Beautiful, p.26
Beautiful, page 26
Forcing myself to keep smiling, I asked, “Hungry?”
Wyatt flashed me an evil smile. “Plan on working up an appetite.”
Skylar hit him in the stomach. “Stop that, Wyatt.”
Making a gagging noise, I covered my mouth. “Gross. I didn’t need that visual.”
Skylar set her bags down on the kitchen counter and glanced around the room. “Where did Zeb go?”
“He left.”
She lifted her brow. “Why?”
I didn’t want to tell Skylar I had asked Zeb to leave after freaking out on him. What had started out as innocent kissing quickly led to us in my bedroom with Zeb’s hand in my panties. Then, my panties had come off, and my body had trembled with one of the most intense orgasms I’d ever experienced. I could still hear the echoes of my moans bouncing around in my head, reminding me that I’d let another man touch me so intimately and realizing how much I’d enjoyed it.
Oh God, I feel sick.
“Michelle? Is everything okay? Did something happen?”
Jerking my head back in surprise, I practically shouted, “Why would you think something happened?”
Skylar seemed shocked by my reaction. Honestly, I was shocked by it.
“I don’t know. You seem…lost in thought. Like something might have happened.”
I shrugged while I tried to play it off. “I told him I really needed to get some work done.”
Wyatt wasn’t buying it. “I thought you’d mentioned going out to dinner with him.”
“I totally forgot about a project I have to do. He offered to help, but I told him to go to the gym instead.”
Lies.
I couldn’t tell them what had really happened. That, after my orgasm, I’d broken down, crying, and told Zeb about Mitch. The cheating. How he was the only guy I’d ever been with. Zeb had been a gentleman and held me while I cried. Then, the guilt had set in, and I’d flipped out and demanded that Zeb leave. I was positive I’d made him feel like he had forced me to do something I didn’t want to do. The look on his face had said it all. He probably thought I was batshit crazy.
Skylar got that look on her face, the one where she didn’t believe a word I had said. “Your face is flushed.”
I swallowed hard. “I’m fine.” My voice cracked. Damn it.
Skylar caught my stare. “Michelle, did Zeb do something to you?”
“If he did, I’ll kick his damn ass,” Wyatt said as he balled his fists.
“He was a perfect gentleman. I don’t know why you don’t like him, Wyatt.”
With a snort, Wyatt put the orange juice in the refrigerator. “I have my reasons. I don’t fully trust the guy.”
My stomach twisted and turned. I thought back to earlier when things had gotten so heated between Zeb and me. It was mutual, no doubt, but a part of me had wished I had been with Mitch and not Zeb.
I reached for my purse and backpack. “I’m heading to the library.”
“What? Why? You don’t have to leave,” Skylar said.
Wyatt pulled out more junk food. “If Michelle wants to go to the library, let her, Sky. She already said she had a project to work on.”
Wow, that was subtle.
Deep down, I knew Wyatt didn’t like me being here. I couldn’t blame him. I threw a wrench into their privacy and took Skylar away from him sometimes.
Forcing yet another smile, I stated, “Y’all have fun. I’ll text when I’m on my way back.”
Skylar stepped in front of me. “You don’t have to leave, Michelle.”
“I know, Sky. I really need to get some research done for a project.”
Her eyes searched mine. “We’ll talk later?”
It was like she had a way of looking into my soul and knowing when it was troubled.
I forced the tears back. I wasn’t going to ruin their time alone. I concentrated on keeping my voice even and nonchalant. “Sure, if you want to.”
When she was satisfied I wasn’t going to fall apart, she hugged me and stepped out of the way. I couldn’t get out of the apartment fast enough. Those last few moments I stood there, it felt like the walls were closing in on me.
The second I stepped out into the fresh air, I dragged in a breath.
What is the matter with me?
I felt dirty all of a sudden. Like I couldn’t stand to be in my own skin. Almost as if I had…cheated on someone.
But you liked it.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I shook my head. “No,” I whispered.
You wanted him.
My chest tightened. It was Mitch I wanted, but he had hurt me so deeply.
Revenge was what you were after.
A sob slipped from between my lips as I kept my eyes closed. My memory took me back to Zeb’s lips on mine. His hands on my body.
You. Liked. It.
My body began to tingle as I let myself relish in the memory of my body letting go under Zeb’s touch. The ache in my chest was just as evident. My emotions were a mixture of pleasure and pain. I’d enjoyed Zeb making me feel good, but it had torn my heart apart at the same time. It pained me, knowing that another man had been so intimate with me. Another man besides Mitch.
Mitch.
“Michelle?”
My eyes snapped open, and I sucked in a breath as I saw Mitch standing in front of me.
“Wh-what are you…why are you here?” Everything was spinning as I tried to focus on him.
“You said my name.”
Widening my eyes in horror, I wondered what else I had said out loud. “What?”
He took a step closer. “You said my name, but you had your eyes closed, so you didn’t see me walk up.”
My mouth opened, but nothing came out. Not more than one minute ago, my body had been on fire as I thought about Zeb’s touch, and now, it felt like a ton of cold water was being poured over my head.
Guilt. Shame. Regret.
It all swirled around in my heart as I stood there, stunned.
Then, he smiled, and all that I felt was anger.
Lacing my voice with ice, I spit out, “What are you doing here?”
His smile faded instantly. “I…I thought maybe we could talk.”
The softness in his voice cracked the wall I’d put up to keep him out.
Toning my anger down, I asked, “Talk about what?”
Mitch shrugged. “I don’t know. Us?”
I swung my backpack over my shoulder and headed toward the parking lot. “There is no us, Mitch. You made sure of that when you slept with…what was her name again? Let’s just go with whore.”
Following me, Mitch replied, “It doesn’t matter what her name is. All that matters is, I miss you. Will you just give me five minutes? Please. That’s all I’m asking for.”
I swung around, and Mitch nearly ran into me. When his hands landed on my shoulders, I gasped. I went silent as his eyes searched mine. I hadn’t realized how much I missed his touch.
Cue the guilt, please.
“Please, Michelle. Please give me five minutes.”
I was about to agree when someone said, “Why don’t you take your hands off of her, asshole?”
The sound of Zeb’s voice cut through the air and caused my breath to stall. Mitch’s gaze moved past me as he frowned. I knew I had to quickly defuse this situation.
“It’s okay, Zeb. Mitch is Skylar’s brother.”
When Mitch swung his eyes back to mine, I saw the hurt in them, and it nearly dropped me to my knees. Even after everything Mitch had done to me, he was still so much more than my best friend’s brother.
“Is that really all I am, Michelle? We can’t even be friends?”
Zeb walked up and pushed Mitch away from me. “I said, take your hands off of her.”
Mitch turned to Zeb. “I don’t believe she’s your property, asshole.”
My stomach churned. Something terrible was about to happen. I could feel it in my bones.
“Well, she’s my girlfriend. So, your hands on her isn’t working for me.”
My head jerked back, and I turned to Zeb.
“What?” Mitch and I said at once.
I didn’t know what had stunned me more. Mitch, here in Waco, or Zeb professing that I was his girlfriend.
“What do you mean, she’s your girlfriend?” Mitch asked.
Zeb smiled. “I mean, we’re dating. We’re doing all the things a boyfriend and girlfriend do.”
He glanced at me and winked. My mouth felt like cotton, and I wanted to hit Zeb for what he was doing. He knew this was Mitch, and there was no doubt in my mind he was purposely saying this to hurt him. Maybe he thought it was what I wanted.
I’m going to be sick.
Mitch took a few steps back. His face turned white as a ghost. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was about to throw up right alongside me.
He slowly caught my eyes. “Did you…oh God, what have you done?”
I shook my head. “No! It’s not what you think.”
Mitch took another step away. His balance was off, and I was afraid he was going to pass out. I wasn’t sure why I even cared what Mitch thought. He was the one who had cheated on me, but I did care. More than I realized. I wasn’t sure if that pissed me off or hurt me even more.
Panic set in, and I had no idea why, but I cried out, “Zeb! Tell him we haven’t slept together! Tell him!”
Zeb looked confused as he glanced between us. Something moved across his face. “We didn’t do anything Michelle didn’t want to do.”
And there it was. The moment where I wished I could climb into a time machine and go back six months. Start this whole college nightmare over again.
Mitch turned and threw up. I rushed over to him and put my hand on his back. He jerked away, and I instantly felt the tears sliding down my cheeks.
“Michelle, what in the hell is going on?” Zeb asked. “Why do you care about what he thinks?”
Not taking my eyes off of Mitch, I barely had the energy to reply, “Zeb, please let me take care of this, and I’ll call you later.”
When Zeb didn’t move, I looked over my shoulder at him, giving him a pleading look.
He nodded his head and then dragged his hands down his face. “I’m sorry, Michelle. I thought you wanted me to say it. You know, with what happened earlier.”
The only thing I could do was force a small grin. Zeb had seen me upset, and he’d known Mitch was the cause. He had tried to dish it back out to Mitch, but I hadn’t been ready for that showdown, and Zeb had realized that after it was too late.
“I know,” I whispered.
Zeb nodded. “I’ll call you later?”
The only thing I could say was, “Okay.”
Mitch had finally stopped dry-heaving, but he was still bent over with his hands on his knees.
Zeb made a move like he was going to kiss me good-bye, but I shook my head. He lifted his hand instead and turned to leave.
I focused back on Mitch, who was now standing, his hands grabbing at his hair.
No matter what he had done to me, I still loved him. A piece of me would always love him. Seeing him with such a pained expression on his face about killed me. All those nights, I had lain in bed, wanting to make him feel the way I felt. Now, I’d give anything not to see him hurting.
Did he feel the same way after his cheating episode? Did he ache over my own hurt?
It was then I took a good look at him. He’d lost weight, and his eyes looked sad. I’d never seen him look so tired.
“Mitch,” I whispered as I took a step closer to him.
He dropped his hands, as if he had given up on everything. I could almost see the life being sucked out of him. I couldn’t move. I hit a brick wall the moment I saw his tears.
“Payback sucks,” he whispered.
Anger quickly replaced what sympathy I’d had for him. “Is that what you think I’m doing? Paying you back by being with someone else?”
He slowly shook his head. “No. That’s not the type of person you are, Michelle. I know it’s simply Karma coming back on me, and I knew it would happen. What I didn’t know was how bad it would hurt.”
I almost buckled over. It felt like someone had sucker-punched me in the stomach.
Why? Why is this happening to me? To him? To us?
Oh, that’s right. Because Mitch cheated on me.
He’d put his own greedy thoughts ahead of my feelings. Ahead of our relationship.
Wiping his tears from his face, he forced a smile. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I let you down. I’m sorry I let my family down.” His voice shook, and he had to pause for a few seconds before speaking again, “I’m so damn sorry I hurt you. I came here with the intention of begging you to forgive me. To give me another chance.” He let out a gruff laugh and looked away. His hand pushed roughly through his messy hair.
I took in his appearance again.
When was the last time he brushed his hair?
It looked like he had been sleeping in the same clothes for days.
“I see now, that was a mistake. You’ve moved on, and I…I don’t…”
He swallowed hard, and I fought to try and find air to breathe.
His eyes met mine. “I don’t blame you, Michelle. What I did to you is unforgivable. I can’t forgive myself, so I’m not sure why I thought you would be able to forgive me.”
Standing there, frozen, I tried to make myself speak. A part of me wanted to run into his arms and tell him I forgave him. The other part would never forget the way I’d felt when he told me he had slept with another woman. The wound was deep, and I wasn’t sure when it would heal…or even if it would.
Mitch stared into my eyes, waiting for me to say or do something to show him that I forgave him.
My head was spinning, and my heart felt like it was about to beat out of my chest.
I took a deep breath and was about to talk when Mitch looked down. He slowly turned and walked away from me. I took a step forward and barely held out my hand, but then I dropped it.
Just when I had thought I didn’t have any tears left to cry, they came again. I watched the love of my life retreat further and further away from me. When he turned the corner, my whole body slowly dropped to the ground.
Burying my face in my hands, I cried out Mitch’s name.
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
* * *
Mitch
Two Months Later
MY PHONE BUZZED on the side table, causing me to turn and see Wyatt’s number. Sighing, I sent the call to voice mail.
“Dude, you look like shit.”
I didn’t even bother looking at my roommate, Chuck. He’d been telling me I looked like shit for the last six months.
“What else is new?” I somberly said.
“You need to get out and get laid. Forget about her, Mitch. She’s moved on, and now, you need to. Dude, you have endless pussy at your feet. Take advantage of it.”
I rolled my eyes. It was true. If I wanted to, I could probably call two girls and have a threesome within the next hour. Something a few of the football players had done already. I’d had to stay at a hotel more than a few times after coming back to my room and seeing two girls all over Chuck. A couple times he’d offered me one of the girls. I never once had the desire to hook up with any of them.
None of them were Michelle.
Standing up, I grabbed my phone and wireless earbuds. “I’m heading out for a run.”
Chuck shook his head. “Running can only replace sex for so long, dude. You’re gonna end up sleeping with some skank.”
I let out a laugh. “Like the girls you bring back here aren’t whores. I’ve seen them all hooking up with other football players.”
With a wink, Chuck let out a roar of laughter. “College is fucking amazing, isn’t it?”
That was my cue to leave.
Exiting the building, I started to put my earbuds in when I heard my name.
“Mitch? Is that you?”
Glancing over my shoulder, I smiled when I saw Beth Wrangler. She was an old friend of Michelle’s and Skylar’s.
“Beth?”
With a slight jog, she ran and threw her arms around me. “Oh my gosh! It’s nice to see someone I know!”
Laughing, I hugged her back and then let her go. “I didn’t know you were here at UT. I thought you went to Texas Tech.”
She rolled her eyes. “That was the plan at first. Well, that was my plan anyway. My parents graduated from here, so it was pretty much a given at birth that I would be a Longhorn. They let me have one semester at Texas Tech to get it out of my system before forcing me to come here.”
I let out another chuckle. “I’m glad to see a friendly face.”
Her eyes searched my face, and her smile slowly faded. “Hey, are you okay? You look…well, to be honest, you look like shit.”
Wow. Brutally honest.
She held up her hands. “Wait, that’s not what I meant.”
With a wink, I nodded. “I feel like shit, so I’m not surprised I look like it.”
Beth tilted her head and wore a concerned look. “Is it school? Football?”
Shaking my head, I replied, “Michelle. We broke up last semester. I thought you knew.”
Her eyes widened in shock. “No! I mean, I knew something was wrong at Christmas, but I thought y’all were fighting maybe. I never really had a chance to talk to Michelle or catch up. She didn’t say a word. What happened? I always loved you two together. You were the perfect couple.”
There went the ache in my chest and the twist in my stomach. “I was an asshole. Cheated on her.”
This time, Beth gasped. Then, she slapped the shit out of me.
“What the hell?” I cried out as I covered my stinging cheek with my hand.
“That was for cheating. I hate cheaters.”
Rubbing out the sting, I replied, “I’d say so. Shit, that hurt.”
She smiled. “Good.” Taking a quick glance over my body, she asked, “Were you going for a run, or do you have time to grab lunch with me? We can catch up.”
My head pulled back in surprise. “I thought you said you hated cheaters?”
Her hands went to her hips. “I can clearly see you’ve been putting yourself through hell over this. I’m going to guess Michelle hasn’t forgiven you?”
