with me?”
He stares at me for a long time before he sighs. “I don’t want to do anything that will confuse or upset your mom.”
My shoulders drop, and I nod. He’s right. He’s trying to do the right thing, and I love him so much more because of that.
“I guess I could set an alarm so I can slip out before she wakes up,” he says.
A smile spreads so wide on my face that my cheeks ache, but I don’t care. Sleeping in Dane’s arms is a dream come true, even if he’ll be gone when I wake up.
“Are you sure? You have to get enough sleep too. You work tomorrow.”
Even though I give him the out, I hope he doesn’t take it. I would understand if he does, but I’d still be sad.
He shakes his head. “I want to stay with you. I’ll be okay. I’ll set my alarm for five and go home and sleep for a couple more hours before I have to start my day.”
I wiggle happily in bed. He laughs and shakes his head. Then he starts pulling off his shirt, and every thought disappears as I watch with complete fascination. He’s filled out a bit since we were younger. He has more chest hair, and his pecs, shoulders, and arms are broader and more muscular. But damn, he still has the V thing going on, and I want to trail my tongue down it. I don’t know why simple lines make women turn so rabid. They’re just indents, but it’s like it’s a neon flashing light directing me right to where the gold is.
“My eyes are up here,” he teases.
I flick my gaze up to his and grin. “You’re still so hot.”
He seems surprised but doesn’t say anything as he undoes his belt and jeans. The clink of the belt buckle causes a shiver to run down my spine. Another thing I’ll never understand. Why does that simple noise make me react like that? It’s hot. I don’t have time to think too deeply about it because the next thing I know, he’s tugging down his pants, revealing his tight boxer briefs.
Holy fuck. I’ve always thought Dane was hot, but seeing him without his clothes, he’s gorgeous. In a real way. He’s not the kind of man you’d see on a magazine cover. He’s not perfect or chiseled like stone. He’s real and flawed and sexy as hell. His hands are permanently stained slightly darker from all the years spent under the hood of a car. They’re calloused and rough, but I love the feel of them when he touches me. I don’t know how he could ever think I deserve better than him, but he’s obviously delusional.
“Quit eye fucking me, Little one. I’m hanging on by a thread as it is. We’ll have plenty of time for sexy times later. For tonight, it’s snuggle and story time.”
I let out a small whine. He raises an eyebrow in warning, so I quickly nod and push the covers back for him to climb into bed with me.
“Good girl.” He slides in next to me and pulls me into his arms.
His chest is warm and feels like home. I could spend forever right here with him and never get tired of it. He reaches out and grabs the pacifier I spit out earlier, then brings it to my mouth. When I start suckling, he lets go and picks up one of the picture books he left on my nightstand.
“Ready for story time?”
“Yes,” I mumble around the nipple.
He kisses the top of my head and opens the book with one hand while he wraps his free arm around me.
We only get a few pages in before my eyes start feeling heavy. I’ve never felt so comfortable or calm in my entire life. This is exactly where I’m meant to be. And that’s when my decision to move home is made. I belong here. With him. As his Little girl. Where I can stay close to my mom. I hope he doesn’t get tired of how much time I spend taking care of her.
16
DANE
When my alarm goes off, she doesn’t budge. She’s sprawled over me with her pacifier still lodged in her mouth and the small bear I gave her tucked in the crook of her arm. My chest aches at the thought of prying her off me and sliding out of bed. I can picture us sleeping like this every night for the rest of my life. When I’ve dated other women, that thought would cause me to break out in a cold sweat, but with Summer, I can’t imagine it any other way.
Slowly, I peel her off me and smile as she makes small whimpering noises. She sleeps through the entire thing, and when I lean over and press a kiss to her forehead, she lets out a deep sigh. Then she rolls over onto her tummy and wiggles deeper under the covers. She’s freaking adorable.
It's still dark out as I cross our driveways and go into my house. It’s early, and I should go back to sleep, but instead, I sit on the couch with a cup of coffee and my laptop and start researching.
By the time I need to get ready for work, I’m loaded up with information and optimistic. I hope my baby girl won’t mind me stepping in. The only thing I want to do is help her and take away the extra stress she’s dealing with. I also want what’s best for her mom. We might not be official, but in my mind, Summer is mine, and that’s forever. She won’t have to deal with any of this alone.
Austin is already at the shop when I get there. Based on how much he’s cursing and banging shit around, I guess he’s in no mood to talk. I give him a brief greeting, to which I get a grunt in return. Part of me wants to ask, but talking about our feelings isn’t our favorite thing to do. Especially this early in the morning.
Before I get started for the day, I send my sister a text.
Dane: How’s my favorite baby sister?
Greer: I’m your only sister. What do you want?
Dane: Such attitude. I don’t want anything. Just texting to check on you. Can you meet me for lunch today?
Greer: Are you going to go all overly-protective-brother-mode on me?
Dane: Probably. Meet me at the diner at noon.
Greer: You know the polite thing to do would be to ask.
Dane: I did ask. You gave me a sassy answer. So now I’m telling. See you then.
Greer: You’re annoying. See you then.
Greer is waiting for me outside the diner when I arrive. She might be annoyed with me, but she breaks out into a wide smile and lets me wrap her up in a hug.
“It’s been too long.”
She looks up at me and rolls her eyes. “We saw each other two days ago.”
“Why are you always such a sassy brat? I know it’s only been two days. I meant it’s been too long since we had lunch together.”
Her response is to stick her tongue out at me. Maybe I need to talk to Austin about giving her some discipline. He might deny he has feelings for her, but I’m not blind. We’ve been friends since grade school. I know when he likes a girl. And they’ve known each other for so long, I’m kind of surprised they aren’t a couple.
Once we’re seated, the server greets us and takes our order. The menu has been the same all our lives, so we don’t have to look at it to know what we want. I always get a bacon cheeseburger, and Greer always gets chicken strips with extra ranch on the side. I swear, I think she eats more ranch than chicken.
“So, how’s it going with Summer? She hasn’t had time to talk the past few days. When I ask her what’s going on, she tells me she’ll explain everything on our next girls’ day.”
I smile at the mention of my girl. “Then I guess you’ll have to wait until you guys hang out next.”
Greer huffs and shakes her head. “And you think I’m sassy.”
“Hush. I don’t want to share more than what she’s ready to. I’m going to let her tell you what she wants you to know. In the meantime, just know I’m trying to help take some stress off her shoulders.”
“Her mom is doing pretty bad, huh?” Greer asks.
“Yeah. Her illness has been progressing rapidly.”
Her shoulders drop, and she looks as though she might cry. “Summer hasn’t told me much. I didn’t know that.”
It doesn’t surprise me that she hasn’t told her friends. She always puts everyone else’s needs before her own. That will stop going forward.
“I’m sure she didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to burden you or make you worry. But now that I know what’s going on, I need you and the other girls to help out now and then. Summer has been taking care of her mom day and night and she’s getting worn down. She needs a break sometimes, but she doesn’t like to leave her mom alone for long.”
Greer nods. “Of course. I’ll help however I can. So will the other girls. We want to help; we just don’t know how.”
“Thank you. I’ll let you know when I need something.”
Our meals come, and I watch in disgust as my sister uses her chicken tender to scoop up some ranch. Not dip, but actually scoop. Good God, I should have known she was a Little all along. I don’t know how Nash and I didn’t figure it out sooner.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were struggling again?” I ask after a few minutes.
She lowers her eyes and sighs. “I didn’t want to burden you. I know how exhausting it was for you and Nash dealing with me after my divorce.”
I rub my temple, angry with myself for not checking in on her more. What the hell is it with these Little girls not wanting to burden anyone? Don’t they know the people in their lives who love them want to be there to help? To hold their hand when they need it? To be a shoulder to cry on? Or to take the load and handle it when it becomes too much?
“Look at me.”
She slowly lifts her gaze to mine. Her eyes are watery, and I feel bad for bringing this up in a restaurant instead of in a more private setting. But I didn’t want to wait.
“Sweetheart, you’re never a burden in our lives. Nash and I love you so fucking much it hurts. We weren’t exhausted after your divorce, we were worried. You started cutting again, and it scared the hell out of us. You’re our baby sister, and all we want is for you to be happy and healthy. And if you’re struggling, we want to know about it. I know we’re overbearing and nosy and bossy, but it’s only because we care so much.”
“I know. I’m sorry, Dane. I thought I was handling it okay, but I started having panic attacks. They came out of nowhere, and Austin happened to find me while I was in the middle of one. He was so mad at me when I asked him not to tell you.”
The corner of my mouth twitches. I can imagine the scolding he gave her over it. When Austin is unhappy, you know about it.
“I’ve been doing a lot better, though. He made me start going back to therapy, and it’s helping. I’m back on medication too. I didn’t hurt myself this time. I never even thought it.”
