Blurred lines by kd will.., p.6
Blurred Lines by KD Williamson, page 6
“Ooooh,” Sean muttered. “Shit just got real.”
Travis’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t remember. I’ve been hanging out with Italians the past couple of years watching GoodFellas and eating spaghetti every fucking weekend.”
Sean snickered.
“That didn’t keep you from eating my mom’s cannoli.”
A nurse entered the room and glared at Kelli as she moved past her wheelchair.
Travis and Sean looked at each other, breaking into laughter all over again. The nurse silently checked his IV and left.
“In effigy.” Travis said it in this low creepy voice.
“Yeah, yeah. I just hate this fucking place. It doesn’t feel right being here. I don’t have my gun, my badge. I’m not doing anybody any good.” Just like that, Kelli stepped from behind the humor and subterfuge because, with these two, she was safe enough to do so.
“So, misery really does love company?” Travis asked. “These are some really nice people, Kelli.”
She felt suitably admonished. He was right. “I know,” Kelli mumbled. She knew she could be an asshole, and she accepted it, but Kelli had to admit that she’d gotten a little out of control.
Travis tilted his head toward her. “What was that?”
“You heard me.”
Sean leaned forward in his chair and shook his head, smiling. “I swear to God, you have some kind of super power to get this one to back down or admit anything.” Sean snapped his fingers. “What do they call those guys who can calm down horses and shit?”
“I’m not a damn horse.” Kelli growled.
“Whisperers?” Travis asked.
“Yeah.” Sean nodded. “Whisperers. That’s it.”
Travis made a face. “Oh hell no. She needs to find a woman to do that.”
Two more nurses filed into the room. “Time to take a ride, Mr. Travis.”
Travis nodded, and they watched silently as the nurses readied his bed for transport.
Out of concern, Kelli asked, “Where are you taking him?”
Neither nurse answered her.
Kelli sighed.
Travis chuckled. “I’m guessing radiology.” He waved. “Later, guys.”
Kelli waited for Sean to get behind her. She looked up at him and saw something shadowed in his eyes. The weird feeling in her belly returned—dread. Kelli had to admit that it had never left. It whispered to her and told her to pay attention to the little things going on around her. “He’s okay, right? I know it was serious, and they have to monitor his injury.”
Sean held her gaze for a few seconds before he turned his attention to the brake on the wheelchair. “He’ll be fine.”
Kelli continued to stare at her brother. That didn’t really answer the question, but she didn’t press. Maybe deep down, she wasn’t ready for the actual answers anyway. This was dangerously close to running from the truth, from fucked-up reality, but Kelli did it anyway. Running made her feel weak and alone, even though there was life, love all round her.
* * *
Kelli flipped through the channels on the television, but found nothing that interested her. She dropped the remote. It hung from the cable that attached it to the bed frame and banged uselessly against the side of the bed. There had to be something to keep her occupied. She didn’t want to think. She didn’t want to feel, and anxiety shifted just under skin, leaving her uncomfortable and twitchy. Kelli was made up of rough, jagged pieces. In the past, they had cut into others, but oftentimes, they pierced her even more. There were no dark secrets or hidden monsters that could explain it all away. This was how she worked best. This was who she was. Kelli delved deep to get into a murderer’s mind. Sometimes touched the shadows and kept a little for herself. The subject of her own mortality and forced immobility had become triggers of sorts, and her emotions churned inside her, growing darker by the day.
Kelli stared at the crutches leaning against the foot of her bed. She wanted to ignore the pain in her torso and use those evil pieces of metal to get moving again, even if it was only throughout the hospital. She’d tried, but it hurt too fucking much. The crutches sat there, taunting her with the possibility of getting away from the images of violence, brutality, and blood that came to her every time she closed her eyes. It made total sense that she couldn’t sleep. Kelli didn’t like asking for a sedative, but the medicine was the only thing that helped her rest and kept her from dreaming.
Kelli felt like she was in some kind of alternate universe where everything looked shiny and normal, but underneath something brewed. Absolutely nothing seemed right. She had great instincts, and they were screaming for her ass to pay attention. It was her own fault. She hadn’t been asking the right questions about Travis and Tony. She avoided when he should have confronted, but shit, she could only deal with so much.
“How are we doing this afternoon, Ms. McCabe?”
The sudden sound of Dr. Rader’s voice startled her. She hid it well. ”Same as I was yesterday.”
Dr. Rader closed the door and stepped farther into the room. Kelli glanced at him as he flipped through her chart. He was pleasant enough, but it felt as though he was trying too hard. He was phony, and that made her uneasy. Rader was pretty much a shell with a TV doctor poured into it, which was the complete opposite of Nora. Something simmered inside Nora, hiding behind those incredible eyes. That something challenged Kelli at times and irked her during others. Nora was unique. She smirked at the thought. There was only one Dr. Whitmore.
“You tried the crutches?” He didn’t look at her as he asked the question.
“I did. Hurt like fuck or did you forget I have a chest injury?”
Dr. Rader chuckled. “I did not, but you’re healing nicely. The crutches are a motivator of sorts. I think it’s time for some physical therapy so we can start discussing plans to get you out of here.”
Kelli’s heart thudded. “Seriously? Now you’re talking. I figure I’ll be as good as new in a few days—”
“No, not that soon. Someone with your type of wounds is usually incapacitated for well past a month. We’ll be over the three-week mark when I re-evaluate you for possible discharge, which is remarkable. Not to mention, you’ve had no complications. Even then, you won’t be ready for anything except desk duty.”
Kelli deflated. Another week and a half. The churning in her stomach drowned out the rest of his words. The only thing she could do was nod.
Williams poked his head in. “Do I need to come back in a few minutes?”
The idea of company actually perked Kelli up a few degrees.
“No, if she’s okay with it, I am too.” Dr. Rader smiled and glanced from Kelli to Williams, who was still waiting at the door.
Kelli rolled her eyes and motioned him in.
“I’m just going to check her injuries and then be out of your hair.”
Williams stopped and turned around as the doctor lifted Kelli’s shirt. “My tits don’t bite, Williams.”
“Yeah, well I still don’t want to see them.”
Kelli chuckled. The doctor pressed around the wound. She sucked in a pained breath.
“Good. Tenderness is decreasing. By the way, I love your pajamas. I’m a huge Seahawks fan myself.” He grinned, and Kelli was surprised his teeth didn’t sparkle.
Kelli didn’t believe him. Why the hell would anyone lie about the Seahawks? She rolled her eyes. “Uh-huh.” She glanced at Williams only to see his back was still turned.
“Now, let’s check the leg.” Dr. Rader did more of the same, pressing around the wound. “I’ll send PT to get you in about an hour, and tomorrow they are going to start a daily regimen with you.”
Nodding, Kelli rolled her shorts back down and covered herself with the thin sheet.
“Okay,” Dr. Rader patted her on the knee. “All done here.” He winked. “You can turn around now. Your friend is decent.”
The comment annoyed Kelli, but right now, just about everything did.
Williams snorted but said nothing else as he moved to the chair beside Kelli’s bed. They stared at each other.
He tilted his head to the side and continued to look at her. “Anything else from the past you want to bring up while I’m comfortable?”
Kelli sighed. “Probably not.”
“You sure?” He looked skeptical.
“Yes, dammit.”
“Your mom needed a shoulder. Things got out of hand. I’m not holding some type of torch for her, but you know all of this. It’s not your business now, just like it wasn’t your business then, despite your reaction to it. Nobody meant for you to walk in on it.”
Kelli’s mumbled. “I know that.” At least everything she saw was above the waist.
Williams slapped a hand on his knee. “We’re good? No more bullshit?”
She glared at him. “We’ll see.”
He chuckled. “So, ready to come out of your skin yet?”
Kelli’s shoulders sagged with relief. It felt good to think someone knew exactly how she felt. “A little bit, yeah.”
“Must piss you off that things still hurt.”
Kelli blinked and waited for him to continue. There was more. With him, there always was.
“I may not have been injured on the job, but I was in the armed forces, Kelli. Remember?”
“Forgot you were old as fuck. You don’t really look it,” Kelli said.
“Thanks, I think.”
“You’re welcome.”
For several seconds, Williams was silent. He watched her and waited. Kelli felt herself squirming under his scrutiny once more. “Will you stop that? Just say what you have to say.”
“Okay.” He held up his hands in a placating gesture. “Nightmares start yet?”
Kelli sucked in a breath. She didn’t need this right now especially when her emotions were so raw. Damn his fucking eyes.
“I guess that’s my answer.”
“Williams,” she said his name as a warning.
Again, he held up a hand. “I’m not going to press you on this. Just know that it doesn’t go away by itself, Kelli.”
This conversation needed to be over. Tension coiled through her and made her muscles clench. She could handle the pain. It centered her. “I’m not doing this.”
“I’m not asking you to, but it’s happening. That’s all I’m saying on the subject.” Williams paused. “How’s everything else?”
Kelli shook her head. “I don’t know. I’m missing something, and it’s right in front of me. I…I don’t want to talk about that either.”
Williams gazed at her. “Travis seems fine to me.”
“Yeah, I guess. It’s not just him—” Kelli looked away.
He cut her off. “Kelli—”
“Dammit, Williams. Stop pushing me.”
He raised his hands for a third time. “All right, I wasn’t trying to.” Williams stood.
Kelli didn’t want him to leave, but she didn’t want him to stay either. Not if it meant he was going to stay on this topic.
“You need anything?” he asked.
Kelli ground her teeth at the reminder that she was still pretty much useless. “No.” It was strange how he could know her so well one minute, and the next it was something completely different.
Williams sighed. “I’ll go visit the kid, then. I’ll try not to wear out my welcome so quickly next time.”
Their gazes met. Kelli nodded and watched him go.
* * *
Nora peered at the white board behind the trauma desk. There had to be something interesting to fill her time. She ignored the large contingent of residents and pressed her way forward. They seemed mostly oblivious to her anyway. She caught bits and pieces of conversation. Some were louder than others.
“I like Mistress of Kink. It has pizazz.”
Gossip was a childish activity, and she was not surprised that Dr. Fuller was involved in it.
“Shhh!”
“Please, she has a one-track mind. She’s not paying attention to us.” Taylor didn’t even bother to lower her voice.
“Threesomes are not all that kinky unless you bring out the whips and chains.”
“I’m sure she does that too. Never thought she would be the clingy type, though. Rader wants nothing to do with her, and she’s still hanging on. It’s pathetic.” Dr. Fuller sounded almost gleeful.
Nora straightened her shoulders. She held no illusions about who they were talking about. The new rumors were trite, not very inventive, and an obvious attempt for Rader to save face. He had a reputation to uphold, and thanks to him, so did she. She refused to let her anger and irritation show. Nora was better than this, but there were times when she didn’t want to be.
“Dr. Fuller?” Nora interrupted.
“Taylor, I told you she heard you!” Dr. Crowder whispered harshly.
“I can hear you as well, Dr. Crowder,” Nora said with authority. “Since neither of you have anything more productive to do—”
“Oh, I’m on Rader’s service.” Dr. Fuller pointed at the board.
Nora’s lips twitched. “I’m sure you are.”
Taylor reddened and glanced away.
Nora felt emboldened by Dr. Fuller’s reaction. Taylor responded as the immature girl that she was. While, as a woman in her stride, Nora met it head on. She stepped away from the desk. “Follow me…both of you.”
Walking through the hall, Nora slowed as they neared the free clinic. The angry hushed murmurs coming from behind let her know that this was the right decision. She turned and nearly bumped into them. “You will spend your day lancing boils, removing foreign objects from patients, and adhering band aids, since a surgical rotation isn’t challenging enough for you.”
Taylor’s blue eyes widened. “It is. There must be some kind of mis—”
“If it were, you would have time for nothing else.” Nora smiled politely. “Have a productive day,” she said as she strolled away.
Nora had many dissenters for one reason or another. They wanted her small and cowed, but she had hardened herself against such attacks. No cracks remained for anything to seep through. So, what she did to Dr. Fuller wasn’t retribution. It was a calculated move. Nora peered down at her watch and almost smiled. She had a Whipple procedure to remove lesions from a patient’s pancreas and small intestines scheduled to start in an hour.
* * *
A pleasant weariness settled on Nora’s shoulders. The Whipple was a success, and at this point, the patient needed continuous monitoring for any complications. She checked charts. Then, she did her final rounds to check the residents’ work and see to the welfare of their patients before retiring for the night.
Nora neared Kelli’s room. There was really no reason for her to go inside. She was healing without complications or setbacks, but still, Nora stopped just outside the entrance. Curiosity got the better of her, but she knew it went deeper. The conversations, the sparring they’d engaged in had been her most genuine interactions in a very long time. After her confrontation with the residents earlier, Nora knew that this association, however brief, would be like cleansing her palate of all pretense.
She stepped inside. Light flickered from the muted television, illuminating the room every few seconds and highlighting the empty bed. Nora stared at the rumpled sheets, confused. Kelli was essentially immobile. Nora scanned the room. Her gaze stopped at the light shining from underneath the closed bathroom door. She moved toward it, hearing the unmistakable sound of a running shower.
A muffled, metallic crash came from the bathroom. Alarmed, Nora called out. “Ms. McCabe?”
A loud groan was her answer.
Based on that alone, Nora made her decision. “Ms. McCabe, I’m coming in.”
Nora did not hesitate as she entered the bathroom. She expected billowing steam. She expected…she did not expect this. Kelli leaned against the wall of the tiny shower with a metal crutches at her feet.
Kelli’s hair was plastered to her head, and her eyes were wide open and wild with pain. Her face was pale except the blotchy red patches on her cheeks and the blue tint of her lips. Her whole body trembled. Kelli was soaked and the Seahawks pajamas clung to her.
Nora was shaken to find Kelli like this, and she schooled her features to her habitual calm so Kelli wouldn’t detect her alarm. Her heart thudded against her chest, but she ignored it. She stepped forward, and Kelli, fraught with visible tension, shriveled back even further. Nora was not a master of social cues and interaction, but through the years, she’d learned to recognize fear and anxiety when she saw it. Now, was not the time to be formal. “Kelli.”
Kelli’s gaze finally met hers. Nora held up a hand. “I would like to make the water warmer.”
Kelli gave a jerky nod of her head. She watched Nora’s every move. Nora turned the knob and held her fingers under the spray until it increased to a desirable temperature. Then, she moved back to a safer distance.
She glanced down at Kelli’s feet. “You lost your crutches. Would you like me to get them for you so you can get back to bed?” Nora spoke with a slow, measured tone. Despite Kelli’s obvious pain, Nora wanted to give her a chance to assert some autonomy before she offered additional help.
“Can’t. Hurts.” Kelli licked her lips. “I…just wanted it to stop.”
Nora instinctively knew that “it” had nothing to do with physical pain, but she still had no idea what ‘it’ was. That, however, was not the point. “Did it?” She asked softly.
Kelli shook her head vehemently and croaked, “No.”
A pang of sympathy reverberated through Nora. It was an odd, peculiar feeling, and very much a shock to her system. She felt lightheaded, breathless, but continued to defy the emotions bombarding her. “Would you like something to help you sleep?”
Kelli looked away. She seemed ashamed. “I guess…I need to.”
“I’ll call a nurse—”
“No! They—”
“No nurse.” Nora interrupted, seeing the distress.
“You get it,” Kelli pleaded.
Nora swallowed as she held Kelli’s gaze. Something passed between them. A moment of trust that she hadn’t really earned, but it was there nonetheless. “If I bring a wheelchair, will you allow me to help you to get cleaned up and back to bed?”
